The Opposite Locker - WayBack Wednesdays

"Tim (Fractal Footwork)" (fractalfootwork)
10/02/2013 at 19:45 • Filed to: WayBack Wednesdays, The Opposite Locker, Amber Heard, Porsche 550, James Dean, OppositeLock

This is The Opposite Locker - Wayback Wednesdays where we try and sort out the cool from the square. This is a discussion system detailing how cool an older car was, not how fast, fun, or frivolous it may have been, but how well it looks in the cat's pajamas.

But, you may be asking, !!!error: Indecipherable SUB-paragraph formatting!!!

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Wayback Wednesdays are like the normal !!!error: Indecipherable SUB-paragraph formatting!!! , save for the advanced age of the cars on the block. For this series of posts, try and perceive the vehicle as if you were living in the time period of the car's release, and then base your vote upon its coolness, taking into consideration the evolution of culture.

Locker Space

Cool

Chevrolet Camaro '67

Dodge Charger '68

DeLorean DMC-12

Nissan 300Zx

Uncool

Ford Mustang '64*

New Kid On The Block

Known best in America for killing James Dean, Porsche's 550 was a mid-engined road car produced in the 1950s. The default 911 didn't turn up till the 60s, so this was Porsche's foray into the lives of the adventurous. Is the fact that James Dean owned a 550 enough to class this car as 'cool', or is the lack of practicality holding this legendary chassis behind the chase?

Porsche 550

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DISCUSSION (27)

William Byrd > Tim (Fractal Footwork)
10/02/2013 at 12:30

Anything other than frigid = heresy.

William Byrd > William Byrd
10/02/2013 at 12:35

2 heretics already....

Speedmonkey > Tim (Fractal Footwork)
10/02/2013 at 12:36

It's a Porsche sports car. It's cool. Now, in 20 years bring us a Cayenne and we'll vote on that

Goshen, formerly Darkcode > Tim (Fractal Footwork)
10/02/2013 at 12:47

James Dean.

No other justification is needed, so it's frigid without a doubt (see what I did there).

McLarry > Tim (Fractal Footwork)
10/02/2013 at 12:51

wait...'64 mustang is uncool, Nissan 300zx is cool?

y'all are crazy...I'm not sure I want to take part in this. But geez, if you don't agree the 550 is frigid, we got some real problems.

William Byrd > William Byrd
10/02/2013 at 13:14

We're up to 9.

WHO THE FUCK VOTED SQUARE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1

Tim (Fractal Footwork) > McLarry
10/02/2013 at 13:26

I had to make something uncool...

therotaryisdeadlonglivetherotary > Tim (Fractal Footwork)
10/02/2013 at 14:59

At first I read 'Opposite Looker' and thought it was a play on 'Opposite Locker' about cool, beautiful women and cars. And everything about that top picture is off the charts making whatever she drives, I can't make it out, cooler than just about anything else by proxy. Cooler by proxy you say? Perhaps that has something to do with the Porsche 550. Food for thought.

The Swedish Bandit > William Byrd
10/02/2013 at 16:39

Okay I'll come clean, and you'll probably hate me for this. I was the one who voted square! Why do you ask? Because Porsche is pretty much the ultimate old geezer car, no matter what the model (except for the 924, 944 and maybe the 928) and based on the Anna Kendrick test, old geezers can never be cool, period. And if a car isn't driven by a cool person, than neither can it ever be cool!

Don't try to argue with me about this, that's just the way it is and you all know it even though you won't admit it!

Brian, The Life of > The Swedish Bandit
10/02/2013 at 16:47

I'm sorry man but you are wrong. as. fuck.

Kinja'd!!!

dogisbadob > The Swedish Bandit
10/02/2013 at 16:47

I voted cool because it's not a 911 and doesn't look like a 911.

Otherwise I would've voted square too

Bob Loblaw Made Me Make a Phoney Phone Call to Edward Rooney > The Swedish Bandit
10/02/2013 at 16:48

Here's the problem: Anna Kendrick is a terrible barometer to go by.

The Swedish Bandit > dogisbadob
10/02/2013 at 16:50

Ohh but if it would have been a 911 I'd probably had to vote it even more square than 550. 911's are seriously the uncoolest cars ever.

The Swedish Bandit > Brian, The Life of
10/02/2013 at 16:51

Sorry, but in the eyes of Anna Kendrick, I just see a very old man that is in no way cool.

The Swedish Bandit > Bob Loblaw Made Me Make a Phoney Phone Call to Edward Rooney
10/02/2013 at 16:53

But it works! We all know deep down that the main goal of getting a cool car is to impress the opposite sex. Sure the 550 might be a very good and exciting race car, but it sure ain't cool.

dogisbadob > Tim (Fractal Footwork)
10/02/2013 at 16:54

James Dean is pretty much only known today because of this crash, which of course is unfortunate like almost any crash is, especially fatal ones. Every time I hear about it I just want to say "get over it" or something and normally I'd vote square because of this shit, BUT...

The car may only really be known for Dean's death as well, but at least it looks markedly different from the 911, enough to earn a cool vote from me.

I'm not really a fan of celebrity worship.

StoneCold > Tim (Fractal Footwork)
10/02/2013 at 16:55

The Mustang was indeed cool when it came out.

The problem is I don't know what you're asking here.

"...try and perceive the vehicle as if you were living in the time period of the car's release..."

So is it cool if you compare what is out then and what has come before it?

For example, you can't knock the Mustang for having a live rear axle, because that's what a majority of vehicles had then.

"...taking into consideration the evolution of culture."

Do you mean up until the car was released? Or the continuation of culture up until now?

Another problem is that using cars that are more famous for BEING cool, they will be cool. Want to balance out the sheet? I suggest to start throwing some other cars out there. Throw down something like the Studebaker Avanti and see what you get.

Bob Loblaw Made Me Make a Phoney Phone Call to Edward Rooney > The Swedish Bandit
10/02/2013 at 16:57

See, I'd agree with you on that point if we were talking about a 911 or a 356, but I think womenfolk respond to the sensuous, flowing, topless curves of the 550. I'm going to take an informal survey of the misses and her friends tonight.

Brian, The Life of > The Swedish Bandit
10/02/2013 at 17:00

Counter argument #2. You're still wrong.

The Swedish Bandit > Bob Loblaw Made Me Make a Phoney Phone Call to Edward Rooney
10/02/2013 at 17:02

Okay, sounds like a plan. Don't forget to ask them taking into account what type of person would be owning said car.

The Swedish Bandit > Brian, The Life of
10/02/2013 at 17:10

Brian, The Life of > The Swedish Bandit
10/02/2013 at 17:27

Game. Set. Match.

Kinja'd!!!

Tim (Fractal Footwork) > StoneCold
10/02/2013 at 19:49

Vote as you would have if you were voting in the time period of the car's release, but take in to consideration how the car evolves into our mindset of its coolness as time progresses.

offroadkarter > Tim (Fractal Footwork)
10/02/2013 at 19:50

Whoever voted a 64 mustang as uncool is officially a communist

Without the mustang, the camaro wouldn't exist....

GTRZILLAR32-Now saving for Godzilla and a condo > The Swedish Bandit
10/02/2013 at 19:56

James Dean would disagree

Kinja'd!!!

Lets Just Drive > Tim (Fractal Footwork)
10/02/2013 at 19:59

You realize that's like telling a Jury, "You will disregard the testimony you just heard."

Some things cannot be unseen, unheard or unfelt.

McLarry > Tim (Fractal Footwork)
10/03/2013 at 11:39

I would've chosen the other thing :P