by "Mercedes Streeter" (smart)
Published 12/04/2017 at 20:31
by "Mercedes Streeter" (smart)
Published 12/04/2017 at 20:31
Tags: Burn it all down!!!
STARS: 0
I accept that I’ve made mistakes in my life. These mistakes range in severity from what I assume to be not so bad to absolutely horrible. Regardless, I accept that I’m human and am not perfect.
Life also isn’t perfect. Just because you invest so much of anything into something or someone doesn’t mean it is meant to be. Part of being an adult is knowing when to quit.
I’ve been living with my parents for the past two weeks. I feel safe here. My house has been a black hole that swallows my happiness for a couple months now. Every day is a game of checking the alarm system to see if it’s been set on fire, worrying that someone is going to rob me, or maybe tonight’s the night I get murdered. I hate coming home to my own house, I hate literally everything about that stupid pile of wood and brick.
I’ve also come to a realization: This isn’t my dream house. My dream house is either a retired trijet airliner or a glass and steel warehouse for my cars with a bedroom, bathroom, and kitchen.
Some good things have happened, both of my tenants are gone. My house is now empty.
Not so fast... *Sigh* So the first evicted tenant (the drug dealer), the neighbour, and the neighbour’s boyfriend harassed my parents today. The drug dealer started it by getting out a lawn chair and eating popcorn while laughing as my parents talked to and hugged the newly evicted tenant.
My parents - weirded out by their audience - decided to move up the driveway. The drug dealer picked up her chair and followed. My parents moved again. Wherever my parents went, the drug dealer followed with her popcorn. Eventually, my parents just went inside the house to finish talking to the freshly evicted tenant and his mom.
Upon exiting the house, all three of them (drug dealer, neighbour, boyfriend) then started screaming at my parents, dancing, and laying on their car horns. They were literally screaming some of the worst obscenities my parents have ever heard. Nobody on our end said anything to any of them throughout the whole attack. This all happened unprovoked.
The neighbour then decided to do a “victory lap” around the neighbourhood. She got in her car, laid on the horn, tried to ram the ex tenant’s mom’s car, then peeled out down the street while fist bumping (still on the horn).
The police? Ha they’re quite useless. Courts? Even more so. I’m literally on my own.
I’m faced with a challenge. The mortgage is going to go up with the refi. I’m not going to want to pay for a giant house in which I live by myself. I don’t want roommates either...I just, I just can’t do it after all of this. I need to be by myself.
Naturally, my parents don’t want this to happen. Me moving out means my brother moves in. With him comes a wife, three kids, and two very destructive dogs.
My parents say I should stand my ground and don’t let assholes run me out of my house. While true, I just don’t want the house anymore. I don’t feel safe, I don’t want to rely on roommates so I can have financial freedom. I don’t like a daily reminder that I fucked up.
I fucked up, I admit that. Do I deserve what’s happening now? I’m not sure anymore, but I do know that I want out. I want to start over someplace new, someplace I can **comfortably** afford by myself. I don’t have to sell the house but I don’t have to live there either. Heck, my mom also owns the house so I don’t even have to be the landlord.
I do need to note that I’m not depressed, I’m actually pretty happy since moving out. However, this house is driving me absolutely full of anger and equal amounts fear and anxiety.
Idk, am I crazy? Should I stick it out? Or should I do what I should have done long ago and get far away from the house?
In lighter news, my mom took me Torrid shopping on my birthday! :D
"bob and john" (bobandjohn)
12/04/2017 at 20:35, STARS: 1
cops are useless eh?
paint ball gun or airsoft.
"CB" (jrcb)
12/04/2017 at 20:39, STARS: 0
Honestly? If you’re not happy in your home, move. Because the neighbours will still be there no matter what, and like you said, you don’t want roommates.
"average user" (avgusr)
12/04/2017 at 20:41, STARS: 5
Which state do you live in? If they are even an inch within the property line, shoot them and claim stand your ground. It will be the one time the NRA is your friend.
