by "DaftRyosuke - So Long and Thanks for All the Fish!" (daft-ryosuke)
Published 09/06/2017 at 14:21
by "DaftRyosuke - So Long and Thanks for All the Fish!" (daft-ryosuke)
Published 09/06/2017 at 14:21
No Tags
STARS: 0
SC buffer image. This is a post about life. If you’re not into that stuff, I understand, and you don’t have to read this. It’s just I’m out of options and I don’t know where else to turn.
On Saturday, my girlfriend got robbed at work. She wasn’t hurt, she complied with everything as advised by the store. Long story short, the manager pretty much valued the money over her life. So, she quit.
Today her mom tells her that because she quit and now has no means to support the family, she’s being kicked out tomorrow. This is after her mom actually supported the idea of quitting if they gave her bullshit.
I can’t do much about this, I know. I don’t have the monetary means to get us into an apartment. My mom doesn’t want her moving in with us either. However, I don’t really want her to end up in some homeless shelter. I know she can take care of herself, but I just feel afraid.
On top of all this, I’m tired of my job. I was hired at this place with tons of promise, they pampered it up to be this fantastic place and it’s turning out to be the opposite. Plus there’s no urgency for me to advance, which I desperately need because I’m tired of living at home with my mom. It’s time for me to get out into this world.
Finally, I just received an email that my classes this semester have not been paid for, because my financial aid has yet to be approved due to a fuck up by the school’s finance department. I don’t know when my financial aid will be here, and I have until the 11th until I’m kicked out of school.
So yeah, life’s not going too well at the moment. If someone could give me some advice of some sort, or just something to reassure me not to panic. That’d be great.
"diplodicus" (diplodicus)
09/06/2017 at 14:31, STARS: 1
You talk to anyone in the adminstration about the financial aid? If it’s their error that is holding up the money it seems like they should give you leeway on the payment being late.
"DaftRyosuke - So Long and Thanks for All the Fish!" (daft-ryosuke)
09/06/2017 at 14:33, STARS: 0
Yeah. I just did that yesterday. They said they’re trying to get it done ASAP but it doesn’t seem like it’s working quick enough.
"diplodicus" (diplodicus)
09/06/2017 at 14:40, STARS: 0
Maybe try and talk to a lawyer. They might not be able to legally expel you since it’s no fault of your own.
"Chan - Mid-engine with cabin fever" (superchan7)
09/06/2017 at 14:41, STARS: 1
I can understand parents being wary of letting “kiddo’s GF” move in, so it would be desirable to avoid that as much as possible to maintain your respective family relationships. That she is getting kick-out threats is relevant, but ultimately not your mom’s business.
I’m not going to assume that your GF “rage quit” her job, but that aspect is lacking in detail. Regardless, what options are there to get your GF back on her feet? What field(s) has she worked in?
"DaftRyosuke - So Long and Thanks for All the Fish!" (daft-ryosuke)
09/06/2017 at 14:49, STARS: 0
Mostly just retail. She’s gonna start applying for jobs soon I know she will. The fact that she’s getting kicked out in the meantime is what bothers me the most.
"WilliamsSW" (williamssw)
09/06/2017 at 14:50, STARS: 0
Geez, that sucks - a double load of bullshit that your GF has gotten in the last week, none of which she deserves.
Seems ridiculous to me that her mom is kicking her out after just a few days of being unemployed - presume she’s looking for a new gig and can negotiate a reprieve from her mom? Failing that, are there any other friends/family that could take her in? I presume your mom doesn’t want her and you under the same roof, which I kinda get.
Finally, it sounds like it’s time for you to look for a new job yourself - maybe your school can help with some ideas based on what you qualify for? Leave no stone unturned on that - friends, family, etc. all might help you find a better job - you deserve better!
"I Will Always Be The Honey Badger" (iwillalwaysbethehoneybadger)
09/06/2017 at 14:54, STARS: 0
Keep talking to the School Admin. Make sure everybody who has some say in what’s going on continues to know about it. Keep it civil, but be persistent. Squeaky wheel gets the grease, and all that.
Use the living at home to your advantage and try and save some money. If the rent in your area is out of your reach and you have a good relationship with your mom, stay. Having your own place isn’t worth financial ruin.
Given what we’ve heard, you’re GF’s mother sounds terrible. It’s possible she may need some separation. Help her get another job if she can, and talk your mom into letting her pay rent for a bedroom.
OR
You could always sell your extra stuff, scratch together enough cash for a bus ticket, quit school, quit job, get married and move together to somewhere quiet and cheap.
Say, Wichita, Kansas. $465 a month for a decent one bedroom apartment with pool and gym access.
https://www.apartments.com/21w-at-wichita-state-wichita-ks/mwzj64h/
"His Stigness" (HisStigness)
09/06/2017 at 15:26, STARS: 1
There is most likely language buried somewhere in some agreement that lays the responsibility with the student to come up with the funds.
"nermal" (nermal)
09/06/2017 at 15:42, STARS: 2
The truest measure of character & driver of success in both life and relationships is how you manage adversity. Don’t panic! You can handle this.
