by "Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo" (thetomselleck)
Published 09/14/2017 at 11:18
by "Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo" (thetomselleck)
Published 09/14/2017 at 11:18
Tags: FUCK PEOPLE
STARS: 15
Last night, I was having some beers with my brother in law. A well-dressed man in a Nissan Hardbody pulls up and proceeds to attempt to sell ADT security to us.
The conversation kept going and going. There were some sales tactics in there, but it was all fear-mongering. When asked to describe the actual product, he kept avoiding the subject. He also asked several times what we owned and how many entrances there were to this home. He had a bogus story about being an independent contractor under some subsidiary selling ADT.
Things turned south for him when I revealed that I actually had ADT, and pointed out inconsistencies in his prices scheme. He was then like, “Yeah it would be closer to that amount I guess.” My brother in law said several times, “You ask a lot of weird questions.”
We stumble to the end, and my BIL said he’d have to think about it. The initially aggressive salesman suddenly can’t wait to leave.
“Do you have a brochure?”
“Nah, man. I’m just offering a one-time deal from ADT.”
“And you have... no information at all.
“...”
“Do you have a business card?”
“Are you gonna buy from me?”
“I’m gonna think about it, how about that card?”
“It’s just a one time offer.”
“Well I guess you got your answer.”
“You don’t think I’m legit?”
“You’re not legit. You’re asking me all these questions, you don’t have any paperwork, you don’t have a card.”
The salesman is backpedaling towards his truck. He gets in and drive to the back of the cul-de-sac and u-turns. We stand in front of his truck.
“Oh you’re gonna take pictures of my plate huh?”
“Yeah that’s the idea.”
“You could have just asked if I’m legit, instead of making a big deal out of it.”
“I DID ask. Three times.”
“You don’t have to—”
“I’m calling the cops right now.”
He yells out something and floors it.
We called corporate this morning. They confirm he doesn’t work for the company and that everything we say was a familiar scam. The Lake Stevens police have multiple reports about this person.
Basically the scam is to scout your house while “selling” you something. Then their buddies come back later and steal your shit.
So anyway, be careful.
"If only EssExTee could be so grossly incandescent" (essextee)
09/14/2017 at 11:22, STARS: 17
I think your first clue that something was amiss was that a well dressed person stepped out of a Hardbody.
"Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo" (thetomselleck)
09/14/2017 at 11:23, STARS: 0
Not entirely true, my salesman for ADT drove an old Prelude.
"CB" (jrcb)
09/14/2017 at 11:24, STARS: 0
Yikes, that’s pretty terrifying. Hopefully they catch the guy.
"If only EssExTee could be so grossly incandescent" (essextee)
09/14/2017 at 11:25, STARS: 5
I’ve never seen someone driving a Hardbody who had something other than a wife beater on.
Granted, I’ve only ever seen like two of the things so it’s not a great sample size...
"Party-vi" (party-vi)
09/14/2017 at 11:26, STARS: 0
I had a rep from Power Windows come out and give me a free quote to replace windows at my house, and I thanked him for his time (after 2 hours of measuring and working up a number) and he got pissy that I didn’t want to pay $1,400/window. Barely shook my hand as he left.
"Highlander-Datsuns are Forever" (jamesbowland)
09/14/2017 at 11:26, STARS: 0
I am pretty sure the base model hard body came without a bumper. Memory foggy but I recall that being a thing.
"AddictedToM3s - Drives a GC" (addictedtom3s)
09/14/2017 at 11:28, STARS: 1
Yikes that’s frightening. Especially because now you know they were targeting your house. We had our house broken into twice within two weeks. We got so fed up with it we got ADT. One time I was still in the shower when they tried. Because of that now I’m irrationally angry everytime someone I don’t know and isn’t in UPS/FedEx/USPS uniform is at my door.
"PotbellyJoe and 42 others" (potbellyjoe)
09/14/2017 at 11:29, STARS: 0
Their windows are quite expensive at first offer. I found if you ignore them enough, while having a shit-ton of windows in your 100 year-old house, they bring their prices down to super-reasonable really, really quickly.
