What's your favorite Clarksonism?

"Daanish D'souza" (daanishdsouza) 10/02/2013 at 13:54 • Filed to: None

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"Speed never killed anyone, suddenly becoming stationary, that's what gets you."

That's definitely up there in my list of favorite Clarksonisms. So what's your absolute favorite quote from the greatest TV host... in the world?

Dusty Ventures > Daanish D'souza 10/02/2013 at 13:58

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That one's always bothered me, because I'm a pedantic ass. Say, for example, you're stationary in a car (or worse walking across a crosswalk) and you get hit by a speeding bus. Becoming stationary didn't kill you, speed did.

Like I said, pedantic ass.

DasWauto > Daanish D'souza 10/02/2013 at 13:59

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I was going to suggest the TG definition of oversteer but it was actually Hammond, not Jezza.

AbigGRNboot > Daanish D'souza 10/02/2013 at 14:01

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How hard can it be?

dieselhunter444 > Dusty Ventures 10/02/2013 at 14:01

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I will never look at that famous quote the same ever again.

ncasolowork2 > Daanish D'souza 10/02/2013 at 14:03

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"I've mended something!"

Nate > Daanish D'souza 10/02/2013 at 14:03

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*Wheel falls off during police car challenge*
*car spins wildly*
"Something's gone wrong with the handling."

dieselhunter444 > Daanish D'souza 10/02/2013 at 14:03

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Or how about....wait for it..... POWWWWERRRRRR!!!!!

Hermann > Dusty Ventures 10/02/2013 at 14:04

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Speed never killed anyone, a modulus of acceleration above what a human being can withstand is what gets you.

Dusty Ventures > Hermann 10/02/2013 at 14:06

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Doesn't quite roll off the tongue the same way

getchapopcorn > Daanish D'souza 10/02/2013 at 14:07

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Hermann > Dusty Ventures 10/02/2013 at 14:12

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I'm an engineer, it doesn't need to "roll off the tongue". It needs to be precise. Darn navigators who think everything must sound easy and clear.

youshiftem > Daanish D'souza 10/02/2013 at 14:14

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“Asking the front wheels of a car to do their normal job of steering while handling more than 170hp is like asking a man to wire a plug while juggling... penguins... while making love... to a beautiful woman while on fire, on stage... in front of the Queen. It's all going to go wrong."

thebigbossyboss > Daanish D'souza 10/02/2013 at 14:14

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"That's not gone well"

F40LM > Daanish D'souza 10/02/2013 at 14:42

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POWEEEEEEEEEEEEER!

highmodulus > ncasolowork2 10/02/2013 at 14:44

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I use this all the time.

highmodulus > Daanish D'souza 10/02/2013 at 14:44

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Its gone badly!

Daanish D'souza > F40LM 10/02/2013 at 14:46

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Daanish D'souza > Daanish D'souza 10/02/2013 at 14:51

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!!! UNKNOWN CONTENT TYPE !!!

Ilike_cougars > Daanish D'souza 10/02/2013 at 14:57

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"The Americans lecture the world on democracy and then won’t let me turn the traction control off!”

NaturallyAspirated > Hermann 10/02/2013 at 15:22

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I always heard it as "Speed never killed anyone, delta-v is what gets you."

Mean-Jim-Green > Daanish D'souza 10/02/2013 at 15:22

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Ahhhhhh! Lorry lorry lorry lorry! A lot of poo just shot out!

ThatWillBuffOut > Daanish D'souza 10/02/2013 at 15:24

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Those Who Are Last Shall Be Sideways and Smiling.

NaturallyAspirated > Daanish D'souza 10/02/2013 at 15:26

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"That's not gone well."

This has become my replacement for swearing.

Hermann > NaturallyAspirated 10/02/2013 at 15:29

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V makes much more sense. I feel stupid now.

Dusty Ventures > Hermann 10/02/2013 at 15:29

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Hey now, we navigators value precision as well. We just choose to make it concise precision.

Hermann > Dusty Ventures 10/02/2013 at 15:36

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Yeah, sure. Precision. You're just shouting random numbers and hoping the driver won't throw you into a ditch.

Dusty Ventures > Hermann 10/02/2013 at 15:41

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Shhhhhh. You'll blow our cover!

Hermann > Dusty Ventures 10/02/2013 at 16:06

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Nah. I admit that a co pilot is very, very important .

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Turner950s > Daanish D'souza 10/02/2013 at 21:05

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I think we need a thread of the worst Clarksonisms, i.e. the numerous times he's offended people, most commonly with some racist slip ups.