"desertdog5051" (desertdog5051)
11/05/2013 at 20:33 • Filed to: None
0
35|
"desertdog5051" (desertdog5051)
11/05/2013 at 20:33 • Filed to: None | 0
| 35 |
She got home and I was cooking. She wanted to use part of the stove. No, problem for me. When the timer went off and I moved to the stove to turn the chicken, that was browning, She said that I was taking over and should give her some room. I did not feel that I was taking her room. I made a comment that females want to be in charge of everything. This was all in jest. I was simply taking care of the task that was at hand. Did I handle this badly?
Anon
> desertdog5051
11/05/2013 at 20:34 |
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yes, I think you would of been fine if you refrained from the "Females want to be in control of everything comment."
BJ
> desertdog5051
11/05/2013 at 20:36 |
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Umm, only you know if you handled it badly - none of us know your partner. Good luck with that!
I'm not touching that one!
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desertdog5051
> Anon
11/05/2013 at 20:36 |
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Thanks, I probably screwed up.
$kaycog
> desertdog5051
11/05/2013 at 20:36 |
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If she knew you were in jest with that comment, then I don't think you handled it badly. She might have been a little out of line by saying that you were taking over, unless she was kidding. Just kiss and make up.
Cajun Ginger
> desertdog5051
11/05/2013 at 20:40 |
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Ok. Here goes. The females want to be in charge of everything. Not funny.
Who started the chicken? If you, totally your thing to flip it. If her, maybe next time a "hey, want me to flip that for you?"
On the other hand in our house lots of kids and dogs so its easy to get side tracked so whomever catches something before the smoke detector goes off takes care of it.
As to whether it was handled poorly, is she mad? That will answer that question.
TheBloody, Oppositelock lives on in our shitposts.
> desertdog5051
11/05/2013 at 20:40 |
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Dude just admit you're wrong, bitches love that...
But seriously you might have dun goofed.
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desertdog5051
> BJ
11/05/2013 at 20:41 |
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Well sometimes she can be a little sensitive. I guess I should have taken that into account. Normally, we just joke about things like that.
deekster_caddy
> $kaycog
11/05/2013 at 20:44 |
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edit - meant to reply to desertdog directly
Leadbull
> desertdog5051
11/05/2013 at 20:44 |
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You were right; repeat the statement.
(Before you take my advice, you should be aware that I don't have a girlfriend)
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$kaycog
> deekster_caddy
11/05/2013 at 20:45 |
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You're exactly right. It also depends on what time of the month it is.
Supreme Kiwi Zorro
> desertdog5051
11/05/2013 at 20:45 |
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* slaps across Pete's face * Go back and apologise.
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deekster_caddy
> desertdog5051
11/05/2013 at 20:46 |
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It all depends on her personality. Some women can take that kind of jest/jab in stride and will fire right back with "what doghouse did you build this afternoon? Cuz that's where you are gonna sleep" right before something else better than food starts and all the food burns... Other women get highly insulted and you actually ARE sleeping in the doghouse... It can also depend on the delivery of a line like that.
But you should know her personality a bit better before firing off such a jab.
Sorry, I'm not a female, just... experienced! The part where the food burns is usually pretty fun.
deadpedal
> desertdog5051
11/05/2013 at 20:47 |
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Yes.
Because you are here second guessing.
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deekster_caddy
> $kaycog
11/05/2013 at 20:47 |
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oops now I made a mess of the conversation! Wish there was a 'delete post' button.
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desertdog5051
> Cajun Ginger
11/05/2013 at 20:49 |
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I started the chicken.
No kids or inside pets.
Is she mad? Maybe that is where I screwed up and did not assess the situation, since she had just got home. Could have been a bad day. She is a high school teacher.
TheOnelectronic
> desertdog5051
11/05/2013 at 20:51 |
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To be clear, the chicken you turned was the one she was making? On the stove?
If so, I can see where she might be bothered. I would agree with $kay; as long as she realized it was in jest, and didn't take offense, you're fine. If she did take offense, I'd recommend an apology and explanantion.
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$kaycog
> deekster_caddy
11/05/2013 at 20:51 |
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LOL! I've done that before too. At least, we're among friends. :D
davedave1111
> desertdog5051
11/05/2013 at 20:52 |
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She ... Did I handle this badly?
When you cut out the irrelevant part, the answer is obvious. Of course you did. This is why husbands have sheds. It gives them somewhere to go when just being there at all is what's wrong, and in extremity, somewhere to sleep.
This marital advice was brought to you courtesy of Ealing comedies.
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desertdog5051
> $kaycog
11/05/2013 at 20:57 |
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We normally do understand when we jest. She had just got home from work and it may have been a tough day. (she is a school teacher) Time of month is not a factor anymore. Surgery last year. No kiss and make up. We are housemates and have been for 15 years. I think it was just bad timing on my part with a lack of perception. But, thanks, I needed a female perspective.
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Cajun Ginger
> desertdog5051
11/05/2013 at 20:57 |
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Well then go talk to her. :) Maybe ask her if you can fix her a drink, or get her a glass of water, whichever is more her thing.
