What would you rate my asshat parking?

"Deputy Kovacs" (grandbudapest) 10/10/2013 at 17:51 • Filed to: None

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Before you all annihilate me on the internet, let me speak. I like my car quite a bit. I'm fortunate enough to have it be my car while being a college student. Most people don't care about their cars, or every car surrounding theirs for that matter. So, I park as far away from other cars as possible, yet people seem to park next to me for no apparent reason. So, I've parked like this in effort to keep door-dingers away (I've already suffered a drivers side door ding not even halfway through the semester).

So, are my actions somewhat justified? Let me hear the rants and hate comments.

ddavidn > Deputy Kovacs 10/10/2013 at 17:54

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I still think you should park in the lines. But sometimes, I park far away from people so that I don't have to deal with their parking/standing/walking/babies/pets/etc when I want to leave.

TheBaron2112 > Deputy Kovacs 10/10/2013 at 17:55

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The guy with the SLS AMG parks next to little tree islands. He has the decency to stay in the lines.

I shudder to think what your coloring books looked like as a kid.

Deputy Kovacs > ddavidn 10/10/2013 at 17:55

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This spot is the furthest away from the path to my dorm possible, and there are still tons of spaces around empty, yet people park next to me with their beater vans with 'mom mobile' vanity plates.

Deputy Kovacs > TheBaron2112 10/10/2013 at 17:56

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I was offended for about two seconds about the coloring book joke, but then I giggled. Well played, good sir.

Captain_Overboost > Deputy Kovacs 10/10/2013 at 18:00

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I wouldn't park like that, for the simple reason that I think it sends the message to people that says, "I'm more important than you, pleeb" and I'd be afraid it would invite simple vandalism. Especially on a college campus. But, it's your car and there are plenty of spots, so park how you want. I definitely understand your motive.

I'm just unsure as to whether this will fix the problem, or just get you keyed instead of door dings?

Volvosaurus-Rex > Deputy Kovacs 10/10/2013 at 18:01

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Once you let go of the notion that a car is a priceless treasure that you need to preserve at all costs, you will find inner peace. A meteor could come and hit your car no matter where it's parked, or zombies...

Shit happens, enjoy the car while you have it.

Klaus Schmoll > Deputy Kovacs 10/10/2013 at 18:02

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If you want your car to stay out of harms way, rent a garage, park even further away and walk or something, but don't use "your precious" as an excuse to block more spaces than needed.

I take it that you are a college kid driving a RR, how hard is it dealing with the spoiled frat boy stereotype? There must be some haters out there.

Deputy Kovacs > Klaus Schmoll 10/10/2013 at 18:04

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Tons of haters. The key is to embrace it. To be honest I'd rather drive something like a Golf R for the time being but I have no say in what I drive. Not that I'm complaining or anything.

Tyler's SVT Focus Hates Him > Deputy Kovacs 10/10/2013 at 18:05

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With a car as big as a RR taking up two spaces wouldn't do anything, you could still get asshats knocking either of your bumpers just because of its length. And if it makes you feel any better, I have seven door dings on my car. One on side. I'm thinking of just giving up at this point.

MIATAAAA > Captain_Overboost 10/10/2013 at 18:06

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This.

dogisbadob > Deputy Kovacs 10/10/2013 at 18:06

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I wish I had your "problems"

If you want to park like an asshat, drive a BMW :p

MIATAAAA > Volvosaurus-Rex 10/10/2013 at 18:06

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This, too.

Casper > Deputy Kovacs 10/10/2013 at 18:07

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I always park in the lines.... I just fine spaces that have something to hug next to them or are WAY across the parking lot. The walking is good exercise, people don't assume they should key my cars, and it's unlikely someone will swing into the space at 50 MPH thinking it's empty and hit me if they can't see past other cars. Of course, my biggest parking pet peeve is when the parking lot is 10% full, I part out in no mans land, and come out to see someone parked RIGHT NEXT TO ME. Treat it like a urinal dude, there should be some separation if there are open spots.

Deputy Kovacs > Tyler's SVT Focus Hates Him 10/10/2013 at 18:07

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How I would feel in your situation:

Deputy Kovacs > Casper 10/10/2013 at 18:08

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Urinal analogy is the best I've ever heard.

PatBateman > Deputy Kovacs 10/10/2013 at 18:08

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Park inside the lines, mostly because parking like that invites people like those that hang out on Gawker to key your ride.

Also, take that puppy out on the grass field in the background and rip it up.

Leadbull > Klaus Schmoll 10/10/2013 at 18:08

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Just pound a Natty and wash down the hate bro

scoob > Deputy Kovacs 10/10/2013 at 18:11

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You're in college? And you drive a Range Rover?

Well shit.