First, the girlfriend. How’s the relationship? Do you see it progressing long-term? If you do see long term potential, but you abandon her in a time of need since she can “take care of herself”, that’s a very bad move. This is your chance to show her that you have strong long term potential.
I see five options - Convince her parents to let her stay there, convince your parents to let her stay with you, find a friend for her to stay with, find a place for her on her own, and find a place with you. Don’t make excuses to her as to why one of them won’t work, but rather provide solutions and support.
As far as school goes, is it their fault? If so, that’s their problem. They want to get your financial aid fixed, since that means that they get paid. If they don’t and you leave, they don’t get paid. If you’re not having luck with the financial aid office, try emailing higher ups within the school until somebody helps you and it’s fixed.
For work, grit your teeth for the short term, without losing sight of the long term. Look farther down the road, and what’s right in front of you won’t seem that bad. It’s like when you’re driving down the highway - If you stare at the pavement 3ft in front of your bumper, the road is coming at you super fast. If you look farther down the road though, everything slows down and is easier to handle.
"AddictedToM3s - Drives a GC" (addictedtom3s)
09/06/2017 at 15:50, STARS: 0
That’s rough, man. I’m sorry to hear you have to handle all of that.
Like everyone else, I can see why your mom wouldn’t want your GF moving in. Is she also in school? What is her work experience? Would she consider driving for Lyft?
For your job, what are you studying? Which year are you in at college?
Have you considered getting a studio apartment with your GF and splitting the rent? I imagine you’re both young and can make do with a single room for everything?
"DaftRyosuke - So Long and Thanks for All the Fish!" (daft-ryosuke)
09/06/2017 at 15:58, STARS: 0
She doesn’t have a car at the moment, so Lyft is out of the question. She’s not in school at the moment.
I’m working at a grocery store at the moment, but it’s one of those places that prides itself on being associate driven. We’re the only one who can buy into stocks and such things like that. However, the company is losing that touch. You can only really improve and go far if you devote your entire life into it, and I obviously can’t. I’m in school studying history and photography.
We can’t afford an apartment on our current pay rates, and school takes up most of my work time.
"DaftRyosuke - So Long and Thanks for All the Fish!" (daft-ryosuke)
09/06/2017 at 16:03, STARS: 0
The relationship is fantastic, we’ve been at it for some time now, and I see it going far. The problem is we’re a bit of a distance away from each other, and the only reason why I’m hoping that things go a way that she can take care of it is because I’m not readily available to go visit her all the time. It’s a day’s drive, but it’s far. She’s been through a lot of shit in her lifetime, though, so she’s very strong. That being said, I’ve offered all of my resources to help her get a new job and get some shelter over her head, though it’s really not much. She’s being very independent about it.
It’s a bit of everyone’s fault. They started a new financial aid process this year, and while I was working on getting that done, they gave me a phone call talking about a “problem” and that they needed to see my tax information. TL;DR, the wrong information was asked for, and they didn’t realize it until last week. The cashier’s office next door is wanting their money now. I finally gave the right stuff yesterday and they’re trying to get it done quickly but I don’t know if it’s quick enough.
The work part is right. I’m trying my best to make accomodations the best for the short term. I’ve tried to apply for other places but I’ve had no dice.
"Captain of the Enterprise" (justanotherdayinparadise)
09/06/2017 at 18:45, STARS: 0
I’m sorry your going through this. I know it must be frustrating and hard to deal with. For financial aid I would call or go every day to check in and make sure someone is working on it. Don’t stop going to classes yet as I would think they will try to find a way to get you through so they will get your money.
I don’t know what to tell you about your girlfriends housing. I have a friend who lived with his girlfriend in her parents house until they could move out. They are still together and everything seems fine but if it were to not work out while she was living there that could be a nasty situation.
Does her family threaten a lot or is this new? They could just be saying that to manipulate her into doing something they want. If they are it’s probably abusive anyway and she may need to see a social worker or something to find low income housing or something like that.
As for you job sometimes they suck and you have to keep going anyway. I would recommend not quitting until you’ve found another job if you choose to go that route.
Try to keep your head up and feel free to message me if you want to talk further.
"AddictedToM3s - Drives a GC" (addictedtom3s)
09/07/2017 at 01:43, STARS: 0
Ah, that makes things tougher. Are you able to help her get a job at your current spot? Employee referrals usually go a long way at most companies.
Based on what you described, I take it you work at Wegmans? If you do, have you looked into if they’ll pay your tuition?
Also, if you’re studying photography, have you considered selling images to Getty/other stock photo sites? They usually pay per photo and if they like enough of your shots they can give you a pretty decent “staff” pay for a side-gig.
https://workwithus.gettyimages.com/en
"DaftRyosuke - So Long and Thanks for All the Fish!" (daft-ryosuke)
09/07/2017 at 07:32, STARS: 1
Nope, I work at the southern equivalent, Publix. I’ve asked her before about working there but I know they’ll have an issue with her lifestyle, which she’s not going to enjoy. They will pay my tuition, but only for majors that they can benefit one.
I’ve never considered going into stock images. Interesting.