Exclusive: The Secret Oil Companies Don't Want You To Know

"PRBot II" (prbot2) 11/06/2013 at 22:48 • Filed to: lol cars, satire

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Hitting store shelves in time for the holiday season is this previously unheard of new innovation for hypermiling enthusiasts!

Some companies try to save you fuel with !!!error: Indecipherable SUB-paragraph formatting!!! . But Salt Lake City's newest aftermarket hypermiling company, Bill's Bargain Ultra MPG's, is set to debut their latest offering for 2013, Slip Stream™. According to the company's !!!error: Indecipherable SUB-paragraph formatting!!! , Slip Stream™ can increase your MPG's by:

Reducing your car's drag coefficient ( C d ), allowing your car to glide effortlessly through the air

Raise the operating temperature of your engine by blocking ram air to your radiator, thereby increasing efficiency

Slip Stream™ will be available for purchase later this month with an MSRP of only a low $349 USD. Order yours today!

oldirtybootz > PRBot II 11/06/2013 at 22:56

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Totally ordering this for my girlfriend's 98 Accord!

PRBot II > oldirtybootz 11/06/2013 at 22:58

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It'll work perfectly!

oldirtybootz > PRBot II 11/06/2013 at 23:01

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Sadly enough, this looks in better shape than hers. Well it has more paint anyway.

TheBloody, Oppositelock lives on in our shitposts. > PRBot II 11/06/2013 at 23:02

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What the fuck website did I just read!?!

PRBot II > oldirtybootz 11/06/2013 at 23:03

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Oh man, that's rough.

PRBot II > TheBloody, Oppositelock lives on in our shitposts. 11/06/2013 at 23:04

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A little Easter egg I happened upon thanks to Orlove.

PS9 > PRBot II 11/06/2013 at 23:06

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Oh hell naw. I read that site once, and my brain still hasn't recalibrated. I'm not going back!

PRBot II > PS9 11/06/2013 at 23:08

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But it's pure truth! Join us... join usssssssssss.

PS9 > oldirtybootz 11/06/2013 at 23:09

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98 Accords and the battle tanks of the commuter world. No matter how many hits they take, they just don't go down. Instead, they just circulate your local ring of buy-here-pay-heres until the end of time.

oldirtybootz > PS9 11/06/2013 at 23:14

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We just need a year out of the thing. I have it on a stricter minutes restriction than Amar'e Stoudemire. She uses it for school and work and I drive everywhere else. It's a V6 so the tranny is slipping pretty bad, but those trannys will slip forever. My friend had a 95 4cyl coupe and the damn thing was ready for the junkyard half way through his ownership. He sold it to another friend and somehow it's still kicking. It just wont die. Our other friend's Cavlier is the same way.

If only EssExTee could be so grossly incandescent > PRBot II 11/06/2013 at 23:26

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Grill blocks actually do provide gas mileage increase. The stock grill is sized to be able to keep the engine cool under extreme conditions, like say towing something up a mountain at high altitude, so on many cars you can actually block off most of the grill and see mileage gains with little to no effect on cooling.

PRBot II > If only EssExTee could be so grossly incandescent 11/06/2013 at 23:34

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Sad to say I actually had to research this issue a little when writing the post. So yeah, I agree with you completely.

But I still wanted to make a joke out of the Accord covered in Bondo :/

SteyrTMP > If only EssExTee could be so grossly incandescent 11/07/2013 at 02:55

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Talk to this guy.

MAX

His blog is all screwed up on the host website, don't know what their issue is, but he has posts just about intake size and the mathematics going with it.

100mpg for under 10k? Sounds decent.

(he's a friend of mine, the scuttle on the Seven, as well as the front suspension came from his store)

JEM > SteyrTMP 11/07/2013 at 06:19

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Whoa that's fantastic. You should do a whole post on that MAX car alone!

XJDano > PRBot II 11/07/2013 at 16:12

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a lot of words I didn't read, but I didn't see the clearance section with the Plastic grill block, or the lawn edging air dam? Yes my car, yes it works.

Although the tape didn't hold too well I went to pool noodles later, when I modified to fit snug, then after a year the shrank form sun & UV or whatever, plus I was loosing coolant from a small o-ring I couldn't find until I swapped the transmission,

I also tried the seal the gaps via KICKASS mask for a 100 mile commute, it didn't seem to be awesome as it looked.

I am also in the middle of modifying the wipers like the porsche cup cars to stay in the middle then wipe side to side, I have figured out what I need to do, but need a junkyard run to complete it.

PRBot II > XJDano 11/07/2013 at 16:18

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Woah, that's awesome... about how many MPG's do you get?

XJDano > PRBot II 11/07/2013 at 17:04

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I was at 42 consistently this summer. I still have more plans for plexiglas grill block with fog lights on corners, think bug eye wrx or evo3, 13" pizza pan wheel covers like the salt flat racers, rear wheel skirts like '50s cars, and more lawn edging for some side skirts.

I think I should be getting more mpg, but 60 mph on freeway is hard to maintain. also 251K on odometer, so its a tired motor that leaks some oil.

all in all, not too bad for a $800 beater that I ended up falling in love with.

PRBot II > XJDano 11/07/2013 at 17:14

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That's pretty impressive. My father just leased a new Hyundai Elantra coupe, and when he's holding 60mph on the highway in "eco mode" he maxes out around 42 mpg or so. But like you said, 60 on the highway is hard to maintain, so he typically gets about 35 - 38 mpg highway.

Not bad for $800, man. Not bad at all.