How to comport yourself like a proper villain whilst traveling: Via Automobile.

Kinja'd!!! "jsmizira" (jmizira)
12/12/2013 at 12:24 • Filed to: None

Kinja'd!!!6 Kinja'd!!! 20
Kinja'd!!!

As a villain you, undoubtedly have appointments and carefully planned schedules that must be kept. Therefore a ruthless efficiency in travel is a must for the well heeled mastermind. Now normally a distinguished Villain leaves the actual driving to Those lowlier than themselves and prefers to keep his mind occupied on the master plan whilst lounging in great comfort. However certain situations necessitate the need to drive oneself.

Just like anything else, mind you, to do so without proper knowledge and etiquette is beneath you and not suiting a proper villain. Therefore, as always, to maintain the ability and inclination to comport yourself in a way that is both intrinsically wrong and yet deeply, beautifully right we shall re view a few points that need to be considered.

How you drive

Let us make one thing clear; You are a villain of great class and distinction. Your net wealth is greater than the vast majority of third world nations and a few first world nations. So to have the same driving manners and habits as the teen mom sexting in the SUV next to you is shameful! You may have to share a motorway but certainly not your outlook on the world.

That means that while you are driving, your focus is about getting to your destination as safely and as brutally quickly as possible. Don't be distracted behind the wheel. You are not a goldfish after all.

To be a better driver one would suggest attending a racing school. There mastery of car control and the ability to drive even faster and more efficiently awaits you. This will aid in you being the master of your vehicle and will cut down on those embarrassing accidents when you are in the middle of your hostile overtake takeover.

Another thing to make sure you do for maximum pedal-to-the medal-ness is to stay to the right lane until you need to pass somebody. when you do need to pass some economy car driving peasant use your signal. this flashing light alerts them to the danger behind them and reminds them to stay out of your way.

What to drive.

Kinja'd!!!

When you are driving yourself you don't need to worry about back seats. Yes, there are a plethora of vehicles you can chose from but very few you should chose from. The vehicle bust be understated yet flashy, with a presence of it's own to complement you very imposing presence. The vehicle above fits nicely with that theme. !!!error: Indecipherable SUB-paragraph formatting!!! has the ability to scare little children whilst being both reliable an unequivocally fast, winning overall consistently.

!!! UNKNOWN CONTENT TYPE !!!

Another Brilliant car you must consider is the Jaguar F type.

Kinja'd!!!

Renown the world over for sounding like greater gods gargling Thor's hammer in a volcano of... well you get he picture, it will get you there swiftly and will look absolutely stunning when you get there. not to mention its reasonable price tag.

Read more Good To Be Bad here.


DISCUSSION (20)


Kinja'd!!! d3v > jsmizira
01/23/2014 at 13:23

Kinja'd!!!3

Really, most of this wasn't needed. Just posting pics of the F-type would have been enough.


Kinja'd!!! jsmizira > d3v
01/23/2014 at 13:42

Kinja'd!!!3

so... i had fun writing it.


Kinja'd!!! d3v > jsmizira
01/23/2014 at 13:52

Kinja'd!!!2

But not having more pictures of the F-type instead is a disservice to humanity.


Kinja'd!!! mynameserl > jsmizira
01/23/2014 at 13:56

Kinja'd!!!0

You had my curiosity with the Exelero, but now you have my attenion with the new R18. I think a Zonda R that's all black with red accents in the headlights would be another option.


Kinja'd!!! jsmizira > d3v
01/23/2014 at 13:59

Kinja'd!!!2

AGGHH!!!! I now see the error of my ways!!!!

Kinja'd!!!

maybe this will be a small token of my repentance.


Kinja'd!!! jsmizira > mynameserl
01/23/2014 at 14:00

Kinja'd!!!0

ooh a zonda R like that would be choice.


Kinja'd!!! squelchuk > jsmizira
01/23/2014 at 14:19

Kinja'd!!!0

Sadly, y'all are wrong (or is it all y'all are wrong?). A proper villain would drive an minivan.

To quote the inestimable Chris Brookmyre in "A Big Boy Did It And Ran Away" (a book I heartily recommend, 'Death would drive an Espace.'

And if Death would drive an Espace, any villain worth his salt would drive some sort of lesser minivan/MPV. If any of you want to know why, let me know and I'll transcribe a small passage of his book. But you should buy it because it's one of hte best books I've ever read. Ever. EV. ER.

Amazon UK http://goo.gl/A4wSrO


Kinja'd!!! kclanton1980 > jsmizira
01/23/2014 at 14:30

Kinja'd!!!0

the jag has a reasonable price tag?? really...?


Kinja'd!!! xaevuus > mynameserl
01/23/2014 at 14:44

Kinja'd!!!1

OR VENENO... anyone even considering that hideous/evil beast?

Kinja'd!!!

Kinja'd!!!

Kinja'd!!!

Kinja'd!!!


Kinja'd!!! mynameserl > xaevuus
01/23/2014 at 15:04

Kinja'd!!!0

oh yeah I forgot about that one...good suggestion.


Kinja'd!!! Marnold40 > jsmizira
01/23/2014 at 15:09

Kinja'd!!!2

Kinja'd!!!

I always thought Jag Xjs were one of the best "Super Villain" car. Especially in black. Basically any black jaguar cuts it.


Kinja'd!!! jsmizira > kclanton1980
01/23/2014 at 15:31

Kinja'd!!!1

if you can steal the moon? or use hostile takeover on a semi daily basis? yes its super reasonable.


Kinja'd!!! way2white > jsmizira
01/23/2014 at 15:45

Kinja'd!!!1

I don't think these rules applied to Brad Wesley in Roadhouse


Kinja'd!!! merkyg > jsmizira
01/23/2014 at 15:48

Kinja'd!!!0

Black Merc - the classic choice.


Kinja'd!!! Thumper99 > jsmizira
01/23/2014 at 15:56

Kinja'd!!!1

Kinja'd!!!

Nothing more evil in the world than driving one of these and clogging up traffic....


Kinja'd!!! Korea Miéville > kclanton1980
01/23/2014 at 16:40

Kinja'd!!!0

I saw that and thought, "Whoa, really? Maybe I could...." Googled price. Wept bitterly.


Kinja'd!!! Ger > jsmizira
01/23/2014 at 16:44

Kinja'd!!!3

Kinja'd!!!

One of these, with a raising SAM launcher in the rear, between the massive globe next to the mahogany and crimson leather minibar, and 20 different LCD panels streaming global news.


Kinja'd!!! Ellen-Rose > jsmizira
01/23/2014 at 20:35

Kinja'd!!!1

Let's be despicable as well as villainous:


Kinja'd!!! Emucratic > xaevuus
01/24/2014 at 02:05

Kinja'd!!!0

That's something a 9 year old would drive.


Kinja'd!!! studio25 > jsmizira
01/24/2014 at 04:05

Kinja'd!!!1

Kinja'd!!!