7 Cars that Forsake Their Ancestors

"-Amateur" (amateur) 10/07/2013 at 22:28 • Filed to: RANT

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Sometimes a car company revives a storied nameplate just to sell cars. It's all fine and dandy if these cars lived up to their namesake reputation. 95% of the time, they don't.

Don't get me wrong, these cars would probably be decent on their own if given a different name. When you use an iconic nameplate, it's got shoes to fill that people would rather leave empty...

7. Ford Taurus

Okay, nothing looks out of the ordinary here, just a run of the mill Ford 500. It's crazy to imagine that The Taurus dominated the family sedan market...I mean, the imports couldn't even touch it. Don't forget the Super High Output models with their Yamaha engines. Granted Ford single-handily destroyed the Taurus' luster and appeal almost overnight with each passing generation before finally putting it to rest while there was some dignity left. uhhh, on second thought forget what I said.

Did they just replace the 500 name with the Taurus name instead for no apparent reason? It's like if you watch Clark Kent go inside a phone booth and come out a second later as Superman; You're not fooling anyone. At least I can look back at this desperate attempt to revive the 500's sales and laugh as the current Taurus is actually a pretty solid car. The world should just forget this car even happened.

6. Dodge Dart

That's a sweet looking ride. I can even get a 6.1 liter 383 V-8 to power the rear wheels. It was also a cash cow for Dodge and responsible for killing off the Dodge Matador. Can't mess with the recipe for success.

Oh dear god...the original Dart must be rolling in its grave. FWD? 2.4 liter 4-banger? I mean it's light years ahead of the Caliber and Neon combined, but to use the Dart name? If you were going to desecrate a name, couldn't you at least pick the unloved Matador name?

5. Dodge Charger

While we're on the topic of Dodge desecrating their stable of classic names; The Dodge Charger had big V-8 power, sleek killer looks, and RWD.

Well its reincarnation still has all of that, except there is one flaw in that argument. It has 4-doors! Look if you're going to make a Charger, then make a Charger. If you're not going to go all the way with it, then don't do it. It's like Ford making the Mustang and releasing it as a 4 door only sedan. I'm a forgiving man, I would've even settled for a 4 door and coupe sold side by side.

I always knew we didn't see eye to eye Dodge ever since you released the Charger concept.

4. Buick Regal

I'm pretty sure that by merely looking at these 2 pictures, you'll understand my point.

3. Chevrolet Monte Carlo

The originals could be had with a small block 5.7 L V-8 and RWD. Horrendous build quality was optional. The new one can be had with a 5.3 L Ls4 V-8 which is awesome until it sinks in that it's FWD. I don't hate FWD cars, but if you're going to continue down the lineage of a nameplate, wouldn't you want to keep the essence of it. That essence is what goes into its name. Toyota understood that when they rebooted the GT 86. I can say that the one thing that the new Monte Carlo did right was that it couldn't be had with a 350 Diesel V-8 from the Malaise Era *cringe*

2. Ford Mustang

Amirite guys . The Probe came dangerously close to flat out becoming the next Ford Mustang. That idea was axed as soon as the Mustang enthusiast caught whim of it. Now look, we're awaiting the next generation Mustang while the Probe is long dead.

1. Any BMW M SUV

The BMW M badge once meant something special. Originally founded in May 1972 with 35 employees, they created greats like the M1, M3, and M5. These were racing machine through and through. To see the M badge pillaged and put on everything diminishes the essence and its original reason for being. The BMW X6 M is the poster child to everything that is wrong.

Turner950 > -Amateur 10/07/2013 at 22:33

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Purists will say that any M BMW that isn't naturally aspirated, 6 cylinders and RWD forsakes the value of the ///M badge.

Why no mention of the 911 going from an air cooled, focused drivers' car to a water cooled luxury car?

JayZAyEighty thinks C4+3=C7 > -Amateur 10/07/2013 at 22:34

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Great list, but may I add the SC430 to the conversation? I think everyone knows what I am talking about (first SCs were incredible, while the 430 was below par), so I need not explain.

