Painful experiences, ranked

Kinja'd!!! by "If only EssExTee could be so grossly incandescent" (essextee)
Published 12/05/2017 at 23:31

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8) A splinter

7) Stepping on a Lego

6) Bee sting

5) Stubbing your toe

4) Getting punched

3) Childbirth/Being hit in the nuts

2) Having your arm chewed off by a grizzly bear

1) Trying to pop a pimple right under your nose


Replies (40)

Kinja'd!!! "CB" (jrcb)
12/05/2017 at 23:38, STARS: 10

Where does the pain of existence fit on this?

Kinja'd!!! "Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo" (thetomselleck)
12/05/2017 at 23:43, STARS: 0

You forgot an ingrown hair about 4" left of your spine and 6" beneath your shoulder,

Kinja'd!!! "Daily Drives a Dragon - One Last Lap" (ddadragon)
12/05/2017 at 23:43, STARS: 1

Well I think this list is adding on to the pain of existence.

Kinja'd!!! "ThePenguin" (ThatOtherGuy7)
12/05/2017 at 23:43, STARS: 0

I believe that’s just implied.

Kinja'd!!! "Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo" (thetomselleck)
12/05/2017 at 23:43, STARS: 3

E X I S T E N T I A L O P P O

X

I

S

T

E

N

T

I

A

L

O

P

P

O

Kinja'd!!! "DipodomysDeserti" (dipodomysdeserti)
12/05/2017 at 23:44, STARS: 0

I’ve watched my wife give two natural births in my home. Definitely gotta be number one. For me:

1) Broken wrist

2) stomach tattoo

3) vasectomy

Kinja'd!!! "JGrabowMSt" (jgrabowmst)
12/05/2017 at 23:46, STARS: 0

I guess you have never experienced a tooth infection. I have discussed this with a mother of three, from her own experience, the tooth infection is significantly worse.

For future reference, salicylic acid.

Kinja'd!!! "If only EssExTee could be so grossly incandescent" (essextee)
12/05/2017 at 23:47, STARS: 0

I’ve luckily avoided any surgeries thus far in life.

Kinja'd!!! "Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo" (thetomselleck)
12/05/2017 at 23:48, STARS: 4

Needs more car theme:

3) getting your fingers shut on via sliding door on a K-car Caravan

2) fixing a gas leak and getting fuel all over your bare hands in freezing temperatures

1) struts on your hatchback fail and the hatch lands directly on top of your head, blood gushing down your scalp into your face and bringing you to your knees in umbridaled pain and shock

Kinja'd!!! "interstate366, now In The Industry" (interstate366)
12/05/2017 at 23:48, STARS: 0

As someone who plans to get a vasectomy within the next couple years, how painful was it? Just out of curiosity.

Kinja'd!!! "MonkeePuzzle" (monkeypuzzle)
12/05/2017 at 23:48, STARS: 0

whats a with all the touchy feely human bs

- losing 10mm socket?

- ar theft

- busted knuckles?

- having the auto parts store guy hide the parts screen from you so you can’t make an informed decision?

Kinja'd!!! "facw" (facw)
12/05/2017 at 23:53, STARS: 0

I’ve had a Previa’s sliding door slammed on my hand. Honestly it hurt significantly less than I would have expected (still hurt, but expected it to break a bunch of bones in my hand).

Can’t say I’ve experienced the other two.

Kinja'd!!! "smobgirl" (smobgirl)
12/05/2017 at 23:54, STARS: 3

Oh god. When I first had a bike rack on the trunk of an old car it slammed itself shut unexpectedly (slight breeze) and one of the arms smashed into my nose. Could’ve broken it, who knows. Agony, shock and fury combined is the worst. I was in the middle of nowhere with no ice and it was as much of a mental breakdown as physical pain.

Kinja'd!!! "smobgirl" (smobgirl)
12/05/2017 at 23:56, STARS: 2

Pulling the splinter out after 4 years when it finally gets close enough to the surface is pretty cool though.

