Enlisting your help (it would be greatly appreciated)

"JayZAyEighty thinks C4+3=C7" (jayzayeighty) 10/02/2013 at 18:52 • Filed to: None

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Hey oppo, I am posting something unrelated to the automotive world today. However, the problem may effect my ability to collect cars in my future; it's my lack of motivation of any kind whatsoever. This post is similar to a previous one, but not a duplicate of it. I'd appreciate any input.

Disclaimer: If you don't want to read crap about my life, don't go on. I don't want to look for personal advice, but none of my friends (or so far, the internet at large) are not of much help. The following paragraph will be somewhat rambling and disorganized with lots of statements in parentheses (you'll understand why), so bear with me.

I struggle is inherent laziness. This isn't caused by a lack of intelligence (in elementary school, I was always the nerdiest kid), or lack of lust to be successful. I simply can't place the root of the problem, which is problematic in and of itself. I can name the contributing factors (e.g. never having to work very hard academically, never attempting sports after a point, being cynical about society and what I am learning at school), but being able to identify why I am burdened, or liberated (I don't really know which way to look at it anymore) by such indolence has not helped. The only thing I enjoy doing is helping others in classes; I'm someone who I used to think of as annoying slackers who wallow in self-pity and are always asking, "What's the point?" Now, I, myself am asking the same question. Here's what prompted me to ask this: grades are going to be coming home, and I will once again face the fire that is my dad and my shame (which causes me to still take all of the most challenging courses with the most work), along with a ever-more relevant inner struggle between "screw everything" and my former self; my laziness soared to a whole new level when I was kind of feeling down last year. Because I used to be known as someone who gave a damn, I really will never be accepted as anything but that by most and I will be held to that standard. I simply no longer feel a need to leave my mark on the world in some way or another, nor do I even feel the need to even meet other people or be outgoing. Is a lack of motivation necessarily a derivation of being depressed or down on everything, or have I just had an epiphany due to my age-old interest in analyzing our cultural elements of competition, contribution, and reprimand of those who do not adhere to the two former rules (or am I just insane)? Have any of you had such a problem (and if so, how did you kick the habit)? Thanks to those who read, and again, I don't want to just go on about myself but rather solve this problem.

Thanks; here's a W124 wagon for your troubles.

Nibby > JayZAyEighty thinks C4+3=C7 10/02/2013 at 18:53

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I think I have a similar issue, but I'm not as aware of it nor do I think of it as a big deal. It might be a big deal but whatever.

A lot of my professors and classmates in college told me I need to take my artwork "out of my dungeon and make it more accessible." I made a website, it's plenty accessible.

JayZAyEighty thinks C4+3=C7 > Nibby 10/02/2013 at 19:03

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Glad to hear I'm not alone here. The way I see it, we're intelligent apes with a masochism complex. Anyways, while I don't see it as a big deal, my dad does and he will make the weeks following my interim grades a living hell. I can't totally blame him, either—it's been going like this for years. Being an art student sounds awesome; you should post your work from time to time if you're comfortable with it! Best of luck with it.

D > JayZAyEighty thinks C4+3=C7 10/02/2013 at 19:04

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Don't jump to depression. I'd think of it as enlightenment, or at least just an evolution of yourself. I underwent similar circumstances in senior year of high school. I always assumed I'd have super big dreams and shoot for the top, but I came to a point where I decided all I actually wanted was to lead a satisfying, content life I could feel good about. Ambition versus happiness.

JayZAyEighty thinks C4+3=C7 > D 10/02/2013 at 19:11

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Exactly! Now I am sure that I am just defeating the system. I do want to move to somewhere in Scandinavia where people are of a similar mindset. Maybe study mechanical engineering at VA Tech (a decent STEM school I can definitely get into with a 3-point-something, one sport, one club), learn Swedish, and work for Volvo. That, or become a petroleum engineer in Norway. The way I see it, there are only so many years you can experience before you're dust. Might as well make the most of each one without society telling you what to do. Thanks, BTW.

/life of a badass

D > JayZAyEighty thinks C4+3=C7 10/02/2013 at 19:20

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I want to study ME too (who here doesn't) but I'm at a school with an engineering program consisting almost solely of the computer variants, aka no ME.

JayZAyEighty thinks C4+3=C7 > D 10/02/2013 at 19:24

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That's awesome; I have been interested in that kind of engineering for a long time. You definitely won't have trouble finding a job when you get out. How do you like it?

D > JayZAyEighty thinks C4+3=C7 10/02/2013 at 19:27

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Oh I'm not studying CE or CS—in fact, I'm in an intro to robotics class right now and despise the programming aspect of it. I'm only in my first semester of college, so I'll either change interests or get my ass out of here. I'll just procrastinate by taking math and physics.

