by "AestheticsInMotion" (aestheticsinmotion)
Published 12/16/2017 at 21:02
by "AestheticsInMotion" (aestheticsinmotion)
Published 12/16/2017 at 21:02
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STARS: 0
I’m filling a backpack with cheap gifts for my good friend, who’s landed a Microsoft Job and is finally moving out from home. If you think of any good gifts (preferably useless and/or infuriating) post them here! Bonus points to whoever can top the 5 pound bag of candy corn on it’s way to my house.
The theme is “things that will help you adult”
Do with that what you will.
"Jordan and the Slowrunner, Boomer Intensifies" (jordanwphillips)
12/16/2017 at 21:05, STARS: 5
A bag of glitter, but make it a not clear bag so they open it.
"AestheticsInMotion" (aestheticsinmotion)
12/16/2017 at 21:07, STARS: 2
That’s pure genius, Satan. Adding “bag of glitter” to the list...
"Jordan and the Slowrunner, Boomer Intensifies" (jordanwphillips)
12/16/2017 at 21:09, STARS: 2
https://www.ruindays.com/products/spring-loaded-glitter-bomb
"gmporschenut also a fan of hondas" (gmporschenut)
12/16/2017 at 21:11, STARS: 4
for a while you could order usps packing tape for free. One of my roommates orderd 30 rolls.
girl across the hall:”what are you going to do with 30 rolls of tape”
friend: better questions is, “what aren’t we going to do”
"TheTurbochargedSquirrel" (thatsquirrel)
12/16/2017 at 21:18, STARS: 7
I was going to recommend the Sugar Free Haribo Gummy Bears that use a laxative as a sugar replacement but they don’t seem to sell them any more.
"CB" (jrcb)
12/16/2017 at 21:23, STARS: 11
Working at Microsoft? I know what they need a backback full of...
"DC3 LS, will be perpetually replacing cars until the end of time" (dc3ls-)
12/16/2017 at 21:24, STARS: 1
A literal white elephant!
"For Sweden" (rallybeetle)
12/16/2017 at 21:28, STARS: 6
An unavoidable update to Windows 10
"Highlander-Datsuns are Forever" (jamesbowland)
12/16/2017 at 21:30, STARS: 3
20 cubic foot bag of packaging peanuts.
"If only EssExTee could be so grossly incandescent" (essextee)
12/16/2017 at 21:31, STARS: 5
Buy a bunch of Apple logo stickers and put one one each and every item in the bag,
"Highlander-Datsuns are Forever" (jamesbowland)
12/16/2017 at 21:35, STARS: 2
VHS tape rewinder car.
"Highlander-Datsuns are Forever" (jamesbowland)
12/16/2017 at 21:37, STARS: 1
Singing tooth brush.
"AestheticsInMotion" (aestheticsinmotion)
12/16/2017 at 21:37, STARS: 1
I bet I could mix this with the glitter...
"Maxima Speed" (maximaspeed)
12/16/2017 at 21:38, STARS: 0
Came here to say this, not disappointed.
"AestheticsInMotion" (aestheticsinmotion)
12/16/2017 at 21:39, STARS: 2
It’s either that or Bing stickers, but I feel like Bing stickers would be hard to find
"Highlander-Datsuns are Forever" (jamesbowland)
12/16/2017 at 21:39, STARS: 6
Do you still want to be friends with this person? Because this is how you end friendships.
"AestheticsInMotion" (aestheticsinmotion)
12/16/2017 at 21:40, STARS: 2
Too bad. I feel like spring loaded glitter and five pounds of candy corn probably isn’t enough to make her stop talking to me for a month... Those gummy bears would have been perfect
"Highlander-Datsuns are Forever" (jamesbowland)
12/16/2017 at 21:41, STARS: 2
All these years later I still hate that fucking paper clip.
"Frenchlicker" (frenchlicker)
12/16/2017 at 21:46, STARS: 4
Did me some googling:
https://www.amazon.com/dp/0399536493?tag=bfbetsy-20&ascsubtag=4431391%2C5%2C24%2Cmobile_web%2C0%2C0
"If only EssExTee could be so grossly incandescent" (essextee)
12/16/2017 at 21:46, STARS: 0
Or:
"Dogsatemypants" (kb113400)
12/16/2017 at 21:53, STARS: 3
invisible robot. Fill a box with packing foam and a letter congratulating the owner of a genuine invisible robot.
"AestheticsInMotion" (aestheticsinmotion)
12/16/2017 at 21:58, STARS: 0
I doubt she even knows what Linux is haha
"AestheticsInMotion" (aestheticsinmotion)
12/16/2017 at 21:59, STARS: 2
I’m expecting severe retaliation.
"AestheticsInMotion" (aestheticsinmotion)
12/16/2017 at 22:01, STARS: 1
This is now on the list. Excellent googling
"boxrocket" (boxrocket)
12/16/2017 at 22:08, STARS: 3
We had a “White Elephant”/”Rob Your Neighbor” gift exchange at work. I wound up with new and unopened cassette tapes and a roll of 100-speed film.
Old tech for someone working a tech job seems apropos. Maybe a broken Zune?
"TheD0k_2many toys 2little time" (thed0ck)
12/16/2017 at 22:09, STARS: 1
THIS
"CarsofFortLangley - Oppo Forever" (carsoffortlangley)
12/16/2017 at 22:13, STARS: 1
I know I’m late to the party, but what about a small 10lb weight?
https://www.amazon.com/Uncoated-Weight-perfect-Scuba-Diving/dp/B001OALUJ0
"jimz" (jimz)
12/16/2017 at 22:36, STARS: 0
evil. I’ve been the “victim” of sugar-alcohol-laden sugar free candies before.