TheOnelectronic > Turner950 10/07/2013 at 22:36

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You mean like the E30? :p

Milky > -Amateur 10/07/2013 at 22:37

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I'm okay with Dodge's names ... a compact cars name then can relate to a compact car today. Comparing its V8 version to the new one is rude though & I'm getting tired of it. Compare the old slant six if you want, that makes sense. Wait for the SRT-4 version before you start saying the new dart has nothing on its old V8 ancestor.

desertdog5051 > -Amateur 10/07/2013 at 22:38

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Totally agree with the BMW. Ugly and not a true BMW in my mind. The opening photo of the SS is another. Although there was never a car simply called the SS until now, The name implies some mighty muscle from days gone by and it is not a tribute to the name to add this to the lineage.

offroadkarter > -Amateur 10/07/2013 at 22:42

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I don't really think the current regal is a bad car, the GS is really nice, and when it was released initially it ONLY came with a manual, because GM thought it fit the enthusiast car image better. I can't think of many companies who only release a car with a manual anymore.

Your also showing the grand national as the high point, how about what came after that? Surely you can't believe these didn't damage the name as bad as the new one.

Milky > JayZAyEighty thinks C4+3=C7 10/07/2013 at 22:45

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True words.

themanwithsauce - has as many vehicles as job titles > offroadkarter 10/07/2013 at 22:47

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Exactly my thought. This would be like showing the cobalt SS and bitching that the base cruze isn't a monster. The grand national was the pinnacle of the 80s regal platform. Even the regal T-type was the highest possible trim. At least show the hi-po GS model. From personal experience, the regal GS is a blast to row through the gears. I was pleasantly surprised how crisp and well weighted the gearbox was. The thro had a bit of length to it too which I appreciate for normal driving. Not too expensive either but still a bit out of my price range.

JayZAyEighty thinks C4+3=C7 > Milky 10/07/2013 at 22:48

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I forgot about yours! Sounds like a great hoonmobile from your tales. That green looks great with white wheels, btw.

dogisbadob > -Amateur 10/07/2013 at 22:49

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The 80s Monte Carlo is a piece of shit that likes to poop mufflers and transmissions. It gets a pass for having T-tops though.

There is nothing wrong with the new Charger except its tiny windows. It's still a RWD V8 muscle car for the middle class. A better example would've been the 80s FWD Charger!

The Probe was vastly better than the Fox body Mustang, which wasn't even that great, even by 79 standards. The Mustang should've turned into something like the Capri. That is, after 1968, they should've just badged the 69 Capri as a Mustang. Then we would've been spared the Mustang II.

As for the Dart, fair point, and they would've been better off just giving us the Giulia and Giulietta. Fiat should've just used captive imports. Dodge Giulietta, Dodge Mito, Dodge Panda, Chrysler Brera, etc. Perhaps the Multipla could've been sold as the non-grand Caravan. I would've rather had a Dodge Colt than a Dart. Mitsubishi > Fiat.

The Regal is a cool car. We even used to get them imported from Germany! A German turbo FWD manual luxury sedan that's not Audi? Hell yeah! Perhaps they should've just called it Buick Insignia over here though, but even if they had a 300+ hp turbo 4 or 6, T-Type version, it would be very credible and not sacrilege at all. The sleeper element would be retained.

The Beetle also belongs on your list!

The Camry might be a good one to put on there, as even Toyota doesn't make 'em like they used to.

Mitsubishi made the best Dodge Challenger.

themanwithsauce - has as many vehicles as job titles > desertdog5051 10/07/2013 at 22:50

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I'd say the modern "SS" that is coming out is a perfect example of what the SS badge stands for - take a ho-hum car and make it good. 360hp through a modern 6-speed auto means it will spank any stock muscle car from the old days while returning better fuel economy and being more reliable. Plus the possibility of hit rodding through simple bolt ons is still there. Look at how easy it is for G8 GTs to make 450+ hp. That is how easy it will be for the SS to do so too.

