by "LJ909" (lj909)
Published 10/26/2017 at 12:52
by "LJ909" (lj909)
Published 10/26/2017 at 12:52
No Tags
STARS: 7
A car with a name that, by definition, implies 2 doors, with a name that ties it to a literal 2 door model that in itself is nothing more than a 2 door model of a 4 door model. But they gave it a sloped roof and thereby can call it a coupe even though it isn’t. And where can this level of confusion clsuterfuckery come from? Why BMW of course! And the model I’m referring to is the 4 Series Gran Coupe.
The last few years, or rather the last decade or so, has seen BMW increasingly go from the Ultimate Driving Machine, to the Ultimate Let’s See If We Can Create More Niches Because Our Customers Will Buy Them Company. The company that gave us the legendary and industry benchmark 3 Series has gone away from their sporting pretensions to just cater to customers that care no more about driving and more about the brand perception and to be seen driving a BMW. Both BMW and the consumer are to blame.
Where did it all start? BMW started hinting at trying to “shake up” the industry when they started calling their SUV’s, specifically the X5 since it was the only one at the time, SAV’s (Sports Activity Vehicles) rather than SUV’s. Soon after we were given the X6 Concept in 2007 and it going on sale a short time later.
BMW dubbed this a SAC (Sports Activity Coupe). And it worked. Sales of the X6 have always been strong because of its combination of “unique” styling and BMW badge. That’s all the ok BMW needed to just go crazy. That doesn’t make the model any less of a rolling answer to a question nobody asked. It’s pretty much an X5 with a sloped roof. That styling to create the niche it’s in cuts into what makes an SUV desirable in the first place: visibility and cargo room. It’s also heavy which hurts its Ultimate Driving Machine on road dynamics.
More chaos followed with the release just 2 years after the X6 of the weirdly shaped 5 Series GT: a not quite a wagon and not quite an SUV thing that BMW calls a Gran Turismo, even going so far as to call it a Progressive Activity Sedan (whatever that means) In the US, BMW pretty much used the 5 Series GT as a replacement for the 5 Series wagon that went away when the E60 became the F01. Strangely in Europe, this wasn’t the case and the 5 GT was sold right alongside the regular 5 Series wagon. Another answer to a question nobody asked. The vehicle is essentially in a weird gray area and is design wise awkwardly proportioned though rear legroom is rumored to be great. Sales for the 5 GT have never been strong yet it was just recently replaced by the 6 Series GT.
What’s maddening about the 6 GT is that it’s the same level of confusion as the GC models: A model name that historically has always been a coupe, is now attached to what is essentially a refresh of a model that’s been on sale since 09 (the 5 GT) offering nothing more than being a little longer than the 5 GT and riding on platform that’s shared with both the standard 5 and 7. Why does this exist you ask? Well for one, because BMW, and 2, because the 6 Series Coupe is going away if you want some kind of justification. The 6 GT will be the only 6 Series now. The 6 Coupe going away makes room for the 8 Series. It’s just… too much.
In the intervening years we have been given even more pointless vehicles: the 3 Series got both the X4, which is a 3 Series based baby X6,the aforementioned 4 GC and the 6 GC, with a 2 GC rumored to be coming in 2018 as a 19’ model. Like I said before, BMW is to blame for this confusion and dilution of their brand identity of Ultimate Driving Machine. But another group shares that blame: consumers.
BMW has the fortunate position of having the luxury brand with the most cache. Tell anyone not in the know you drive a BMW, and their mind will probably fly to either he/she must have money, or what does he/she do for a living? It’s the ultimate car to show you’ve made it. Go through any business park and tell me how many BMWs you see. The 3 Series is the go to for those that got that promotion with just enough money for them to be able to buy the kind of car they actually want to buy to show that they got that promotion. And the 5 and 7 have long been the go to for middle and upper management. With that brand cache comes a problem however: people can’t see past it. It’s allowed BMW to create products that make us question their existence, while their sales are sustained by lessees who flock to the models for no other reason than that roundel on the hood.
