Dear Bring a Trailer (commenters),

"therotaryisdeadlonglivetherotary" (therotaryisdeadlonglivetherotary) 11/14/2013 at 16:37 • Filed to: None

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So today I found a Porsche 550 Spyder coasts four million dollars.

Four million dollars. There's almost as many zeroes behind the four as there are letters in the word. That's a lot of zeroes.

You could have four 2000GTs for that kind of money.

But wait, that would be stupid, because the 2000GT is overpriced.

And I quote:

I'm a bit perplexed as to why they now bring a million dollars (Bring A Million?) but maybe they are outstanding to drive. I have to admit I don't get it. A million? Really.

And as such we should just stick a V8 in it.

Which Rover V-8 would be best for this Toyota? I'm thinking injected 3.9-liter, breathed on to do about 300 horsepower.

Now I know when you were young and had Ferrari posters and Mustang dreams, Japanese cars fell somewhere between boring-but-useful to never-thought-about-them. So you lusted over the Italians and then the Germans and drove American, looking back on them with nostalgic eyes.

And accordingly the price skyrocketed. This was all to do with The Market™ and the inherent amazingness of the cars of the time and because everyone with petrol in their blood and gears in their head wanted one. I understand this; nostalgia is a hell of a drug. We buy with our feelings more than anything else, and that is good and proper and right. And when you get into your boyhood dreams (no, not Farrah Fawcett), it's all rainbows and symphonies and love and peace and happiness and all is right with the world and nothing can go wrong.

As a result the Porsche 550 Spyder is worth that $4 million dollars.

But Japanese cars? Who would buy them? There are faster cars out there and cheaper cars out there and they don't have providence and they are boring. And it's a Toyota dammit.

It just doesn't make sense, does it?

Not the way paying $4 million to pretend you're a long dead Hollywood star does. Or a couple million for something with a big V8 buried in American steel does.

Wait.

Wait for it.

No. None of it makes sense, not your V8, not the prancing pony or bristling bull, not even the Spirit of Excellence.

But Toyota is still boring you say. And I say in response, Lamborghini is a tractor maker and the 911 is a glorified Beetle.

Yes, I can logical fallacies by drawing ties between automakers to their non-glorious products as well. ha HA

So you don't like it. You don't understand it. And what are those kids listening to these days anyways?

But there's a generation of car lovers out there that grew up lusting after Type Rs and GTRs and RX-7s (and damn, those Japanese love Rs , even if they can't pronounce it) and have glanced back at 510s, RX-3s, Cosmos, 2000GTs, Z432s and Honda S800s and been hit in the heart by Cupids automotive cousin, The Stig, with his con-rod (or not in the case of RX-7s) of love.

And now they're acting all silly like they're hopped up on molly and you sit, shaking your wise, grey heads at their folly while committing to your own with oblivious glee.

All of this is to say, as automotive enthusiasts can't we all just get along, and if we can't, shut your fucking whore mouth and stop badmouthing my golden dreams on the internet, you asshole.

Have a Cosmo, because I can't afford it and you probably don't think it's worth it.