Jalopmeter can kiss my ass. *EDIT*

"Der Käfer" (Rhy) 11/13/2013 at 08:18 • Filed to: None

2

54

I entered my 2012 volkswagen beetles information into the "jalopmeter" and I was getting positive points but at one point it asked "are you driving a new jetta?" I said "no" then it asked
are you driving a "beetle?" and I said yes AND THE FUCKER INSTANTLY WENT -100 POINTS.

So, who ever made this meter, f*ck you and you can suck it.

*If you dont like that I drive a beetle or dont like beetles, I honestly do not care.*

TurboSloth > Der Käfer 11/13/2013 at 08:19

0

What's the site for the Jalopometer? I'd like to test my ralliart

getchapopcorn > Der Käfer 11/13/2013 at 08:20

7

You should be thanking the creator — you should have lost Jalopnik/oppo privileges.

Der Käfer > TurboSloth 11/13/2013 at 08:20

0

http://www.jalopmeter.com/

Der Käfer > getchapopcorn 11/13/2013 at 08:21

1

Really dude? Fuck you.

Hermann > Der Käfer 11/13/2013 at 08:23

0

Wait. 2012 had two beetles. Is it THIS 2012 beetle?

Or This beetle?

Yowen - not necessarily not spaghetti and meatballs > Der Käfer 11/13/2013 at 08:23

0

lol, deal with it?

Jeff-God-of-Biscuits > Der Käfer 11/13/2013 at 08:24

3

Maybe you can get back some points for the little flower vase on the dash? *trying to keep a straight face*

Dusty Ventures > Der Käfer 11/13/2013 at 08:24

6

Calm down, bud. He's just joking around. Also the Jalopmeter hasn't been updated in years, so when it asks if you're driving a Beetle it's talking about the one that came stock with a flower vase on the dash.

Der Käfer > Hermann 11/13/2013 at 08:24

1

Mine is the bottom one, it is also red like that one too.

CalzoneGolem > getchapopcorn 11/13/2013 at 08:24

1

Seriously GTFAC we don't need this shit here.

Der Käfer > Yowen - not necessarily not spaghetti and meatballs 11/13/2013 at 08:25

0

ok

Hermann > Der Käfer 11/13/2013 at 08:26

5

The Jalopmeter is kind of outdated. The current beetle deserves Jalop cred.

Der Käfer > Jeff-God-of-Biscuits 11/13/2013 at 08:26

0

Maybe if it were an option on my car I would have got it. *trying to keep foot out of your ass*

The Swedish Bandit > Der Käfer 11/13/2013 at 08:26

0

Tested it to see if it was broken. Got 200 points, so I fail to see anything wrong with it...

Der Käfer > Hermann 11/13/2013 at 08:26

2

LOL I'm not really mad, I get this shit everyday... Just wanted to see what I can stur up AS USUAL.

CalzoneGolem > Der Käfer 11/13/2013 at 08:27

0

Those things are always woefully inaccurate and you shouldn't put stock in them. If you love your car, care for it, and hoon it proper then it is as Jalop as can be.

Der Käfer > The Swedish Bandit 11/13/2013 at 08:27

0

That's great

davedave1111 > Der Käfer 11/13/2013 at 08:28

2

Remember, the Jalopmeter measures the car, not the owner, and it measures Jalopness, not whether it's actually a good car. And if it's the original New Beetle we're talking about, it's hard to think of a less Jalop car than a boring Golf made worse with a silly restyle.

Arguably, driving a non-Jalop car and not giving a fuck makes you more of a Jalop than someone with a really Jalop car, though, so who cares?

PS: there's an easy fix, anyway .

Blondude > Der Käfer 11/13/2013 at 08:28

1

The only fix? Turbine engine swap.

Aaron Brown > Der Käfer 11/13/2013 at 08:29

0

Turbo?

Der Käfer > CalzoneGolem 11/13/2013 at 08:29

1

lol I know this, I'm really just messing around.... I mean really, I drive a beetle, I get worse shit than this on the daily BUT I agree with everything you just said.

Be an enthusiast..

Jeff-God-of-Biscuits > Der Käfer 11/13/2013 at 08:30

0

lol, don't blame me, you're the one who bought the Beetle!

Der Käfer > davedave1111 11/13/2013 at 08:30

0

It's a 2012 newest gen.... so its a restyled jetta LOL

Der Käfer > Jeff-God-of-Biscuits 11/13/2013 at 08:33

0

I know I know. I also love it, this is just me starting shit on oppo, gets boring sometimes.

I'm one of the most unconventional car enthusiasts. Everything people hate I LOVE.

Dream cars? Mercedes R63, S63 and................ smart fortwo brabus. Everyone shun me now!

Meatcoma > Der Käfer 11/13/2013 at 08:33

0

You should be mad.... At yourself!

lol jk.

CalzoneGolem > Der Käfer 11/13/2013 at 08:34

0

I used to DD a PT Cruiser. I loved that shit. I was even accepted here.

