Under the soft glow of the lights of Shoppers Drug Mart I park thy Juke, good thing this location is open to 12:00am. I walk in, I walk around like half dead zombie. I buy what I need, then check out. The cashier is pretty cute, but a bit young for me. I'm pretty sure she is not sober, maybe a light buzz. The coffee she was drinking, was definitely not coffee. I walk out. Shampoo in left hand, keys in right hand. Gently out the shampoo in the passenger seat not too hurt it's feeling by dropping it. I check my leaking tire, 32.4 psi. It lost 2.5 psi in 5 hours, not as much as my lost soul tho. I get in. Right leg, then left leg. Left foot on the clutch, I gingerly press it it. Right food on the brake, I turn thy key. It starts, I pull it into nutrual while I do things on my phone. I finish in my phone. I put it in gear. Clutch out very gingerly, granny shift out of 1st. Ring out 2nd, the road is wet. My tires break loose. Poooowwweeeerrrrr. I proceed to granny shift to 5th. Is that a new smell, nope it's new character. Is that a new rattle, nope it's new character. I talk to my self. It was a good conversation. It was fun. Then comes a red light. It's has hues of warm coloues, neat. It turns green. I leave, traction is non existent. Thinking about my rear tire, those thoughts are deflating me. My shampoo is happy in thy passenger seat. It's snug, it's warm, it's glowing not knowing I going to tear it apart & rubbing its innards in my hair scarring it for life. My knees feel heavy, maybe it's blood pressure or my mother's spaghetti. Zac Brown Band comes on the radio, it's their new single "Roots". I like this song. Many songs, tires spinning, gears spinning, pistons stroking, I arrive home. I reverse in, then grab my shampoo & dirty work clothes. I open the garage door, go inside. The tractor is in front of me, not very intimidating. It smiles, I smile back. I walk into the entry way, the cat greets me. I walk down stairs, cat follows me. I make food, it was good. As I finish thy food I write the reducius title to waste your time.

by "The Crazy Kanuck; RIP Oppositelock" (jukesjukesjukes)
Published 11/06/2017 at 00:37

Tags: Daniel Ricardo
STARS: 12

Good night Oppo.

Replies (18)

"interstate366, now In The Industry" (interstate366)
11/06/2017 at 00:43, STARS: 8

what

"Bman76 (hates WS6 hoods, is on his phone and has 4 burners now)" (bman76-4)
11/06/2017 at 00:45, STARS: 7

Ban

"The Crazy Kanuck; RIP Oppositelock" (jukesjukesjukes)
11/06/2017 at 00:46, STARS: 0

Agreed.

"whoarder is tellurium" (whoarder)
11/06/2017 at 00:47, STARS: 0

"DC3 LS, will be perpetually replacing cars until the end of time" (dc3ls-)
11/06/2017 at 01:05, STARS: 0

What does Daniel Ricardo have to do with this?

"Tapas" (tapas)
11/06/2017 at 01:10, STARS: 1

I didn’t know it was possible to have a title that long appear in its entirety on the Oppo page.

I’ve always seen titles get cut off by “...” if they are too long.

How did you do this? :D

"The Crazy Kanuck; RIP Oppositelock" (jukesjukesjukes)
11/06/2017 at 01:16, STARS: 1

I’m did it in Kinja mobile, so maybe Kinja’d?

"gmctavish needs more space" (gmctavish)
11/06/2017 at 01:37, STARS: 0

I didn’t know they had good weed in Ontario

"RPM esq." (rpm3)
11/06/2017 at 01:45, STARS: 0

If you don’t get banned for this there is no justice in the world. And by this, I mean “reducius,” whatever that means.

"Blunion05 drives a pink S2000 (USER WAS BANNED FOR THIS POST)" (6speedhaven)
11/06/2017 at 01:54, STARS: 0

Now to make this truly a masterpiece, we need a mod to star the title and biggify it.

"SilentButNotReallyDeadly...killed by G/O Media" (silentbutnotreallydeadly)
11/06/2017 at 05:17, STARS: 0

As shit posts go...all the stars with a bonus kick in the nuts. By a quarterback wearing steel cap boots.

"pip bip - choose Corrour" (hhgttg69)
11/06/2017 at 06:10, STARS: 0

you kept me in suspense all the way to the end.

"Tareim - V8 powered" (tareimgaml)
11/06/2017 at 07:53, STARS: 0

TL:DR

"Mini Guy- Now has a 4Runner" (gavinharter30)
11/06/2017 at 08:49, STARS: 1

I just love zac brown

"TheTurbochargedSquirrel" (thatsquirrel)
11/06/2017 at 08:53, STARS: 0

Oh hey, Title character limits are gone again.

"Agrajag" (Agrajag)
11/06/2017 at 09:15, STARS: 0

That’s my favorite part.

"interstate366, now In The Industry" (interstate366)
11/06/2017 at 10:22, STARS: 0

TIL that’s what makes the titles big. I always wondered about that.

"davesaddiction @ opposite-lock.com" (davesaddiction)
11/06/2017 at 12:01, STARS: 0

https://gizmodo.com/twitter-user-exploits-loophole-to-post-35-000-character-1820176643