I Think Wagons Are Ugly And I Don't Want One

"PRBot II" (prbot2)
10/02/2013 at 16:23 • Filed to: wagon wednesday

Wait! Hold your fire. I can explain - just hear me out.

Alright. Raise your hand if you plastered your bedroom walls with station wagons as a kid. Anyone? Bueller?

Maybe you did, but I have never even heard of such a thing. Really, how many kids have automotive fantasies of practicality and utility?

Yesterday, my six-year-old nephew peeked over my shoulder as I was visiting the Classic Car Club of Manhattan website. What did he say?

I like the yellow one.

The yellow Lamborghini Gallardo, that is. And who can blame him? He's only six, but he appreciates theater and pantomime when he sees it.

Now consider this. Our fellow Opponaut !!!error: Indecipherable SUB-paragraph formatting!!! briefly !!!error: Indecipherable SUB-paragraph formatting!!! early this morning for saying he wouldn't buy one. So what?

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why would I buy a wagon? I don't need one for literally any reason at all....

People who buy vehicles that are way outside their uses are the reasons everyone has a pickup or an SUV

~ offroadkarter

Bam. Excellent point. I don't need one either. My convertible Saab has enough room to fit my entire drumset:

I just have to lower the top to put in the bass drum. This is a convertible here, folks. I'm impressed. And it gets the job done.

Look, if I needed to transport lots of cargo I'd have gotten a pickup. At least it's more honest with itself. The station wagon seems like an automotive identity crisis. Is it a track star? Or is it utility? I see compromise from both ends.

So do I hate station wagons? No, I respect them. I just don't think they can pass the !!!error: Indecipherable SUB-paragraph formatting!!! .

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Check out this poem my little nephew wrote just for fun:

In the words of my nephew's poem - I have this car, you have that car.

We all have our own cars, and this is Oppositelock... the forum where we share our love for all of them.

DISCUSSION (53)

ddavidn > PRBot II
10/02/2013 at 16:25

Nice kit.

Wagons are beautiful.

Wouldn't put my drums in a pickup.

PRBot II > ddavidn
10/02/2013 at 16:26

Not even with a covered bed?

505Turbeaux > PRBot II
10/02/2013 at 16:27

haha I used to transport my string bass in my 81 Audi 5000 turbo, with the headstock and neck out the sunroof. Just sooo much easier in a wagon...

PRBot II > 505Turbeaux
10/02/2013 at 16:29

Get a pickup!

Kidding.

Manuél Ferrari > PRBot II
10/02/2013 at 16:29

I don't think all are ugly. Some look nice. Especially some of the Audi and Caddy wagons.

But I agree they're overrated. Just like the Miata and straight six engines. I don't hate any of these things (I own a car with a straight 6 right now). I just think people overdo the praise for wagons, Miatas, and straight sixes.

Decay buys too many beaters > PRBot II
10/02/2013 at 16:29

Word, my opinion of Oppo today is decidedly "meh" (except for the shooting brakes!)

I have no children and on the rare occurrence (maybe once a year) I need to carry more than my jetta or fr-s can carry, I call a friend with a truck.

ddavidn > PRBot II
10/02/2013 at 16:30

You mean a canopy? Would they fit with just a bed cover? Excuse my ignorance. I can haul my drums in my M3 if I really want to. Although I usually use my wife's "wagon." I don't travel with much.

PRBot II > ddavidn
10/02/2013 at 16:32

I'm not a pickup guy, so I'm not proficient with the lingo. But I think we're thinking of the same thing.

And M3's are awesome.

DasWauto > PRBot II
10/02/2013 at 16:32

You don't like wagons, and that's fine. You don't have to. You don't have a practical need for them and looks are subjective.

I do have a practical need for wagons/hatchbacks and I personally prefer the looks of most over their sedan counterparts. Again, personal opinion, not everyone is the same.

One thing I don't get: "The station wagon seems like an automotive identity crisis. Is it a track star? Or is it utility? I see compromise from both ends.".

What does a wagon compromise for the sake of utility? They're hardly any heavier (just one example - the Impreza wagon/hatch weighs ~80lbs more) and you get a lot more space. The only compromise I can see is looks which, again, is subjective.

Horkin' Up Dangle Hams > PRBot II
10/02/2013 at 16:34

I appreciate your radical view. I think the argument for a wagon is the versatility, but if your drums fit in your Saab, then screw it, keep the Saab.

I know I hate that people buy SUVs when a wagon would do it faster and more efficiently in almost every case, outside of heavy towing.

So keep your Saab, and love it. I think I will dream of a Cadillac CTS-V AND a Lamborghini Gallardo.

ddavidn > PRBot II
10/02/2013 at 16:34

Gotcha. I'd take a wagon over a covered pickup. Because they're only slightly different.