Like how was your day sort of stuff.
Or if she's been surrounded by teenagers ask her if she needs some quiet alone time.
And everyone puts their foot in their mouth sometimes. I usually wear men's motorcycle boots so it's quite unpleasant. (Men's are cheaper than women's)
Mr. Ontop, No Strokes, No Smokes...Goes Fast.
> desertdog5051
11/05/2013 at 20:58 |
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Married old guy here. We have a house rule that if one of us is cooking, the other should just steer clear of the kitchen. It just prevents arguments before they start.
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desertdog5051
> Cajun Ginger
11/05/2013 at 21:03 |
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Thanks, Ginger. (and now I know what to have for lunch tomorrow. Have not had Cajun in a while.) None of it will be as good as I had in Loosiana last summer.
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Cajun Ginger
> desertdog5051
11/05/2013 at 21:04 |
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This Cajun is not on the menu. ;)
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desertdog5051
> TheOnelectronic
11/05/2013 at 21:12 |
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It was chicken I had started about 10 minutes before she got home. I don't think she took it in jest, though many times we do joke just like it.
I think it was my screw up by not assessing the situation better.
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desertdog5051
> deekster_caddy
11/05/2013 at 21:15 |
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Yeah, I think I just totally missed this one and it is my fault. Thanks.
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desertdog5051
> Supreme Kiwi Zorro
11/05/2013 at 21:18 |
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Thanks, Zorro. We will over my coffee and her tea in the morning. She already told me to let her be for a while. That tells me she needs some time and space.
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desertdog5051
> Cajun Ginger
11/05/2013 at 21:21 |
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To quote George Thorogood, "Now you funny, too."
PatBateman
> desertdog5051
11/05/2013 at 21:40 |
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I know you have already gotten the answers you need, but you haven't gotten this one:
You opened your mouth. You were in the wrong when you did so. Apologize in the morning or, if she's still awake, give her chocolate right now and tell her you're sorry. I have been married for over ten years, with her for 15. I speak from experience.
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desertdog5051
> PatBateman
11/05/2013 at 21:46 |
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Thanks, Pat, No chocolate to give her tonight. Will buy some good stuff manana. We generally do best in the am over my coffee and her tea. (which I will make for her before she gets up.
getchapopcorn
> Cajun Ginger
11/05/2013 at 22:01 |
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replied to wrong person, sorry!
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getchapopcorn
> desertdog5051
11/05/2013 at 22:03 |
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This is going to sound bad, but you handled it wrong if you want to have sex tonight and you did and will have handled it right if you want to make a point about how taking out stress from situations outside the relationship on you is not ok. That is not to say that it doesn't happen, everybody does it, but it's not acceptable and people need to realize when they're doing it and apologize.
Personally, what I do is make a few notes about what I want to say, have a nice evening, the sex, and then turn on the lights and bring it up. Just make sure that you do it in a nice, calm, adult manner, but also make sure that if your partner is upset (as opposed to just frustrated/angry/stressed) about something from outside the relationship then that needs to take precedent and 'making the point' can wait till tomorrow.
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desertdog5051
> getchapopcorn
11/05/2013 at 23:58 |
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Good points made. I really appreciate it.
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Supreme Kiwi Zorro
> desertdog5051
11/06/2013 at 00:03 |
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Well I can tell you're under a lot of stress about being out of job, and you shouldn't be taking it out on your roommate because she didn't do anything. Let's not forget she's paying half of the bills (and rent?). The last thing you want her to do is moving out because of your attitude towards her. She's probably stressed out about you being out of job as well.
Let's calm down, apologise to her, explain the situation about your insurance provider leaving Arizona (this is a serious matter, so, don't use "Thanks Obama!" reference), and then tell her your "financial cushion" plans.
Until tomorrow morning, I suggest you do something positive to refreshen your mind. * says with German accent * I order you to go and bake something.
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desertdog5051
> Supreme Kiwi Zorro
11/06/2013 at 00:21 |
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Good advice Zorro. I' sure there was a little stress induced due to my employment situation. It is not to our mutual benefit to dwell on it or me to use it to be combative, even if I do not intend to. We have spoken about the ramifications of the coming possibility of me having to seek other work so I guess I need to take out my frustrations in a different direction. Why hurt the folks that care about you and you care about. Thanks, my friend. FYI, It's New Mexico, not Arizona, but close enough.
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Supreme Kiwi Zorro
> desertdog5051
11/06/2013 at 00:34 |
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Stress and anger are very powerful motivations in the mind of yours. They can take over, causing you to say something mean unintentionally. If you feel combative all of a sudden, keep your distance from people who cares and loves you, and do something without emotionally and/or physically harming someone like beating the crap out of a punching bag (Ivan used this method sometimes and it worked every time). You'll feel a lot better afterwards. :)
Good luck with your roommate tomorrow. Sweet dreams, cheers!
P.S. Why don't you participate in my Good Night Oppo post shortly? I miss having you commenting on my Good Night Oppo posts.