Get ready to hate BMW even more: introducing the X2

Kinja'd!!! by "LJ909" (lj909)
Published 10/25/2017 at 14:00

No Tags
STARS: 3


Kinja'd!!!

Its coming to the US next spring with one engine: a 2 liter 4 making 228 horses. Its going to have an M Sport package, like that will make it less pointless than it already is, and should slot pricing wise between the X1 and X3, so just under 40 grand. You can check it out here. Im sure a Gran Coupe variant and a GT are soon to follow. Please BMW, no more pointless endeavors.


Replies (53)

Kinja'd!!! "davesaddiction @ opposite-lock.com" (davesaddiction)
10/25/2017 at 14:03, STARS: 0

Do hate.

Pointless, unless the point is making money.

Kinja'd!!! "Azrek" (azrek)
10/25/2017 at 14:03, STARS: 0

Anyone have a chart at the exact car/make/model that BMW peaked and everything else was a death spiral to...this?

It is so ugly...

Kinja'd!!! "TheHondaBro" (wwaveform)
10/25/2017 at 14:05, STARS: 0

That... actually looks really good.

Kinja'd!!! "LJ909" (lj909)
10/25/2017 at 14:06, STARS: 1

At this point with BMW you cant even make the “they are in the business of making money” excuse. Because them making money just leads to more pointless models and niches that they create. Sooner or later we are going to have an X, Gran Coupe and Gran Turismo of every model line.

Kinja'd!!! "Spridget" (dustbustervans)
10/25/2017 at 14:06, STARS: 2

What an ugly fucking car.

Kinja'd!!! "LJ909" (lj909)
10/25/2017 at 14:07, STARS: 0

I think its less a chart and more of them wanting that sweet sweet lease money from people that care about nothing but the BMW perception.

Kinja'd!!! "Arrivederci" (arrividerci)
10/25/2017 at 14:07, STARS: 2

Oddly, I don’t hate it. Maybe BMW is desensitizing me to these things.

Kinja'd!!! "SpeedSix" (speedsix)
10/25/2017 at 14:11, STARS: 0

And how exactly is it different from the X1? 

(besides styling - it seems like a minimally restyled X1 currently)

Kinja'd!!! "LJ909" (lj909)
10/25/2017 at 14:11, STARS: 1

The blue? Yea it does. The car itself? Not so much. Just picture it in white or typical BMW Lease Special Silver and then see if it still looks good.

Kinja'd!!! "unclevanos (Ovaltine Jenkins)" (unclevanos)
10/25/2017 at 14:13, STARS: 4

E3X chassis are peak BMW, everything else is just electric water pumps and more plastics.

Kinja'd!!! "RiceRocketeer Extraordinaire" (ricerocketeer2)
10/25/2017 at 14:14, STARS: 0

I thought this was one of those parody posts for a few moments.

Kinja'd!!! "LJ909" (lj909)
10/25/2017 at 14:14, STARS: 1

Thats..disturbing.

Kinja'd!!! "LJ909" (lj909)
10/25/2017 at 14:15, STARS: 0

Its not. Its mechanically similar riding on the same platform and sharing the same stupid engine layout. .

Kinja'd!!! "LJ909" (lj909)
10/25/2017 at 14:17, STARS: 0

I do wish it were. Sadly its not.

Kinja'd!!! "Arrivederci" (arrividerci)
10/25/2017 at 14:18, STARS: 0

Very!

Kinja'd!!! "Arch Duke Maxyenko, Shit Talk Extraordinaire" (arch-duke-maxyenko)
10/25/2017 at 14:20, STARS: 2

Ewe. Just, No.

Kinja'd!!! "gmctavish needs more space" (gmctavish)
10/25/2017 at 14:22, STARS: 1

This

Kinja'd!!! "Milky" (jordanmielke)
10/25/2017 at 14:28, STARS: 1

So it will actually cost about the same as the 228hp JCW Countryman. So like ... why?

Kinja'd!!! "404 - User No Longer Available" (toni-cipriani)
10/25/2017 at 14:29, STARS: 1

Us BMW drivers be like:

Kinja'd!!!

Kinja'd!!! "404 - User No Longer Available" (toni-cipriani)
10/25/2017 at 14:34, STARS: 0

Because BMW badge.

Kinja'd!!! "RPM esq." (rpm3)
10/25/2017 at 14:37, STARS: 2

It’s ugly and just seems like a less-practical X1. That said, the X1 is fine, although I wouldn’t buy one. It’s better than the dumb GTs and the X4 and X6 with the useless hatch areas. If you want a comfortable commuter hatchback/wagon-esque crossover with a usable hatch area and good visibility you could do a lot worse. My cousin bought one to replace an E46 wagon and it serves her needs very well.

