Inside Jalop HQ

Kinja'd!!! by "William Byrd" (thedriver)
Published 10/06/2017 at 12:42

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STARS: 5


Here’s the original post from yesterday. Repasted below. That’s not a word.

I love the image of you drunkenly staggering through the Jalop newsroom at 9am yelling at everyone.

PG: KRISTEN! Do some more of that fancy shit, people fucking love that.

Kristen: Sure thing boss, on it.

PG: AND WHERE’S TRACY? I need that Jeep story on my desk yesterday .

Kristen: I’m not sure, I think his truck broke down.

PG: BALLABAN!!! WHERE’S MY DEPUTY EDITOR?

Kristen: He’s making a TV show, remember?

PG: I didn’t approve any such thing. A TV show? That’s ludicrous. Next you’ll say that Raph is with him.

Kristen: He is.

PG: WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK? Where’s that SAITO guy, this Japanese shit is doing well. I want more of that.

Kristen: He lives in Japan sir.

PG: GOD DAMNIT, what about Clavey?

Kristen: Canada.

PG: JESUS CHRIST, DOES ANYONE COME TO WORK HERE? WHERE’S TORCHINSKY?

Kristen: Driving something weird probably.

PG: What about COLLINS?

Kristen: LA

PG: And STEF?

Kristen: Austin.

PG: WHY THE FUCK DID I MOVE TO NEW YORK CITY? I’LL BE IN MY OFFICE, WAKE UP ME UP WHEN YOU’VE GOT SOMETHING WORTH PUBLISHING! (Passes out on Alanis’ desk)

If you look at today’s FP, was pretty close!

Torch had to finish Tracy’s Jeep article.

Saito posted some cool Japan stuff.

PG finally remembered where Ballaban and Raph were.

We just needed this article on Aston’s to be fancier Kristen.

Tune in again for more “Inside Jalop HQ”. It’s not pretty.


Replies (4)

Kinja'd!!! "For Sweden" (rallybeetle)
10/06/2017 at 12:48, STARS: 1

Patrick does not support the transition to video

Kinja'd!!! "William Byrd" (thedriver)
10/06/2017 at 12:52, STARS: 1

Well we all know he wanted to convert to a full printed newspaper version years ago.

Kinja'd!!! "For Sweden" (rallybeetle)
10/06/2017 at 12:53, STARS: 2

I think Travis Okulski prints paper versions of websites

Kinja'd!!! "William Byrd" (thedriver)
10/06/2017 at 12:55, STARS: 2

I think he uses like a daguerreotype process or something. I forget. It’s new.