"MM54" (mm54mk2)
12/16/2017 at 22:40, STARS: 8
Looks like you’re trying to comment on a post
"Grindintosecond" (Grindintosecond)
12/16/2017 at 22:57, STARS: 1
If you can somehow source a box of hashbrown sleeves, Im sure he would need those
"Frenchlicker" (frenchlicker)
12/16/2017 at 23:03, STARS: 0
I’m going to go with a low estimate and say googling is how I spend 50% of my life.
"Wrong Wheel Drive (41%)" (rduncan5678)
12/16/2017 at 23:04, STARS: 0
I think an “upgrade” to Windows Vista would be better.
"shop-teacher" (shop-teacher)
12/16/2017 at 23:10, STARS: 1
A shrimp deveiner!
"AestheticsInMotion" (aestheticsinmotion)
12/16/2017 at 23:19, STARS: 2
Obscure kitchen gadgets could be its own subcategory, all placed in one box. I like this!
"Kiltedpadre" (kiltedpadre)
12/16/2017 at 23:42, STARS: 2
Chia pet? I vote for either Spongebob or Bob Ross.
One of those singing bass you’re supposed to hang on your wall.
If she has a cat you can buy an inflatable unicorn horn. Just look how happy that cat looks.
A coloring book dedicated to farting animals.
Maybe she needs a cookbook.
"AestheticsInMotion" (aestheticsinmotion)
12/16/2017 at 23:54, STARS: 0
Oh jeez. Is 10 really that bad?
"Tapas" (tapas)
12/17/2017 at 00:04, STARS: 2
I have just the right idea...
"shop-teacher" (shop-teacher)
12/17/2017 at 00:18, STARS: 1
Yes! Put one of those hard-boiled eggs slicers in there! Even when I was a kid, I would look at that thing sideways, and wonder why the hell my mom bought that.
"Wacko" (wacko--)
12/17/2017 at 00:31, STARS: 0
"AdverseMartyr" (ewilliamson)
12/17/2017 at 01:00, STARS: 0
Wouldn’t an old iPod be more useless to someone starting at Microsoft. An broken Zune would show company loyalty/fandom, and a great paperweight.
"AdverseMartyr" (ewilliamson)
12/17/2017 at 01:03, STARS: 1
Sock clips?
"gettingoldercarguy" (gettingoldercarguy)
12/17/2017 at 03:50, STARS: 0
A giant paper clip with eyes attached
"Tareim - V8 powered" (tareimgaml)
12/17/2017 at 05:23, STARS: 0
Based on the reviews, these work as expected https://www.amazon.com/Haribo-Gold-Bears-Delicious-Packaging-Packaging/dp/B000EVOSE4/ref=sr_1_3_a_it?ie=UTF8&qid=1513506068&sr=8-3&keywords=sugar+free+gummy+bears
"Wrong Wheel Drive (41%)" (rduncan5678)
12/17/2017 at 05:47, STARS: 0
I meant better as in a better gag. I have to hope Vista is worse. I’d rather have windows 98 than Vista lol. I haven’t tried 10 yet, or even 8 for that matter.
"boxrocket" (boxrocket)
12/17/2017 at 08:20, STARS: 0
Yes and no.
Yes: While the ipod wasn’t the first of its kind, it became the most popular of the mp3 players, and helped save apple. However it is somewhat insulting, and also shows support of a copycat device in function, and unoriginal design (I’m surprised Jonny Ive hasn’t changed his name to Dieter Rams at this point), and your friend/acquaintance needs positivity on their new path, not negativity.
No: 1) The Zune shows the failure to follow through on and fully support an otherwise good product on Microsoft’s part, something they’ve been getting too much practice at lately with Windows Phones/Mobile, Groove Music, Kinect, etc.
2) It’s also the butt of a generalized joke (which is why it was very appropriate that Peter Quill/Starlord received one at the end of Guardians of the Galaxy 2), like the Courier, Kin, Clippy, Microsoft Bob, Windows ME, etc. that is along the lines of Microsoft having good ideas, but so-so execution. Bob & Clippy led to Cortana, Alexa, Bixby, siri, Google Now, etc.
3) It would be a gag gift but also an inspiration on what can be, what not to do, and how to stand up and be committed even in the face of adversity.
"merged-5876237249235911857-hrw8uc" (merged-5876237249235911857-hrw8uc)
12/17/2017 at 09:41, STARS: 0
Albanese Candy Sugar Free Assorted Fruit Gummi Bears (1) 5 Pound Bag, Gummi Candy, Assorted Flavors, Gluten Free, Dairy Free, Fat Free https://www.amazon.com/dp/B00DE4GWWY/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_api_DgOnAbQ5AQC55
Reading the reviews, they live up to the haribo sugar free gummy bears.
"merged-5876237249235911857-hrw8uc" (merged-5876237249235911857-hrw8uc)
12/17/2017 at 09:44, STARS: 1
Oh my, I made something like this for my aunt many years ago, but filled it with the fake snow stuff. They moved to Florida, and it was chrstmas, so I thought they’d want a bit of snow... but these are diabolical. Good find.
"Recovering Gaijin" (toxrensem)
12/17/2017 at 20:56, STARS: 0
Toss a garlic peeler and tiny herb-grater in that box. Fondu set, maybe-a terribly tacky one if possible
"Recovering Gaijin" (toxrensem)
12/17/2017 at 21:00, STARS: 0
Does he Hipster? Give him Hipster-habit accoutrements: shaving mug and brush( pay for a 6-month $-Shave Club membership?). A trilby? Cards Against Humanity expansion pack. You get the drift
"Akio Ohtori - RIP Oppo" (akioohtori)
12/18/2017 at 14:43, STARS: 0
I am going with this for a friend. https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B01H3CQNRG/