Kinja'd!!! "Dusty Ventures" (dustyventures)
12/05/2017 at 23:59, STARS: 0

Where does nutshot land on this list?

Kinja'd!!!

Kinja'd!!! "LOREM IPSUM" (lorem---ipsum)
12/06/2017 at 00:00, STARS: 0

This was up there:

Came home from work, took off boots and socks and:

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Kinja'd!!!

Kinja'd!!!

The next morning I couldn’t get my boots on, but that didn’t stop me from going to work. Did a little shoe-surgery and was on my stilts, right on schedule.

Kinja'd!!!

Kinja'd!!! "Dusty Ventures" (dustyventures)
12/06/2017 at 00:04, STARS: 0

I have a modification for the fuel on hands one. I was crewing a rally in -9° F (not C, F) temperatures. I was getting ready to refuel the car and had gloves on. Turns out the cap on the fuel can wasn’t secure, the gas ran out and completely soaked my gloves with -9° fuel. It was like having two big freezing sponges on my hands. I was seriously worried about permanent damage, especially after taking my gloves off.

Kinja'd!!!

Kinja'd!!!

Kinja'd!!! "Dusty Ventures" (dustyventures)
12/06/2017 at 00:05, STARS: 1

You had an incident where you didn’t break a bone??

Kinja'd!!! "smobgirl" (smobgirl)
12/06/2017 at 00:06, STARS: 0

Eek!

Kinja'd!!! "Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo" (thetomselleck)
12/06/2017 at 00:08, STARS: 1

No no no no no

NO

Kinja'd!!! "Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo" (thetomselleck)
12/06/2017 at 00:09, STARS: 11

You kind of left out the part where you explain how that happened

Kinja'd!!! "Baskingshark" (Baskingsharks)
12/06/2017 at 00:14, STARS: 1

I got one a few months ago and it was disappointingly painless. I was planning on being laid up for a few days without any responsibilities and I was totally fine afterwards.

Kinja'd!!! "DipodomysDeserti" (dipodomysdeserti)
12/06/2017 at 00:19, STARS: 1

I got the needle for the anesthetic which felt exactly like you’d think a needle in your nuts would feel like. After that it’s more mental than anything as you can feel tugging but no pain. Recovery just feels like you got kicked in the balls. Tight underwear (H&M undies look and feel good) and ice.

Kinja'd!!! "DipodomysDeserti" (dipodomysdeserti)
12/06/2017 at 00:21, STARS: 0

Dude, my balls hurt for like a week. I’ve broken bones and not realized it, so I have a pretty high pain tolerance. Not sure what my deal was.

Kinja'd!!! "LOREM IPSUM" (lorem---ipsum)
12/06/2017 at 00:37, STARS: 0

Chapped, cracked nostrils when you have a cold are on my list too.

...also, slipping a wrench and peeling back the flesh down to the cartilage and bone. That sucked too.

Metal lodged in the cornea is irritating, but not as painful as one might think.

...though having your big toenail ripped off of your foot hurts every bit as you’d imagine.

Kinja'd!!! "unclevanos (Ovaltine Jenkins)" (unclevanos)
12/06/2017 at 01:26, STARS: 0

1) Hit your shins against a bobcat skid steer bucket. Solid steel bucket. They were swollen for 4 days

2) bed bug bites. I’m allergic to mosquito bites and bug bites. Two incidents. First at hotel left my forehead, right arm, and legs swollen like each one had a chestburster ready to come out. The bites felt like I was burning and itched like no tomorrow. When you didn’t scratch and feel on fire, the bites felt like I had a constant zap of electricity. I lived off antihistamines and benadryl cream when I had them.

Kinja'd!!! "pip bip - choose Corrour" (hhgttg69)
12/06/2017 at 04:36, STARS: 0

number one needs to be being an English cricket supporter.

Kinja'd!!! "If only EssExTee could be so grossly incandescent" (essextee)
12/06/2017 at 05:37, STARS: 0

Did you even read the list?