I would also point out that the 360 hp rating is in modern standards which are typically lower than how we used to rate them. So this is probably close to 400hp in the old style power ratings. Not too bad at all when you think about it.

dogisbadob > offroadkarter 10/07/2013 at 22:50

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The late 90s supercharged Regal GS was actually really fast for its time, total sleeper, which in fact does retain the spirit of the black car you pictured.

offroadkarter > dogisbadob 10/07/2013 at 23:02

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the new car is a 286hp turbocharged inline 4 with brembo brakes, I think they are AWD now also. And with a manual? Come on, theirs no way anyone can say the new car is bad.

Milky > JayZAyEighty thinks C4+3=C7 10/07/2013 at 23:03

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Thanks, the white rims were rally inspired.

dogisbadob > offroadkarter 10/07/2013 at 23:07

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Exactly!

desertdog5051 > themanwithsauce - has as many vehicles as job titles 10/07/2013 at 23:09

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I agree with you that it has the potential to be a very heavy hitter. And another thing to consider is that automakers have notoriously underrated their HP to make their cars cheaper to insure. Good for all of us.

offroadkarter > dogisbadob 10/07/2013 at 23:13

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I actually went to test drive a GS with my dad a year ago when he was looking to replace his yukon. It was a bit to small for him (mid range class) but it was a really nice car. I wish I had the chance to drive it but it was bumper to bumper rush our traffic on the highway and I didn't feel like making an ass of myself in front of the sales guy.

When you hit the "GS" mode button the gauge cluster goes from blue to red

themanwithsauce - has as many vehicles as job titles > desertdog5051 10/07/2013 at 23:18

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I am horribly mistaken. The 360hp is for the caprice cop car. The SS comes with a rated 415 hp.....so probably close to 450 in old school ratings. It is a G8 GXPwith an auto. I want one. Or a caprice.

Turner950 > TheOnelectronic 10/07/2013 at 23:32

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Yeah, "like the E30".

desertdog5051 > themanwithsauce - has as many vehicles as job titles 10/07/2013 at 23:38

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I totally agree. But, could they have given it some looks? GM is notorious for giving hot cars some of the most plain-Jane looks.

Pure87 > offroadkarter 10/08/2013 at 09:08

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Dodge released the Dart only in manual flavor, which is why it did so poorly initially. I think it was mainly due to the availability of ATs at launch.

offroadkarter > Pure87 10/08/2013 at 09:25

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They were manual only at launch? I don't think I've ever seen a manual dart in person. The one dodge dealer I've gone to that had 20-30 of them on the lot, I don't think I can recall seeing one in a manual

Pure87 > offroadkarter 10/08/2013 at 11:35

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Yeah, I read it on Jalopnik a while back:

http://jalopnik.com/5939091/dodge-…

!!! UNKNOWN CONTENT TYPE !!!

Automatics are definitely more popular than manuals, which is why launching a high volume car in manual only was a terrible idea. In America, at least.

Bruno Martini > -Amateur 10/08/2013 at 11:38

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I dont know. The charger is one handsome car, and if you want it to can whip the crap out of the classic. It grew two door but its not any bigger than its ancestor. At least not by much.

The Regal has done right by the name. Ok its fwd, but it is an impressive package for its drivetrain and honestly one of the near luxury cars on my list to buy. Bring out a 4wd manual turbo 4 version and ill be seriously looking at it.

offroadkarter > Pure87 10/08/2013 at 12:41

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I know, most 'Mericans are to lazy to row their own gears

fat bastards

-An outraged 'Merican

Pure87 > offroadkarter 10/08/2013 at 13:47

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I concur.

-Similarly outraged 'Merican

Mr. Sinister > -Amateur 10/10/2013 at 13:40

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You are of course aware that the Monte Carlo was originally released in 1970 as a luxury/muscle car competitor for the Ford Thunderbird, and was available with a 454 engine and SS package, right?

G8GT364 > themanwithsauce - has as many vehicles as job titles 10/10/2013 at 13:45

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That is the Regal GS in the picture.

Newbomb_Turk > dogisbadob 10/10/2013 at 13:46

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"Mitsubishi made the best Challengers".

