by "maristgrad" (maristgrad)
Published 09/06/2017 at 11:58
by "maristgrad" (maristgrad)
Published 09/06/2017 at 11:58
Tags: Cars and Coffee
STARS: 2
I seem to have the strangest experiences with the admin for my local cars and coffee, however, I always like to work off the assumption that maybe I’m being the asshole. Am I? Let’s dissect.
When did it become a bannable offense to curse at cars and coffee? It’s depressing how many people are so easily offended lately. Profanity, really?!
I was kindly told if I am ever caught cursing again, I will be banned. I suppose my error was in assuming that people who join car clubs are all above the age of 16 and are adults. I wasn’t told why my curse words were offensive. At either rate, it seems a bit ridiculous to police my local branch of cars and coffee to the point of which they’re limiting speech. The absurdity, I am literally laughing out loud right now. Nope, I can’t express frustration in a jokingly manner with a couple of curse words because one of my new car’s paint might already be ruined by ash falling from the sky caused by the wildfires in my area. Oh no if you do that, you’ll offend someone. The fact they actually took time out of their day, because they’re so offended , to gather evidence then warn me I would be banned from the club if I’m caught cursing again, is both fascinatingly sophomoric in disguising their true motives and hilariously moronic this is precedent they’re setting. TBH I feel they simply don’t like me, probably because they don’t really know me and assume I’m an asshole. If that’s the case they should boot me now. I didn’t join the club to have pretentious, fake, formal conversations with people who feel superior to others., I joined because I love cars. So, for now, I’m simply going to shut my mouth and enjoy cars in silence without speaking to anyone. Rather be safe than sorry, I don’t want to be the asshole.
And to be clear so there is no misunderstanding in what I said my exact statement was along the lines of
“aww shit. My girlfriend’s car has been parked outside in the snowing ash this entire time, I just bought her that thing for Christmas (if the bubbling clear coat from ash story is true) I’m fucked”
This is mainly a sarcastic post if it isn’t obvious. My only gripe is they threatened to ban me, they could’ve just asked me not to curse without a threat. Jeesh what a power trip.
"benjrblant" (benjblant)
09/06/2017 at 12:06, STARS: 1
You say:
I suppose my error was in assuming that people who join car clubs are all above the age of 16 and are adults.
but this isn’t exactly the most adult-like response:
So, for now, I’m simply going to shut my mouth and enjoy cars in silence without speaking to anyone.
"DutchieDC2R" (dutchiedc2r)
09/06/2017 at 12:07, STARS: 2
Why would you have the need to curse anyways? Nothing, absolutely nothing in your article validates cursing. Also, where do you get the conclusion that ‘not cursing’ in everyday speech is something only elitists do? It’s called being decent.
What other reasons did they give you to make you feel like they dont like you? Im sorry man, but from your text, it just seems like you acted in an immature way and they gave you a fair warning not to do so.
"Nibby" (nibby68)
09/06/2017 at 12:10, STARS: 9
next time just watch your fucking mouth
"CB" (jrcb)
09/06/2017 at 12:10, STARS: 0
What kind of cursing, and how much cursing? Because it sounds like if it’s frequent enough that they could gather evidence and care to do so sounds problematic.
Is it really that difficult to filter yourself for a few hours?
"Party-vi" (party-vi)
09/06/2017 at 12:11, STARS: 3
The use of curse words does not need validation or approval. Just like membership to this club is not a god given right.
"Party-vi" (party-vi)
09/06/2017 at 12:11, STARS: 6
Wait what cars & coffee is a club? I thought you just showed up and parked.
"My bird IS the word" (mybirdistheword)
09/06/2017 at 12:12, STARS: 3
Tbh you really don’t have to curse. But as someone who frequently does I’d tell him to go fuck himself.
It’s a stupid reason to ban someone unless you are being disruptive.
"marshknute" (marshknute)
09/06/2017 at 12:13, STARS: 0
Without knowing the full context, it sounds like they’re just being dicks. I’m curious to know if they even have the authority to even ask you to leave.
