Friend sent this too me, probably in the top 10 of craigslist adds

"TheBloody, Oppositelock lives on in our shitposts." (thebloody)
10/11/2013 at 10:56 • Filed to: Craigslist, NPOCP

And it seems he's a fellow Jalop which is even better.

http://enid.craigslist.org/cto/4119280944…

DISCUSSION (18)

MonkeePuzzle > TheBloody, Oppositelock lives on in our shitposts.
10/11/2013 at 10:58

well written, and all the pics are in in teh dirt, pretty win

Kinja'd!!!

dogisbadob > TheBloody, Oppositelock lives on in our shitposts.
10/11/2013 at 11:03

Let's see if he posts itt

What are candy-assed stitched-pocket jeans?

This should go on NPOCP!

Meatcoma > TheBloody, Oppositelock lives on in our shitposts.
10/11/2013 at 11:05

Man, if I was even remotely close I'd go look at it just for a beer with that guy.

Demon-Xanth knows how to operate a street. > TheBloody, Oppositelock lives on in our shitposts.
10/11/2013 at 11:05

Copied for posterity:

1997 Jeep Cherokee (XJ)
220K Miles
4.0 L in-line 6
4WD
AUTOMATIC Transmission
Bright Red
Straight Stock
Crank Windows, no cruise, no tilt, no delay wiper, no nonsense
POWER MIRRORS! Woo Hoo!

$1750

Here's the deal, kids:
This is a Jeep Cherokee. This is not a luxury SUV, or a maintenance-free disposable import. It has solid front axles, wind noise, and character.
It's a Jeep. It rides like a Jeep. It drives like a Jeep. All of these are GOOD things.
It is not new, it is not pristine, it is used. This will be apparent in the pictures.

If you do not own a toolbox, have never changed your own oil, and are scared of firearms: THIS VEHICLE IS NOT FOR YOU.
If you have been posting on facebook all about how excited you are for pumpkin latte season: THIS VEHICLE IS NOT FOR YOU.
If you get offended easy and often, whine to your co-workers, and bitch a lot: THIS VEHICLE IS NOT FOR YOU.
If you feel you are owed anything in the world & have a bullshit job where you fail to produce: THIS VEHICLE IS NOT FOR YOU.
If you own a bieber album, white oakleys, affliction t-shirts, or those candy-assed stitched-pocket jeans: THIS VEHICLE IS NOT FOR YOU.
If you consider the 2nd Amendment an anachronistic relic and have never owned a firearm: THIS VEHICLE IS NOT FOR YOU.

If, however, you have BALLS OF STEEL and consider adverse weather an excuse to do stupid shit: THIS IS YOUR JEEP.
Do you laugh at danger, and tempt fate?
Have you ever uttered the words, "Hold my beer and watch this ..."?
While bored at work do you pick targets at random and think, "I could hit that from here with the .22 ..."?
Have any of your friends quit hanging out because you were too much fun?
Do you have the number of a friend with cash memorized for bail?
When you pass an abandoned flatbed farm truck along a fenceline do you consider taking on another project?
Is your ol' lady really sick of the random piles of parts, greasy footprints, and empty beer bottles in the garage?
-could you not care less?
Do you have Jalopnik saved on your laptop AND smartphone?
Do you own a service manual for every vehicle you ever owned?
Do you still miss your first ride?
Can you carry on a two hour conversation discussing tools, scars, and hi-lift jacks?
Remember when tool companies had the balls to put half-naked beauty queens on their calendars?
Do you consider the Prius an abominable affront to the Gods of displacement, torque, and All Mighty Internal Combustion?

If you answered in the affirmative to the preceding: THIS IS YOUR JEEP.

DETAILS:
-I am the second owner. First owner barely got it dirty and engaged the front axles once.
-I have remedied this excessive caretaking with muddy roads and a pile of fun.
-The motor uses a little oil. How much? I don't know, I'm not collecting statistical analysis points.
I check the oil, I fill the oil, I drive. Not enough to bother me.
-It leaks a little oil. How much? Not enough for me to care. It has 220,000 miles, Poindexter!
If you have a vehicle with 220K NOT leaking or burning oil, it's empty!
-Rear bumper has a big-ass crease in it. I dented it backing into a concrete pole. Sober.
We drove away giggling, for the record. Haven't fixed it.
-Driver's side door was caught by the wind, whipped forward, got into the LF quarter panel.
-Radiator has a small leak. Pinhole. I can replace the radiator or you can. Really doesn't matter
A new radiator and hoses will run $145. If you don't want to replace them I will.
Add $250 to the price of vehicle. This includes radiator, hoses, and labor (beer). A freaking bargain.
-The badass little 4.0L bullet-proof in-line six starts and runs like the proverbial champ.
-Tranny and 4WD operate perfectly
-Tires will need replaced in a couple thousand miles. I haven't upgraded because I had plans:
Had planned a small lift, upgrade to 17" Wrangler wheels, and more aggressive tires.
Life got in the way - it ain't happening.
-Zombie stickers on the right rear window stay. My daughter's idea, take it up with her.
-Flogging Molly sticker stays as well. They kick ass, so there.