When's the last time you saw a Mitsubishi based Challenger cross the block at Barrett-Jackson for a couple of hundred grand? Still waiting, huh?

themanwithsauce - has as many vehicles as job titles > G8GT364 10/10/2013 at 13:46

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Not the newest one with the 6-speed and 270hp turbo engine.

EDIT: The comment above me is what I was referring to

I hoon, therefore I am > themanwithsauce - has as many vehicles as job titles 10/10/2013 at 13:50

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Amazing what 50 years of technological advancements can do...

I hoon, therefore I am > -Amateur 10/10/2013 at 13:53

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I take offense to no.1, only because you forgot to include the E24 M6/M635.

50fridge > -Amateur 10/10/2013 at 13:53

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The current Charger should not be on the list. Even though it is a 4 door sedan it is still a muscle car with a big V8. I agree with the Dart though. Chrysler should have developed a compact RWD platform for it instead using a bland FWD platform from Fiat. Also to cover cost Fiat could have used the platform as new Alfa Romeo or Fiat coupe.

TylerLinner > offroadkarter 10/10/2013 at 14:05

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Honda S2000's only came in manual.

Crackerjacktype0 > -Amateur 10/10/2013 at 14:11

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#2 doesn't count because the Probe never did become the mustang replacement. Usually it's a list of 10. Yours is just 6. Come on.

Ian17 > -Amateur 10/10/2013 at 14:12

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I'm going to say that the only one of these that is valid is the Probe/Mustang.

I say this only because it is the only one out of all the lists where the fanbase was so vocal and enraged by the change, that the manufacturer actually listened.

That means it's the only one that had enough impact to matter. The rest...whatever, and I say that as a lover of BMW M cars.

The Dart change actually makes sense, what are darts? Darts are SMALL.

offroadkarter > TylerLinner 10/10/2013 at 14:30

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which got launched in 1999, a lot has changed since 1999

gla2yyz > -Amateur 10/10/2013 at 14:59

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I don't know about the Regal. The current GS is a brilliant car. In fact, one of the best GM currently offers. And this year the GS can be had with AWD so there's that. You can lament FWD vs. RWD all day but on the road the GS would hold its own - although likely not beat - the Grand National.

Volvosaurus-Rex > offroadkarter 10/10/2013 at 15:12

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"...and when it was released initially it ONLY came with a manual, because GM thought it fit the enthusiast car image better. I can't think of many companies who only release a car with a manual anymore."

Ahem.

willkinton247 > Turner950 10/10/2013 at 15:47

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The E30 had a naturally aspirated straight-4 engine, not 6.

GuySumyung > -Amateur 10/10/2013 at 15:47

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Just a heads up.... that tomato orange car burning rubber? NOT a Dodge Dart. A Plymouth Satellite/Roadrunner/GTX perhaps?

LoremIpsum010101 > -Amateur 10/10/2013 at 15:50

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Am I the only one who thinks the Ford 500 was a handsome car? It looked very no-nonsense, mature, but not lame and swoopy like a similar vintage Camry. It's something Mike Ehrmantraut would drive.

TookOfAFool > Turner950 10/10/2013 at 16:00

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I think the 911 gets a pass because by the majority of metrics, subjective and objective it just keeps improving generation over generation. Its always been the car that's, "holy fuck its so good."

guidedbynoises > LoremIpsum010101 10/10/2013 at 16:14

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Totally agree, 100%

Nintondo-San > -Amateur 10/10/2013 at 16:41

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Only good things I can say about the new dart is that in White, the Rallye version actually looks VERY good, and I've seen a lot of them, all have been with the manual transmission. Very refreshing to see a new econo car ordered in manual more than auto.

FromCanadaWithLove > LoremIpsum010101 10/10/2013 at 16:54

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I think you're alone on this one.

North > -Amateur 10/10/2013 at 17:47

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The 2014 Chevrolet Impala doesn't do it's muscular ancestor justice. It's perfect for this particular model year in many ways as it has evolved way better since it's previous generation which I'm still stupefied by. The remaining problem is still the drive-train. This is the 3rd generation of only front wheel drive Impala's if I'm correct, and really it's disappointing because the platform it sits on (Epsilon II) is used by GM in another good car. The Cadillac ATS, which has an all wheel drive capability in it's model lineup. So why wouldn't Chevrolet use that? Or why wouldn't they go back and reconfigure the care for a rear wheel drive model? Like the 96', a car that's nearing 20 years of age that has more balls then it's successor.