The worst I’ve seen was at Americana Manhasset. They hire security guards to be dicks to people...erm, I mean keep people safe. Some friends and I spotted one guard open some guy’s driver’s door, lean in and start shouting at him because he wouldn’t move his car (public lot, normal people trying to do weekend shopping amidst the car show).
One of my fellow carspotters called the guard out for being a dick, which prompted the guard to grab my buddy by the collar and push him back towards a flower bed (claiming he’s in the path of traffic and therefore in danger, don’t question me, I’m a “cop”).
I filmed the whole thing, called the cops, and got the guard detained/questioned. He kept a wide-ass birth from us the rest of the day. Sent the video to the security guard’s company. Never heard anything back.
"Berang" (berang)
09/06/2017 at 12:16, STARS: 0
Depends on the curses and if children were around I guess (and what level of curses said children’s parents deem acceptable in front of their children).
Also, since when is cars and coffee a club?
"DutchieDC2R" (dutchiedc2r)
09/06/2017 at 12:18, STARS: 1
You’re right, they don’t need to be used at all.
"LongbowMkII" (longbowmkii)
09/06/2017 at 12:19, STARS: 1
I understand if you’re yelling fuck loud enough to be heard blocks away or by the business/park that’s is likely hosting.
But dropping a “bullshit” in casual conversation? Mehhh, that’s petty as hell.
"TheBloody, Oppositelock lives on in our shitposts." (thebloody)
09/06/2017 at 12:20, STARS: 1
Abso-he*cking-lutely...
"Party-vi" (party-vi)
09/06/2017 at 12:21, STARS: 0
I am suspect of an individual that does not use foul language outside of professional settings. I would fully expect to hear colorful language at a local car meet, but probably not The Quail.
"Party-vi" (party-vi)
09/06/2017 at 12:21, STARS: 0
heck yes.
"Chariotoflove" (chariotoflove)
09/06/2017 at 12:22, STARS: 0
How do you get banned from a C&C? How is that even enforceable?
If you want intelligent analysis here, I think you need to provide more context. What was the nature and amount of your cursing? Was it done in anger? In front of kids? Did people ask you to stop, and you wouldn’t? Or are they just prudes?
Anyway, if you want to attend, I guess the ball is in your court. If you don’t feel welcome, you know what to do.
"Rust and Dust - Oppositelock Forever" (rustanddust)
09/06/2017 at 12:23, STARS: 2
I curse like a sailor, even jokingly using my grandfathers Maritime career to justify a genetic predisposition.
I will mind my language when in public, or around people who I know will take offense, or even may take offense, or if there are kids present, etc.
If I were marching through the aisles of my local grocery store uttering “fucking cheese, goddamned tomato prices, shitty orange juice”, I wouldn’t be surprised to find an employee asking me to mind my language or leave.
In the same vein, I’m sure there are dads who bring their kids to CnC, or folks that just don’t want to hear it. To be honest, they shouldn’t have to be subjected to profanity if they don’t want to.
"CobraJoe" (cobrajoe)
09/06/2017 at 12:26, STARS: 0
Our local cars and coffee is a very public and very family friendly show, I take my 2 and 5 year old kids most weekends. One parrots anything he can say, the other learns and repeats things he didn’t even seem to notice. If there was constant loud cursing or vulgar language in the normal conversation, I probably wouldn’t show up very often.
I’m not against profanity or vulgar speech, but context is important. Just like how I don’t take my kids to the car night at the bar.
"merged-5876237249235911857-hrw8uc" (merged-5876237249235911857-hrw8uc)
09/06/2017 at 12:28, STARS: 0
As a father of young boys I can understand their sentiment and giving you a warning. Cursing isn’t normally necessary, but it happens time to time. I’ve become much more reserved with the words I choose to use, mainly because I don’t want my boys to parrot them back to me, or worse, to a teacher or schoolmate. Expand your vocabulary, or speak less, maybe. I’ve had to do both, but I err on the side of not speaking most of the time. I get in less trouble that way. I’d hate to be overheard by my sons or someone else’s child swearing like a sailor in public, it’s just not a nice thing to do.
