Work Rant about uneducated people...

"CAR_IS_MI" (car-is-mi)
12/03/2013 at 17:05 • Filed to: None

So I work as a dynomometer technician, and basically spend my day answering questions completely unrelated to the dyno (I wired fuel injectors from a dodge into this Hyundai and now it wont work, what's wrong with my dyno?). Some of these people amaze me at the fact that they are known names in the industry.

I just spoke with a man who has no clue what torque is. Literally. No. Clue. So much so that he was unclear on the fact that the cars engine produced torque (yes I am freaking serious!).

"So if you apply 300 lb/ft of torque to my engine at 3000 rpm vs. 300 lb/ft at 6000 rpm, that's like half the force because the engine is spinning twice as fast, right?"

- I attempted to explain that the dyno measures torque, but does not produce a specific amount of torque to be applied to the engine. I also attempted to explain that the torque is being produced BY the engine and then translated through a transmission, driveshaft, differential, axle, and finally wheels and tires before we read the output.

"Yea, but, if it says 300 lb/ft at 6000 rpm that's really half of what it is making at 3000 rpm right?"

- I attempted to explain that the measurement of torque being lb/ft is a constant unit of measurement, much like 1 foot is always 12 inches, 1 lb/ft is always 1 lb/ft whether its at 100 rpm or 1,000,000 rpm.

"Okay so if I were to like freeze a second of time and measure that torque number against a different second of time they should match?"

- Wow, okay, pure genius here. No, No they should not. An attempt at explaining how many variables (amount of air, fuel, piston shape, head shape, valve size, lift duration, cam profile, etc etc.) can effect a torque curve pretty much got the answer of, "oh...okay. Thanks"

Yea, how do you have a job?

/rant

DISCUSSION (13)

Takuro Spirit > CAR_IS_MI
12/03/2013 at 17:13

I always get the "Well on the internet I read...." people.

ddavidn > Takuro Spirit
12/03/2013 at 17:19

Unfortunately, I am this person. But I try to be nice about it.

CAR_IS_MI > Takuro Spirit
12/03/2013 at 17:19

Because we all know "Everything you read on the internet is true" - Thomas Jefferson; 94th President of North America.

PS9 > CAR_IS_MI
12/03/2013 at 17:19

You missed a major opportunity for fuckery there.

"Ahh, I see what you're trying to do. Want more torque, but can't afford the money? Let me clue you in: It's all about that moment arm baby."

"What's that?"

"It's measured at the center of the wheel to the edge. If you want more torque, the quickest way to get it is to get reeeeeeeally tiny wheels. You know those guys in the old box chevys with those dinky little wheels? Ever wonder why they do it? Now you know! Just reduce the length of your moment arm, and you'll get all the torque you could ever hope for."

"Wow, thanks!" * runs out and buys thousands of dollars worth of stupid ass wheels for completely the wrong reason*

V8Demon - Prefers Autos for drag racing. Fite me! > CAR_IS_MI
12/03/2013 at 17:23

I'd love to ask if you've ever gotten calls from a few people I know who modify cars. I'll resist the urge though.

P.S. - I can see the coolness factor of your job as well as all the annoying crap that goes with it.

Here's hoping tomorrow is better.

CAR_IS_MI > PS9
12/03/2013 at 17:24

LMAO. I would either get fired or promoted for a stunt like that...

Klaus Schmoll > CAR_IS_MI
12/03/2013 at 17:27

Sadly, these people are everywhere. And they (mostly) manage to pass as professionals in their field of work. My step-dad is an electrical engineer. He spends his days planning/overseeing the planning of all things electrical in new schools, hospitals, convention centres, underground stations and the like. He has some very interesting tales to tell. I also have some suspicion that he enjoyed exposing these impostors in the past. Age may have turned him wiser and softer.

In my field, I also see some weird people, but at the very least, the need to have two majors plus a bachelor weeds out a few of the whackos.

CAR_IS_MI > V8Demon - Prefers Autos for drag racing. Fite me!
12/03/2013 at 17:27

I probably have. Sadly, I have spoken with people (who will remain nameless) who I had respect for before I started due to their apparent presence and knowledge in the aftermarket world, and then I spoke with them and realized that they just don't have a clue. One of which (without revealing too many details) is a producer of high end parts, and they are good at it, but when it comes to anything slightly outside their little norm, they are completely clueless, so much so that you begin to question if they have ever even seen a car.

CAR_IS_MI > Klaus Schmoll
12/03/2013 at 17:29

unfortunelty in this industry all you 'need' is a certificate that says you have two hands and know how to change oil. and the two hands bit is more of a suggestion than a requirement.

V8Demon - Prefers Autos for drag racing. Fite me! > CAR_IS_MI
12/03/2013 at 17:30

I have ZERO formal training when it comes to auto mechanics. I just like to fix/modify my cars by my own when I can/when time permits (family members are mechanics and I've picked up some things from them) and I have spent a few years turning a wrench on airplanes and building houses after that. I've had "mechanics" I know call me on my cell phone more than once and ask for assistance. Keep in mind my current career has NOTHING to do with fixing/designing/building anything.

CAR_IS_MI > V8Demon - Prefers Autos for drag racing. Fite me!
12/03/2013 at 17:34

Same boat dude. I just bought a car and decided to start ripping shit apart, what I didn't know I researched. I still get asked by all sorts of people about what to do and how to do it. I even got a random phone cal from a cop once because he knew an acquaintance of mine who told him I knew a lot about cars. I helped him build a 750hp Shelby and now were good buddies.

Klaus Schmoll > CAR_IS_MI
12/03/2013 at 17:53

In Germany, when it comes to Auto shops, the system is still quite medieval. Guilds still rule. It is a blessing as well as a cure. To open your own legit shop, you have to go through lengthy schooling. 3 years as an apprentice, and then another 2 years of further schooling to become a "master" to be able to run a shop. Unfortunately this obviously jacks up prices on hourly rates. And it still doesn't prevent the usual "come for a cheap winter check and we oversell you on unneccesary repairs" scheme.

CAR_IS_MI > Klaus Schmoll
12/03/2013 at 18:07

Shops are pricey here too without the school. I believe the average price nation wide is around $80 us / hr.

At least in Germany there is some sort of educational requirement.