by "AestheticsInMotion" (aestheticsinmotion)
Published 11/10/2017 at 14:55
by "AestheticsInMotion" (aestheticsinmotion)
Published 11/10/2017 at 14:55
No Tags
STARS: 6
I think I found you the perfect house. It’s a brand new 3500 Sq. Ft. “luxury home” with L bracket shelving in every bedroom. No closets because at 3.5 million asking price you’ll have to make due with the clothes on your back. Oh... And the doorknobs alternate between gold and silver. You in?
The above picture is the master bedroom, and no, the door does not open all the way due to shelf placement. Yes, there are seriously no bedroom closets. And yes, this is actually a just-built house.
"Chariotoflove" (chariotoflove)
11/10/2017 at 15:00, STARS: 4
I hope that whoever buys that puts a bunch fragile things on those shelves and has a cat.
"MasterMario - Keeper of the V8s" (mastermario)
11/10/2017 at 15:01, STARS: 3
What? I thought a room HAD to have a closet to be marketed as a bedroom
"Highlander-Datsuns are Forever" (jamesbowland)
11/10/2017 at 15:01, STARS: 0
Who needs closets when you have Nordstroms?
"AestheticsInMotion" (aestheticsinmotion)
11/10/2017 at 15:02, STARS: 1
There’s something strange going on here. There’s a staircase with no railing and zero indication that it will be getting one.
"fhrblig" (fhrblig)
11/10/2017 at 15:03, STARS: 7
Maybe the architect is an armoire fetishist.
"AestheticsInMotion" (aestheticsinmotion)
11/10/2017 at 15:03, STARS: 2
On closer look most of the brackets only have one or two screws and no drywall anchors, so yeah. Want to start a betting pool on days until first major accident?
"AestheticsInMotion" (aestheticsinmotion)
11/10/2017 at 15:04, STARS: 3
Where will the stepchildren sleep?
"shop-teacher" (shop-teacher)
11/10/2017 at 15:05, STARS: 1
In the shed.
"shop-teacher" (shop-teacher)
11/10/2017 at 15:06, STARS: 0
It’s supposed to, yes. Clearly the builder/devolper here is a little light in the smarts department.
"AestheticsInMotion" (aestheticsinmotion)
11/10/2017 at 15:06, STARS: 9
This is likely the only time in my life I’ll see those two words together. So... Thank you
"Chariotoflove" (chariotoflove)
11/10/2017 at 15:06, STARS: 2
Put me down for $10 on move-in day. Wall spackling and door paint at the very least.
"shop-teacher" (shop-teacher)
11/10/2017 at 15:06, STARS: 4
As if an architect was involved!
"shop-teacher" (shop-teacher)
11/10/2017 at 15:07, STARS: 2
“And yes, this is actually a just-built house.”
WUUUUUUT???? This is the only part that surprises me.
"Shamoononon drives like a farmer" (shamoononon)
11/10/2017 at 15:08, STARS: 2
Craptastic! Seriously, McMansions suck.
"AestheticsInMotion" (aestheticsinmotion)
11/10/2017 at 15:09, STARS: 0
Now that I’m done here, the only thing left is landscaping according to the project lead. Something is fishy
"Akio Ohtori - RIP Oppo" (akioohtori)
11/10/2017 at 15:10, STARS: 0
Basement?
"Akio Ohtori - RIP Oppo" (akioohtori)
11/10/2017 at 15:12, STARS: 3
Came here to say this. In Oklahoma to be a “bedroom” a room must have at least one door, window, and closet. If it lacks any of those things it is not legally a bedroom.
Fun fact: we have a weird “bedroom” off our master that we use as a closet. Which is to say our closet has a closet because of building code. Yo dawg, etc.
"JawzX2, Boost Addict. 1.6t, 2.7tt, 4.2t" (jawzx2)
11/10/2017 at 15:13, STARS: 0
But... wha... how?
"shop-teacher" (shop-teacher)
11/10/2017 at 15:15, STARS: 2
Never underestimate the power of stupid. I knew a developer like this. It was painful to watch him make decisions.