"maristgrad" (maristgrad)
09/06/2017 at 12:41, STARS: 0
No one needs to curse, but people tend to do when they’re being expressive or when they’re frustrated. I mean really, we’re banning people now for using colorful language in what used to be an organic and dynamic car club? I didn’t realize cars and coffee was now a ferrari only polo wearing elitist club that thumbs their noses at everyone else, and while that’s bit of a provocative statement what is true is that it’s definately starting to feel that way in essence and it started long before my cursing.
"Nothing" (nothingatalluseful)
09/06/2017 at 12:43, STARS: 1
I don’t curse a ton. My wife sounds like a freakin’ sailor though. Lazy use of language annoys me, but doesn’t offend me. For example, that one Jalopnik contributor that pops in articles every couple of months that has to drop “Fucking” in every title of her article is annoying.
I bring my 7 year old son to car shows. I have no expectations of a curse free environment. However, when people are excessive, it’s annoying. “Did you see that fucking car? How fucking cool is that? He’s got a fucking supercharged 408 in that bitch. Fuckin a, man.” That person is a tool I don’t need to be around.
"maristgrad" (maristgrad)
09/06/2017 at 12:45, STARS: 3
lol I have a lexicon in my brain vocabulary isn’t my issue. But I 100% respect and understand where you’re coming from I wouldn’t want my nieces or nephews repeating what I say either and I take particular care not to curse when there are children around
"promoted by the color red" (whenindoubtflatout)
09/06/2017 at 12:57, STARS: 0
I can’t help but feel that there’s a little more to the story than you’re letting on.
Some guy walked up to my Miata with his friend and said I had a “gay” steering wheel (OEM) and he didn’t face any repercussions (not that I cared, anyways).
So, for now, I’m simply going to shut my mouth and enjoy cars in silence without speaking to anyone. Rather be safe than sorry, I don’t want to be the asshole.It really depends on the context.
Instead of thinking WHY they called you out, you’re going to take the childish way out.
"DutchieDC2R" (dutchiedc2r)
09/06/2017 at 12:59, STARS: 0
I dont know how it’s done where you are, but looking at the way the selection is done in deciding which cars are allowed and which not, I can’t say you’re wrong. As far as the cursing thing goes though, I still feel as if they are right in trying to distinguish themselves from every other club in trying to be social while maintaining some level of standard within the club.
I feel as if the step for members to take, which is just not cursing, isn’t that big of a step to take in order to stay a member or become a member. If that’s one of the requirements, it’s surely one of the easiest requirements to follow/uphold.
"DutchieDC2R" (dutchiedc2r)
09/06/2017 at 13:03, STARS: 0
I have to disagree. I can’t sit here and lie, pretend I’ve never cursed at a C&C, but I can understand them trying to prevent it at one of their venues/events.
"DutchieDC2R" (dutchiedc2r)
09/06/2017 at 13:07, STARS: 1
I have to admit that I dont know what The Quail is (I’m googling it as we speak), but I can understand the organization of this particular C&C trying to up their events (maybe in terms of public and/or cars, who knows) and starting off by setting standards like ‘No Cursing’. Sure, its not a catholic church event, but you’re also not at a random meet with a bunch of friends either.
If the ‘no cursing’ thing somehow makes the meet more of a social gathering or more along their lines of ‘What we intend to organize’, then so be it.
"Dru" (therealkennyd)
09/06/2017 at 13:44, STARS: 0
I want to weigh in with two perspectives.
Giving you the benefit of the doubt: sounds like someone within the org might have control issues. Assuming your use of colorful language was done strategically (more on that in the next take), I don’t really see any reason someone should get offended by it, or go so far as to threaten a ban. You’d have to be wound pretty tight to ban someone from a CnC for the occasional use of shit, hell, or fuck.
Giving them the benefit of the doubt: It would make sense if they were trying to preserve auditory purity for the sake of kids. I’m assuming there are no toddlers around when you swear, and you’re strategic enough in social situations that you wouldn’t if there were. I can only figure that the powers that be are trying to preserve a “family friendly” environment. Even in this take, threatening to ban you is weird.