"HFV has no HFV. But somehow has 2 motorcycles" (hondasfordsvolvo)
09/14/2017 at 11:29, STARS: 2
The only hard bodies I see anymore are drivin by nice old people who took care of them. Because all the other ones have rusted away.
"cmill189 - sans Volvo" (cmill189)
09/14/2017 at 11:30, STARS: 0
Well that’s fun. Good thing you caught on. Have you ever had one of the fake IRS calls where they threaten to send the police to arrest you?
"If only EssExTee could be so grossly incandescent" (essextee)
09/14/2017 at 11:30, STARS: 2
Or been trashed by trashy owners
"Arrivederci" (arrividerci)
09/14/2017 at 11:30, STARS: 0
Unless you have massive windows, that’s expensive. A good friend just had 13 windows professionally replaced in their house and the total tab was $8000 for windows and labor.
"HFV has no HFV. But somehow has 2 motorcycles" (hondasfordsvolvo)
09/14/2017 at 11:30, STARS: 0
And the worst part is there are people stupid enough to to fall for it
"Jcarr" (jcarr)
09/14/2017 at 11:31, STARS: 5
Yeah, but did he piss in your bathtub?
"Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo" (thetomselleck)
09/14/2017 at 11:32, STARS: 0
Yes, that’s a big one right now. They like to target old people with that one.
"shop-teacher" (shop-teacher)
09/14/2017 at 11:35, STARS: 0
That sounds vaguely familiar, now that you mention it.
"shop-teacher" (shop-teacher)
09/14/2017 at 11:36, STARS: 0
Scumbags.
It looks like there could be a second license plate under that one.
"Rust and Dust - Oppositelock Forever" (rustanddust)
09/14/2017 at 11:36, STARS: 11
"Urambo Tauro" (urambotauro)
09/14/2017 at 11:38, STARS: 1
Seriously, I think you handled that really well.
"CalzoneGolem" (calzonegolem)
09/14/2017 at 11:39, STARS: 0
Don’t need ADT if you’ve got a dog.
"cmill189 - sans Volvo" (cmill189)
09/14/2017 at 11:41, STARS: 0
Yep. I’m not sure how we go about as a society teaching older folks to not be so forthcoming with personal information. Mormons here (Utah) seem to get scammed pretty easily as well. They’re taught to be trusting, polite, and are so often welcome strangers (missionaries) into their homes. Those aren’t bad traits; they just make easy targets for assholes.
"The Powershift in Steve's '12 Ford Focus killed it's TCM (under warranty!)" (steve-still-hasnt-wrecked-the-powershift-in-his-12-ford-focus)
09/14/2017 at 11:47, STARS: 3
Sounds like you need a Shower Glock, just in case.
"Steve is equipped with Electronic Fool Injection" (itsalwayssteve)
09/14/2017 at 11:56, STARS: 2
Here in the Souf we still have tons of 80s/90s pickups running around. I tried to buyt a 95 single cab/4cyl 5speed from my father-in-law when he picked it up at a dealer sale. It was clean but had 270k miles on it and ran a bit rough due to ignition issues.
He told me he had $400 into it including new cap/rotor/wires/plugs -and I offered $600 if it ran, for his trouble. He said “nope. some sucker’ll give me $800 down and $50 bucks a week for a year.” I can’t blame him but he confirmed what we already knew about BHPH lots.
"Party-vi" (party-vi)
09/14/2017 at 12:07, STARS: 0
I replaced all the windows at Ft Myer base housing. Trust me, $1,400 a window is ridiculous.
"Party-vi" (party-vi)
09/14/2017 at 12:08, STARS: 0
They reached back out a year later and I was kind enough not to waste their time again. Truth be told I would just install my own replacement windows.