M3s are awesome, although I would just classify mine as pain-in-the-ass. Someday I hope to make it awesome, somehow.

ttyymmnn > PRBot II
10/02/2013 at 16:35

You are entitled to your opinion. You are also entitled to be wrong. (I'm teasing here)

With age comes wisdom. It would be interesting to poll Oppo and get the average age of the people who love wagons. I love wagons, and I'm 46. I grew up in the age of wagons, wagons with wood-grain stickers on the side, wagons with bench seats in the front, wagons with rear-facing seats in the back, where you could pretend you were a tail gunner on a B-17. Wagons are awesome for just as many reasons that a Gallardo is awesome, just different ones.

I'm also wondering what you do about your bass drum when you have a gig and it's raining.

Bob Loblaw Made Me Make a Phoney Phone Call to Edward Rooney > PRBot II
10/02/2013 at 16:35

I've liked the look from a pretty young age, I'd say 10 or 11. I was also hideously obsessed with cars as a child, so I may have just been further up the chain of progression, but I was smitten with shooting brakes and hi-po wagons as a child; the Chevy Nomad was one of my first big automotive obsessions. There's something about them that I absolutely can't explain the lust for. Something about how complete they look as compared to something a trunked car; smooth, complete, balanced.

ddavidn > DasWauto
10/02/2013 at 16:36

As an owner of a '98 impreza outback hatch, I can testify to the fact that it sacrifices nothing to gain the hatch. Although it isn't a real wagon.

For Sweden > PRBot II
10/02/2013 at 16:36

You can either like wagons or supercars, not both!

CobraJoe > PRBot II
10/02/2013 at 16:40

I can respect that reasoning.

Personally, I love wagons because they let you haul so much without the need for a bigger vehicle. Our Volvo V50 managed to haul 3 people, a baby, a bunch of luggage, and a medium sized Ikea shopping trip (READ: no couches) home 5 hours from Minnesota. Plus, we averaged over 30mpg. You couldn't do that in any other vehicle type. Then, when we don't need the extra space, it feels like any other car.

I love hatchbacks too for the same reasons. My Fox Mustang once carried 14 cases of cereal, and could almost fit a go-kart.

Personally, I can't figure out the love for sedans. The trunks are small (compared to hatches or wagons), the short front doors are annoying for tall people like me (the b-piller is about even with my ears), and unless you have kids who constantly need access to the back seat, it's just as easy to store things back there in a 2 door.

DasWauto > ddavidn
10/02/2013 at 16:40

I'm always a little conflicted on whether to call the Impreza a wagon or a hatch (except for the current gen which is clearly a hatch). It doesn't have the length of a proper wagon but it has the proportions to make it looks suspiciously like one.

Kinja'd!!!

Good choice for a car though. I'm currently considering this to take over DD duty for my Mazda3 hatch. Mileage is high(ish) but damnit, it looks awesome.

PRBot II > DasWauto
10/02/2013 at 16:40

Das, I gotta run to the store... I'll be back in an hour or so.

ddavidn > DasWauto
10/02/2013 at 16:43

Totally. I like that body style a lot, would like to DD one of those as well. (Our Subaru is an automatic, therefore my wife's DD and not mine.) I'd also accept your Mazda3 hatch...

DasWauto > CobraJoe
10/02/2013 at 16:44

+1 on all points.

Also, heh, tall people problems, I look out of the rear door window when I shoulder check. :)

PS9 > PRBot II
10/02/2013 at 16:45

-No one plastered wagons on their wall as a kid, anymore then they plastered Corollas and Civics up there. But here's an infinitely more valid point; Out of all those kids putting up Lambos and Ferraris, how many will actually get to own one when they grow up? 1:100? 1:1000? I don't think it's even 1:100,000.

-You will never actually meet Anna Kendric in real life, nor will you be able to divine her real-life opinions on what is/is not cool as far as cars go. Oh, she thinks wagons are not cool? Well she isn't going to be there to help me haul my shit out of the flat when time comes to move, while the wagon gladly will, so fuck her.

-As for the Kendric stand-in you could encounter in real life; A person who does not understand why having the ability to haul people, things, and ass all in one vehicle is impressive when time comes to haul your shit around in a move, haul your furniture away from the superbox store you brought it from, or haul your kids to and from school is not worthy of the time and energy needed to impress them. She too far removed from dealing with these kinds of real life challenges to understand why being able to do that with one vehicle is awesome anyway, so fuck her too.

-A car is a major financial responsibility. Especially one you pay for every month. You've agreed with a creditor to slice off a chunk of your income every month for years just to get some transportation, nevermind insurance, nevermind gas, nevermind maintenance, so you'd better have a damned good reason to do it. "Wow, all the people I don't know who aren't going to contribute to this years long financial burden I'm agreeing to in any way will sure be impressed when they see me rolling around in this!" has got to be the most 110%, grade A, dumbassed reasons to get a car a person could come up with.