"RPM esq." (rpm3)
12/04/2017 at 20:45, STARS: 3
Sell the house. Start fresh in a place that doesn’t carry the emotional baggage. That’s hardly the path of least resistance, but it sounds like you’ll be happier in the end.
"Mercedes Streeter" (smart)
12/04/2017 at 20:45, STARS: 1
Airsoft. ;)
My brother is getting involved in this now. He isn’t afraid to stand his ground with potentially lethal force.
"Kiltedpadre" (kiltedpadre)
12/04/2017 at 20:46, STARS: 3
I can certainly understand your desire to not have any roommates; at least not for the near future. Given the last couple that you have had anyone in their right mind would be soured on the prospect.
I hate to think of you leaving a home that you were so excited about. However, at the end of the day you need to be somewhere that you feel safe. I know you mentioned before that the neighbors are convinced that the lady that lives next door and has been a part of your troubles will be gone soon. Do you have any concrete reason to believe this is true? If so it might be worth it to stick it out and see how your feelings about the place have changed once the place isn’t right beside someone that has been such a terrible part of the whole experience. If she is staying and by extension the drug-dealing ex-roommate it would probably be best for your long term mental health to not be around them anymore if at all possible.
Hopefully this latest birthday marks things starting to turn around for you. It certainly sounds like things are at least better between yourself and your parents compared to how they used to be.
"Wacko" (wacko--)
12/04/2017 at 20:47, STARS: 3
Are you renting the house from your parents?
And if you brother moves in he will be paying rent too. If so this is the perfect opportunity for you to go live by yourself in a smaller place. Store your extra cars at you parents, or sell them if you can’t.
Like I already said you home should be your escape from the craziness of life, not the major source of it.
Reading things like this makes me so happy to live in rural area.
"sm70- why not Duesenberg?" (sm70-whynotduesenberg)
12/04/2017 at 20:48, STARS: 0
This place you are living sounds like a crazy-hole. I’d move too. Get somewhere where you feel safe and comfortable.
In a very basic sense this is the same reason I’m moving out of my dorm. No sense living somewhere where you aren’t comfortable.
"JGrabowMSt" (jgrabowmst)
12/04/2017 at 20:50, STARS: 1
Come to New Jersey!
"Chariotoflove" (chariotoflove)
12/04/2017 at 20:52, STARS: 0
Well for one thing, record that behavior. For another, sell that house because you. Did not have the money to let that go. Finally, and you never heard me say this, if it were me suffering shenanigans, I’d find some creative ways to retaliate with my own. Cops useless to you, you say? Well then they will be equally useless to your antagonists. Turn a liability into an advantage.
"Mercedes Streeter" (smart)
12/04/2017 at 20:55, STARS: 0
Ha, I’m never selling the cars, I’d rather get a storage unit for like $45/mo.
But no, I own the house and pay the mortgage I have jointly with my mum. We got the house expecting to make it a rental property but I ended up moving in instead.
Realistically I can move out, move someone else in, then profit.
"My bird IS the word" (mybirdistheword)
12/04/2017 at 21:03, STARS: 2
I would gtfo. What you are describing, honestly, sounds unbelievable to me. Not to call BS, too weirdly specific that I will believe it.This kind of thing is not supposed to happen. I have heard stories of
some incredible bullshit, but usually it is just asshole neighbors. This is some next level stuff you are describing, and I don’t want you to think that this is some kind of normal thing to happen, because it isn’t. If you leave this is so incredibly unlikely to happen again. These are clearly some disturbed mofos. Stupid, which may be fortunate or not depending how you look at it.
Option 2 would be to get it on camera, and threaten to go to the news. If the cops won’t do their jobs, then you embarrass them on national television. This option, obviously, only escalates the situation.