JayZAyEighty thinks C4+3=C7 > D 10/02/2013 at 19:35

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Cool, I'm actually also taking an intro to robotics class (while I doubt mine is anywhere near as in-depth). Most of that stuff seems pretty interesting to me. How are you liking college?

D > JayZAyEighty thinks C4+3=C7 10/02/2013 at 19:43

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I can sum up the vigor of my course by saying that the final (for the quarter) is making a robot that will follow a curved path on the ground. I thought there would be an element of working with hardware but it looks like the emphasis is on programming. How does yours stack up?

I'm only in my second week here but other than the disappointment of that class I'm enjoying it.

davedave1111 > JayZAyEighty thinks C4+3=C7 10/02/2013 at 19:44

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You sound a lot like me, except a lot harder working. The trick is to put a lot of thought into laziness, and make as little work as possible go as far as you need it to. Work out what it is you actually want from life; 'not what my dad wants' is a negative answer, not a positive one, although you seem stuck somewhere around there.

Dads typically have trouble with the negative aspect to that when it's not accompanied by a clear vision - but are also commonly more accepting than us sons expect of an alternative to their way of doing things, just as long as you have a clear idea what you want to do with your life (and how to do it).

Your dad is, of course, quite right that doing well at school keeps your options open. If you want to say 'bollocks to that, it's not worth it', then you need to know what you're going to do with the more limited options that will result. (For what it's worth, that was my attitude. But the real world's a lot harder work than school.)

To start with, remember that they don't call it work, and pay you for it, because it's fun. It's the shit we put up with to do the stuff we want to do - just like brushing your teeth and washing your clothes is the stuff you do so people will come near you.

No-one wants to do boring or frustrating stuff. If the boredom and/or frustration is just because whatever you're doing is easy and seems pretty pointless/badly organised, and you could do it better yourself, it's because you're what's known as an entrepreneur :)

In that case, your life plan should be to work for other people just long enough to get the cash together to start something for yourself. Maybe worth spending time working for other people long enough to see the mistakes they make as well - and you might even learn something.

Anyway, I'm not you, so you probably can't take any prescriptions from that. Maybe a few things to think about, though.

Nibby > JayZAyEighty thinks C4+3=C7 10/02/2013 at 20:33

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Thanks, yeah just hang in there! I graduated in May. Here's my site that I made for a web design class... obviously the layout was designed to troll the professor. http://gameoeuvre.net84.net/

JayZAyEighty thinks C4+3=C7 > davedave1111 10/02/2013 at 20:36

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I really appreciate your feedback. Guess I'm an entrepreneur :)

To be clear, I understand the way the real-world works. I want to be driven like many others, but it's always been a challenge for me. I've been told numerous times that I seem like I have ADD, which I have also heard is a made up disorder or a generalization of many different ones. School was always effortless for me when I was younger, and that being combined with being somewhat depressed last year, I have become a person of slothfulness. Thank you again for responding; it's nice to hear another's point of view.

JayZAyEighty thinks C4+3=C7 > Nibby 10/02/2013 at 20:45

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That's a really cool site! I'd like to know how to do that type of thing. It's really creative; I probably would not be able to put something so unique together. The assignments stuff is great (I never would have thought a truck looked so good with a w123 grill.

davedave1111 > JayZAyEighty thinks C4+3=C7 10/02/2013 at 21:02

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Driven and lazy aren't antithetical. I have a drive to laziness. I will do everything I can to minimise the amount of time I spend doing crap for money, and maximise the time I spend doing stuff I want to do.

Did you ever read Robert Heinlein's Time Enough for Love? If not, I think you might enjoy The Tale of the Man Who Was Too Lazy to Fail.

http://theuniversityoflove.com/MAP/RESOURCE_C…

The whole book's great, if you haven't read it, but for obvious reasons that bit sprang to mind :)

At the end of the day, you can be 'driven like many others' without driving to the same place.

JayZAyEighty thinks C4+3=C7 > davedave1111 10/02/2013 at 21:17

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Someone recommended it to me long ago and I never got around to reading it; I suppose I will now—thanks.

I guess when you put it that way it makes me look at the matter in a different light. Money used to be my only goal, and I am still someone who reads business and tries their hand at the market, but I suppose I have come to a realization rather than a dead end. I think an accomplishment is truly meaningful if you make it by different means, or if the accomplishment is altogether different than one that society pushes us towards. I will endure others using me as someone whom with they can compare themselves to for their own feelings of success in the sense of cultural expectations, even if they be my friends, to be able to live a life based on a realization I have arrived at after much toil and deep thought.

