Why aren't you playing GTA online?

"area man" (hurrburgring)
10/25/2013 at 16:04 • Filed to: Grand Theft Auto

Obviously, the launch was a disaster. We were so excited - so very excited - but then we were so disappointed when it wouldn't connect. And then we were so angry when our characters and personal vehicles disappeared into the ether, and so frustrated when that pair of jackasses stalked us through multiple lobbies for over an hour. But a month has passed, so where are we now in the pantheon of "so ____" emotions?

If you're like me, somewhere around so addicted . It's bad - not like give-up-on-hygiene-because-fuck-the-outdoors bad - but bad enough that it's been a full month without one of my "In Plain Sight" posts, I haven't watched a single new episode of television this fall, and what's a book again?

The connection issues are almost completely gone. Gameplay glitches are being smoothed out. It's true that freemode can be a bit, um, murderous. But honestly, I've only had a couple instances where simply driving past someone devolved into an hour of revenge-killing. If you approach people slowly and honk your horn and flash your lights, 9/10 times they'll get in your car and POOF! You have a new friend.

Truthfully, the world of GTA Online has so much potential, potential I believe could be brought out by the presence of more Opponauts. Here's a quick story....

Last week I was dicking around in freemode, exploring parts of the map I'd only breezed through on a mission before. Then I noticed that someone named Mortal_Light, a member of the Oppo crew ( Grand Theft Oppo ), way out in the gorge near the military base. I wasn't too far, and he appeared to be on foot, so I cruised over, picked him up, and started the journey back to Sandy Shores.

I should mention that I had a bounty on my head the whole time, but thankfully, Mortal_Light didn't kill me! The cops actually did, because I couldn't resist shooting out a few tires on the highway, and one thing led to another... but when I respawned near Trevor's runway (and Mortal_Light took off on his own), I noticed three players on the map closing in fast on me. Bounty hunters.

I was in the middle of the desert, so no cover to be found. I hid behind a ridge and managed to pick two of them off as they drove too close, but they respawned even closer and the bullets started to fly. I was down to my last sliver of health when BAM! this bullet-riddled police SUV comes flying over the ridge, landing directly between me and my attackers - piloted by none other than Mortal_Light. I hopped in and was spirited away. Thank you for that.

This was not planned - I had no idea he was still nearby, and he had no idea how perfect his timing was - making it one of the few times I feel like the game has lived up the idea that you're just a little dab of cooperation away from non-stop awesome action-movie scenes.

Also, that picture up top is neither my character nor my garage. It's nice, if a little predictable, but there aren't enough steelie-looking wheels for my taste. So what are you waiting for? Let's go crazy.

DISCUSSION (44)

Baskingshark > area man
10/25/2013 at 16:09

I'm a busy guy, full time job, two kids, etc. So I don't have that much free time. That being said I really want to wrap up the single payer story before getting involved with online play. I have gone as far as making a character, doing the first race and mission, then driving around a bit. That's pretty much it.

area man > Baskingshark
10/25/2013 at 16:11

Fair enough. I hope it didn't sound like I was saying this is more important than raising children or anything like that.

I also waited until I finished the story, but, kidless millenial here...

Baskingshark > area man
10/25/2013 at 16:12

Trust me, there are many times I wish they would go to sleep on time, so I could get my GTA on haha

Dukie - Jalopnik Emergency Management Asshole > area man
10/25/2013 at 16:16

I LOVE Bounty Hunting. I've got a decent system down. Myself, my brother-in-law, and a friend snag a helicopter, then go after the poor SOB with the bounty on their head. One flies, the other two sit in the rear doors and fire away.

Also, survival missions have a pretty sweet payout for your time. $20K for surviving all 10 waves, $14,400 for surviving 9 waves, etc.

360 - TopSecretSkwerl

Bob Loblaw Made Me Make a Phoney Phone Call to Edward Rooney > area man
10/25/2013 at 16:17

I need to start hopping online more. Just finished the first race yesterday.

quarterlifecrisis > area man
10/25/2013 at 16:19

Grand Theft Oppo you say....just bought the game a week and a half ago, and haven't touched online yet. Staying in tonight so I can leave pre 0600 tomorrow to meet some other Vette guys to go for a cruise on some twisty roads, this may be a good way to kill some time this evening.

Dailygaraged > area man
10/25/2013 at 16:19

I get kicked or the connection times out after about 10 minutes of online play.... I've given up trying to get online....not sure if its the older 360 model or my Internet connection, but all other games run fine.

area man > Dukie - Jalopnik Emergency Management Asshole
10/25/2013 at 16:20

That is a lot! I usually play in the mornings because of my work schedule, which means I'm stuck with a bunch of little French kids who just got out of school... which limits the cooperation on those missions as you might imagine. I've only gotten to 5.

One time when I was bountied I had a guy in a regular chopper and a guy in the Cargobob chasing me at the same time. Cargobob eventually squished me, but it was so epic I couldn't even be mad.

area man > quarterlifecrisis
10/25/2013 at 16:21

Join on the social club website! There's usually one or two of us playing at a given time.

area man > quarterlifecrisis
10/25/2013 at 16:21

Also your life sounds awesome.

area man > Dailygaraged
10/25/2013 at 16:22

I'm sorry to hear that... never had a problem on my (old) PS3. It'd be well worth it to get that solved.

area man > Bob Loblaw Made Me Make a Phoney Phone Call to Edward Rooney
10/25/2013 at 16:24

Yeah you do! Here's some advice on future races - hang back for the first half lap/few checkpoints while all the ten-year-olds try to pit each other right away, then speed past the wreckage. If you don't fuck up the rest of the way you're basically guaranteed a 1-3 finish.

quarterlifecrisis > area man
10/25/2013 at 16:24

Trust me, it's not that great. New area (700 miles from home) and don't really know anyone. Staying in has happened a lot as of late.

area man > quarterlifecrisis
10/25/2013 at 16:25

Well Vette guys on twisty roads sounds like a good (great) place to start.

quarterlifecrisis > area man
10/25/2013 at 16:25

Also, every time I see your B Body I get my hopes up for an old Mopar B Body (we've got a couple 68 Dodges) and then I get really let down.