"TheRealBicycleBuck" (therealbicyclebuck)
09/14/2017 at 12:15, STARS: 2
We have a security system. We supplemented it with BIG DOG.
A sales guy came by our house a few weeks ago and tried to sell us a new system. I stepped outside to talk to him. The entire time we were talking, the BIG DOG was on the other side of the door, expressing her displeasure at being left inside where she couldn’t bite the unwelcome visitor. woof.
Funny thing was, he was so distracted that he didn’t even see the security system sticker on our front door. When I pointed it out, he realized he just wasted 10 minutes trying to sell a system to a homeowner who already used their company. I suggested he get a map of the current installations so he didn’t make the same mistake twice.
:)
"PotbellyJoe and 42 others" (potbellyjoe)
09/14/2017 at 12:16, STARS: 1
Yeah, totally get it. They priced themselves down to doing 19 windows for us at around $12k, the Anderson/Pella guys were at $15-18k.
We pulled the trigger and I’ve been happy. Anything was an improvement over the single-pane glass that we had from the 1930s that were jamming and not staying warm in the winter.
That being said, I beat the crap out of the guy for a while before they came in with that number. And I am not into exterior carpentry.
"unclevanos (Ovaltine Jenkins)" (unclevanos)
09/14/2017 at 12:18, STARS: 1
Can the police do something? I had a fake debt collector calling me and leaving a voicemail everyday. I have no credit history so it didn’t make sense. I pay my bills so I’m not a deadbeat bum. Dude leaves a message with a robo call saying the collection company name with so much static you couldn’t tell what it was and just went to his actual voice said “yo this is a debt collector please call back”. And the yo was in the message. Blocked the number but kept going to voicemail with his shitty message. White pages said the number was a scam. I finally unblocked the number told him to stop calling and reported the number to the FCC and do not call list. Dude can go eat a rear main seal.
"Chariotoflove" (chariotoflove)
09/14/2017 at 12:27, STARS: 0
Why didn’t you offer to sell him an ADT package in return?
"Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo" (thetomselleck)
09/14/2017 at 12:30, STARS: 1
Pictured: our “small-bananas” police reports.
"Chariotoflove" (chariotoflove)
09/14/2017 at 12:31, STARS: 8
If you see a person who claims to be UPS/FedEx, call the cops and don’t open the door. They are not. Real UPS or FedEx delivery people never wait to be seen. They ring the doorbell and sprint to their vans, trying to get away before being spotted.
"unclevanos (Ovaltine Jenkins)" (unclevanos)
09/14/2017 at 12:31, STARS: 0
Don’t worry Hondabro P.I. is on the case
"Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo" (thetomselleck)
09/14/2017 at 12:32, STARS: 0
He’s on the case, but he won’t be there anytime soon without a car.
"Chariotoflove" (chariotoflove)
09/14/2017 at 12:33, STARS: 0
Glad you had enough fun with him to make a decent story out of it, at least.
"cbell04" (cbell04)
09/14/2017 at 12:36, STARS: 1
To be fair the guy driving a hard body would look at all your Toyotas and think you must be rich. Hard body is the poor man’s taco
"unclevanos (Ovaltine Jenkins)" (unclevanos)
09/14/2017 at 12:47, STARS: 2
0/10 has no Ferrari 308 and Hawaii shirt.
"CarsofFortLangley - Oppo Forever" (carsoffortlangley)
09/14/2017 at 13:19, STARS: 2
You should have seen how impressed the officer was the last time I called the non emerg. line.
Someone stole my shop vac. No big deal right?, but I thought I would notify the non emergency line as everyone should when a crime occurs.
Because they cut a lock to get the vacuum, the police considered that a B&E and HAD to send someone, which is crazy!!
Needless to say, this officer did not give two shits about my stolen craftsman vacuum cleaner
"DipodomysDeserti" (dipodomysdeserti)
09/14/2017 at 14:34, STARS: 1
To an actual criminal (not a tweeker) that sign reads “Attention, there are guns in this home. Come back with tools when no one is home”.