Land Rover Unveils Sports Car

by "functionoverfashion" (functionoverfashion)
Published 12/04/2017 at 22:00

No Tags
STARS: 2

Having long since mastered the SUV game with not only the Defender which is known worldwide for its rugged, utilitarian nature, but also the Range Rover which arguably started and still defines the Luxury SUV market; Land Rover announced today that instead of following in the footsteps of the likes of Lamborghini and unveiling yet another money-printing but enthusiast-soul-crushing SUV, they would be unveiling a sports car.

And not just any old sports car, but rather, something groundbreaking, something incredible. Class-defining, once again. For years, people will be talking about this model as “the one kids put on their bedroom wall” and its profile will be recognizable for generations to come. A crowd of eager journalists gathered at the Land Rover booth at today’s auto show to watch the curtain peel back, and with a puff of suspiciously white, powdery smoke .... BEHOLD:

When asked to comment, a Land Rover spokesperson gave a worried glance over his shoulder, sniffled, and said, “What? Wait, I’m sorry I thought you were someone else. What did you ask me? Oh, right, the car! Yeah we think it’ll be a hit with our target market, especially as we’ve been working on a fully autonomous driving mode for um, for some reasons. Man, it’s got some horsepower, though. I mean, it must, right? Just look at it! Did you see those wheels though?”

Expect prices to start around $whocares and reach nearly $holyshit with options.

Replies (4)

"carcrasher88" (carcrasher88)
12/04/2017 at 23:22, STARS: 1

You know, if Land Rover DID decide to make a sports car that also happened to utilize the brand’s knowledge of building tough, capable (problematic electricals aside) off-roaders, that would be a pretty awesome thing.

I mean, the French did it in the mid-90's with the Mega Track.

https://jalopnik.com/386559/mega-track-our-kind-of-crossover

It would certainly be a daunting task, but I’m sure it wouldn’t be too hard for JLR’s Special Vehicle Operations.

"SpeedSix" (speedsix)
12/04/2017 at 23:52, STARS: 0

Indeed, offroad racing is a sport as well.

"Tapas" (tapas)
12/05/2017 at 00:11, STARS: 0

Or they could build a Bowler style trophy truck!

"Distraxi's idea of perfection is a Jagroen" (distraxi)
12/05/2017 at 03:53, STARS: 1

They’d probably tell you they’ve already done it, with the SVR Range Rover Sport.

Stupidly powerful, mashes corners into submission with brute grip and electronics - that’s a sports car nowadays, right?