"MasterMario - Keeper of the V8s" (mastermario)
11/10/2017 at 15:17, STARS: 1
Owner went with the cheapest (probably not licensed) contractor then presumably
"facw" (facw)
11/10/2017 at 15:17, STARS: 4
We’ve seen such tragedies around here: http://liveandletdiecast.kinja.com/diecast-horror-story-disaster-at-ulys-1796120962
"Textured Soy Protein" (texturedsoyprotein)
11/10/2017 at 15:19, STARS: 0
!!! UNKNOWN CONTENT TYPE !!!
"Galileo Humpkins (aka MC Clap Yo Handz)" (galileo-humpkins)
11/10/2017 at 15:20, STARS: 0
Outside. Under the porch.
"Highlander-Datsuns are Forever" (jamesbowland)
11/10/2017 at 15:20, STARS: 0
Simple fix, just buy a wardrobe.
"Galileo Humpkins (aka MC Clap Yo Handz)" (galileo-humpkins)
11/10/2017 at 15:21, STARS: 1
Definitely depends where you live. In Chicago I believe the major prerequisites are a window/natural light and ventilation. Could be wrong but I think I remember our realtor telling us that.
"Yowen - not necessarily not spaghetti and meatballs" (yowen)
11/10/2017 at 15:26, STARS: 1
it’s painful imagining that it was possible to make these decisions.
"victor" (victor)
11/10/2017 at 15:36, STARS: 0
Is this in Kirkland or something?
"AestheticsInMotion" (aestheticsinmotion)
11/10/2017 at 15:44, STARS: 3
Builder must be a Narnia enthusiasts
"AestheticsInMotion" (aestheticsinmotion)
11/10/2017 at 15:45, STARS: 0
Redmond, between novelty and union hill. Might technically be unincorporated king county
"fintail" (fintail)
11/10/2017 at 15:46, STARS: 0
How this isn’t another faux craftsman hewn from sketchy materials in 98004, I don’t know.
"victor" (victor)
11/10/2017 at 15:47, STARS: 2
There is no shit in that area that is worth $3.5M.
"Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo" (thetomselleck)
11/10/2017 at 15:49, STARS: 7
This description and photo gave me ebola.
"WilliamsSW" (williamssw)
11/10/2017 at 15:50, STARS: 1
I take it this some asshat building a house on spec (and on the cheap) because profit?
"WilliamsSW" (williamssw)
11/10/2017 at 15:52, STARS: 1
Escape, too — I’m here, too, and that’s a big deal when you’re talking about basement ‘bedrooms’ - they have to have a ladder climbing up out of the window well for emergency egress.
"Galileo Humpkins (aka MC Clap Yo Handz)" (galileo-humpkins)
11/10/2017 at 16:04, STARS: 1
Yeah, that’s a big one as well (I think in most places), assuming the basement is deep enough to warrant it.
"AestheticsInMotion" (aestheticsinmotion)
11/10/2017 at 16:13, STARS: 1
I’ve been in a handful of places around there that would surprise you I think.
Then again, they were architectual masterpieces with cohesive design, well-integrated tech and every inch was gone over with a fine tooth comb to make the homes exactly what the designer had in mind. Quite different from the place I was at earlier today haha
"AestheticsInMotion" (aestheticsinmotion)
11/10/2017 at 16:14, STARS: 3
This is bad even by those standards. Borderline not up to code in many ways.
Only other thing I can think of is someone went to the cheapest builder they could find, and said “I want you to build me a house just like my last home”
"Smallbear wants a modern Syclone, local Maple Leafs spammer" (smallbear94)
11/10/2017 at 16:17, STARS: 2
architect designer
"shop-teacher" (shop-teacher)
11/10/2017 at 16:33, STARS: 2
I know. Imagine seeing it happen in real time. We did our best to talk him out of certain things, but often were unsuccessful.
"shop-teacher" (shop-teacher)
11/10/2017 at 16:37, STARS: 1
My mom was a realtor in the Chicago area for years. In Illinois, in order to call something a bedroom, it must have a closet as well. In a lot of older homes that were built without closets, they will instead include an armoire with the sale of the house to satisfy that requirement.
"shop-teacher" (shop-teacher)
11/10/2017 at 16:38, STARS: 1
VERY important distinction!