From your posts, I can surmise that you don’t want that so distance, distance, distance is the name of the game. If they are that insane, make sure all involved have no way of finding you (facebook, mail forwarding ect) and put yourself in a different situation. Hopefully that resolves things. Should that not be successful, you have a serious problem. I would look for a more “permanent” solution at that point.
Do they have any excuse to hang around? Is it possible to stay for a trial period and hope they leave? Or is this the kind of thing where they just move down the street?
"random001" (random001)
12/04/2017 at 21:04, STARS: 1
I also wanted to live in a giant garage with enough room to sleep and eat, and just work on cars. Come on lottery winnings!
"Textured Soy Protein" (texturedsoyprotein)
12/04/2017 at 21:04, STARS: 1
This shit keeps moving too fast.
Honestly I think you should sell the house and start over. If these people are nearby and toxic there’s no point in continuing to be around. Yeah it sucks to have to be the one to make a move but these people seem to have some kind of vendetta and the only solution is to remove yourself from the situation.
Sell the house, stick around with your parents for a bit until it sells, then figure out your next move.
"TorqueToYield" (torquetoyield)
12/04/2017 at 21:07, STARS: 1
The first step when you’ve fucked up is admitting you’ve fucked up. You got that. The next step is to cut your losses and move on. If you’re deep in a hole the first thing you have to do is stop digging.
If you hate the house, cut your losses, sell the place, maybe it costs you some money, maybe it doesn’t. Either way you get rid of a house you don’t want to live in and now are free to move on.
I had a half dozen crazy abusive/crazy roommates in college and decided to never live with somebody again (minus my wife). Best decision I’ve ever made.
Living situation / housing (at least for me) is the single biggest factor in my happiness and mental health. It’s great coming home to a house where I’m safe, comfortable, relaxed, not bothered. There’s always going to be shit to deal with but it’s the difference between normal shit (oh no the plumbing is leaking / the heat isn’t working / my dog pooped on the carpet) to ridiculous shit (my coke dealer roommate is held up at gunpoint again - yup, dealt with that one before).
"Saracen" (manualdoucheelitist)
12/04/2017 at 21:11, STARS: 0
I’ve been reading your saga as it has unfolded. It’s a bad situation all around, you’ll be better off getting out if it. Sell the house and start over. No question.
Oh and I’m with you. I’d LOVE to live in a warehouse loft with lots of cars.
"Wacko" (wacko--)
12/04/2017 at 21:17, STARS: 3
Then Rent the fucker out and profit from it. Sell it when you need the cash for your next house.
"DC3 LS, will be perpetually replacing cars until the end of time" (dc3ls-)
12/04/2017 at 21:18, STARS: 1
Illinois iirc, so I don’t think that would work.
"DC3 LS, will be perpetually replacing cars until the end of time" (dc3ls-)
12/04/2017 at 21:19, STARS: 2
“My parents say I should stand my ground and don’t let assholes run me out of my house.”
As the saying goes. “He who fights, but runs away. Lives to fight another day.”
"AMGtech - now with more recalls!" (amgtech)
12/04/2017 at 21:26, STARS: 1
I’m glad things are clearing up for you. If you consider moving, you might consider Portland. Very friendly to smarts and trans people. Beautiful scenery, tons of stuff to do, and a built in friend/mechanic! As long as there’s beer involved for any work done on smarts Normally I tell people not to move here, because everyone is doing it lately, but they’re doing it for good reason, and you would be a welcome addition.
"Mini Guy- Now has a 4Runner" (gavinharter30)
12/04/2017 at 21:43, STARS: 0
Please do it. If I were in your shoes, I would’ve moved out when druggy started dealing the good good.
"Rusty Vandura - www.tinyurl.com/keepoppo" (rustyvandura)
12/04/2017 at 22:04, STARS: 1
"Rusty Vandura - www.tinyurl.com/keepoppo" (rustyvandura)
12/04/2017 at 22:05, STARS: 2
IM gives good advice. Don’t listen to me.
