by "Mercedes Streeter" (smart)
Published 11/22/2017 at 16:37
by "Mercedes Streeter" (smart)
Published 11/22/2017 at 16:37
Tags: Updates
STARS: 27
Hi Oppo, I’m not yet ready to return, though I did want you all to know that I’m in a relatively better situation.
My previous tenant decided to launch a witch hunt against me to find something she can sue me for. That made me start wanting to give up. It was hard enough dealing with the domestic abuser tenant, but now to have to fight three tenants and fear for my own safety and well-being on top of it? I wanted to give up, move out of the house, and let them win...
The line about ruining her life further broke me further.
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After thinking about it, I’m inclined to believe that she’s right...I’m very not as good as a person as I try to be. I cheated on my girlfriend with a new friend and had the new friend sleep in our apartment that same night. Then I broke up with my girlfriend and eventually effectively left her for dead. All of the birthday presents that I have given her were stolen.
Then, I move in with who basically was my mistress, let her sell drugs out of fear, eventually grew a spine and ratted on her, then got her evicted (she wasn’t homeless, she was living next door). Now, I’m going to have to split this couple up and he’s likely going to go to jail for a very long time.
These are all people who had trusted me to keep their secrets/bonds. I broke the bond with my girlfriend, I didn’t keep the drug dealer’s activities a secret, and I spoke up against domestic violence. I crossed all of these people and their lives are worse off for knowing me. One of my motivations behind helping others is so they don’t have to live the daily life I live through. Though I’m not sure I’m very good at it. Even though my ex had forgiven me immediately, I still cannot find it in me to forgive myself. It takes a special kind of fucked up person to do what I did, even if our relationship was basically co-dependent.
I guess...I hate the idea that I’ve hurt someone...I hate myself for hurting someone.
After all that, I heard that the domestic abuser tenant would be released on Tuesday (yesterday) and would be coming back home. Oh yes, the violent man who stole from me would be back into my house and there was not a thing I could do about it.
The suicidal thoughts were swirling around my head and otherwise blocked my thoughts. I had what I guess was just short of a full emotional breakdown while at work.
I got home last night to find that the domestic abuser tenant was there, already breaking his probation after less than 24 hours. He and his girlfriend decided to do a hostile takeover of the house, citing that we had no right to meddle in their relationship to begin with...Well I mean, what did you expect? Did you really expect to have a tenant beat someone in my house on a daily basis, then you complaining to me on a daily basis, steal my money, him engaging in child porn on a daily basis, stalking children...and expect me to do...nothing?
(I never really mentioned, but their abusive relationship goes both ways. She manipulates him into doing bad things, hurting others, and that everyone’s trying to kill him. Of course, he beats her because he thinks he owns her.)
At any rate, I learned about his history. He has a history of homicidal events like loosening lug nuts on cars, trying to suffocate people in their sleep, forcing them to OD on pills, and so on.
The girlfriend was also manipulating my depression for her gain. See, she is addicted to cigarettes. She will steal stuff from Walmart then return it the next day to get more cigarettes. So, she twists my emotions and convinces me to buy her cigarettes lest I face further consequences.
We were trying to leverage his probation (which he was violating by being anywhere near her) by calling the cops, to which the girlfriend decided to move out and disappear. She intends to leave him with me for the remainder of his lease, if not longer. The courts said we can’t kick him out sooner than 30 days from now and I can’t get an OP against him without him threatening me.
Well, I don’t feel like taking a large drill bit to someone’s eyes (he doesn’t scare me), but I also am not in an emotional state to deal with this. There are times to stand your ground and there are times to just save yourself. I hate everything, my life has been a continual nightmare with small pockets of good times. I haven’t been sleeping this well, I’ve been too afraid of getting murdered, coming home to see my home on fire, more thefts, or vandalism.
Last night, I did that. I moved out of my house and sadly, back into my parents’ house. Somehow this is a better situation...it depresses me even more that living with my parents feels better than living in my own house...
A Psychiatrist once said that I suffer from severe situational depression. It may as well be chemical depression if all of the bad situations chain themselves together so that I have constant hardship. lol
So, I guess I’m going to sign off again. I’m safe, though I’m not really all that well. I will be better, I will be back...I have to, my story can’t end here. I can’t let depression win. Until then, happy holidays
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"Chariotoflove" (chariotoflove)
11/22/2017 at 16:42, STARS: 4
Without addressing all that you wrote, I’m wishing you a better outlook as the holidays approach, and a stable New Year. There is joy to be found all around us, and I hope you can grab yourself some of it. God bless.
