WHY MUST YOU BE AN AUTOMATIC?!?!

"Arch Duke Maxyenko, Shit Talk Extraordinaire" (arch-duke-maxyenko)
11/24/2013 at 20:43 • Filed to: ebay

A 1998 M3 Sedan in Techno-Violet, with only 64,102 miles, Florida car. BUT, IT HAS A DAMN AUTOMATIC. WHO ORDERED THIS? You make me sad to have this awesomeness, but it is ruined with that transmission!

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DISCUSSION (47)

Manuél Ferrari > Arch Duke Maxyenko, Shit Talk Extraordinaire
11/24/2013 at 20:44

It's a travesty

Manuél Ferrari > Arch Duke Maxyenko, Shit Talk Extraordinaire
11/24/2013 at 20:44

It's a travesty

Arch Duke Maxyenko, Shit Talk Extraordinaire > Arch Duke Maxyenko, Shit Talk Extraordinaire
11/24/2013 at 20:45

MOTHERFUCK

Reigntastic > Arch Duke Maxyenko, Shit Talk Extraordinaire
11/24/2013 at 20:46

Gross.

Arch Duke Maxyenko, Shit Talk Extraordinaire > Reigntastic
11/24/2013 at 20:47

It is so perfect, except for that damn transmission. I love this shade of purple, too.

Reigntastic > Arch Duke Maxyenko, Shit Talk Extraordinaire
11/24/2013 at 20:49

I mean, you can always swap it, but that'll look weird with the VIN. Not really worth it at that point, kills any feels I'd have for the car.

exizeo - still loving fourza > Arch Duke Maxyenko, Shit Talk Extraordinaire
11/24/2013 at 20:49

Also, that red stripe along the windowline...

Just do a tranny swap. People have been doing it on auto 330i ZHPs, swapping them out for 5/6MTs.

N/A POWAAAHH > Arch Duke Maxyenko, Shit Talk Extraordinaire
11/24/2013 at 20:49

Kinja'd!!!

Arch Duke Maxyenko, Shit Talk Extraordinaire > exizeo - still loving fourza
11/24/2013 at 20:51

Edit, it's an ///M stripe, I like it.

That would be a lot of effort, for the swap.

scoob > Arch Duke Maxyenko, Shit Talk Extraordinaire
11/24/2013 at 20:51

M COLORED PINSTRIPES!!!!!1!!11!!1!!!!!!! M COOLROED PINESTIPSESS!Q!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

The Real Dacia Sandero > exizeo - still loving fourza
11/24/2013 at 20:52

This

BMWs are really easy to do a manual swap on.

N/A POWAAAHH > N/A POWAAAHH
11/24/2013 at 20:52

Kinja'd!!!

Manuél Ferrari > exizeo - still loving fourza
11/24/2013 at 20:53

I didn't know people were doing swaps of the tranny in the 330i ZHPs. It seems expensive. Seems like it would be cheaper to sell the car and buy one with an MT.

Jeff-God-of-Biscuits > Arch Duke Maxyenko, Shit Talk Extraordinaire
11/24/2013 at 20:53

Kinja'd!!!

your color choice, that is.

Sn210 > Arch Duke Maxyenko, Shit Talk Extraordinaire
11/24/2013 at 20:53

Everything should be available in Techno-Violet.

desertdog5051 > Arch Duke Maxyenko, Shit Talk Extraordinaire
11/24/2013 at 20:54

There, there. It's only a dream. It will go away when you wake up.

Arch Duke Maxyenko, Shit Talk Extraordinaire > scoob
11/24/2013 at 20:54

I know, sooooooo sweet.

Dunnik > Arch Duke Maxyenko, Shit Talk Extraordinaire
11/24/2013 at 20:54

Why a purple M3 with an automatic?

Because Florida.

Arch Duke Maxyenko, Shit Talk Extraordinaire > Dunnik
11/24/2013 at 20:56

I like purple, but that fucking transmission.

exizeo - still loving fourza > Manuél Ferrari
11/24/2013 at 20:56

I assure you swapping a tranny doesn't cost damn near 12k, and the trouble of finding an unmolested MT.

exizeo - still loving fourza > The Real Dacia Sandero
11/24/2013 at 20:57

Someone did a DIY on e46fanatics, if I remember correctly. With detailed pictures.

I don't have an E46, but it doesn't exactly look really complicated.

Manuél Ferrari > Dunnik
11/24/2013 at 20:57

I do actually like the purple. But mix it with the automatic and it does scream FL. Specifically South Beach. I could see the original owner not giving a crap about performance and just buying it to look cool.

Arch Duke Maxyenko, Shit Talk Extraordinaire > desertdog5051
11/24/2013 at 20:58

It's like that dream where you finally get with the girl, and it turns out that she has no sexual orifices at all.

/shuders

Manuél Ferrari > exizeo - still loving fourza
11/24/2013 at 21:00

I didn't mean to infer that it would cost 12K. I was assuming the original car could be sold for some price and the cost would then be the delta between the sale price and the price of the new car.

But I had not considered how hard it would be to find an unmolested car with an MT. You're probably right that it would take a lot of effort and patience. If the car with the auto was in good shape and well cared for it might be better to do the tranny swap. Especially if you could find a tranny for cheap by pulling it out of a wrecked car.

Arch Duke Maxyenko, Shit Talk Extraordinaire > exizeo - still loving fourza
11/24/2013 at 21:05

I would have to pay someone to do this, I lack the proper facilities. So, labor at $120 per hour, the price of the car, plus price of a transmission, it would cost me a bunch.

Manuél Ferrari > Arch Duke Maxyenko, Shit Talk Extraordinaire
11/24/2013 at 21:08

I just thought of the only 2 scenarios in which BMW should have allowed a customer to buy an automatic E36 M3. Both should have required proof that the customer met one of the two conditions before the dealership was allowed to sell the car.