If GM brought back a V8 powered sedan (that's not the SS) that drove enough to take on the 5 Series BMW or the Audi A6 in terms of power I would not rest until my own untimely, strange and awkward future death to try and get one. That car had potential, and possibly it may still have something better in store for itself in the future but for now the Impala to me is still a massive disappointment to it's predecessors. I don't know why someone would want to pay a base of $35,905 for the top range LTZ version of a car that you couldn't even have a little bit of tail happy fun in. Might as well just spend 100 bucks less ($35,800) on the base C-Class Mercedes-Benz, a slight size difference with a better build quality combined with RWD. Even with extras factored in adding a couple grand to the C-Class for the most basic features would still make it better. Get your shit together GM and make a car that will fuck around with ze German's sales!

offroadkarter > Volvosaurus-Rex 10/10/2013 at 18:40

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Okay, I didn't say "the only one in the world to do this", I said its uncommon, which it is.

runfree > LoremIpsum010101 10/10/2013 at 21:02

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[double post]

runfree > LoremIpsum010101 10/10/2013 at 21:02

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I had one and absolutely loved it. It was a fantastic vehicle.

runfree > LoremIpsum010101 10/10/2013 at 21:02

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I had one and absolutely loved it. It was a fantastic vehicle.

Steve is equipped with Electronic Fool Injection > -Amateur 10/10/2013 at 21:19

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You put up the wrong Dodge Charger:

From 1982-88 the Charger name was used on a front-wheel drive L-body platform that was derived from the Omni, which itself was derived from a 1970s Simca.

So yeah, the new pentastar-powered Charger that's faster and handles better than all but the hottest of its 1960s namesake is no affront to its ancestors. I also present the V8 (lean-burn 318) Charger from 75-78. Essentially a Dodge version of the Cordoba, it could be had with up to 205 HP from its 400 CID V8, basically a destroked 440. It was the 70s and it was competing with such coupes as the Buick Regal, Pontiac Grand Prix, Mercury Cougar, and Ford Thunderbird — All with vinyl landau tops and opera windows.

Look at this thing. If this doesn't forsake the hemi-powered NASCAR winning chargers of less than a decade before, nothing does:

*edit*

Add to that the vast majority of Dodge Darts looked like this:

And I have to respectfully disagree with your assessment of the new Dart.

Vincenzo71 > -Amateur 10/10/2013 at 22:40

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Don't forget the original first-gen SS454 Monte Carlos

Tristan > -Amateur 10/11/2013 at 11:16

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You know what the flaw in that list is?

Two of the "ancestors" are actually the same car, just different engine options and with changed cosmetics. In fact there were about 4 other old marques that were the same car (lost count, there was an Olds, Pontiac and stuff, wonder why no Caddy).

Two of the ancestors represent the dawn of a disgusting rebadge-infested era in GM.

I call THAT forsaking real ancestors.

TurboGoose > -Amateur 10/11/2013 at 11:52

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You forgot about a nameplate that "came back" in 2000 - which, arguably, caused more of a stir with purists than the Charger and Regal combined: the Impala.

It was FWD, and V6-only. Apart from some minor styling cues to older times (such as the quad tails) not many agreed back then that it was an actual Impala. And just like the W-body Monte, Chevy tried to give it a 5.3-litre V8 to bring back some of that SS flair - and it did- sort of. In 2007, the Impy SS was able to get from 0-60 mph in 5.6 seconds, which, considering the ancient platform and 4-speed autobox, is pretty damn good. At least, until the torque steer would put you in the ditch.

Even in redesigned form, the 2014 Impala still doesn't satisfy - not because it's still FWD, but because it's been ripped from its SS roots. Ask people about the new Chevy SS - nobody will have any idea what you're on about.

mishka > -Amateur 10/11/2013 at 13:07

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I think you forgot the Cadillac Eldorado:

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