Here's How Long it Takes to Go From Zero to 60 in a 32-Year Old Rolling Lunchbox with a Shot Front Suspension and Dubious Reliability™

by "Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo" (thetomselleck)
Published 08/28/2017 at 20:14

Tags: Tercel
STARS: 8

I said I would. And sometime before it eventually broke down on me, I did.

(Context: http://oppositelock.kinja.com/going-to-do-an-incredibly-unofficial-0-to-60-time-in-th-1796759008 )

Drumrollllllll please!

[Crickets]

... Okay! Let’s just do this.

!!! UNKNOWN CONTENT TYPE !!!

Official time was 17 point whatever seconds. SEVENTEEN. FREAKING. SECONDS. You could never have so much fun going so goddamn slow in anything else. Then again, it tried to kill me three times soooooooo all’s well that ends well!

Replies (16)

"Nibbles" (nibbles)
08/28/2017 at 20:31, STARS: 0

And now we all know why it blew chunks in the end

"Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo" (thetomselleck)
08/28/2017 at 20:34, STARS: 2

Because I tried to merge onto the interstate?

"Nibbles" (nibbles)
08/28/2017 at 20:39, STARS: 1

Because you obviously pushed it well beyond its capabilities ;)

"TheHondaBro" (wwaveform)
08/28/2017 at 20:44, STARS: 1

I like your elbow.

"aberson Bresident of the FullyAssed Committe" (emaxxbl)
08/28/2017 at 21:01, STARS: 0

rip lunchbox

"Chariotoflove" (chariotoflove)
08/28/2017 at 21:21, STARS: 0

That gerbil has earned his retirement.

"Stapleface" (patrickgruden)
08/28/2017 at 21:26, STARS: 2

All things considered, that’s not that bad. My 88 S10 did a 16.8, and that thing had the 4.3 in it that produced way more HP than the Lunchbox. I wish I would have kept that 17.6 1/4 mile slip for the lolz.

"RPM esq." (rpm3)
08/28/2017 at 21:34, STARS: 0

What do I win?

http://oppositelock.kinja.com/1796765160

"Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo" (thetomselleck)
08/28/2017 at 21:36, STARS: 1

I owe you one beer.

"unclevanos (Ovaltine Jenkins)" (unclevanos)
08/28/2017 at 21:36, STARS: 2

12 seconds for my 4 cyl yj I think. Also this clip is a YouTube masterpiece. 9/10 only gripe is lack of crustacean claws.

"Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo" (thetomselleck)
08/28/2017 at 21:44, STARS: 2

Shitty audio shitty shot landscape instead of portrait...

A R T

R

T

"unclevanos (Ovaltine Jenkins)" (unclevanos)
08/28/2017 at 21:53, STARS: 1

It could be worse. We could be using 56k internet.
A O L
O
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"HammerheadFistpunch" (hammerheadfistpunch)
08/28/2017 at 22:19, STARS: 0

That’s not too bad. I’m 15 even at my elevation, maybe 13 at Sea level

"Highlander-Datsuns are Forever" (jamesbowland)
08/28/2017 at 22:27, STARS: 1

I know what your elbow looks like. Now I can spot you in a crowd. 17 seconds is better than I expected. I don’t know if I’ve ever been over 60 in a 4wd tercel.

"fintail" (fintail)
08/28/2017 at 22:47, STARS: 0

Not bad given the condition of the car. Probably wasn’t much faster when new.

The Tempo my mom had back in the day probably wasn’t much faster. The fintail will pull it in 11-12 though, I think...hot rod.

"Svart Smart, traded in his Smart" (svartsmart)
08/28/2017 at 23:30, STARS: 1

The first car I ever drove was my mother’s 1995 E300 diesel. Naught to sixty in 12.something on a good day. This takes the cake.