DasWauto > ddavidn
10/02/2013 at 16:51

The Mazda3 is indeed an excellent DD, pretty fun to drive too.

I test drove a Saabaru (cousin to the above Impreza) last weekend and enjoyed it a lot. The Subie is much cheaper but is actually slightly smaller and worse on fuel [than the Mazda3]. I just really like them.

I don't know if I'm bored or what I want to do for sure; just automotive ADD, I guess.

DasWauto > ttyymmnn
10/02/2013 at 16:52

Early 20s, love wagons/hatchbacks. Though that can be partially attributed to being European.

CobraJoe > DasWauto
10/02/2013 at 16:56

I could comfortably hang my arm out the rear window in my '96 Crown Vic PI.

Casper > PRBot II
10/02/2013 at 16:56

I don't like wagons either. I say if you need to haul that much crap you either need less crap or a truck/trailer. That said, I don't mind hatches. If more cars came in slim hatchback form I would be happy. I honestly don't know why the BRZ/FR-S didn't have a hatch form... it would have been much more practical while also easier to cage up.

I just lump wagons in with vans and pickups. They are a purely utility vehicle.

ddavidn > DasWauto
10/02/2013 at 16:57

The Saabaru is on my list of semi-reasonable dream cars. I love it.

delete-me-please123 > PRBot II
10/02/2013 at 16:58

It's like you reached inside my head and pulled out my (nicer) thoughts about wagons. I think they are beyond ugly and completely stupid. Your point about being a child and having a wagon poster on your wall is perfect. Who aspires to own a wagon? Just sad. Practicality and utility is the last thing I want in a car.

PS: Your nephew is awesome. Please have him call my nephew to straighten him out.

Tom McParland > PRBot II
10/02/2013 at 17:02

I love wagons, duh :)...but I don't begrudge folks who don't like them. Just like I understand how the Miata is always the "answer" but have no interest in one because I'm not into convertibles. This is Oppo if you love cars of any kind no matter how weird or common you are cool.

ddavidn > DasWauto
10/02/2013 at 17:05

How much are those going for now? I know, price varies by location, market blah blah blah. How much was the one you looked at? 2006? Could I sell organs for enough money to buy it?

DasWauto > ddavidn
10/02/2013 at 17:14

The one I drove had 60k miles and they were asking $10k which I thought to be a little high (no leather, non-turbo, no sunroof), $9k might be fair. They also had one with just over 100k miles for $7 or 8k, IIRC (that one had leather and a sunroof).

The above subie is $4000 with 160k miles (I probably shouldn't even be looking at it as my Mazda has just over 140k miles, like it said though, I like it). Though at that price it most likely has a new[er] clutch and timing belt. It is only a 2.5ts, to be clear, not a wrx as some of the exterior bits might indicate.

These prices are all Canadian, which, for reference, in general are slightly higher than in the states.

ddavidn > DasWauto
10/02/2013 at 17:21

I'd be pretty happy with $4000 for that scoob. The Saabaru does seem a little high, but as you said, it's all in loonies. I think the 2.5ts would be around $5500-6500 where I am, putting it out of reach of me for a while.

duurtlang > PRBot II
10/02/2013 at 17:24

In Europe, where I live, there are lots of wagons. I don't own one. Why? Because I preferred a coupe. However, when I need a four door I'd buy a wagon. It has all the benefits of a sedan plus added utility. Basically all the real world benefits of a sedan and a CUV combined in one car, without the sedan (utility) and CUV (handling/economy/price/appearance) downsides.

DasWauto > ddavidn
10/02/2013 at 17:27

Would it really be that high with that many miles? That seems a bit crazy. There are a couple of Impeza hatches around here that I could get for $6-7K with around 80K miles. Those are probably a smarter buy though I would likely have to do a timing belt and clutch within 60K on those cars.

ddavidn > DasWauto
10/02/2013 at 17:35

Well, of course I can't find anything that's super close to matching here, but I found a few a couple hundred miles north of me. I'll go questing for more wagons, all I Can find are sedans. Maybe I'm a little bit off. I'm sometimes behind a couple years in pricing...

http://vancouver.en.craigslist.ca/van/ctd/405055…

http://victoria.en.craigslist.ca/cto/4050290944…

PRBot II > ttyymmnn
10/02/2013 at 17:41

You know, I've never encountered that rain problem with my bass drum - yet.

delete-me-please123 > PS9
10/02/2013 at 17:47

I might not ever own a Lamborghini, but I'm still going to aspire to own one.

I think you miss the point on the Anna Kendric test. It's about having an attractive car that your date will take notice of in a positive way. No wagon will ever score you points there.

And to your last point, it's not because of others views, its because cars can be fun.

