Something Has Been Bothering Me...

"PatBateman" (PatBateman) 12/03/2013 at 10:49 • Filed to: Balls for Whips

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You've probably heard the recent story about the guy in Australia who sold one of his testicles to buy a Nissan 370Z. Most people have been asking "Who sells one of their testicles for this?" But the REAL questions are...

Who the hell BUYS someone else's testicle?!?! And WHY would they want it? The answers are most likely darker than I would care to hear, but the possibilities running through my imagination make me shiver and cringe.

Nibbles > PatBateman 12/03/2013 at 10:51

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Everything can be sold, and for everything there is a buyer

Let that sink in for a minute

Cherry_man1 > PatBateman 12/03/2013 at 10:52

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He sold it to a research lab.

PatBateman > Nibbles 12/03/2013 at 10:52

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It's been sinking in for the past few days. That's the reason why I've been cringing.

Your boy, BJR > PatBateman 12/03/2013 at 10:52

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Maybe they'll eat it? IDFK.

PatBateman > Cherry_man1 12/03/2013 at 10:53

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A testicle from one person is worth that much to a lab? Are the balls off of a recently dead guy not good enough?!

RamblinRover Luxury-Yacht > PatBateman 12/03/2013 at 10:53

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Matched tissue type - probably possible to replace like any other organ one that's damaged (say, someone who's lost or losing both - one generally isn't a health affector. However, raises the specter of the dread Man With Four Balls.

Has to take anti-rejection meds? Doesn't care - has four balls.

Also, any above scenario makes paternity a bitch.

PS9 > PatBateman 12/03/2013 at 10:54

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Meh, it's not that shocking. It's just a testicle. It's not like he sold his 10yo daughter off to permanent sexual slavery (a thing you can totally do in some darker corners of the world...)

Cherry_man1 > PatBateman 12/03/2013 at 10:54

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They needed a live one, no pun intended, but yes they needed one that could still make sperm.

PatBateman > Your boy, BJR 12/03/2013 at 10:54

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This is the possibility that has scared me the most. And ID want to FK if that's the case.

Your boy, BJR > PatBateman 12/03/2013 at 10:55

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Ever had rocky mountain oysters?

PatBateman > Cherry_man1 12/03/2013 at 10:57

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If this is indeed the case, I feel MUCH better. Some scene of a wealthy guy having a human testicle fried up for his consumption during a pagan ritual kept playing through the dark corners of my mind.

Sn210 > PatBateman 12/03/2013 at 10:58

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I think the even real-er question is who buys a 370z?!

PatBateman > Your boy, BJR 12/03/2013 at 10:59

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The beef ones, yes (they're great with a bock beer batter and some ranch dressing). Not the human ones.

Cherry_man1 > PatBateman 12/03/2013 at 11:00

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Or that could be making these.

(Ive been using this photo alot today....just seems so fitting )

PatBateman > PS9 12/03/2013 at 11:00

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Like I said, it's not that he sold the testicle. It's the fact that someone bought it. Someone else pointed out that it was given to a research facility. I could live with that.

PatBateman > Cherry_man1 12/03/2013 at 11:02

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Mental note: don't eat Australian mayonnaise.

Cherry_man1 > PatBateman 12/03/2013 at 11:02

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XD

Vintage1982Benz > PatBateman 12/04/2013 at 11:45

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What car (if any) would you sell a nut for? Straight up trade - walnut for wheels.

PatBateman > Vintage1982Benz 12/04/2013 at 11:59

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I hadn't really thought about this. Given that my wife and I are already done having children, I don't really NEED them for procreation purposes. If one was sold, I must know that it would be used for good-cause research and not for some sick, twisted reason.

With that said, IF I sold one the family jewels, it would probably be for a Ferrari 458 Italia, with 5 years of bumper-to-bumper maintenance and insurance included. I could say a Veyron, but I would honestly be too scared to drive it.

Vintage1982Benz > PatBateman 12/04/2013 at 12:40

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I like the choice of the 458.

I don't know that I could part with one of the boys down below, but if I did it would have to be for the Porsche 918 Spyder, or the Pagani Huayra.

Basically, my baseline is no nuts for less than a million dollars.