OneFastPuertoRican > Der Käfer 11/13/2013 at 08:35

0

Tried the Jalopmeter. Scored a 190.

Maybe try adding gullwing or lambo-style doors with that turbine engine swap.

davedave1111 > Der Käfer 11/13/2013 at 08:35

0

Get into a major rear-ender, then do the same for the front. You'll get it down to kei-car sized and that's sure to be worth some points.

Sir Halffast > CalzoneGolem 11/13/2013 at 08:45

0

Pffft. Barely though.

CalzoneGolem > Sir Halffast 11/13/2013 at 08:47

0

It's better than the rest of the world treated me so I'll take it.

ncasolowork2 > Der Käfer 11/13/2013 at 08:54

0

I'm sorry but a Beetle should score poorly on the Jalopometer.

Raphael Orlove > Der Käfer 11/13/2013 at 09:01

0

The guy who made the meter (not the new site, which is great) was good ol' Leaverman

http://jalopnik.com/346367/how-jal…

!!! UNKNOWN CONTENT TYPE !!!

Der Käfer > ncasolowork2 11/13/2013 at 09:01

0

awe shoot

Der Käfer > davedave1111 11/13/2013 at 09:03

0

What If give it gulwing doors?

getchapopcorn > Der Käfer 11/13/2013 at 09:05

0

Hey, man, sorry if you took offense. I wasn't trying to start anything at all. I was just giving you a little friendly ribbing.

getchapopcorn > Der Käfer 11/13/2013 at 09:13

2

TurboSloth > Der Käfer 11/13/2013 at 09:17

0

2009 Ralliart - 96

For some reason, my old ass beater 2000 civic sedan lx that has 106hp (when it was new nearly 14 years ago, though some horses may have escaped) got a 51.

offroadkarter > Der Käfer 11/13/2013 at 09:29

0

you should have lied and said you had a porsche 911, they are practically the same thing

davedave1111 > Der Käfer 11/13/2013 at 09:29

1

Another thing wrong with the Jalopmeter - that would get some extra points, but ought to flush you straight to the deepest circle of hell...

Gamecat235 > Der Käfer 11/13/2013 at 09:44

0

LOL. Just remember, you're not the only one here who has had this complaint. I'm a moderator here and I DD my 2000 2.0L 5MT.

I just laugh it off. Also, yours shouldn't count. The new gen's are awesome.

Also, guess we should buy an RSi or an HPA with the VR6 and a 6sp.

Der Käfer > Gamecat235 11/13/2013 at 09:46

1

Yea I guess, the HPA seems to be the only jalop worthy bug....

shameful

Der Käfer > offroadkarter 11/13/2013 at 09:47

0

lol I get that a lot, "looks like a porsche"

Gamecat235 > Der Käfer 11/13/2013 at 09:47

0

I take it, as I do all of the other ribbing. In stride.

The funny thing is my 15 year old son, and his friends, like it, because they associate it with slug bug.

webmonkees > Der Käfer 11/13/2013 at 09:51

0

Here's a few I'd like to fix.

Jetta:

Do you have turn signal arrows?

Is it a coupe?

New Beetle:

Do you have a flower vase in your dash?

Caminoized:

Factory or DIY? Or list Ute in the body styles.

My range is from 35 to 162 dependent on several of these factors.

Party-vi > Der Käfer 11/13/2013 at 09:55

0

LOLOLOL HAHAHA damn he's just kidding hahaha!!!!!

Der Käfer > Gamecat235 11/13/2013 at 09:57

0

hahaha I really wanted a TDi beetle but I couldnt justify the price increase so I got a 2.5 sound and nav beetle with 18" heritage wheels. I also went from friving a land rover toa vw beetle, very different for me.

Der Käfer > Party-vi 11/13/2013 at 09:57

0

LOLOLOLOLOLOLOL AHAHAHAH k

Party-vi > Der Käfer 11/13/2013 at 10:07

1

:(

*hangs head, shuffles off*

Der Käfer > Party-vi 11/13/2013 at 10:09

1

*helps you scoot along*

PedalHead > Der Käfer 11/13/2013 at 11:58

1

Ha! I just tried it out:

'04 Toyota Sienna= -331 pts! My only quibble is that I think minivans (automatic -300pts) are way more Jalop than any SUV because it means you just don't give a fuck about being cool.

'87 Toyota Truck (rusty old friend that preceded the minivan)= +211

So, I lost 542pts due to the need to fit a second carseat... Thanks kiddos! It's a good thing they're both cute.

Gamecat235 > Der Käfer 11/13/2013 at 12:44

0

S63?

S65 of GTFO. Everyone needs a luxury sedan with a torque rating that puts many duallies to shame.

Der Käfer > Gamecat235 11/13/2013 at 13:15

0

Well, I just can't justify the price increase............. an S63 is more realistic budget wise for me.

Gamecat235 > Der Käfer 11/13/2013 at 13:19

0

But dream big man! Dream big!

Der Käfer > Gamecat235 11/13/2013 at 13:26

1

I always do! ahaha! OR I'd just have the biggest collection of vintage volkswagens.