"getchapopcorn" (getchapopcorn) 10/17/2013 at 23:30 • Filed to: puns. Puns. PUNS.

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I'm feeling punny, Oppo. What are your favorite puns (no pun intended)?

POD > getchapopcorn 10/17/2013 at 23:35

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Why did the chef go to jail?

getchapopcorn > POD 10/17/2013 at 23:41

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?

POD > getchapopcorn 10/17/2013 at 23:49

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There once was this boy named Johnny, and all he wanted to do was be a professional diver. Even at an early age Johnny could dive. By 10, he could do a perfect swan dive, by 12, he was doing 1 1/2 pikes.

When Johnny went to high school he found out there was a diving club, but sadly for Johnny, his family was too poor, and all Johnny could do was cliff dive at the lake off the freeway. But that's OK, Johnny was used to hardships.

Well one afternoon Johnny was diving at the lake off the freeway when the coach of the diving club drove by. Johnny did a perfect triple flip dive with no splash. The coach was stunned, stopped his car and immediately asked Johnny to join the team. Johnny polity declined stating that his family was too poor to even buy him a proper suit. The coach stated that he had an extra suit, it had a bit of a hole in the thigh, but it was Johnny's if he wanted it. Johnny was ecstatic and said:

"Great coach! Don't worry about the hole, I'm used to hardships."

Over the following months Johnny dominated the diving meets, but unfortunately, the hole in his suit kept getting bigger. Johnny was undaunted though, he really was used to hardships.

When the national competition rolled around, the divers were to dive off the Golden Gate Bridge. All the other divers were too afraid to participate, but not Johnny. All the hardships and trial in his life made him ready to face this challenge.

Johnny stepped to the edge and jumped off. Spinning, flipping, twisting, showing a veritable ballet of diving mastery. Flying every closer to the water below, lining up for the perfect dive when... TUGBOAT.

... but that's OK, Johnny's used to Hard Ships!

POD > getchapopcorn 10/17/2013 at 23:51

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He beat his eggs and whipped his cream.

My92SSEisn'taTardis > POD 10/18/2013 at 01:32

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*groan*

and yet i still lol'd a little

BiTurbo228 - Dr Frankenstein of Spitfires > getchapopcorn 10/18/2013 at 03:32

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In 2009, David and Victoria Beckham got married. As wedding presents, they bought 'wedding thrones' for each other, which they put in the massive conservatory of their mansion (named Beckingham Palace).

The satirical news radio broadcast 'The Now Show' (which is excellent btw) reported it as such:

'People who live in crass houses, shouldn't stow thrones'.

Now that's a pun :)

911e46z06 > getchapopcorn 10/18/2013 at 03:57

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Sir Francis Drake circumcised the world with a 100 foot clipper.