None of the models I’ve gone over here are an answer to changing industry trends nor were any of them segments that needed to be filled. They were specifically created for those very badge whores that BMW seems intent on catering to. And BMW knows this. That’s the sad part. This trend of creating new products that sacrifice the very things that make them make sense from a buying standpoint is what has lead to the confusion we see in the brand today. So expect to see an 8 Series GC in 21’ followed by an X7 M. Pointlessness drives BMW to appeal to consumers focused on that almighty brand perception now. Ultimate Driving Machine be dammed.
"Azrek" (azrek)
10/26/2017 at 13:09, STARS: 1
Maybe it is a Saloon Coupe? Or a Coupe Saloon?
"diplodicus" (diplodicus)
10/26/2017 at 13:16, STARS: 2
To be fair Mercedes started the whole calling a sedan a coupe thing.
"404 - User No Longer Available" (toni-cipriani)
10/26/2017 at 13:17, STARS: 3
Basically BMW’s marketing and product planning team needs to be fired. They’re paid multiple thousands of dollars each month... to carbon copy what Audi is doing. An intern can do that.
...and yet another GC, the 3 GC,..
You mean the 3GT right? There’s no such thing as 3GC.
"fintail" (fintail)
10/26/2017 at 13:25, STARS: 3
I blame the Limeys:
"LJ909" (lj909)
10/26/2017 at 13:26, STARS: 0
True. But BMW just ran away with it. Mercedes only has the CLS, CLA and and that GLE coupe. And 2 of those, the GLE Coupe and CLA only came recently.
"John-Palazzo" (John-Palazzo)
10/26/2017 at 13:30, STARS: 1
There is a 4GC though, which is basically the same thing.
"RiceRocketeer Extraordinaire" (ricerocketeer2)
10/26/2017 at 13:44, STARS: 0
Saloupe. Couploon.
Crap, I just gave BMW more ideas ...
"Arrivederci" (arrividerci)
10/26/2017 at 13:45, STARS: 1
You be quiet about the GranCoupe’s - I actually like those :).
"404 - User No Longer Available" (toni-cipriani)
10/26/2017 at 13:50, STARS: 0
Should’ve left the quote longer... he’s clearly not talking about that.
the 3 Series got both the X4, which is a 3 Series based baby X6 and yet another GC, the 3 GC, the aforementioned 4 GC and the 6 GC, with a 2 GC rumored to be coming in 2018 as a 19’ model.
On that note I completely do not mind a 2GC, provided it’s RWD like a 2 2-door coupe and not a 2 AT/GT.
A compact, liftback sedan that is RWD and 6MT... I’ll trade my 3-series immediately.
"Azrek" (azrek)
10/26/2017 at 13:52, STARS: 0
KILL IT WITH FIRE!!!
"functionoverfashion" (functionoverfashion)
10/26/2017 at 14:07, STARS: 4
Their whole naming scheme is infuriating. I used to love how straightforward, numeric, and simple it was: 3, 5, 7 were normal cars. 6,8 were special (also 2-door). M meant moaarr powahhh and lots of unique parts. Even the X3 and X5 fit into this, if you can get over them making an SUV / “SAV” (I can). I’ll even give them the addition of the 1/2 series, because it still fits with the rest of the lineup (and they’re fantastic). Also, for the most part, the model number contained engine displacement, with some exceptions.
Then they threw this all out the goddamn window, set it on fire, piled up the ashes in the shape of an X6 and cackled like a bunch of movie villains, swimming in their piles of money like Scrooge McDuck.
I hate the X4/X6.
I don’t understand the 4 series existing alongside the 3 series, nor the 6 series between the 5 and 7. WTF?
But I still think the
regular, normal 3-5-7 series cars are good.
If I were shopping for a brand-new car, I’d look hard at the 3'er wagon. And I’m the furthest thing from a badge whore. I just happen to really like every BMW I’ve ever driven, but I haven’t been in one newer than 2007, so there’s that. I’d keep my E46 wagon going forever, if I could.
Edit: Thank you, by the way, for writing this in a more coherent, better-researched way than I could have. This bugs the crap out of me if you couldn’t tell. Well done.
"LJ909" (lj909)
10/26/2017 at 14:17, STARS: 2
Yea the naming scheme is a big one to me. X5 40e iPerformance. Like why? Why couldnt it just be an X5 2.o? The standard cars are still good. Its just that for the most ppart the brand is populated with needlessness. And thanks for the compliment. Took me only about an hour to knock this out between the research and everything.
