by "Dru" (therealkennyd)
Published 10/25/2017 at 16:57
by "Dru" (therealkennyd)
Published 10/25/2017 at 16:57
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STARS: 0
I moved for a job 4 years ago. Actually took the job knowing it was moving. I’m not crazy about where I live, more indifferent than dislike. I started to move up the ladder a couple years ago and then some sudden changes stalled me in place. My wife just got a job with the school system, we’re trying to have a child, and I’m honestly beginning to panic about putting down roots in a place that’s not “home,” whatever that means.
If you have any advice, I’d appreciate it.
"Wacko" (wacko--)
10/25/2017 at 17:01, STARS: 0
Home is where you make it.
"Captain of the Enterprise" (justanotherdayinparadise)
10/25/2017 at 17:03, STARS: 0
Is it the house or the area, either could mean moving which you might want to do before you have another kid.
"For Sweden" (rallybeetle)
10/25/2017 at 17:08, STARS: 8
fyi if you move you can take the kid with you
"Dru" (therealkennyd)
10/25/2017 at 17:11, STARS: 0
True.
"Jordan and the Slowrunner, Boomer Intensifies" (jordanwphillips)
10/25/2017 at 17:12, STARS: 1
I have no advice, but I saw that Blazer at C&C Upstate.
"Dru" (therealkennyd)
10/25/2017 at 17:12, STARS: 1
You know I’m not 100% sure. Again I’m just kind of indifferent to the area. No attachment. And I would have to earn more money to get a different house. Real estate went nuts right after I bought mine.
"Spaceball-Two" (spaceball-two)
10/25/2017 at 17:17, STARS: 0
I lived out of state for about 8 years. Got an education, good paying job and into good-ish relationship. But I always had the nagging feeling that where I was was never “home”. A few months go by and the relationship starts to deteriorate and the job didn’t have any growth potential. I packed all my shit into the back of my SR5 up and moved back to Seattle. Wasn’t long after I met my wife and now I’ve got a house and 2 year old. Looking back I have to think all that happened for a reason.
"boredalways" (boredalway666)
10/25/2017 at 17:25, STARS: 0
Is that a stock photo or a photo you took recently in Arizona near your home?
Because if it’s the latter, there’s no way you should let your kids grow up there just to go to ASU!
"Dru" (therealkennyd)
10/25/2017 at 17:41, STARS: 0
Nice.
"Dru" (therealkennyd)
10/25/2017 at 17:42, STARS: 0
Obvious answer is obvious. It’s more my wife that wants to stay put.
"RPM esq." (rpm3)
10/25/2017 at 17:42, STARS: 0
Children are portable. In fact, they’re considerably more portable than, like, furniture. You’re not stuck somewhere forever just because you have kids.
"Dru" (therealkennyd)
10/25/2017 at 17:44, STARS: 0
Interesting. I’m glad that wound up working out for you. It’s unclear right now if there is growth potential for me or not. My wife is more reluctant to move, especially if we start a family.
"Dru" (therealkennyd)
10/25/2017 at 17:45, STARS: 0
I took it at a local car show. I’m in SC.
"Dru" (therealkennyd)
10/25/2017 at 17:47, STARS: 0
True. I neglected to mention it’s more my spouse that is reluctant to move once we procreate.
"Spaceball-Two" (spaceball-two)
10/25/2017 at 17:54, STARS: 0
That’s the tough part. Once the littles start showing up it gets harder to just pick up and go.
"BritishLeyland™" (leylandcars)
10/25/2017 at 17:54, STARS: 0
The United States is such a vast and geographically diverse country. The idea that all of it can be called “home” by an American is difficult to grasp from a European perspective. Consider it a privelige.
"RPM esq." (rpm3)
10/25/2017 at 17:54, STARS: 1
My kid lived in five cities in two countries before he was 10 and is definitely a better person for it—he’s open to moving to new places for school or work in the future, he’s not scared of change, and he’s a great traveler. You can tell your spouse that this, a thing a guy said on the internet, is proof positive that moving after you have kids is A-OK.
"AM3R, lost another burner" (am3r17)
10/25/2017 at 18:01, STARS: 0
Why couldn’t you tell me this earlier...
"Jordan and the Slowrunner, Boomer Intensifies" (jordanwphillips)
10/25/2017 at 18:04, STARS: 0
I see they have a tendency to park on grass.
"davesaddiction @ opposite-lock.com" (davesaddiction)
10/25/2017 at 18:08, STARS: 0
How far are you from “home”?