GhostZ > JayZAyEighty thinks C4+3=C7 10/02/2013 at 21:27

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This is very, very similar to who I was in high school. My answer? Fuck your father, do things for yourself. If he doesn't like your grades and classes, take different ones or tell him to fuck off. I'm completely serious: he is well-intentioned but you probably have a better idea of how to both make yourself happy, and how to achieve it most efficiently, than he does.

I'm going to elaborate, some of this you will get, and some of it you will not, but I really see a lot of myself inside of your problems and I want to help you out with what I know.

Here is my train of thought that lead me to where I am: You will die in 100 years. No one will remember you in 200 years. The only lasting effect of your life on the world at large is your time, which has (up until this point) been used by others to further their own opinions, will, and ideas. Any ideas you have, any emotions you have, any thoughts you have about the world are completely useless once you die.

So what's the point of life? It's two-fold: enacting your will (making your opinions/thoughts reality), and gaining happiness. Happiness is the primal drive to survive, be quiet, do what you are told, and not take risks. It's not so much that "ignorance is bliss", but in reality, bliss is created because of ignorance. The brain is hard-wired that way as a security measure. This means that the "human" interaction of relationships, happiness, and family are actually far more animalistic than the propagation of the will. They can be both done at the same time, and in fact almost always happen concurrently, but in varying amounts. Despite this, I've learned that a little more control and focus over your life (which is what you say you seem to lack) requires a marginal loss in the physical joy. I believe this is the entire point behind Zen teachings: to make the mind and body realize this, and to develop focus of your actions because of it. It cuts away distraction and weakness, returning focus and control.

The thing is, we grow up being told that the entire world exists as it does because "that's the way it works". We are told that certain things never change, that certain things are worth waiting for, that certain things are the most important things in life. But when you reach a certain point in your life, you will realize that everything is a cause of someone else's will . People's own actions make the world the way it is, including your own. The thing is, you are probably already more intelligent than 90% of the population. The difference between "them" and you is not ability, but resource usage.

After a certain point in life, Family loyalty/reliance becomes a serious problem when you're trying to proceed in life. It's because things like grades are literally the least important thing in the world when it comes to "success". They keep you from enacting your own will and getting your own joy out of life.

What grades do offer is security. It doesn't make you "successful", the time (not intelligence, it doesn't take much intelligence, just a lot of time) you have to pay to get a good grade is the direct cost of entry into many "exclusive" careers such as being a Doctor, Stock Broker, Lawyer, etc. But it doesn't make you a successful doctor, broker, lawyer, or anything else. It's merely the screening process.

What is important to success is personal capital . Capital is any existing asset with some level of liquidity, volatility, and growth .

Liquidity is the ease at which one type of value can be converted to another. For example, time and energy (food) can be converted into work (displacement in time) which has a market price of labor , thus converting it to dollars. Converting a certain amount of time and work into dollars can be very difficult (finding and maintaining a job) but can be made up for by negotiating for a higher price. This negotiation is determined by your own personal demand (how efficient your work is, aka, how fast and how much work you can get done) and the supply (your competition and the availability the employer has to fund). So if you want to get paid lots of money, it becomes really, really clear how to go about it. Build up capital that can be used as a negotiation indicator, overriding logic and appealing on an emotional level (My grades are good, thus, you don't have to be afraid that I'll do a bad job).

When you make a patent, the patent is worth very little, and your ideas are worth even less. What is valuable is actually the physical change that that patent can create. "How much can this new technology augment someone's life, and to what scope can we create it?" This further supports that your own ideas are worthless unless you do something with them.

Volatility is the reliability of the change over time. For example, time is the least volatile resource: it always moves at the same, standard rate. That's because every other resources (such as labor and dollars). Dollars are somewhat volatile, as inflation, devaluation, etc, change how powerful they are at creating change (aka, how much you can buy with a dollar). Labor is extremely volatile, and a rather unreliable resource that rises in value in bursts.

Growth is the rate of return on this value. For example, if you work a job and you get paid a certain amount of money for a certain amount of time, that's your growth rate (say, $600 per month), respective to the input. If you can write a book in a month and start selling it, you'll be way better off than if you wrote the same book in a year. Likewise, you can have negative growth, especially if your labor is so unreliable that you get paid less or are fired.

What do these economics have to do with the meaning of life? They are, at their core, an abstraction of the ecosystem. Animals have certain resources, and labor. Their payment may convert directly from energy and time to food , without dollars. This lets you start deciding the most efficient way to do your dishes, saving yourself time. It tells you that if you have to pay for entertainment, then you are taking a huge loss of your resources, as opposed to being paid to be entertained. It demonstrates how pointless things like grades are for anything other than bargaining tools to affect other people's emotions.