Kinja'd!!! "If only EssExTee could be so grossly incandescent" (essextee)
12/06/2017 at 06:30, STARS: 0

That last one seems oddly specific

Kinja'd!!! "MoCamino" (mocamino)
12/06/2017 at 06:46, STARS: 1

Honestly wasn’t THAT bad. The local anesthetic going in was uncomfortable and was the worst part of the procedure itself. Post-op didn’t hurt as bad as everyone said it would - really just a dull ache for a couple days. Keep three or four bags of frozen peas in the freezer for ice packs and LISTEN when they say not to lift anything heavy for a few days.

Kinja'd!!! "shop-teacher" (shop-teacher)
12/06/2017 at 07:13, STARS: 1

Everyone is different. They actually put me under for mine, because the doc said I have, “Difficult anatomy.”

Kinja'd!!! "shop-teacher" (shop-teacher)
12/06/2017 at 07:15, STARS: 1

Mine wasn’t bad. A few days of feeling sore, a few weeks of mild discomfort, and then freedom. It was totally worth it.

Kinja'd!!! "shop-teacher" (shop-teacher)
12/06/2017 at 07:16, STARS: 0

What the shit?!?!?! How?

Kinja'd!!! "Dusty Ventures" (dustyventures)
12/06/2017 at 07:48, STARS: 0

What’s “read?”

Apparently I skimmed too fast. I saw childbirth at #3 but missed that it was a shared position

Kinja'd!!! "Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo" (thetomselleck)
12/06/2017 at 08:20, STARS: 1

Did your doctor compliment your genitals??? Could be worse I suppose.

Kinja'd!!! "Smallbear wants a modern Syclone, local Maple Leafs spammer" (smallbear94)
12/06/2017 at 08:32, STARS: 0

No way the nutshot can be in the same place as childbirth. One only lasts for minutes at worst, unless you actually manage to crush them.

My own personal #1 has got to be a sinus infection. For reference, I have all my dental work done without freezing because I hate it—and I’ve had a metric shitton of fillings. When I partially dislocated my shoulder my reaction wasn’t pain but “I think something’s fucked”. All in all I like to think I have fairly high tolerance. Sinus infection?

Kinja'd!!!

Lasted for two and a bit weeks. At the peak I spent most of my time in the fetal position whimpering and squeezing a pillow around my head as hard as I could.

Kinja'd!!! "shop-teacher" (shop-teacher)
12/06/2017 at 08:59, STARS: 0

Pretty much, yeah :)

Kinja'd!!! "If only EssExTee could be so grossly incandescent" (essextee)
12/06/2017 at 09:22, STARS: 1

Childbith vs nutshot is a debate as old as time and I wasn’t about to open up that can of worms by ranking one over the other.

Kinja'd!!! "If only EssExTee could be so grossly incandescent" (essextee)
12/06/2017 at 09:24, STARS: 0

Childbirth v nutshot is an age old debate and I didn’t want to rank one over the other lest arguments start.

Kinja'd!!! "TheRealBicycleBuck" (therealbicyclebuck)
12/06/2017 at 14:50, STARS: 0

My mom birthed a child (me!) and also had gall stones. She said the gall stones were way worse.

I had gall stones and they hurt like hell. Imagine a nutshot that just keeps on giving. Fifteen minutes later, the nutshot has subsided. With the stones, I would have sworn that someone shot me with an arrow, piercing through me from solar plexus to the middle of my back. Gall stone pain doesn’t go away until you have surgery to fix the problem.  

Earlier this year I had a dry socket after oral surgery. This happens when the wound doesn’t close properly and leaves the bone exposed. The only way to fix it is to have them re-suture the wound.

My list would be:

1. Gall stones
2. Dry socket
3. Cutting the end of my index finger off (right at the top of the fingernail, they sewed it back on)
4. Tearing my calf muscle
5. Tearing the cartilage in my left knee
6. Breaking my arm