"functionoverfashion" (functionoverfashion)
10/26/2017 at 14:25, STARS: 0
I just spent 5 minutes with their online car configuration tool. An x-drive 330 GT base price is only ~$300 different from a 430 GC. What.
"functionoverfashion" (functionoverfashion)
10/26/2017 at 14:27, STARS: 0
This is like when I found out there was such a thing as a 2wd Jeep. “Wait, no. Jeep = 4wd,” I said. Why would such a thing exist.
You’ll never guess what state the 2wd Grand Cherokee was from, that introduced me to this idea. Of course: Florida.
"Azrek" (azrek)
10/26/2017 at 14:29, STARS: 1
My dad’s friend liked my old 4Runner so much he got a new one. He was eager to show it off. I hoped in and looked for the 4x4 shifter...or button...or something? He told me it was 2WD. I immediately exclaimed: “This is a 2Runner!!”
"LJ909" (lj909)
10/26/2017 at 14:42, STARS: 2
Nothing makes sense. Theres a ton of price overlap since their model line has become bloated. Especially once you start tacking on options.
"LJ909" (lj909)
10/26/2017 at 15:12, STARS: 1
Yes thats what I meant. Corrected. Thanks.
"WiscoProud" (wiscoproud)
10/26/2017 at 16:06, STARS: 1
I hate that the 4 and 6 can be had with 4 doors. If they stuck with two doors on all even number lines, it would be fine, but they had to shit on that.
"RT" (rt-p)
10/26/2017 at 16:39, STARS: 2
Time for a rapid-fire Q&A:
Why call SUVs SAVs? Because ‘Activity’ sounds cooler than ‘Utility’.
Why call the disgusting X6 a coupé? Because coupé sounds cool too.
Why did people buy the X6? Because they fell for it (and the X5 is a good car).
Why did people buy the 5GT? Because cars with high driving positions are popular.
Why is there a 6GT too? Because cars with high driving positions are selling .
Are the extra X-cars and fake 4-door coupés pointless? No, because they sell.
!!! UNKNOWN CONTENT TYPE !!!
Why do I keep talking about sales? BMW is a company, their job is to make money. It sucks, but that’s how they stay alive.
I’ll give you this, the X6 and GT cars were a niche that were created by BMW, but people bought into the niche and now the cars are big sellers. The same goes with the GC ‘coupés’, which was just an Audi naming tactic anyway (see A5 Sportback). So they may have been pointless when first introduced, but they’re vital to the company’s expansion nowadays.
Besides this lineup bloat, as nasty as it is, can’t really be avoided now. BMW has bigger problems anyway. The latest I’ve heard is that they’re trying to go ‘upmarket’ (even though they’re already a luxury brand). Seems harmless right? Wrong .
To sum up that above article, BMW plan to expand their top-end models: releasing 6-7 cars in within the next year-and-a-half. Churning out designs that fast means some clunkers will get through for sure.
They also plan to kill their brand identity somewhat. The recognisable BMW logo is going to be changed for top-end models which will devalue both the existing logo and new logo at the same time. Even the recognisable kidney grille is to be made with inconsistently shapes, sizes and sharp edges: making it much harder to spot a BMW on the roads anymore.
You know who also constantly release new models in short spaces of time and keep trying to reinvent any established brand identity? Ford and GM.
If there’s anything to learn here, don’t blame the consumers, they’re just people - they buy what they want. Even though I still yearn for the days when BMW only sold the 3, 5, 6 and 7; the true Bavarian Confusion is not a result of lineup expansion - it’s decisions like these instead.
"functionoverfashion" (functionoverfashion)
10/26/2017 at 16:43, STARS: 0
That’s probably the biggest issue, yeah. And anyway there are 2-door 3 series cars, no? Or at least, there always have been. And the even numbers weren’t just part of the lineup, but “special” in some way, too, right?
Ugh
"WiscoProud" (wiscoproud)
10/26/2017 at 17:02, STARS: 0
There used to be. I thought the original point of the 4 and 6 series were to be two door versions of the 3 and 5, respectively. I don’t think there are two door 3 and 5s anymore.