And affecting other people's emotions is the best way to get more resources for you to use toward your goals .

That appeal to emotion/security creates an artificial value on your labor, making you get paid more. How do you develop those negotiation points? Utilize existing capital and build on it. Employers use the need for other people to to eat, survive, etc.

So what's the American Dream then? With a white picket fence, 2.2 kids and a dog? It's a fiction created to influence the desires of individuals to give up resources to further their own happiness against the physical fear of an animal lost in the woods. The more people who work hard and live happily, the more resources the "capitalists" have to enact their will . In some cases, yeah, this works fine for everyone because those capitalists are better at managing resources than the people who work for them. Reprimand, police, entertainment, consumption, it is all the same iteration of the same animalistic competition for resources. That reality TV show? It's making someone exceedingly wealthy (and thus giving them more power to change the world) by making you complacent and waste time watching it.

But not you.

You have ideas. You have needs and wants. You need to recognize where other people are using your resources and either take them back, or find a way to make that use benefit yourself. Even if you spent your life just satisfying your own pleasures, do it as efficiently as possible . Anything else is waste.

Stop thinking of success in terms of dollars, and start thinking in terms of change you can do to the world.

The emotional aspect of the mind to overcome depression (believe me, I know all about that) comes from the inner self. You have to be not hide, but completely recognize your animal needs. If you have a fear of death, it will drive you strongest toward success. It is only when the conscious needs and wants (built by watching the world around you) and the body's needs and wants (built by the growth and configuration of your brain) are in agreement that you'll know what you want in life. It takes patience, meditation, and a scientific approach to religion. It takes control over the body's depression and the way the mind sees the world. It's what Nietzche called the "Superman" and its part of some east-asian teachings about the mind and body. It's also something completely overlooked and underdeveloped by normal society.

It was long and contrived, but these are my thoughts on the system. Have fun sorting through them.

JayZAyEighty thinks C4+3=C7 > GhostZ 10/02/2013 at 22:11

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The fact that you took the time to write this really turned my week around. Thank you very much. You definitely have a uncannily similar outlook on life as I do. I sometimes think that I am the only person who sees our species as one of animals that are, by nature, too intelligent and vain to accept that fact. You have reiterated all of my disorganized thoughts and feelings, consolidated them, and analyzed them, and that's more than you can expect from the best of psychologists. I am relieved that someone is of like mind, because I was beginning to think I was one of very few people had similar realizations as those of mine, the others of which I would never be able to identify. Among a culture that pays for an entry into a supposed afterlife through suspension of disbelief, denial of hard-earned discovery, and monetary means, it is very hard to be able to associate with most others on an ideological level. The terms you use make sense to me, as I studied microeconomics this past summer and I've always been immersed in financial matters, and the concepts of both are very similar due to our society's affinity for all things financial. Reading your post makes me reflect on my own nearly identical views and how I could have ever doubted them. It's been a great help and I can't express my appreciation for your response enough. I can say with complete honesty that nothing is more relieving than to know your views are shared with someone who is articulate and more well read than those who read as means to an end; I suppose reaffirmation is most satisfying when coming from someone else (which displays, once again, how the individual's prosperity is based on animalistic elements of the human psyche). Thanks again.

GhostZ > JayZAyEighty thinks C4+3=C7 10/02/2013 at 22:27

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Watch out for economic dogma. I assume you read the Mankiw (Harvard chair) microeconomics book. It's very self-affirming and limited, I recommend looking into more theoretical older books (Adam Smith, Hirshleiffer, Becker) to get a better grasp on the abstractions that Mankiw completely overlooks if you want to pursue economics as any form of study.

I've found that diet, sleep schedule, and social influences have a huge impact on the mind's ability to sort, explain, and organize data. To help you figure out yourself and your wants, try looking toward limiting factors in your lifestyle. I never cared about fashion or exercise until after I started managing my life more efficiently, which is a bit of a social irony given that most people who are concerned with fashion and exercise tend to do it for pleasure rather than conscious control. This supports the notion of the subconscious and conscious mind having similar goals: I discriminate my clothes (much like we discriminate between cars) for their effectiveness at conveying the fictional idea of myself to others, since our internal personality is completely useless in light of our projected one. It creates that emotional response and can give you an emotional advantage. Or, as Oscar Wilde would say, Style is Everything. The Picture of Dorian Grey is basically a treatise to the power that beauty and style has at overriding the logical mind.