Kinja'd!!! "davesaddiction @ opposite-lock.com" (davesaddiction)
10/25/2017 at 14:47, STARS: 1

So, forgive me, but I actually really want an M2 GC...

Kinja'd!!! "LJ909" (lj909)
10/25/2017 at 14:50, STARS: 1

Exactly. As much as I dislike crossovers and BMW being pointless, the X1 actually did make sense in that its nothing more than a slightly higher wagon. I even considered one myself (the RWD version before it switched to the Mini platform). There was no reason to make a vehicle that slots between the X1 and X3 because whatever it offers in favor of buying it both the X1 and X3 probably do better.

Kinja'd!!! "LJ909" (lj909)
10/25/2017 at 14:52, STARS: 0

But then that would pretty much be a M3 with a sloped roof. And people have already been asking for an M4 GC.

Kinja'd!!! "davesaddiction @ opposite-lock.com" (davesaddiction)
10/25/2017 at 14:58, STARS: 1

It’d be considerably smaller, and look better.

Kinja'd!!! "Funktheduck" (funktheduck)
10/25/2017 at 15:01, STARS: 0

Aw. I forgot about the platform switch. The non awd models are fwd, right?

Kinja'd!!! "LJ909" (lj909)
10/25/2017 at 15:07, STARS: 1

Yea sadly it made the switch back in 15' to the FWD Mini based platform. Sadly with that switch saw a loss of driving dynamics that were excellent for what it was when it was RWD.

Kinja'd!!! "Ash78, voting early and often" (ash78)
10/25/2017 at 15:08, STARS: 1

I...I got nothing. Sometimes reality is just too messed up to alter.

Kinja'd!!! "Ash78, voting early and often" (ash78)
10/25/2017 at 15:09, STARS: 1

Feesibility Study

Phasability

Feazibility

BECAUSE REASONS

Kinja'd!!! "Textured Soy Protein" (texturedsoyprotein)
10/25/2017 at 15:20, STARS: 2

I hate the X4 and X6 because they no longer function as crossovers, in the name of chopping the back off an X3 or X5. The cargo room, rear headroom and visibility sucks. It’s too much of a tradeoff.

That said, I don’t mind the transverse engine X1, and I don’t mind this X2 based on it.

At the small end of the crossover size range, what excites me is clever packaging of the most possible interior and cargo room into a compact overall package. Being fun to drive is secondary.

Everyone is all like, “the original X1 35i is like a 335i 5-door hatchback!” but actually, the X1 35i sucks. The back seat is marginal at best. I’m 5'11" and with the driver’s seat set for myself, getting in back my knees push against the back of the seat. I fit better in the back of my wife’s Subaru Impreza, among many other vehicles. The suspension is way soft. It’s not that fun in corners. Its old-school 6-speed automatic needs to be flashed with xHP Flashtool to not suck. It’s not enough of the crossover benefits, and it’s not fun to drive enough. It’s a poor compromise.

The new X1 is still decent enough to drive for a crossover and it has tons more back seat and cargo room. If I were looking for a somewhat premium, somewhat fun, small crossover, the current X1 makes way more sense than the old one.

Crucially, the X2 is not an X1 with the back chopped off. It’s a clean-sheet design, basically more of a 5-door hatchback X1. The back end is still an upright, squared-off hatchback. Thanks to the squarish roofline and transverse engine platform, it’s still practical, and honestly I think it looks a lot cooler than the X1. With the seats folded down, it only has 8 cubic feet less cargo room than the X1. It has more back seat and cargo room than the stupid X4.

Now, is it better to drive than the X1? Well it’s the same platform, but 3 inches lower to the ground, and shorter in length, so it’s probably similar, but that lower height probably has a somewhat noticeable effect.

So yeah, you’re trading a little less practicality and a little higher cost for cooler styling, but unlike the stupid-ass X4 and X6, it still accomplishes its primary purpose of being a generally useful (for its overall size) vehicle, and it’s at least less tippy than the X1. All of which is way better of a compromise than the X4 and X6.

Kinja'd!!! "LJ909" (lj909)
10/25/2017 at 15:24, STARS: 0

That all may be true, but its offers nothing that the X1 or X3 cant do better. Sharing the same platform as the X1 means this thing will suck on road. Everyone knows the excellent driving dynamics the X1 had went out the window when BMW switched from RWD to FWD. On top of that, the styling may be cool, but it cuts into it being actually practical. This thing is, like all the other GT,GC and X4 and X6 models is a rolling answer to a question no one asked. It just brings more questions, mainly, why?

