I Woke Up at 5:30 This Morning

Kinja'd!!! by "PatBateman" (PatBateman)
Published 12/16/2017 at 07:30

Tags: hour rule ; PatBateman’s Story Time Extravaganza
STARS: 5


Kinja'd!!!

Without an alarm clock. After a slightly annoying (not even bad) dream. Instead of trying to go back to sleep, I got up, had some coffee, took the dog out to pee, and watched a couple of road rage videos. Have I officially become one of THOSE old people?!

On the plus side, in my dream, I got to drive a couple of Ferraris and a new F-150, so I’ve got that going for me, which is nice.


Replies (31)

Kinja'd!!! "pip bip - choose Corrour" (hhgttg69)
12/16/2017 at 07:39, STARS: 0

getting old sucks

Kinja'd!!! "TheRealBicycleBuck" (therealbicyclebuck)
12/16/2017 at 07:51, STARS: 0

Not yet, but you’re getting there!

Kinja'd!!! "PatBateman" (PatBateman)
12/16/2017 at 08:05, STARS: 0

Indeed. But I’m also in the best shape of my life, so ¯\_()_/¯.

Kinja'd!!! "PatBateman" (PatBateman)
12/16/2017 at 08:06, STARS: 0

I’m already 40. Just waiting for those sweet AARP discounts.

Kinja'd!!! "pip bip - choose Corrour" (hhgttg69)
12/16/2017 at 08:13, STARS: 0

i’m not

Kinja'd!!! "E90M3" (e90m3)
12/16/2017 at 08:17, STARS: 0

I woke up at 7 this morning without an alarm clock. Played a couple of games of COD and now I’m having my coffee while I do some tire shopping. The M3 is getting all new tires soon.

Kinja'd!!! "Shoop" (shoopdawoop993)
12/16/2017 at 08:18, STARS: 1

I woke up at like 4 still drunk because i had to poop.

Its now 8am and i have no hangover. Oh boy do I love being 21.

Kinja'd!!! "Svend" (svend)
12/16/2017 at 08:24, STARS: 2

Getting old is making involuntary noises from your mouth as you get up from the chair or sit down, Sort of an ‘erp’ as you get up and a ‘hmmm’ as you sit down. Waking up during the night and needing to pee, but not really as it’s only a little amount, but even though you know it’ll only be a small amount, you’ll not want to risk it.

Trick to getting back to a warm bed if you sleep alone, fold your duvet back and then forward on itself at the foot of the bed, then sit on it as you take your slippers or whatever off, then when you get back in and pull the duvet up, the duvet will be nice and warm helping get back to sleep faster.

Kinja'd!!! "PatBateman" (PatBateman)
12/16/2017 at 08:26, STARS: 0

Diet. Work out. Inject yourself with the blood of younger, clean men. It makes a difference.

Kinja'd!!! "PatBateman" (PatBateman)
12/16/2017 at 08:27, STARS: 1

BFG All-Terrains. It’ll be unique!

Kinja'd!!! "PatBateman" (PatBateman)
12/16/2017 at 08:28, STARS: 4

Youth is wasted on the young.

Kinja'd!!! "E90M3" (e90m3)
12/16/2017 at 08:28, STARS: 0

I’ll make you a deal, you buy me another M3 and I’ll put some BFG All-Terrains on it.

Kinja'd!!! "PatBateman" (PatBateman)
12/16/2017 at 08:29, STARS: 1

I don’t make involuntary noises, but I do get up to pee in the middle of the night on occasion. It’s quite voluminous, though.

Kinja'd!!! "PatBateman" (PatBateman)
12/16/2017 at 08:30, STARS: 2

I’ll write it down on my “If I ever win the lottery” to-do list.

Kinja'd!!! "shop-teacher" (shop-teacher)
12/16/2017 at 08:35, STARS: 0

Can you add, “Fund mid-engined S-10 build for Shop-Teacher,” to that list?

Kinja'd!!! "PatBateman" (PatBateman)
12/16/2017 at 08:37, STARS: 0

It doesn’t need to be mid-engined. It can just be “ethanol-fueled 4.3 liter drag truck”.

Kinja'd!!! "shop-teacher" (shop-teacher)
12/16/2017 at 08:41, STARS: 1

You’re only one of those old people when you shake your fist at those damn hooligans driving like crazy through your neighborhood.