Another thing you could look into a book called simulacra and simulation , by Jean Baudrillard, which explains how our models and beliefs of how a system should or might work have a huge effect on the way it does work, to the point where our personal beliefs and emotions actually create a sort of ideological circle-jerk of self-affiermation when the idea of a model becomes more 'real' than the original thing the model was designed to measure. There's a PDF online here:

https://www9.georgetown.edu/faculty/irvine…

Don't worry, people like us are out there. The only difference between genius and insanity is success, the only difference between rationalization and sociopathy is intent, and the only difference beauty and terror is perception.

Nibby > JayZAyEighty thinks C4+3=C7 10/02/2013 at 23:58

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Thanks a lot! Here's a link to the class blog if you wanna learn more. Surprisingly still up. Hopefully you can learn a lot from here as well http://digitalmedia2011.globalblogs.org/

JayZAyEighty thinks C4+3=C7 > Nibby 10/03/2013 at 00:00

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Thank you! I look forward to learning from it. I'll get back to you once I have read it; it's off to bed for me. Good luck with everything.

Nibby > JayZAyEighty thinks C4+3=C7 10/03/2013 at 00:31

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Good night to you too. I just wanted to tell you, though I do not know you well enough and please don't take it the wrong way... if someone tells you something it's ultimately up to you to decide whether or not he/she is talking bullshit or being serious. Personally, I don't have many friends but that's cause I choose that way. I really do not care for things like TV, books, and movies for I'd rather be actively involved (eg. playing video games).

I find when dealing with others the less you expect from people, whether it is your own friends, family, loved ones, the happier you'll be. I know it's hard to be 100% independent in high school and/or college, but the more independent you are, the less dependent you are on others and less chance you will have to deal with their stresses (your father yapping at you for your grades. I've been through the same thing with Asian parents, so I understand!). Now at 22, I'm still job searching and applying to graduate schools after graduating undergrad in May and I'm living at home with my parents. Of course, I am still dependent on them and I obviously would like to move out at some point and get a job, my own place, car, etc. but for now I am content with staying at home (I have no expenses, but at the same time I help out with groceries, chores, fixing up the house, etc. but I don't mind doing those things)... I have a wonderful relationship with my parents and sisters, and even though we may not get along all the time, our parents did everything they could to ensure a comfortable and nurturing lifestyle. Respect for others begins in the home... your parents, your siblings, relatives, neighbors and so forth. With dads especially, it can be very difficult as the ones I know seem to be very controlling and rather strict, so that can definitely annoy their children. The best thing to do is to take yourself seriously and make initiative to improve your life.

One of the best things I've learned in college other than not expecting things from anyone... a professor told me that "You should be constantly improving yourself... how do you become a better person and what kind of person do you want to be?" Self-esteem is important too and part of the reason why I am so anti-cliques, trends, celebrity culture, etc. is because they often create unrealistic and/or inappropriate ideals for our youth. We need more down to earth role models in our society.

Ultimately, do what you want and love. Work hard for whatever you desire and it will pay off. Always be true to yourself.. that will allow you to be honest with others. And never change for anyone other than what you think is best for yourself (I don't think you have that issue).

JayZAyEighty thinks C4+3=C7 > GhostZ 10/04/2013 at 01:54

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I will try to implement those practices in my every day life; everything you have just said appears to me as concepts I can benefit from by doing so. Out of curiosity, by conforming to these notions, how did you actualize them while trying to establish a framework allowing you to leave an effect on the world? I have always struggled with the application of my ideas to the physical world due to anxiety to act decisively. Sorry to bother you, and the insights have not fallen on deaf ears—they are really, truly helpful. I'll also be sure to read the books you recommended.

GhostZ > JayZAyEighty thinks C4+3=C7 10/04/2013 at 01:58

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I build capital and draw on resources around me to get things done. Whether that is intellectual property, research, money, friendly labor or some tool I've made, depending on what I'm making (a book, a research project, market analysis, etc.) I try to move large quantities of resources as fast as possible to a position that lets me do it as easily and effectively as possible. In actuality, it's a lot of simple things (getting opinion from someone else, doing flash research on a topic, applying existing ideas I've built to future ones) but the method is the same: acquire resources, position them most effectively, and then turn the machine on and hope the plan all comes together well.

JayZAyEighty thinks C4+3=C7 > GhostZ 10/04/2013 at 02:19

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Not to intrude on your personal concern, but simply to inquire, may I ask how you market and promote such products or skills? The general functions of your work seem to be some of the few types of work I enjoy doing, and I would actually have positive sentiments towards executing such aspects of that type of work. Of the two things that interest me, work regarding conceptual thought and engineering, I would far and away prefer occupying my time and earning financial means deeper and broader thought, theorizing, or analyzing simply because those are things I enjoy doing even when payment is not a component of the process.