Yowen - not necessarily not spaghetti and meatballs > area man
10/25/2013 at 16:26

I don't have an xbox or ps3, I am tempted to get one... *goes to craigslist*

is $200 good for an xbox with gta 4 + 5?

Ilike_cougars > area man
10/25/2013 at 16:26

Grand Theft Oppo you say? I think I may have to join..

quarterlifecrisis > area man
10/25/2013 at 16:26

There is that...

area man > quarterlifecrisis
10/25/2013 at 16:27

Ah well, if you're talking about my avatar I've got a hard-on for Caprices so that's probably not going to change.

Bob Loblaw Made Me Make a Phoney Phone Call to Edward Rooney > area man
10/25/2013 at 16:27

I got second in my first race, but I would have had first well in the bag if I had the foresight to do as you said. I got taken out while I was in first and wound up flying off down into a highway canyon. Apparently everyone else wound up on the highway, too, because I was able to recover

Crocket Bernet > area man
10/25/2013 at 16:27

Ah, you assume im not playing GTA online you assumed wrong.

area man > Ilike_cougars
10/25/2013 at 16:27

Social Club, look us up!

area man > Yowen - not necessarily not spaghetti and meatballs
10/25/2013 at 16:29

$200 for an xbox with GTA4+5 is possibly stolen, probably broken somehow. Then again, sometimes you just need a quick $200 in life...

area man > Crocket Bernet
10/25/2013 at 16:29

On PS3?

area man > Bob Loblaw Made Me Make a Phoney Phone Call to Edward Rooney
10/25/2013 at 16:31

It's the worst when you're pitted on the last half lap. It's just the most obvious display of being a sore loser. Pass me with skill or don't pass me.

Yowen - not necessarily not spaghetti and meatballs > area man
10/25/2013 at 16:35

hmm... Further searching resulted in even cheaper ones. I do much prefer playing with a keyboard + mouse, which is why I usually hold out for the PC version. But... I've also wanted to play the Forza series.

Crocket Bernet > area man
10/25/2013 at 16:38

Nope xbox.

area man > Yowen - not necessarily not spaghetti and meatballs
10/25/2013 at 16:52

I've been meaning to buy a used xbox on the cheap strictly to play Forza.

area man > Crocket Bernet
10/25/2013 at 16:52

Well damn.

TurboSloth > area man
10/25/2013 at 17:16

Well, I'm not playing it right now, only because I got labeled a bad sport for destroying peoples cars too often.

area man > TurboSloth
10/25/2013 at 17:40

That to me is the one of the biggest problems with the good/bad sport system. I had these two dicks (see the intro) kill me twice in a row seconds after spawning by running me over, so when I spawned in a place where I could take them out I did so. I then destroyed the customized car they were in, because fuck you for running me over as I spawn.

Now I'm a bad sport and out $8 grand?? Kinda fucked up.

Zipppy, Mazdurp builder, Probeski owner and former ricerboy > area man
10/25/2013 at 17:40

I'm not on GTA V: Online due to me waiting for the PC version.

pdthedeuce > area man
10/25/2013 at 17:47

I've been playing a lot lately , but have yet to see another Grand Theft Oppo crew member .

area man > pdthedeuce
10/25/2013 at 17:53

What time do you normally play? I've been placed into a free-roam world with another Oppo member maybe 3-4 times, but there's usually at least one other member online doing some task and I'm too impatient to spectate and wait to join up with them.

If you're already in the crew, I'd suggest going through all the member profile pages on Social Club for the PSN IDs and friend them fo real. That way as soon as you turn the system on you know whether another Opponaut is playing.

area man > Zipppy, Mazdurp builder, Probeski owner and former ricerboy
10/25/2013 at 17:54

I'm anticipating being jealous of ALL the mods.

pdthedeuce > area man
10/25/2013 at 17:56

I forgot to mention ...360 . usually after 10 pm central .

area man > pdthedeuce
10/25/2013 at 18:05

Ah well, I can't help you there. I'm pretty sure Grand Theft Oppo is supposed to be for PS3 players and there's another Oppo crew for Xbox.

pdthedeuce > area man
10/25/2013 at 18:06

Grand Theft Oppo on xbox has 45 members , I think . regardless I am a member of Grand Theft Oppo and I am on 360 .

area man > pdthedeuce
10/25/2013 at 18:13

My mistake - I think people intended to set up different crews for each system, but everyone ended up in Grand Theft Oppo - seems to be a healthy mix of both systems represented. Too bad you can't play cross-platform.

pdthedeuce > area man
10/25/2013 at 18:16

yeah , that is too bad . how can you tell who's on what platform , i'm on Social club right now and I can't tell .

TheD0k_2many toys 2little time > area man
10/25/2013 at 19:12

I do not own the game. That is why.

NoahthePorscheGuy > area man
10/26/2013 at 17:46

I just joined GTO. :D

area man > NoahthePorscheGuy
10/26/2013 at 20:18

What system?

area man > pdthedeuce
10/26/2013 at 20:19

I think you just have to go through each members profile to see what system they've linked their account to. Kind of silly.