by "Tripper" (tripe46)
Published 10/04/2017 at 10:47
by "Tripper" (tripe46)
Published 10/04/2017 at 10:47
No Tags
STARS: 4
The S3 has been covered in a thin layer of dirt since we had some work done in our backyard last week. In addition to that about 40% of our yard is freshly seeded and covered with hay that needs to be kept wet. I’ve purchased a bunch of sprinklers/timers but they have not yet arrived, so I have been watering this huge area by hand every evening.
Yesterday evening I set out to wash the S3 and water the seeded areas of the yard. As I stepped out of my front door with a warm bucket of suds I see the enemy a few doors down... For whatever reason there are often solicitors in our neighborhood, some of them have knocked up after 9pm! I have been meaning to make a tasteful “If you’re not selling girl scout cookies, piss the fuck off” sign for the side of the mailbox but I’ve yet to do so.
Anyway I see it all happening in my mind, me just washing the car then this bastard comes over and starts chatting me up about something I don’t care about. Then I’ll have to say something like, “unless you’re handing out $100 bills, I’m not interested.” Chances are he’ll still persist suggesting that I need lawn treatment, a new roof, new windows, god, or to sign some petition to stop dogs from farting in his general direction.
Part of me just wants to retreat inside until he has passed my house, but I know in my heart that won’t work. He’ll eagle eye me at the end of his route when I’m least expecting. Besides, fuck that I’m not going to hide in my house because of some clowndick solicitor.
As I finishing scrubbing the back of the car and reach for the hose I look up and our eyes meet as hes leaving the old lady’s house catty corner to ours. This is the point where he waves and I wave and he comes over and ruins my night. Instead of waving I just glared at him like “ don’t motherfucker, fucking don’t even think about coming the fuck over here.” I almost cracked a smile thinking about what I looked like from his perspective. He looked away, and I went back to washing the car. Then he walked right past my driveway and to my neighbors doorstep (who I warned via text) but it was too late. His wife answered the door...
My wife saw him pass and comes outside like, “whoa, what happened there? Did you say something to him?” I said, “no I just looked at him like I was going to murder him if he came over here...and it worked!” She laughed knowing exactly the look I gave him.
Life is funny. I wonder if he went home and told his wife that he skipped over one house because the guy looked like a psycho...
Happy Wednesday!
"Party-vi" (party-vi)
10/04/2017 at 10:59, STARS: 2
I enjoy answering the door for solicitors. It’s their job, and I try to make their experience at my house a very pleasant “no, thank you.”
Unless you’re trying to fuck with my utilities. No, you don’t need to see a copy of my gas/electric bill you cocksucker, get the fuck off my porch.
"random001" (random001)
10/04/2017 at 11:00, STARS: 2
What do you mean “looked like”???
"Tripper" (tripe46)
10/04/2017 at 11:06, STARS: 0
When I was “mean muggin” him. I was thinking to myself “I probably look so ridiculous right now, staring at this guy like a crazy person” Then I almost laughed.
"random001" (random001)
10/04/2017 at 11:09, STARS: 1
No no, I mean you ARE a psycho, not that you looked like one. Subtle difference. Heh.
"Highlander-Datsuns are Forever" (jamesbowland)
10/04/2017 at 11:09, STARS: 2
You can say no thank you all day long but those fuckers don’t stop talking. That’s when you have to make the decision to be overtly rude back to them or not...
"Tripper" (tripe46)
10/04/2017 at 11:11, STARS: 1
I’m never unpleasant unless I have to be, but I don’t want anyone on my doorstep unless it’s a neighbor/friend or someone that I have invited over. It’s literally the worst way to contact me. It happens at work too. Copier sales guys always just show up like “I was just passing through the neighborhood...”. I won’t do business with door-to-door anyone just based on principal.
"ToyotaFamily" (robbav35)
10/04/2017 at 11:12, STARS: 0
Are solicitors in your area that hard to get rid of? Anytime I’m doing something outside and one comes up, I simply say “I’m busy and prefer not to talk”. Offer them some water if it’s hot and send em on their way.
"Funktheduck" (funktheduck)
10/04/2017 at 11:15, STARS: 2
My beware of dog signs and large dogs generally keep them at bay.
"Tripper" (tripe46)
10/04/2017 at 11:16, STARS: 0
Oh well yea haha. I just hate being hassled at home. Even a polite “no thanks” is more than I want to allocate time for.
"Tripper" (tripe46)
10/04/2017 at 11:19, STARS: 0
Most of the time a polite no thanks is all it takes, but a few times they have been overly pushy. Last night I couldn’t even bother with that. I just wanted to wash my car and water my lawn and not be bothered haha.
"Tripper" (tripe46)
10/04/2017 at 11:22, STARS: 1
That’s the thing, they get the dog all riled up...It’s always when were eating dinner etc... Catch me on a Saturday morning when I’m heading out to check the mail, I’ll give you 30 seconds, but that is never when they come around.
"Party-vi" (party-vi)
10/04/2017 at 11:34, STARS: 0
I am the master of gentle shut-downs.
"random001" (random001)
10/04/2017 at 11:46, STARS: 1
I agree with this sentiment. Now to get the wife to agree, that’s the challenge.
"Funktheduck" (funktheduck)
10/04/2017 at 11:50, STARS: 1
When you have a trio of dogs going at the door like they’re gonna eat somebody like myself, they very often just run away before I can answer or sheepishly ask if I have a minute. I say no. They say thanks and run (sometimes literally)
"ToyotaFamily" (robbav35)
10/04/2017 at 11:53, STARS: 1
Haha totally understand. I was halfway through replacing shocks on my truck once and covered in crud, guy just would not leave. I politely told him “gtfo”.
"Akio Ohtori - RIP Oppo" (akioohtori)
10/04/2017 at 14:28, STARS: 2
My feelings summarized by someone else’s tweet:
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