GhostZ > JayZAyEighty thinks C4+3=C7 10/04/2013 at 04:45

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I write novels. Ideas, distilled and explained through a lens of fiction, are a dense way to get people interested. This year, I'm starting a company. All of my personal development is to support those goals, so it just helps that I enjoy that type of analysis.

scoob > JayZAyEighty thinks C4+3=C7 10/04/2013 at 22:02

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Where do I start...

In retrospect, my last 3 years of high school were dreadful. I gave absolutely no fucks about my grades and here I am in my senior year. My parents were (and still are) pissed off at my idiocy and guess what. I actually fucking regret it. I lived my life the way I wanted to, and now I don't think I can even get into the shit colleges in my area. And even the legit dumbfucks go to those schools. Makes me feel disappointed, don't you think?

Anyway, I realized this year is my last chance to turn all of that around and go back uphill. Middle school was like just starting to go up that hill. When I was in high school, it's like I stopped, couldn't do a hill start and kept rolling on back downhill (car terms ftw?). Now, I got a 98 on my physics quiz, I think two or three 100's on my English tests, and the rest will come eventually since I just started this year about a month ago. Over the years I failed a crapton of things, but hopefully my college essays, letters of recommendations, etc. can help me out.

GhostZ does bring up a lot of interesting points. My whole life, I've loved cars and computers. I always helped my family with their cars (doing light stuff) and computers. I even put my own computer together about 4 years ago, when I was 13. My dad recently asked me what I want to do in college and I replied with engineering. He just scoffed and told me no one would want to hire me once I reached age 30+ or something. Supportive, right? He then tells me it's better to be a doctor. Of fucking course everyone says that, but really, who actually is successful enough?

I'm stuck in a dilemma too. I want to do what I want to do, but a lot of people do that and they wind up in McDonalds or in retail, etc. I'm not sure where engineering will take me, if I do take that path. But if I do engineering, I may be pissing off my parents even further. 2 of my cousins also did terribly in high school, but they also got their shit together and they're doing pretty well now.

I think I'm rambling, so I'll just try to finish. I'm not sure if you'll agree with me on this, but here's what I think. Aim high (reasonably) and just try hard. Have you ever went looking for new stuff and went "Damn, no monies"? I'm pretty sure everyone does at least 1,000 times a damn day. I know I have. I guess working hard will one day get you somewhere. I'm not telling you to be the design director at NASA, I'm telling you to just think about the future. Everything you do now has either a consequence or a reward.

I'm still dealing with my consequences.

JayZAyEighty thinks C4+3=C7 > scoob 10/04/2013 at 22:33

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Wow, reading this felt like I am reading about myself to an extent. It's uncanny how car people resemble each other so closely. I read your response and I see the societal-achievement desiring side of me, and I read GhostZ's post and see my entire philosophy of life. I cannot begin to tell you how much I appreciate the fact you took the time out of your day to help me out; I rarely actively go out and seek help, but I discovered that you would have a different point of view and I felt that it was something I needed to have some insight into (and my instincts proved correct—your response was extremely helpful). I also didn't mean to request such a favor on the eve of your SAT's, and it's extremely generous of you to help me out when you have a legitimate reason to just relax and clear your head so you are psychologically primed for the test. I am really the one rambling here as everything you said was completely relevant and helpful, so allow me to conclude by saying: thank you, thank you, thank you, and good luck. You have provided me with significant insights and this is very helpful as all my friends use my philosophy (practically GhostZ's verbatim) for purposes of self-affirmation because of the fact that my aspirations are not very closely intertwined with societal expectations of me. By all means, allow yourself to rest your head so you can walk out of your school satisfied tomorrow. All the best!

Tom McParland > JayZAyEighty thinks C4+3=C7 10/06/2013 at 02:38

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Jay,

You are not alone in your situation and outlook, as I have experienced bouts of the same mindset throughout my life. The underlying causes to your lack of motivation to do well in school is a topic of great interest of mine, because I have had many students who clearly had the brains but didn't have the drive. GhostZ had a very impressive analysis and provided great insight, I can't really touch that. However, the topics you discussed reminded me of a Daniel Pink's work on motivation. Check it out, I think a lot of things will ring true for you.

