Oh No No No No No

by "Stef Schrader" (stefschrader)
Published 12/01/2017 at 00:38

Tags: nightmares in song form ; Tim Hortons ; Timbits ; Give Stef Timbits ; coffee ; caffeine
STARS: 3

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No no no no no NO NO NO NO TIMBITS MUST BE WASHED DOWN WITH CAFFEINE NO!

Replies (37)

"The Crazy Kanuck; RIP Oppositelock" (jukesjukesjukes)
12/01/2017 at 00:47, STARS: 2

Tim Hortons is terrible, even rally duck agrees.

"LOREM IPSUM" (lorem---ipsum)
12/01/2017 at 00:52, STARS: 1

100% agreed. Tim Hortons is horrible. Literally never again. I’d rather drink rainwater out of a mud puddle.

"The Crazy Kanuck; RIP Oppositelock" (jukesjukesjukes)
12/01/2017 at 01:03, STARS: 1

Their new dark roast is not bad. The last time I stopped there it was 2:30am, & I had 3 more hours of Highway driving to get home. It was the only place open at that time, I needed coffee to stay awake.

"CTSenVy" (CTSenVy)
12/01/2017 at 01:06, STARS: 0

Problem solved.

"CarsofFortLangley - Oppo Forever" (carsoffortlangley)
12/01/2017 at 01:09, STARS: 0

It’s so horrible.

"LOREM IPSUM" (lorem---ipsum)
12/01/2017 at 01:39, STARS: 0

I do like a good dark roast, but I’ll have to take your word on the Timmys variant. A few years ago I swore that I would never eat or drink anything from Hortons again, and haven’t been back since.

"Tapas" (tapas)
12/01/2017 at 02:02, STARS: 0

Are Tim bits good anymore? I heard that after their got acquired, the stores stopped baking on site :(

"For Sweden" (rallybeetle)
12/01/2017 at 02:02, STARS: 0

There are no French lyrics I’m reporting you to Her Majesty’s authorities.

"SpeedSix" (speedsix)
12/01/2017 at 02:47, STARS: 1

The Arrogant Worms also made this gem, though.

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And this.

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"xyzabc" (stackofoldwood)
12/01/2017 at 02:58, STARS: 1

Not really... Canadian Mountain Dew doesn’t contain the same level of “Caffeine” as the USA version.

So like, so-ree...eh?

"Stef Schrader" (stefschrader)
12/01/2017 at 05:44, STARS: 0

a) she’s a chicken

b) more Timbits for me

"Stef Schrader" (stefschrader)
12/01/2017 at 05:53, STARS: 0

I just kind of view the coffee for what it is: decent, serviceable “donut shop” coffee. Not as acrid as Starbucks’ regular roasts, not as complex/flavorful as the good stuff. Really, really good coffee comes from a place that specializes in the stuff, preferably to the nerdy point of offering locally-roasted, single-origin nerd stuff pulled into a foamy latte that’s the smooth, comforting drink equivalent of a hug in a cup.

Timbits without coffee feels like a sin.

That being said, the weird elevation of “donut shop coffee” on K-cups as if it’s some kind of desirable thing you’d want in a coffee is, um. Well. This is why I give the side-eye to people who like Keurigs beyond “well, it’s convenient and easy.”

"Stef Schrader" (stefschrader)
12/01/2017 at 05:53, STARS: 2

Eeeeeew that’s not a coffee.

"Stef Schrader" (stefschrader)
12/01/2017 at 05:55, STARS: 2

They’re my favorite lil’ garbage balls that we don’t get here. I’m not sure how they’re made anymore beyond “I’m not sure I want to know how they’re made and/or how bad these actually are for me.”

"Stef Schrader" (stefschrader)
12/01/2017 at 06:14, STARS: 0

Moo.

"Jarrett - [BRZ Boi]" (jarrettw)
12/01/2017 at 07:34, STARS: 1

How fitting. I just got back to my desk with my ice capp :)

"Smallbear wants a modern Syclone, local Maple Leafs spammer" (smallbear94)
12/01/2017 at 08:00, STARS: 0

Dark roast is good. The rest is hot water.

Gotta figure they’ll step up their game sooner or later though since McD’s is...