QUESTIONS:
-Why are you selling?
I can't justify owning it anymore. Motorsickles, kiddos, work, travel, and beer have consumed my time and money.
Someone else needs to appreciate the Jeep for what it is: awesome mechanical artistry.

-What's wrong with it?
Radiator. Small oil leaks. Driver's side door cosmetic issues.
And it's pissed it has been neglected and parked. It needs rescued.

-Does the 4WD work?
Hell yes. Like a Dickensian Orphan.

-Will you sell me the [engine / tranny / rear door / axle / etc.]?
No. I'm not in the salvage business. Buy the Jeep. Love the Jeep. Give the Jeep a home.

-Will you take [insert ridiculously stupid low number here]?
No. If I wanted [ridiculously low number] I would have asked [ridiculously low number]
Want a cheap car? Get your kid that lowered tuner piece of shit honda project down the road.
I think I'm plenty cheap for this bad mofo.

-Why is it still stock?
Because I bought it for a daily driver with the intention of turning it into a project.
I haven't had the time to do so. So I am selling it.

-Can I put a 6" lift and giant tires on it?
I don't give a shit. But be sure to use quality components and for God's sake - get it aligned after a lift!

-Would this make a good car for my daughter?
Hell. Yes. Not only a good car, a learning experience. Introduction to vehicular maintenance.
Additionally, there isn't really enough room in the back for that little bastard she's dating to try anything.

-Can you deliver?
Within reason. I'd drive it a hundred miles or so. But really, you should come get it. Look it over. Have a beer. Etc.

-Will you take a check / cashier's check / Western Union Transfer / Nigerian Promissory Note?
Would you take a ball pein hammer to the forehead?
No. I'll take Cash. Period. Bring cash or don't show.

-Will you ship to -?
No. See above.

-No, really, all I have is [lowball dollar amount]?
That's great, I don't give a shit. Unicef ain't running this deal, and until they do I want $1750.
Why? Because I don't HAVE to sell this little beauty. Truth be known, I'd rather keep it.
But if it's going to a good home - I will sell. Unless you're an asshole - then no sale.

-Why are you such a dick?
Everything is relative; you should see my friends.

Any other questions, feel free to reply to this email and ask.

TheBloody, Oppositelock lives on in our shitposts. > dogisbadob
10/11/2013 at 11:17

They're those jeans with the stitching that out lines the pockets.

TheBloody, Oppositelock lives on in our shitposts. > Demon-Xanth knows how to operate a street.
10/11/2013 at 11:17

I think I'll add a screen grab to the post as well.

willkinton247 > TheBloody, Oppositelock lives on in our shitposts.
10/11/2013 at 11:21

That's awesome. I wonder what his S/N is!

TheBloody, Oppositelock lives on in our shitposts. > dogisbadob
10/11/2013 at 11:24

Never actually submitted something for NPOCP lol.

RamblinRover Luxury-Yacht > dogisbadob
10/11/2013 at 11:26

I assume he means jeans with fake pockets/pockets sewed shut. Those are a thing. Mostly on chick jeans, but also on tight jeans that are meant to be worn too tight to have usable pockets. In short, eff that.

dogisbadob > RamblinRover Luxury-Yacht
10/11/2013 at 11:28

Wow that's so stupid! Like Fedex Ground stupid!

MontegoMan562 is a Capri RS Owner > TheBloody, Oppositelock lives on in our shitposts.
10/11/2013 at 11:30

that was great. I wish i had 1750. I'd go with a pack of beer, enjoy ourselves and i'd leave with a nice winter beater.

Mattbob > TheBloody, Oppositelock lives on in our shitposts.
10/11/2013 at 11:32

as an XJ owner, I endorse this ad.

Mattbob > RamblinRover Luxury-Yacht
10/11/2013 at 11:33

I think he means the designs sewn on the pockets. The guys with the affliction shirts tend to wear them.

RamblinRover Luxury-Yacht > Mattbob
10/11/2013 at 11:44

Unsurprisingly, the stitched shut/fake pockets have a lot of overlap with decorated pockets, so you say potayto, I say potahto.

Mattbob > RamblinRover Luxury-Yacht
10/11/2013 at 11:51

no man, potatos are way too starchy. If I eat them I wont be able to fit in my Ed Hardy tee shirts..... Muscle Milk!!!!

too little sleep, too much coffee. thank god its friday.

RamblinRover Luxury-Yacht > Mattbob
10/11/2013 at 11:55

Who says potatoes are for eating?

Kinja'd!!!

Muscle Milk is recommended here too, to manage the recoil.

GRawesome > TheBloody, Oppositelock lives on in our shitposts.
10/11/2013 at 16:47

If this had a manual transmission I'd be all over it!
You going to purchase this fine automobile?

TheBloody, Oppositelock lives on in our shitposts. > GRawesome
10/11/2013 at 19:27

Nah, my Discovery II would get mad at me. Just thought I'd give a fellow Jalop some extra exposure.