As to what to do with this information to make your life better, I wish I had the answer to that. The best I can say is find real meaning in some of the things that you do, that way the "grind" isn't so bad. Know that your schooling is a means-to-an-end and while it does not stimulate you intellectually you will probably need it to be fulfilled later. I really caution you to not make the mistake many of my students have made...you see some of them were smart enough to see the forest from the trees and know that the education system really is not designed to benefit them...so they opt out. The sad part is, while this rebellion is satisfying in the short term their decision essentially makes the system win in the long-run.

Also, and please do not be offended here as I am just speculating based on what I have read in your original post. That piece of writing really is telling of someone who is grappling with clinical depression, at least on some level. I suspect your lack of motivation and subsequent depressive episodes are symptoms of something deeper. If so until that root cause is recognized, I am afraid it will be difficult for you to get out of this cycle. I am not suggesting you need meds or anything, but I do think it would benefit you greatly to talk to a professional. Every school has a "school psychologist so you can even start there without having to tell your folks. I wish you the best man and I hope things start looking up.

JayZAyEighty thinks C4+3=C7 > Tom McParland 10/06/2013 at 05:00

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First of all, I would like to express my sincerest thanks of your assistance in this matter. I found what you said to truly be of substance and deeply appreciate the fact that you took the time to write such an insightful response. I am not one to ask for favors, but this was simply a special case for me and I cannot help but feel I pressured you into taking the time out of your day to give me special assistance. If that is the case, I'm very sorry. However much time you feel comfortable dedicating to this instance for someone you haven't even met is honorable, and most people would not have done the same. We live in a world where the most satisfying feeling is that others are willing to take time to help you, so I really cannot express my thanks enough.

In any event, my response is below. I wrote things without taking consideration of chronological order, as I had to jot down a great number of ideas as I reflected on the past few days and I either am thinking in a hyperactive manner or my mind drifts off elsewhere, but it shouldn't be a problem in this instance. I won't be offended if many things don't make sense, so just tell me I am aimlessly babbling and I will explain things to the best of my ability.

Please understand (if you do choose to read the lengthy and boring paragraph below, of which I will not take personally if you have not the time or energy to read it ) that I may be repeating some of the things I have expressed in my initial introduction of these occurrences to you, but it is hard to exclude some pieces of this due to the fact that they all relate to each other and this it is really the only method by which I can accurately portray these occurrences with some accuracy.

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It is always a relief to hear that you are not alone in your practices or thinking. I figured that many good teachers (particular at the high school level) would be able to provide insights on such disregard for types of work, so I decided to seek your assistance as the teacher's perspective (esp. a high school teacher's) was the last perspective I was seeking. It's incredible the way gearheads and car enthusiasts are alike in so many ways, reading through comments from others. However, I digress—at one point in the video, the speaker remarks, "the solution is in the periphery." While I found the video as a whole very helpful (he does a terrific job of verbalizing so many ideas about motivation and discrepancies between scientific findings and workplace practice, and I found all of his statements and findings reasoned and insightful (it was very keen of you to post such a pertinent video based on what you deduced from my previous post; very many things did really ring true)), that quote about looking beyond the periphery best encapsulates and describes the case for my endeavor to find the way to expunge the most happiness possible during my lifetime. Something that happened to me upon reading DevilZ's response was a truly profound reaffirmation based on the fact that his philosophy and ideology is almost, if not completely, identical to mine. I am not hopping on a bandwagon because people recommended his comments, but I honestly conveying that those were my ideas that I conceived during periods of time dedicated to thought, but rather trying to express I have used many of the same words and entire sentences when trying to explain my ideas to others.

It is hard to truly express how or why this has changed my demeanor and habits to the extent that it has, but I have hardly felt truly despondent since that Wednesday night. My explanation, while not as astute as I would like for it to be, is that my depression was a byproduct of my inability to understand my idleness—before that point, I thought that my sloth was a result of depression. I have determined, while not with complete certainty, that I had realized certain things long ago but had pushed them into my subconscious to preserve my goals of conforming to societal expectations (for the same reasons every Joe wants to play lacrosse and live a relatively similar, yet improved, lifestyle as his social predecessors). On that Wednesday night and following morning, I could describe the change in myself and my outlook only as a psychological enlightenment due to its great effect on my psyche. Despite my sentiments at that time, I think I simply unlocked myself mentally with seemingly esoteric concepts while lacking the will to change my ethics and behavior or realizing any fundamental changes in my practice (I was and still am extremely confused about how I would implement many of my ideological ideas in my daily life, despite my arrival at the conclusion that it would be beneficial to my goal of true satisfaction on a basic and fulfilling level). However, seeing as someone's views had an uncanny resemblance to my own affected a somewhat profound change within me. Since then, I have become far more confident, as I have grown to no longer be intimidated by so many things society has led me to believe to be of consequence.