"Saab wagon is best wagon-now with less Saab" (saabwagon)
12/04/2017 at 22:13, STARS: 0
Call.
The.
Feds.
The DEA will get all over their asses, the FBI will do a better job keeping an eye on you and making sure you’re ok than the cops will.
"TomServo (Resides on the Satellite of Love)" (mk7silkblue)
12/04/2017 at 22:52, STARS: 0
Have you gotten an attorney? Here’s the thing with rentals, you own the house, and if there isn’t something in a contract, I worry that the renters could sue you. Don’t take stuff to forums, get a lawyer and see what they advise you to do.
"TomServo (Resides on the Satellite of Love)" (mk7silkblue)
12/04/2017 at 22:54, STARS: 2
I’ve heard of crazy stuff with rentals. Think nutjob landlord brandishing weapons, stalking and then attempting to sue for emotional distress.
"Mercedes Streeter" (smart)
12/04/2017 at 23:13, STARS: 1
We have a form of stand your ground here, but after going through the courts once with these people and losing, I doubt bringing a gun into it will make life any easier.
"Mercedes Streeter" (smart)
12/04/2017 at 23:23, STARS: 1
Right now my mum and I agreed that I’ll sit it out at her house for a while to see what happens. I removed all easily movable valuables from the home. All that remains are expensive pieces of furniture in the living room and basically cheap tools in my bedroom.
A part of me hopes they burn down the house. The insurance policy is worth way more than the house is and it would give both my mum and I an out. Plus, an arson charge would get rid of the harasser trio really quickly.
As for the home, I think I was more excited that I owned a nice home with a nice garage than I was about the house itself. The reality is that I could happy in any nice house and even happier in a house that even better fits my wants! :)
"Rusty Vandura - www.tinyurl.com/keepoppo" (rustyvandura)
12/05/2017 at 07:59, STARS: 0
!!! UNKNOWN CONTENT TYPE !!!
"So Shiney. So Chrome! So Frunky" (badams109)
12/05/2017 at 09:12, STARS: 1
As far as dream house: A home is somewhere you feel safe and comfortable. A house is a building that serves a purpose. An outhouse is a house filled with shit and no one dreams of having one. So I say bail and find yourself a home. I’ve lived so many places since I left IL for college that anymore I can call a tent home as long as it’s where my wife and my dogs are.
"Mercedes Streeter" (smart)
12/05/2017 at 22:01, STARS: 1
Wow, that has to be the best explanation of home vs house ever. Thank you so much for that! <3
We’ve decided to wait it out. If the mortgage stays the same or goes down AND the neighbour gets kicked out, I’ll move back in. If not, I’m getting the heck out with my sanity. lol
"Mercedes Streeter" (smart)
12/05/2017 at 22:06, STARS: 0
While I’m the primary owner of the house, my mum is still the secondary owner. She isn’t going to sell it unless things get really worse. Selling the house would come at a $200k loss overall since the renovations aren’t yet finished.
I do like option 1 though. Rent it out and get some sweet cash to pay my rent somewhere else!
"Mercedes Streeter" (smart)
12/05/2017 at 22:22, STARS: 0
This is some next level stuff you are describing, and I don’t want you to think that this is some kind of normal thing to happen, because it isn’t.
The sad thing is that it’s normal for my life. Even when things aren’t my fault (one can argue that had I never met drug dealer girl that none of this would have ever happened) they tend to be over the top crazy. When things are “normal”, all that seems to be is forewarning for something terrible coming.
The news idea isn’t half-bad., actually...I really love it! My only concern comes with the equipment required for such. I’m not sure I want to invest so much money into a house I may decide not to live in anymore anyway.