Kinja'd!!! "rb1971 ARGQF+CayenneTurbo+E9+328GTS+R90S" (rb1971)
10/25/2017 at 15:27, STARS: 1

I was just talking to a friend about this over the weekend! From the 2002 and E9, up through about 2002 - so about 30 years - BMW was the king of sports luxury. Then everything kind of went to hell, with the market changing to SUVs (not BMWs fault) and with BMW M trying to compete with AMG to make a German muscle car, rather than a really precise scalpel.

This doesn’t mean they don’t still make amazing cars. I love my i8 and the M2 is great. But they have definitely lost their way.

Kinja'd!!! "BahamaTodd" (bahamatodd)
10/25/2017 at 15:32, STARS: 2

From the BMW website:

When trademark traits define you, have the courage to change. An intriguing inversion gives the kidney grille a bold new look, for a fresh take on a distinctive icon. Positioned low like a coupe, the chrome frame and black high-gloss bars of the grille add to the focused, energetic appearance of the X2 - barely containing the power within.

They inverted the kidney grille and consider it a design feature. They have officially run out of ideas.

Kinja'd!!!

X1 for comparison:

Kinja'd!!!

Kinja'd!!! "LJ909" (lj909)
10/25/2017 at 15:34, STARS: 0

Jesus. They really need to get back to basics of buildings actual cars.

Kinja'd!!! "Textured Soy Protein" (texturedsoyprotein)
10/25/2017 at 15:35, STARS: 0

The original X1 didn’t have excellent driving dynamics. I know, I’ve driven them on multiple occasions.

For an extra $2000 over the X1, the X2 gives you cooler looks and gets you 3 inches closer to the ground. It gives up a little bit of interior room.

Is that worth an extra $2000? Not necessarily, but it’s not a huge price penalty, and it’s way less compromised at being an actual usable crossover than the X4 & X6. Both of which, by the way, are also not lower to the ground than the X3 & X5.

I’ve driven the current-gen Mini Clubman which is actually pretty fun, if underpowered. It and the Mini Countryman are the same platform as the X1 & X2. It’s a good, competent platform. Basically the X1 is the Countryman and the X2 is the Clubman, and both of them have the same power level as the JCW Minis.

I like both the X2 and the Clubman because they do a good job of being practical, while also being lower to the ground and less tippy than their more crossover-ish siblings. The big knock against the Clubman is the silly van doors in the back compromise the rear visibility, but the X2 has no such problem.

Kinja'd!!! "BahamaTodd" (bahamatodd)
10/25/2017 at 15:38, STARS: 1

ITS HAPPENING!

https://jalopnik.com/comment-of-the-day-what-about-now-edition-1802197615

In this case this sport CUV is also known as a hatchback.

Kinja'd!!!

Kinja'd!!! "LJ909" (lj909)
10/25/2017 at 15:58, STARS: 1

Ive driven the X1 as well, and for what it was, it was pretty good, though the steering was numb.

If being tippy is a concern, why not just buy a wagon? Thats my whole problem with this and other crossovers when people say being too high is a concern. IN most instances, these vehicles are barley taller than the sedans and compacts they are based on, while offering worse fuel economy, being more expensive and driving worse than those very vehicles. I don’t like the X1 nor the X3, but there’s no way I would consider the X2. From what Ive seen and read, theres nothing redeeming about it thats makes me want it over a competitor. The styling is ok, but the rake of the back would make me regret buying it after I realize how the cargo capacity has been affected.

Kinja'd!!! "theloudmouth" (theloudmouth)
10/25/2017 at 16:11, STARS: 1

They literally look like the automotive form of an over expressive emo teenager from a way too good of a home to be complaining that much about life.

Kinja'd!!! "duurtlang" (duurtlang)
10/25/2017 at 16:18, STARS: 0

BMW. 1916-2017. RIP.

Although, if you told me 1916-2005 (or so) I wouldn’t object.

Kinja'd!!! "Textured Soy Protein" (texturedsoyprotein)
10/25/2017 at 16:54, STARS: 0

The things that bother you apply to the X4 and X6. Not the X2.

The X4 and X6 are stupid because all you’re getting is a swoopy back end and it screws up the cargo space, rear headroom, and visibility, but they don’t sit any lower to the ground than the X3 and X5 so they don’t drive any better.

Kinja'd!!!

Kinja'd!!!

Kinja'd!!!

Kinja'd!!!

The roofline of the X4 and X6 starts curving downward at the B-pillar. By the time you get to where rear passengers’ heads are, it’s already too low, and the rear window is tiny and you can’t see out of it. The cargo room sucks. But their ride height is exactly the same so they’re no less tippy in corners than the X3 and X5.

But the X2's back end isn’t swoopy. It’s still an upright hatchback. It’s literally de-crossover-fying the X1 into a smaller, better-looking 5-door hatch with vaguely crossover-ish cladding.