In the past few nights, I have had overarching thoughts (theorizing about society), many of which have been helpful in discovering both myself and the interconnecting fibers of society. Ideas have arisen in my mind with some spontaneity (and frequency that even I would at first question whether they are truly reasoned or fervently conceived thoughts as many deemed insane might produce), and while at a time I would view them as worthless; I now embrace them, record them, analyze them, and try to factor them all into my outlook on life. I have deduced that these thoughts are of topics I want to, but do not choose to address in my thoughts; subconsciously, there must be a need for me to deal with such subjects, and I believe the randomness with which they occur indicates that they are the most important subconscious questions I have and they are transmitted into conscious thought for my own discretion and discovery.

It should be noted that, through both others giving me their points of view, and me gaining confidence in my philosophy as a result, I have realized that I do have a devotion—that is, to seek living in an broadened state of awareness. If you have read through all of this it is truly generous of you, and I'd be even more ecstatic to hear your thoughts. Once again, I cannot express my thanks enough. It's an honor to be helped by someone by so much personal experience seeing this issue and, it goes without saying, your insights are both truly helpful and appreciated.

Tom McParland > JayZAyEighty thinks C4+3=C7 10/06/2013 at 07:50

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Jay (I keep calling you that, I am assuming that is your name in some fashion). It is wonderful that you have gained some clarity and direction since your initial post. Really the only thing I would suggest at this point is that you study Philosophy when you get to college. Not many young people explore metaphysics... and you already write like a philosopher. Though I will caution you, my wife and I have Phil major s and minors respectively and employment can be difficult with that field if study. But I bieve you mentioned engineering in another thread a Phil/Engineering major would be a killer combo.

JayZAyEighty thinks C4+3=C7 > Tom McParland 10/06/2013 at 16:43

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Automatch, my real name is Nick, but Jay is what anyone should derive from my screen name as an abbreviation (sorry for any confusion). However, it is of no significance at all; call me whatever you want, I've never been one to be sensitive about people calling me otherwise, and I'm more casual about things than I have ever been having realized the complete root of my demeanor. Philosophy is a topic I have pondered studying formally in college, but have discounted due to commercial demand for those with the degree; however, hearing that it is something worth pursuing from someone who has had "life experience" (for lack of a better term—that phrase is something I have actually thought about and disregarded to an extent) does affect my mindset about pursuing the subject. It is such an interesting coincidence that you and your wife studied the discipline in college. I feel that a double major in both engineering (I truly appreciate your going to the effort to discover that) and philosophy would be a great idea, as I am someone who does not like to decide between interests (although in the past I didn't mind blatantly disregarding them in the interest of doing easier things). I think by doing so I would be acknowledging both my inner concerns and outward concerns (money, societal satisfaction, etc.) in the balance from which I can pursue my inner concerns to a fuller extent (by using the fruits of my outward concerns to seek the implementation of my ideology in my life). While I suppose I wish I had participated in more typical aspects of societal life so I would have been able to reach these conclusions after a longer time, becoming someone who is both philosophical and conforming (two contradictory things), I suppose these views have a more deep-seated effect at an earlier stage in life. It's a relief to be able to talk to someone who discerns my ideas and can interpret my rambling thoughts on a deep level. Best of wishes and thank you again for your help!

Tom McParland > JayZAyEighty thinks C4+3=C7 10/06/2013 at 17:44

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Nick, happy to be of service. Just a thought you could Major in Engineering and minor in Philosophy. That way you get the "marketable" degree you need along with intellectual stimulation you desire. Also, if you are planning on going to graduate school, your training in Philosophy will give you an edge there not to mention an edge in the workforce against other Engineering majors who only know the technical aspects of things, to be able to see systems both holistically and critically will be a huge advantage for you. :)

JayZAyEighty thinks C4+3=C7 > Tom McParland 10/12/2013 at 11:29

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Hi Automatch,

Sorry for the late reply. Jalopnik posts weren't working for me, and I decided to take a break from Oppo. In any event, I'm back now. I think that it would be a great idea to use that plan for college. I think the conflict of having ideas contrary to actions is something that is causing me to try to point myself in two directions; I may actually pursue seeing a therapist, if only to figure out what makes my outlook on life so odd. I hope that I'll end up studying both of those subjects, and thank you for your assistance on the matter—I feel that I have more direction now. Hopefully you don't end up with too many students like me :)

Tom McParland > JayZAyEighty thinks C4+3=C7 10/12/2013 at 11:54

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All the best man. :)

JayZAyEighty thinks C4+3=C7 > Tom McParland 10/12/2013 at 12:46

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Same to you. Enjoy the long weekend! And thanks.