So, the next door neighbour moved in the first tenant we evicted (the trans woman who felt a drug lab is an appropriate thing to have in a house you don’t own). The girl cried that she was being abused and evicted for no reason. She told a bunch of lies to get the next door neighbour to hate us. That neighbour knows how useless the police are so she has no qualms about harassing us or vandalizing the property. She knows that she can counter any claim we make with an equally absurd (but false) claim and get the courts to drop the case. This is why my house has gone through so many owners in recent years...nobody wants to deal with this pretty much flat out evil woman.
Rumour in the neighbourhood (everyone hates her) has it that the house she lives in isn’t hers (belongs to ex-husband) and that the owner will be taking it back soon. We hope that’s true. So I’m just going to stick it out with my parents for a little while and see what happens. Regardless though, if the mortgage goes up with the refi I’m calling quits anyway.
"Mercedes Streeter" (smart)
12/05/2017 at 22:27, STARS: 0
This shit keeps moving too fast.
Shit, now you see how I feel. Before I can even begin to take a deep breath because we’ve resolved one issue another hits head on. lol
Thankfully we don’t have to sell the house. Technically I could just move in tenants, move myself out, and use the rent money to pay both my own rent and the mortgage (assuming it doesn’t skyrocket). If we sell the house, we’ll come out at a rather large loss because the renovations are only half complete and my parents put a mortgage on the house to pay for them.
I’m pretty much on #TeamMoveOut right now, though I’m sticking it out with my parents to see things through to resolution...or as close to resolution that I can get.
"Mercedes Streeter" (smart)
12/05/2017 at 22:30, STARS: 0
Aggggh very very very good selling points! I have a dream to move out West...I guess the three biggest factors stopping me are my fears of having to truly start from scratch again, leaving behind some amazing people that may as well be family to me, and the fact that luck never seems to be on my side. lol
I guess like my thoughts that maybe I should have become a pilot, I’m still young enough to take such a big chance! :D
"My bird IS the word" (mybirdistheword)
12/05/2017 at 22:35, STARS: 0
My parents had some shit with my neighbor years ago, lawsuits, threatening to kill my mother, ect. He’s tried some serious bullshit over the years, fortunately he is too old to actually cause serious damage. Got to the point where we don’t talk to him and basically have the perfect ammo for a harassment suit. He leaves us alone now. He has been pretty docile for the last~10 ish years and I relish the fact that I know he is going to die miserable and alone.
So on your trial period, just ignore ‘em. May not be a perfect solution, but it works.
My personal opinion is that I don’t start fights, I end them. Game theory is super useful, it helps remove the personal aspect and opens options (such as public embarrassment) that you may not have considered otherwise. Sometimes all it takes is a bit of clever thinking and leverage.
If none is available....just remember, people “disappear” all the time. It might be time to buy a car with a bigger trunk ;)
"AMGtech - now with more recalls!" (amgtech)
12/06/2017 at 01:44, STARS: 0
Most people’s biggest regrets come from chances they didn’t take.
"no1unorightnow" (no1unorightnow)
12/14/2017 at 19:48, STARS: 0
If you need someplace cheap with a garage big enough for a few Smart cars, there are plenty of places like that here in the middle of some Iowa suburbs!
"no1unorightnow" (no1unorightnow)
12/18/2017 at 18:42, STARS: 1
What *are* your wants for your house?
"Mercedes Streeter" (smart)
12/18/2017 at 18:50, STARS: 0
My wants are to move out, start somewhere else, then rent the house to someone who needs it more than I do. The proceeds from the rent can reduce the cost of living for wherever I choose to live. The rental value of the house is worth $1,300 more than the mortgage.
I’ve long contemplated the possibility that the neighbour would move out this month or next month. While them disappearing is great, they still know where I live and can return to do whatever they want to me whenever. The same holds true for the domestic abuser and his criminal girlfriend. I honestly wouldn’t feel safe, fearing one day I’ll return to arson.
Besides, I don’t have any need or desire for 4 bedrooms. Those bedrooms would be empty for years.