"farscythe - makin da cawfee!" (farscythe)
11/22/2017 at 16:53, STARS: 4
damn miss merc..... thats a whole lot of crazy you got stuck in
we all fuck up from time to time but from where im sitting it looks like your at least trying to do the right thing.... small consolation i know.
i’d add some really nice shit here...... but i suck at saying nice stuff...
so you just take care of you love and get through this as best you can
wishing you all the best
"CaptDale - is secretly British" (captdale)
11/22/2017 at 16:56, STARS: 2
I really do hate reading about all this happening to you, not in a way I want you to stop sharing or anything, I just mean it hurts to read. I really hope you are able to work everything out and be happy in your own home again. I remember you posts about how excited you were to make that house your home, but it has come very far from that. I am happy to hear you are safe. I hope your break helps out. Please stay safe and have a happy holidays if we don’t see you before then
"Spridget" (dustbustervans)
11/22/2017 at 16:57, STARS: 1
“I didn’t keep the drug dealer’s activities a secret, and I spoke up against domestic violence. I crossed all of these people and their lives are worse off for knowing me.”
Other people have interacted with those two as well. Do you think an addict who bought drugs from the dealer is really better off for knowing them? Is another person who could be a victim of domestic abuse from your tenant better off for knowing them? No, they aren’t. You did the right thing. If their lives fall apart, so be it; it’s karma for everything which they have done.
If the guy really is engaging in CP, and your police won’t do anything about it, try contacting the FBI or your state equivalent. They have more resources dedicated to that kind of thing.
"DC3 LS, will be perpetually replacing cars until the end of time" (dc3ls-)
11/22/2017 at 17:04, STARS: 5
Then, I move in with who basically was my mistress, let her sell drugs out of fear, eventually grew a spine and ratted on her, then got her evicted (she wasn’t homeless, she was living next door). Now, I’m going to have to split this couple up and he’s likely going to go to jail for a very long time.
These are all people who had trusted me to keep their secrets/bonds. I broke the bond with my girlfriend, I didn’t keep the drug dealer’s activities a secret, and I spoke up against domestic violence. I crossed all of these people and their lives are worse off for knowing me.
I hope you’re not seriously blaming yourself for that. Calling people out for their own bullshit isn’t you screwing them over. They put them selves there. You owned up to your cheating, they can own up to their non-sense.
"HondoyotaE38: A Japanese and German Collab...wait a minute" (hondoyota)
11/22/2017 at 18:03, STARS: 1
Anytime. You are a vital part of this community and it pains us all to see you in such pain. We all hope it works out well for you in the end. I know it’s hard but I feel like you can pull through. Stay strong.
"Kiltedpadre" (kiltedpadre)
11/22/2017 at 18:07, STARS: 1
I’m glad that you popped back in for an update. I’m sure I’m not even close to being the only one here that was worried.
I won’t address everything that you mentioned simply because I understand you need to work through your demons even in the cases where I feel you did what was right.
The current roommate situation you absolutely needed to step in if he was involved in child pornography and stalking/propositioning minors. The outcome may not have been what we all would’ve hoped, but that is one of the issues where there is a definitive line in the sand where no one should ignore that if we see it. I’m proud to know you stepped up to get involved there knowing that he had a village lent history.
I hope things continue to improve for you till you can finally get back to living your life without needing to be worried about what those around you may do.
"boredalways" (boredalway666)
11/22/2017 at 18:14, STARS: 2
IF YOU KNOW FOR SURE THAT YOUR TENANTS SELL ILLEGAL DRUGS AND DEAL IN PEDOPHILIA, CALL THE FEDS IMMEDIATELY. PLEASR DO IT TO GET THEM OUT OF YOUR LIFE FOREVER.*
*sorry for the internet screaming
"Rusty Vandura - www.tinyurl.com/keepoppo" (rustyvandura)
11/22/2017 at 18:26, STARS: 2
To report an incident involving the possession, distribution, receipt, or production of child pornography, file a report on the National Center for Missing & Exploited Children (NCMEC)‘s website at www.cybertipline.com (link is external), or call 1-800-843-5678 . Your report will be forwarded to a law enforcement agency for investigation and action.
https://www.justice.gov/criminal-ceos/report-violations
"Rusty Vandura - www.tinyurl.com/keepoppo" (rustyvandura)
11/22/2017 at 18:28, STARS: 0
Glad you checked in. I’ll shoot you an email.
"Saab wagon is best wagon-now with less Saab" (saabwagon)
11/22/2017 at 18:59, STARS: 2
3 words:
Call. The. Feds.
FBI, DEA, ATF, etc etc are going to be very helpful with this stuff.
"feather-throttle-not-hair" (feather-throttle-not-hair)
11/22/2017 at 19:45, STARS: 2
Take care of yourself. Someday you’re going to look back on this and be like “that sucked. My life sucked, but that’s not now. Now I am happy and in a good place” and it will be enormously satisfying.