"PS9" (PS9)
10/29/2013 at 18:02 • Filed to: viper viper viper viper viper viper
9
18|
"PS9" (PS9)
10/29/2013 at 18:02 • Filed to: viper viper viper viper viper viper | 9
| 18 |
Hey fellow Jalops! It occured to me today that a '94 Viper can be had for fully loaded camry money now. That's...not a lot. I'm trying to come up with reasons to pick the Camry over the Viper and have come up short. Here's what I got so far;
Don't pick the Camry. Pick the Viper.
Wife doesn't like it? Divorce her, and marry the Viper.
No Trunk Space? Sell that useless shit until you have enough to fit in the Viper.
No room for the kids? Sell them to foxconn, so you can drive the Viper, so they can make PS4s for you to buy, so you can virtually drive the Viper.
No gas money? Whore yourself out to pay for fueling the Viper.
No room for a second vehicle? Destroy (yes, destroy, not sell) you other vehicles until you're left with the Viper.
Neighbors complain about Viper noise? Kill them in their sleep so you can continue to drive the Viper.
Police pull you over for murder questioning? Don't stop. Run away in the Viper.
Can't get away? End the police chase spectacularly by wrecking the Viper.
When you get to arrangement, steal the judge's Viper.
You see? No matter what I type it keeps happening. Viper.
Casper
> PS9
10/29/2013 at 18:05 |
|
The real outcome of most people buying a Viper:
Drive down to the store to show it off.
Wrap it around a telephone pole trying to show off.
Get the insurance write off and buy a Camry.
I have seen 5 people buy Vipers.... one was sold pre-wreck. They should have paid for driving lessons first and bought Miatas in the meantime.
BlazinAce - Doctor of Internal Combustion
> PS9
10/29/2013 at 18:09 |
|
If I could afford either, I'd totally take the Viper. I'm still in that stage of life where I don't need a lot doors, seats and cargo space.
I'd have to stop giving free rides though, which is ironic because even more people would want free rides.
Just4GP
> Casper
10/29/2013 at 18:09 |
|
That's pretty much what happened to a buddy's Viper. The reason we don't see many around is because the are to easily totaled. He wasn't being an asshat driver when it happened either.
|
Casper
> Just4GP
10/29/2013 at 18:12 |
|
I have driven a couple and they are not easy to drive. Especially the old ones. The old ones made the driver sit at an angle due to the large transmission tunnel and made working the pedals difficult. They all had far more torque than tire capacity and even a light rain would make you stress out. That was all compounded by their massive weight... so catching a slide was rare if you weren't really prepared. Most people would try to catch it and induce snap oversteer the other direction and eat a pole.
TheOnelectronic
> PS9
10/29/2013 at 18:17 |
|
Camrys won't give you that sexy "Viper scar" on your inner calf.
|
Just4GP
> Casper
10/29/2013 at 18:17 |
|
Yeah, his was a 1st gen. It sat on a turntable in a Vegas casino for 2+ years as the jack pot prize. Every time someone won it, they opted for the cash instead. The casino eventually sold it back to the dealer who then called up my buddy and offered it for a price he couldn't turn down.
dropthatclutch
> PS9
10/29/2013 at 18:21 |
|
...and always remember that you can sleep in your Viper, but you can't drive your house.
|
PS9
> PS9
10/29/2013 at 18:24 |
|
Hmm....Nope. Still getting the Viper.
Sn210
> PS9
10/29/2013 at 18:32 |
|
'94 is the one to get. No AC in the 92-93 models. I understand the cabin gets pretty hot. It's in my bucket list.
|
PS9
> Casper
10/29/2013 at 18:33 |
|
Yep, the Viper is well know in the automotive world as the axe murderer on four wheels. It's got no issue snapping you/your friends/everyone else on the track's neck if you take it beyond the limit and have no skill at all to compensate. Sometimes, even if your skills can compensate, they won't be enough and you will still get axed...
tl;dr-> The Camry is safe and non-lethal. That makes it boring, so get the Viper.
Takuro Spirit
> PS9
10/29/2013 at 18:34 |
|
The Dodge dealer I worked for would tell a story every now and then about a particular salesman that wanted to impress his date one night, so he took the keys to the Viper on the showroom floor.
I'm sure she was impressed, and the night must have gone well, but on his way BACK to the dealership, with a bit of alcohol in his system, he passed a cop who noticed dealer plates on a Viper that was out at 2AM, and decided to see if anything fishy was afoot.
It was.
So the salesman tried to outrun the cops. No word on how far he got, but at the end he ended up missing a turn and taking the car off-road. Vipers don't like off-road. Between the wheel, suspension, and underbody damage, the car was a write-off.
When I worked there, the guy was still in jail, paying off restitution to the dealer for the cost of the car. I also got my first calf burn from one at that dealership, and made the mistake of leaning on the sill of one as I went to put it on the hoist for an oil change. Toasted the palm a bit.
|
PS9
> Takuro Spirit
10/29/2013 at 18:36 |
|
Hehe that story should be a mission in GTA...except the going to jail part, lol.
Satoshi "Zipang" Katsura
> Casper
10/29/2013 at 20:53 |
|
... Welp, if I ever obtain a Viper, speed limit!
|
Casper
> Satoshi "Zipang" Katsura
10/29/2013 at 21:24 |
|
Actually, all the accidents I have personally seen have been at under the speed limit. They have all been due to excessive displays of power... as the autocross judges would say.
Goshen, formerly Darkcode
> Sn210
10/31/2013 at 17:13 |
|
It's a roadster, why do you need AC?
xxxxxx
> TheOnelectronic
11/02/2013 at 22:39 |
|
Please elaborate.
|
TheOnelectronic
> xxxxxx
11/03/2013 at 18:36 |
|
The Viper's side exhaust (much like the Shelby Cobra before it) is infamous for burning the shit out of your leg as you step out, if you're not careful.
|
xxxxxx
> TheOnelectronic
11/03/2013 at 18:56 |
|
haha I think that is actually pretty cool
would make a hell of a story