Which of you makes (and will make) more money?
You’ve got plenty of time, fwiw. At least one year before you have a kid, and then at least 4 or 5 before that kid starts making really meaningful friendships. I get it that the longer you’re somewhere, the harder it is (seems) to leave, but I wouldn’t stress.
What are the job prospects for you two back home, if you every decide to go back?
"fhrblig" (fhrblig)
10/25/2017 at 18:10, STARS: 1
* not available in all areas
"fhrblig" (fhrblig)
10/25/2017 at 18:10, STARS: 0
Have you talked to your wife about it? That’s where you have to start.
"Dru" (therealkennyd)
10/25/2017 at 18:12, STARS: 1
FWIW, I’m 200 miles from where I grew up, and this ain’t home.
"Dru" (therealkennyd)
10/25/2017 at 18:13, STARS: 0
Haha. That’s pretty cool. I’m open to whatever.
"Dru" (therealkennyd)
10/25/2017 at 18:15, STARS: 0
About 200 miles, a 3.5 hour drive.
Me.
Job prospects are pretty good there, not as good as some other cities, but better than here.
"Dru" (therealkennyd)
10/25/2017 at 18:16, STARS: 2
Yea we talk about it with some regulairty. As a hypothetical she’s open to moving but her parents are close-ish, so she’s not eager to leave.
"davesaddiction @ opposite-lock.com" (davesaddiction)
10/25/2017 at 18:20, STARS: 1
Seems like the distance isn’t bad - easy to get back for a weekend. We’re at least that far away from all of our family (my parents are 8+ hours away).
Are you really pining to get back, and actively looking for a job back there? If the former, why not the latter?
"SilentButNotReallyDeadly...killed by G/O Media" (silentbutnotreallydeadly)
10/25/2017 at 19:16, STARS: 0
We currently live 1,000 km from where both of us were born and brought up (Sydney, Australia). We both agree that there’s absolutely nothing that will get us back there - not even the rest of families that live there.
We met in a relatively remote country town where we both worked. We’ve since moved to a larger regional centre in a different State and spent 12 years here. We rebuilt a house here. Our son was born here. Our dogs are buried here.
We are now thinking of shifting yet again to another small country town (that we’ve visited a couple of times in the last decade or so) simply because we dream of hills and taller trees. This particular town would be quite a lot closer to our families but not that close. And we’d all have to start again. But if the job gets offered to us then we’re gone with few regrets and many good memories...
Home, for us, is wherever we are. Not where we were.
"TheRealBicycleBuck" (therealbicyclebuck)
10/25/2017 at 19:56, STARS: 0
I suggest you move closer to your parents if you want them to help with your kids. We’ve always lived 8+ hours from our parents and it’s been hard. Where locals can take advantage of having their parents nearby to help with the little ones, we’ve always had to hire a sitter. All of our holidays and vacation time has been spent with either my wife’s parents or my mom. We’ve never been on a family vacation with just us and our kids and that sucks.
"boredalways" (boredalway666)
10/25/2017 at 20:12, STARS: 0
South Carolina, huh?
Yeah, you don’t wanna be there, either.
I have family that are transplants in the Charlotte area for more than a decade. Other than my family (and Bojangles), I am not fond of the area.
"wafflesnfalafel" (wafflesnfalafel1)
10/25/2017 at 20:19, STARS: 0
Given your gal is close to her family and you are only a few hours from what you might consider home, I’d say you are probably better off than average. But I completely understand feelings. I try to be a “love the one your with” kinda person - there is value in discovering the good qualities and “hominess” of wherever you are.
"Dru" (therealkennyd)
10/25/2017 at 21:36, STARS: 1
I’m from Greensboro area in NC. But kind of out in the country. Charlotte is a different animal, I wouldn’t be keen to go there myself. But bojangles is lit tho.
"LimitedTimeOnly @ opposite-lock.com" (limitedtimeonly)
10/26/2017 at 07:01, STARS: 0
Ah ha, that’s key information. Having the wife’s parents close by can dramatically change the child raising experience for the better, so I can understand her inclination to stay put once kids are in the picture.
The possible counter is if your parents would be assets, thereby supporting a return to your home area.
I could see this as critical to the decision. That support system can be invaluable.
"Captain of the Enterprise" (justanotherdayinparadise)
10/28/2017 at 18:46, STARS: 0
Maybe it will grow on you when your doing stuff with your future child and making those memories.