PRBot II > DasWauto
10/02/2013 at 17:53

OK, I'll admit I'm splitting hairs here.

I see compromise in only the most extreme ends of the spectrum. In the track star vs utility example, I see manufacturers like McLaren who don't make any wagons. And then I see GMC with no wagons. To me, the wagon is somewhat of a crossover.

And I don't doubt for one second that the CTS-V wagon can rip the 'ring a new asshole. Yeehaw.

DasWauto > ddavidn
10/02/2013 at 18:00

Those prices are pretty damn comperable to what I'm seeing here. The $4k car I have is only 16k km (10k mi) less than the one you've found.

DasWauto > PRBot II
10/02/2013 at 18:02

I'm glad you can see that. Manufacturers like McLaren also don't make sedans which is what you should be using as the basis of comparison for wagons. When you think about it that way, there really isn't much of a compromise at all. Just more space.

ddavidn > DasWauto
10/02/2013 at 18:02

I think I forget where exactly you live. How far east are you again?

DasWauto > ddavidn
10/02/2013 at 18:03

Southern Ontario. Near enough to Toronto.

ddavidn > DasWauto
10/02/2013 at 18:06

That's pretty far East. Weird that the prices would be that similar.

PS9 > delete-me-please123
10/02/2013 at 18:22

I might not ever own a Lamborghini, but I'm still going to aspire to own one.

So if you never get to drive a lamborghini, you never get to meet your aspirations and never get to enjoy driving?

I think you miss the point on the Anna Kendric test.

No, I didn't. "What kind of car will get you laid?" is the point of the test, and "Not a wagon, lolz" requires information no one can get.

it's not because of others views, its because cars can be fun.

Did you not just explain in your own post the ability to impress another as a critical requirement for passing the Kendric test?

delete-me-please123 > PS9
10/02/2013 at 18:32

I'm so tired of this place. Peace all.

PRBot II > delete-me-please123
10/03/2013 at 03:47

Don't let PS9 keep you from visiting Oppo, it's not usually like this.

Steve Zissou > PRBot II
10/03/2013 at 13:21

My wife and I will not buy a car that is not a hatch/wagon. Fold those seats flat for the dog crate.

texasfordfan > CobraJoe
10/30/2013 at 17:26

My mom prefers having a trunk because people can't see into her storage area. She always worries that things left in a storage area with windows is more likely to be stolen than if a potential thief can't see anything of value. This is mostly because she knows too many people who get their cars broken into because the leave really expensive items (phones, laptops, etc) right where people can see them in the car. Plus, she has her old Honda Pilot for when she needs to haul things. The car was already paid off when she bought her Mazda 3, and the Honda was too convenient to sell.

CobraJoe > texasfordfan
10/30/2013 at 21:35

Most wagons and hatchbacks have cargo covers that can hide anything in the rear. Even my '86 Mustang GT had a rolled up cover that you could stretch over to hide anything.

Kinja'd!!!

In our Volvo, we just leave the thing in the garage, it makes it easier to get our massive stroller in and out of the car.

texasfordfan > CobraJoe
10/31/2013 at 14:02

We have one on our pilot. But a wagon with the cover off doesn't have the cargo space that we would buy the wagon for. Plus the wagon version is more expensive to buy. If I were spending my money on a car, I would probably choose the wagon (I like the sleeper aspect). But for my mom, their was no need for the storage space, and she likes having a trunk.

CobraJoe > texasfordfan
10/31/2013 at 14:51

With the cargo cover down, it's still easier to load and unload than a trunk, and there's always the possibility of removing the cover to get the extended cargo space.

In other words, you're really arguing a non-issue. Either you keep the cover in place and get the same covered storage as a sedan, or you remove the cover and get the same storage space as a small SUV (with the same visible cargo area problem).

texasfordfan > CobraJoe
10/31/2013 at 15:56

I would have to disagree that a wagon with the cover down is still easier to load than a trunk. But my moms reasoning is that she will always have the cover down, so she bought the sedan with the lower price.

CobraJoe > texasfordfan
10/31/2013 at 16:52

I suppose that it really depends on the trunk design vs the wagon cargo area design and what you're loading, but in general I'd rather have the lower lift height and lesser lip of a wagon when it comes to loading stuff.

As for not wanting a wagon because you're worried that people will see your stuff, that's a pretty silly reason. Not wanting one because you'd rather have the slightly cheaper sedan and acknowledging that you won't need the extra cargo space? Those are valid reasons.

texasfordfan > CobraJoe
10/31/2013 at 18:56

I understand that it is a silly reason. It isn't my reason. It is my moms reason. I was just trying to explain on possible reason why someone wouldn't want a wagon. Again, if it were my money, I would buy the wagon, because I like the way they look, and in my experience, a wagon has better visibility to the rear.