Kinja'd!!!

Kinja'd!!!

It is, in essence, “just buying the wagon.” It’s lower to the ground, it has more compact overall dimensions, but the upright roofline means that unlike the X4 and X6, rear headroom and visibility aren’t compromised.

Also unlike the X4 and X6, the lower ride height and smaller overall dimensions vs. the X1 means it’s better to drive than the X1.

Yes, it’s a bit smaller of a vehicle on the same platform for a bit more money, but there are some tangible benefits, and not the stupid compromise of the X4 & X6.

Kinja'd!!! "RPM esq." (rpm3)
10/25/2017 at 16:59, STARS: 0

The way that it is different from the X1 is that the hatch area is less useful. Just like how the X4's back area is less useful than the X3's, and the X6's cargo space is less useful than the X5's. I know someone who has an X6 and a large dog. The large dog rides on the back seat, erasing the space for additional passengers, because it can’t go in the back. Why does she not own an X5? I’ll never know.

Kinja'd!!! "RPM esq." (rpm3)
10/25/2017 at 17:11, STARS: 1

In my view two types of crossovers make sense: 1. the small ones like the X1 that are just slightly tall wagons, and 2. the bigger ones that look like SUVs but are car-based. They both have something in common: a nearly vertical hatch in the back, which gives them a tall cargo area. The former is just a wagon with arguably better visibility and a little more ground clearance; the latter is a reasonable alternative to a minivan or true SUV for people who want lots of interior space, think vans are ugly, and don’t need or want the additional capability and worse driving city/highway driving dynamics (and possibly fuel economy) of a true truck/SUV.

For the most part, crossovers are practical and comfortable and safe and not awful to drive, and while I don’t want one, I understand why lots of people do. Like any other segment, the bad ones (notably anything with a CVT) suck, but the better ones are fine! The real enemy as far as I’m concerned isn’t crossovers per se, it’s the ones with cramped interiors despite their large footprint, and/or sloped hatch areas, that are completely pointless.

Kinja'd!!! "Spasoje" (Spasoje)
10/25/2017 at 18:01, STARS: 0

I guess this can only mean the Merc GLA is selling pretty well...

Kinja'd!!! "LJ909" (lj909)
10/25/2017 at 18:04, STARS: 1

Kinda I guess. YTD through September they’ve moved just over 17 thousand. Last year they sold almost 26 thousand.

Kinja'd!!! "Spasoje" (Spasoje)
10/25/2017 at 18:12, STARS: 1

Interesting. Wonder what the margins are on them...

Kinja'd!!! "LJ909" (lj909)
10/25/2017 at 18:17, STARS: 0

Thats a good question. I wish I knew. But sadly these things sale. You can find em used in the low 20's now though.

Kinja'd!!! "Spasoje" (Spasoje)
10/25/2017 at 18:21, STARS: 1

I see them all the time around here. Some are Car2Go units, but plenty are privately-owned ones... Low 20s sounds like pretty high resale value!

Kinja'd!!! "DarkCreamyBeer" (darkcreamybeer)
10/25/2017 at 19:44, STARS: 1

Am I the only idiot that likes this thing (at least based on the pics I’ve seen so far)?

Kinja'd!!! "LJ909" (lj909)
10/25/2017 at 19:51, STARS: 0

No. Other people like it. The design is ok looking. Its just a stupid model that wasnt needed.

Kinja'd!!! "thatsmr" (thatsmr)
10/25/2017 at 22:35, STARS: 1

Meanwhile Lexus will sell 100k Rxs this year and 55-60k NXs, everybody else has to make numerous CUVs to even attempt to keep up. GLA is a cynical insult to the brand, and the Infiniti version has even cheaper feel trying to undercut all for the “#letsbuythebadge” race.

Kinja'd!!! "BiTurbo228 - Dr Frankenstein of Spitfires" (biturbo228)
10/26/2017 at 05:36, STARS: 1

So glad I gave up giving a toss about modern cars years ago. There isn’t a single one that I actually want enough to buy, and no real inkling that any manufacturer will make one that I do.

Closest it gets is the ND MX-5, but not enough for me to buy one when I can get every other car I want (SD1, Alfetta saloon, XJS, Biturbo at the moment) for the price of just the MX-5...

Kinja'd!!! "RT" (rt-p)
10/26/2017 at 16:45, STARS: 0

No reason to hate here. People buy crossovers, BMW makes a car that people buy.

I’ll stick to their other cars instead.

Kinja'd!!! "IAN_Z" (theonline)
10/26/2017 at 20:34, STARS: 1

At least it’s slightly better than the concept?

Kinja'd!!!