TheOnelectronic > MIATAAAA 10/10/2013 at 18:16

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^This

Tyler's SVT Focus Hates Him > Deputy Kovacs 10/10/2013 at 18:16

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Lol that's pretty accurate. It's a strange feeling of absolute frustration mixed with sad resignation and confusion and disappointment at the human race, a la Vince Vega. I'm pretty sure it's the same dude in a shitbox Cavalier doing it too.

dogisbadob > Deputy Kovacs 10/10/2013 at 18:16

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smart car goes here

dogisbadob > Deputy Kovacs 10/10/2013 at 18:16

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motorcycle goes here

TheOnelectronic > Deputy Kovacs 10/10/2013 at 18:20

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I never take particular caution parking my car, or any "nice" car I happen to be driving, although I will take those end spots if possible.

Simply because door dings aren't that big of a deal, but defensive parking will invite purposeful vandalism.

Or there's my truck, which honestly I don't even care anymore:

desertdog5051 > Deputy Kovacs 10/10/2013 at 18:29

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I would stay in a designated spot and put my wheels up on the top of that curb assuring minimal ability to make door contact. I drive a full size P/U and today's parking spots are sized for small cars. I have to park way the fuck away. It gives you some hiking and most people want that closest to the door spot anyway.

Battery Tender Unnecessary > Deputy Kovacs 10/10/2013 at 18:39

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Who, me? :D

Ironically my winter car is a RRS S/C. It just gets parked wherever there's a space.

I get why you're doing it, I just can't approve. If anything, parking like that will increase the chance someone will do something to your car. Key it, put food/drink on the windshield, and god knows what else on a college campus. Park it between the lines. If someone is close just shift over a reasonable distance while staying the in the space to give them room to get in and out. Basically just park smart. In the 15 years I've been driving, I've never had a door ding or scrape thanks to knowing who I'm parking next to (avoid cars covered in dings, rust, etc since the owner could probably care less what damage they do to theirs, let alone yours), avoid getting close to obvious kid carriers (food everywhere inside, "baby on board"/family stencil stickers, trashed interior), and park nice to other nice cars as much as possible since they are far less likely to carelessly swing a door open.

And when in doubt, take a picture of the license plate next to you just encase you come out finding your door has an additional color on it.

Milky > Deputy Kovacs 10/10/2013 at 18:42

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I literally instagramed this yesterday .... This is how we park in college. You don't take up more than one spot this way, but also avoid dings.

Also ....

Deputy Kovacs > Battery Tender Unnecessary 10/10/2013 at 18:50

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That's what I'm beginning to notice... I hope there aren't any jalops at my school who will take to my car after seeing this. I drive my dad 997 S around in the summer and tend to not park like an asshat, mostly because my village is filled with other range rovers and 911's that don't want their cars damaged either. But on a college campus I've had terrible luck.

PS-

I had a terrible time driving the RRS in the winter. It must be the tires/large section wheels, right? I drove a Cayenne S to Colorado in December through snow and had zero issue.

Battery Tender Unnecessary > Deputy Kovacs 10/10/2013 at 18:53

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Yeah, some dedicated snow tires on slightly narrower, higher profile rims help.

Buick Mackane > Deputy Kovacs 10/10/2013 at 20:23

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You are worried that your tough SUV will get dinged? Then you must be one of those guys that would never think of taking it offroad. If, if there was a shortage of parking spaces and I saw you parked like that,,,beware.

Buick Mackane > Deputy Kovacs 10/10/2013 at 20:24

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Insert knife here.

Deputy Kovacs > Leadbull 10/10/2013 at 20:43

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You win.

TheBloody, Oppositelock lives on in our shitposts. > Deputy Kovacs 10/10/2013 at 20:45

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I'd love to sink that thing in a mud pit. It's a Land Rover, if you're worried about dents you're doing it wrong.

Deputy Kovacs > PatBateman 10/10/2013 at 20:48

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You tried the new menu at Dorsia?

911e46z06 > Deputy Kovacs 10/11/2013 at 00:43

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If parking's at a premium, taking up multiple spots is wack. Wack as hell. But yeah, some dick will occasionally park his Daewoo next to you in a deserted lot for no reason. So as long as you're far away, and as long as there are plenty of other spots, you're good.

911e46z06 > Casper 10/11/2013 at 00:46

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Indeed. +1 for the urinal analogy.

PatBateman > Deputy Kovacs 10/11/2013 at 01:05

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Great sea urchin ceviche.

Klaus Schmoll > Leadbull 10/11/2013 at 07:57

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No hate there. Just pointing out that others might see it that way and do worse to his car than door dings, especially if he parks it so prominently. Might have phrased it a bitt odd.

Klaus Schmoll > Deputy Kovacs 10/11/2013 at 07:57

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No hate there. Just pointing out that others might see it that way and do worse to your car than door dings, especially if you parks it so prominently. Might have phrased it a bitt odd.

Leadbull > Klaus Schmoll 10/11/2013 at 10:40

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Sorry, I think my joke got lost in translation there.