"Smallbear wants a modern Syclone, local Maple Leafs spammer" (smallbear94)
12/01/2017 at 08:01, STARS: 2

I have no idea where they’re made but they’re definitely still good

"Tapas" (tapas)
12/01/2017 at 08:09, STARS: 1

I’m happy to hear that. I will be moving to Canadia soon :)

"CTSenVy" (CTSenVy)
12/01/2017 at 09:47, STARS: 1

What they ruined the Dew,

"nerd_racing" (nerd189)
12/01/2017 at 10:03, STARS: 0

Do they even have tim hortons by you? I thought it was a Canuck/Northern thing?

"Stef Schrader" (stefschrader)
12/01/2017 at 11:49, STARS: 1

#NotMyMonarch

"Stef Schrader" (stefschrader)
12/01/2017 at 11:49, STARS: 0

Can vouch for the dark roast. Dark roast = best roast.

"Stef Schrader" (stefschrader)
12/01/2017 at 11:50, STARS: 0

They don’t. We’re just now getting a Dunkin near me, but........Munchkins aren’t as good. :’(

"For Sweden" (rallybeetle)
12/01/2017 at 11:54, STARS: 0

It’s treason then

"DaftRyosuke - So Long and Thanks for All the Fish!" (daft-ryosuke)
12/01/2017 at 12:21, STARS: 0

Then why does every Canadian I know yell at me when I say I’ve never had Tim Hortons

"REO Jackwagon" (reojackwagon)
12/01/2017 at 12:51, STARS: 0

RCMP-Flying Language Squad

"Pray4Mojo" (Pray4Mojo)
12/01/2017 at 13:00, STARS: 0

How many readers of this blog will actually understand the earth shattering catastrophe of Tim Horton’s running out of coffee?

For your American readers: Tim Horton’s is like Starbucks, except their coffee is actually drinkable without a metric ton of whipped cream and sugar. It’s what keeps Canadians Canucking...

"nerd_racing" (nerd189)
12/01/2017 at 13:02, STARS: 0

I agree! Before I knew their proper name I just called them dunkholes.

"Pray4Mojo" (Pray4Mojo)
12/01/2017 at 13:04, STARS: 1

I’ll take any opportunity to post a clip from Michael Moore’s best (and arguably, only good) work:

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"Pray4Mojo" (Pray4Mojo)
12/01/2017 at 13:08, STARS: 0

So this isn’t Arrogant Worms, but I always thought that it was, so I’m going to post it anyways!

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"G_Body_Man: Sponsored by the number 3" (gbodyman)
12/01/2017 at 13:33, STARS: 2

“The Dunkhole” sounds like something Mr. Regular would say.

"10 cc's of Nitrous - STAT!" (hatescarsyoulike)
12/01/2017 at 14:08, STARS: 0

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
*inhale* AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

"10 cc's of Nitrous - STAT!" (hatescarsyoulike)
12/01/2017 at 14:11, STARS: 1

I live for timbits. If they ever get bad I’ll post here before I drown my self in a Tim’s Take Ten.

"thejustache" (thejustache)
12/01/2017 at 15:48, STARS: 0

Great, now you’ve got me thinking of my trip 2 months ago with my wife to her home state of Michigan... we drove straight through Canada to get there from our non-Timmy Hos side of NY. I’m pretty sure we lived entirely off coffee and timbits for a week and neither of us were complaining about it.

"Chariotoflove" (chariotoflove)
12/01/2017 at 16:30, STARS: 0

I ate mine (when I lived in MI) with...

...DECAF! Bwahahahahah!

"xyzabc" (stackofoldwood)
12/01/2017 at 17:04, STARS: 1

I lived in Londo, Ontario of about two year ( Yes, I used the singular instead of plural. It’s what Canada folk do, no?) and the logic for this was “Caffeine” is seen as a natural part of the Coca-Cola “Bean”, so Coke isn’t affected.

But it’s not a natural element of the rare Mountain Dew “Bean”...thus it’s considered an “additive” and the Canadian Ministry of, um Refreshing Fizzy Drinks (..or something like that) declared “pas de caffeine ajoutée.”

Beauty, eh?