Related: my wife’s arch-nemisis is the hillbilly/damn kid who accelerates from every stop sign in our neighborhood at full throttle in his straight-piped GMT-400. He’s the reason we can’t sleep with our windows open on nice nights.

Kinja'd!!! "shop-teacher" (shop-teacher)
12/16/2017 at 08:47, STARS: 0

I want to build a road racing mid-engined S-10. I want it to look nearly stock, with the engine under a toneau cover.  For reasons. I guess.

Kinja'd!!! "Wobbles the Mind" (wobblesthemind)
12/16/2017 at 08:50, STARS: 1

Back in my day 5:30 in the morning was called, “Noon.” Get off my textiles!

Kinja'd!!! "fhrblig" (fhrblig)
12/16/2017 at 09:46, STARS: 0

Sleeping in for me anymore is 7 am. It’s very rare for me to be able to sleep past that, except maybe in winter when it’s darker later. In summer, forget it. I’m up at 5:30 or 6.

Kinja'd!!! "Urambo Tauro" (urambotauro)
12/16/2017 at 10:41, STARS: 0

I too dreamt that I had a Ferrari and was driving it around. The weird thing is, it looked a lot like a Porsche 944. Is there a Ferrari with a similar body shape?

Kinja'd!!! "PatBateman" (PatBateman)
12/16/2017 at 11:26, STARS: 0

I’ve been trying to wake up earlier, just as a general habit. It might have stuck.

Kinja'd!!! "PatBateman" (PatBateman)
12/16/2017 at 11:27, STARS: 1

I don’t think so.

I drive a 458 and an F40. My dad owned them. He also had a mansion, and I’m pretty sure he was a narco cartel leader.

Kinja'd!!! "diplodicus forgot his password" (diplodicusforgothispassword)
12/16/2017 at 13:36, STARS: 0

I’m only 26 and have literally told kids to get off my lawn.

Kinja'd!!! "MrDakka" (mrdakka)
12/16/2017 at 14:47, STARS: 0

Vampire!

Kinja'd!!! "PatBateman" (PatBateman)
12/17/2017 at 00:15, STARS: 0

You’re an old soul. Embrace it. And don’t forget to take your Centrum Silver.

Kinja'd!!! "TheRealBicycleBuck" (therealbicyclebuck)
12/18/2017 at 08:09, STARS: 0

In our neighborhood, the worst driver is one of the minivan driving soccer moms. The 1/4 mile to the back of the neighborhood is just too far for her to go the speed limit. She’s usually doing 40-5 0 mph by the time she gets to our house.

Kinja'd!!! "shop-teacher" (shop-teacher)
12/18/2017 at 09:02, STARS: 0

Oh damn, that’s crazy in a neighborhood. This guy doesn’t drive crazy fast, but always accelerates at full throttle, and that damn truck is LOUD! I don’t mind loud pipes, my ‘74 Buick Apollo had straight pipes and could wake the dead at full tilt, but I would never get on it in neighborhoods. That’s just a dick move.

Kinja'd!!! "TheRealBicycleBuck" (therealbicyclebuck)
12/18/2017 at 09:18, STARS: 0

Agreed. One of my neighbors had a GMC Sierra with an aftermarket exhaust. He lived across the street, two doors down, but the exhaust was loud enough to wake me when he started up the truck . He always did it about 15 minutes before I really wanted to get out of bed .

Kinja'd!!! "shop-teacher" (shop-teacher)
12/18/2017 at 09:28, STARS: 0

Ugh, that is annoying. Our guy drives around at all hours. He’s woken us up between 3-4am a few times.

Kinja'd!!! "TheRealBicycleBuck" (therealbicyclebuck)
12/18/2017 at 09:35, STARS: 0

That’s even worse than the loud stereos. We have some folks who are all about that bass. Fortunately, they are usually just visiting someone who lives here. The property behind us is rather large and the grandmother of the clan no longer lives there. The house was damaged in a storm when a tree fell on it. A few years later, they were getting it back to livable condition when it was inundated during a flood. Now the extended family only shows up to a) work on their hooptie cars while playing ridiculously loud stereos; b) have a gathering of extended family where they play loud stereos; or c) ride four-wheelers. None of these things make me happy. I’m really starting to enjoy rainy weekends because it’s a guarantee that they won’t be over there making a bunch of noise.