1. Customer had some sort of disability that made driving the MT impossible.

2. Customer already had an E36 with the MT and loved it SO much that he wanted an automatic version to drive in stop in go traffic in one of the country's worst metro areas (e.g. LA, Manhattan).

There are no other excuses for having a slushbox M3.

wbizarre - OEM fetishist > Arch Duke Maxyenko, Shit Talk Extraordinaire
11/24/2013 at 21:08

Swap it! God knows it's been done before.

Manuél Ferrari > Arch Duke Maxyenko, Shit Talk Extraordinaire
11/24/2013 at 21:10

I wouldn't have the skills to do it even if I had the facilities. If I tried the best case scenario would be 3 working gears, including reverse (if that one happened to work when the swap was done)

Arch Duke Maxyenko, Shit Talk Extraordinaire > wbizarre - OEM fetishist
11/24/2013 at 21:12

God also knows that I have not the facilities nor the money to pay someone to do it right.

Arch Duke Maxyenko, Shit Talk Extraordinaire > Manuél Ferrari
11/24/2013 at 21:14

If I had the facilities, it would shift, but you wouldn't be able to run it with all the error codes, because I can't tune a computer.

thebigbossyboss > Arch Duke Maxyenko, Shit Talk Extraordinaire
11/24/2013 at 21:15

My buddy had a purple 3 like that. But manual, because in africa, all cars are manual.

Manuél Ferrari > Arch Duke Maxyenko, Shit Talk Extraordinaire
11/24/2013 at 21:17

LOL. It would be throwing error codes that weren't in the book. You'd have to look them up on the web and translate information from German to English to know what's wrong.

Arch Duke Maxyenko, Shit Talk Extraordinaire > Manuél Ferrari
11/24/2013 at 21:19

The code would translate to, "YOU HAVE DONE FUCKED UP"

wbizarre - OEM fetishist > Arch Duke Maxyenko, Shit Talk Extraordinaire
11/24/2013 at 21:26

That's the internet, I suppose. People criticizing things they can't afford.

Arch Duke Maxyenko, Shit Talk Extraordinaire > wbizarre - OEM fetishist
11/24/2013 at 21:27

I have the money to buy the car, just not to get it sorted.

Manuél Ferrari > Arch Duke Maxyenko, Shit Talk Extraordinaire
11/24/2013 at 21:29

And since the computer would have known that the car was sent to the American market it would have also said ",YOU STUPID YANKEE" at the end.

wbizarre - OEM fetishist > Arch Duke Maxyenko, Shit Talk Extraordinaire
11/24/2013 at 21:36

Well, e36's are pretty cheap right now and relatively plentiful. Good luck with your search!

Manuél Ferrari > Arch Duke Maxyenko, Shit Talk Extraordinaire
11/24/2013 at 21:40

This reminds me. I once saw a clean AMG 190 E 2.3-16 on Autotrader for a good price. I got excited then saw that it had a slushbox. Why? Why did they make a comfort version of a race car?

Arch Duke Maxyenko, Shit Talk Extraordinaire > wbizarre - OEM fetishist
11/24/2013 at 21:41

I have a 1996 328i Sedan with a manual, so it's not really a search, but every now and then, I see an ad and go, "I could possibly swing it."

TheBloody, Oppositelock lives on in our shitposts. > Arch Duke Maxyenko, Shit Talk Extraordinaire
11/24/2013 at 21:42

No it's the one where she opens her legs, tells you to take her then you look down and see there is nothing to take her with...

exizeo - still loving fourza > Manuél Ferrari
11/24/2013 at 21:51

It's been done.

More difficult than a e46 swap, but it's doable.

M54B30 > Arch Duke Maxyenko, Shit Talk Extraordinaire
11/24/2013 at 23:14

Worth it. I pick manual over auto 99.5% of the time like anyone else here, but that's a beautiful, CLEAN M3 with vader seats. I can deal with a missing pedal.

Biostar01 > scoob
11/24/2013 at 23:36

Sorry, but you lost me at

' COOLROED PINESTIPSESS!Q!'

Evan, Pope Of Jalopnik by Self-Appointment > Arch Duke Maxyenko, Shit Talk Extraordinaire
11/24/2013 at 23:54

Hey it can be changed...along with that nasty wood. I love that color so much. Just do it. You always wanted a BMW project car, you know you did.

My dream is to get an individual F10 M5 in Techno Violet with the Sakhir Orange leather inside.

Evan, Pope Of Jalopnik by Self-Appointment > Sn210
11/24/2013 at 23:55

Thats what I'm saying. It might be the best color ever invented. I want my MacBook Pro to be Techno Violet. And my TV. And my E28. And my...everything.

Jimmy Joe Meeker > Arch Duke Maxyenko, Shit Talk Extraordinaire
11/25/2013 at 02:07

Want to be horrified like that often?

There's a used car lot by me.. mostly BMW, Audi, Porsche, MB, etc and so on and so forth... nearly everything automatic trans.

I take a shortcut through their lot when walking to the bank next door. I look inside interesting cars to see if they are MT. Sometimes they are but I still don't inquire because ultimately the stories of cost of caring for these cars and way too much being dealer locked puts me off.

Camshaft190 > Arch Duke Maxyenko, Shit Talk Extraordinaire
11/25/2013 at 11:07

While I would prefer a manual for an M3, the E36 M3 had arguably the best automatic gearbox on offer at the time imo. I was shocked by how responsive it was when I first drove one.

Of course the auto would beat all but pros from standing start 0-60s etc. BUT, no other automatic I drove (worked at a large import dealer back then) came close at roll-on throttle response.

If you haven't driven one, try it first, you may be shocked.