by "Svend" (svend)
Published 09/08/2017 at 01:11
by "Svend" (svend)
Published 09/08/2017 at 01:11
No Tags
STARS: 11
Two medical students were walking along the street when they saw an old man
Walking with his legs spread apart.
He was stiff-legged and walking slowly.
One student said to his friend:
“I’m sure that poor old man has Peltry Syndrome.
Those people walk just like that.”
The other student says:
“No, I don’t think so. The old man surely has Zovitzki Syndrome.
He walks slowly and his legs are apart, just as we learned in class.”
Since they couldn’t agree they decided to ask the old man. They approached him
and one of the students said to him, “we’re medical students and couldn’t help
but notice the way you walk, but we couldn’t agree on the syndrome you might have ...
Could you tell us what it is?”
The old man said,
“I’ll tell you, but first you tell me what you two fine medical students think.”
The first student said, “I think it’s Peltry Syndrome.”
The old man said, “You thought - but you are wrong.”
The other student said, “I think you have Zovitzki Syndrome.”
The old man said, “You thought - but you are wrong.”
So they asked him, “Well, old timer, what do you have?”
The old man said, “well, I thought it was wind - but I was wrong, too!”
"DC3 LS, will be perpetually replacing cars until the end of time" (dc3ls-)
09/08/2017 at 01:15, STARS: 2
Whoa. Good thing you weren’t trying for a text buffer lol.
From the front page (of Oppo)
"PartyPooper2012" (PartyPooper2012)
09/08/2017 at 08:25, STARS: 2
Thanks... Most of these posts are complaints about one thing or another. Someone being too happy about a new bumper on a new car and 15 comments below it say how awful the new bumper is...
I honestly think we need more light-hearted jokes around here. Too much adulting going on these days.
"X37.9XXS" (x379xxs)
09/08/2017 at 10:38, STARS: 1
Svend
You owe me a new keyboard
and some replacement sinuses
"Svend" (svend)
09/08/2017 at 10:47, STARS: 1
Someone lent me a U2 Sat Nav, it’s rubbish, the streets have no names and I still haven’t found what I’m looking for!!
.
Off we went to our local pub only two blocks from the cottage.
I got him a Guinness. He didn’t like it, so I drank it. Then I got him a Kilkenny’s, he didn’t like that either, so I drank it.
I thought he might like some Harp Lager? He didn’t. I drank it. I thought maybe he’d like whiskey better than beer so we tried a Jameson’s, nope!
In desperation, I had him try that rare Redbreast, Ireland’s finest. He wouldn’t even smell it. What could I do but drink it!
By the time I realised he just didn’t like to drink, I was so bloody drunk I could hardly push his pram back home
.
A Politician, a TV Reporter and a British soldier were captured by ISIS.
They were as usual sentenced to death by beheading.
Unexpectedly, the ISIS leader said they could each have one last request before sentence was carried out.
The Politician asked to hear a rendering of ‘Keep the red flag flying here’.
The Reporter asked that the beheading be televised so that even when he was dead his face would be on TV.
The soldier asked to be kicked three times up the bottom.
As the soldier’s was such an unusual request ISIS decided to carry this out first, and as the last kick landed, the soldier pulled a hidden 9 mm pistol out of his smock, shot three terrorists dead, grabbed one of their fallen AK47s and shot dead the rest of the terrorists.
The other two prisoners were amazed, and asked why he requested to be kicked three times before drawing his gun.
“Because”, said the soldier, “when we get back to the UK I don’t want you pair saying it was an unprovoked attack !”
"X37.9XXS" (x379xxs)
09/08/2017 at 10:55, STARS: 1
I actually had forgotten how bad Brit jokes are
One feels embarrassed for laughing.
(I remember the unprovoked attack one from Viet Nam)
"Svend" (svend)
09/08/2017 at 11:04, STARS: 2
!!! UNKNOWN CONTENT TYPE !!!