"Urambo Tauro" (urambotauro)
11/10/2017 at 16:40, STARS: 2
Not a big fan of shelves behind doors like this, but what I find even more bothersome is the unequal length of the shelves. WHY
Is something supposed to mount on the wall directly behind the door? Or something extra-tall on the lower shelves? I don’t get it.
"shop-teacher" (shop-teacher)
11/10/2017 at 16:40, STARS: 1
If you look out the window, it’s definitely a faux craftsman.
"WilliamsSW" (williamssw)
11/10/2017 at 16:41, STARS: 2
Yeah, by ‘asshat’ I meant ‘super cheap corner cutting extreme asshat’, I guess.
You mentioned that it was listed at $3.5 ask, so presumably it wasn’t built as someone’s ‘dream’ home - seems more like a nightmare to me.
I hope no one buys it and it just sits and rots.
"victor" (victor)
11/10/2017 at 16:52, STARS: 1
Well yes. I agree.. there are some homes and estates that are very nice out there...but alot of the stuff off of East Lake Sammamish sometimes I don’t think it’s worth what they’re asking for...then again, I come from the bay area, so I should probably keep my mouth shut about stupid home valuations.
"fintail" (fintail)
11/10/2017 at 16:55, STARS: 0
“Masterpieces” might be generous for even high end newer builds in the pnw.
"fintail" (fintail)
11/10/2017 at 16:57, STARS: 1
Yep, prairie muntins too. My surprise included location - 98004 is ground zero for reasonable older houses being razed and replaced by monstrosities. Money laundering heaven.
"Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo" (thetomselleck)
11/10/2017 at 17:07, STARS: 1
And yet shitty 3 bedroom attached Townhomes will sell for over a million next to that QFC.
"fhrblig" (fhrblig)
11/10/2017 at 17:32, STARS: 1
Maybe I should add that to my screen name...
"shop-teacher" (shop-teacher)
11/10/2017 at 18:24, STARS: 0
Yeah, I figured it was something like that. Obviously, I don’t know the area.
"shop-teacher" (shop-teacher)
11/10/2017 at 18:25, STARS: 0
You definitely should.
"Galileo Humpkins (aka MC Clap Yo Handz)" (galileo-humpkins)
11/10/2017 at 19:21, STARS: 1
Interesting, good to know. I couldn’t remember if our realtor mentioned that or not.
"AestheticsInMotion" (aestheticsinmotion)
11/10/2017 at 21:36, STARS: 1
Are you familiar with Ames lake? I was blown away when I realized what those properties are going for...
"AestheticsInMotion" (aestheticsinmotion)
11/10/2017 at 21:41, STARS: 1
98053, although don’t quote me on that. For what it’s worth, there’s still enough land here that I doubt anything was torn down to make room for it
"fintail" (fintail)
11/11/2017 at 12:49, STARS: 0
Must be quite a plot to carry that price tag, either that or the seller thinks he can find a clueless money launderer. I assume value isn’t in the house, with the apparent cutting of corners.
"fintail" (fintail)
11/11/2017 at 12:50, STARS: 1
Don’t feel bad about that. I suspect average detached house to income ratio in the area now is about 15:1.
"victor" (victor)
11/13/2017 at 13:16, STARS: 0
Yeah, we looked out there, and at places like Sahalee and along lake Sammamish. In the end, we ended up in Upper QA because we wanted to be more central. If we were retired, I definitely would’ve picked up something like
this
"Eric @ opposite-lock.com" (theyrerolling)
11/16/2017 at 16:03, STARS: 0
How big of a circle? There are some decent homes in about a 2-3 mile radius of West Snoqualmie Valley between the intersection with Novelty Hill Rd and Woodinville-Duvall Rd (a section along the route we drove). When my wife and I were house hunting, we hit numerous open houses all over the east side and the contrast between good and terrible, even in fairly new homes, was pretty stark. Redmond Ridge through eastern Cottage Lake ranged from pure garbage high density SFH developments through decent custom homes, even in our barely-able-to-afford-the-metro price range. The fact that each RE person involved in a sale is making $20-40k on every time one of these houses sells makes me sick.