Anger and Sadness Stew

by "ImmoralMinority" (araimondo)
Published 08/24/2017 at 21:14

No Tags
STARS: 3

MX63 Cressida buffer image. I want yellow lights.

There is a lady who does light housekeeping for us, and drives our kids to things we can’t do because work. We have employed her for about 8 years. We usually pay her in cash, and I am sure she reports no income. As a labor lawyer, I should no better, but people do these things. We have gotten to know her, as well as her wife and family, as well.

I have discovered that she is completely ripping us off by padding her hours and mileage. I am mad and hurt, because I regularly over pay her and try to recognize her value. Her response was to rip me off.

I am very sad and should buy an old Japanese car as consolation. Wait...did I just do that?

Replies (8)

"E90M3" (e90m3)
08/24/2017 at 21:21, STARS: 7

I am very sad and should buy an old Japanese car as consolation. Wait...did I just do that?

No one said you only had to limit yourself to one old Japanese car per period of anger.

"Chariotoflove" (chariotoflove)
08/24/2017 at 21:29, STARS: 0

My parents did the same when we were growing up. A betrayal like that would be hard to stomach.

"Die-Trying" (die-trying)
08/24/2017 at 21:37, STARS: 1

"Wacko" (wacko--)
08/24/2017 at 21:58, STARS: 1

Padding her hours and mileage?

Is she rounding off ? And by how much

"Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo" (thetomselleck)
08/24/2017 at 22:16, STARS: 1

Wow, you paid someone full-time under the table? For the last eight years?....

"shop-teacher" (shop-teacher)
08/24/2017 at 22:22, STARS: 0

That is unfortunate :(

"DrJohannVegas" (drjohannvegas)
08/25/2017 at 01:50, STARS: 3

I can understand why the misrepresentation hurts, and why you’re upset, so this is by no means an attempt to tell you you shouldn’t be mad about that.

But... given that you already regularly overpay and “try to recognize her value”, had the hours and mileage she reported been more modest, and the rates she asked higher (thus getting you to the same general pay rate), would you still have employed her services? I guess I’m trying to say: were you paying for outcomes or paying for “effort”? The housekeeping got done, the kids got to things, etc.

She lied about how long it took, how far she drove, etc, which is something about which you should be mad. But from where I’m sitting, the idea that she “ripped you off” just says to me that you have a complicated way of valuing job labor. (Put differently: while you probably charge billable hours, there’s some expectation on the client’s end that certain tasks get done, right? I kinda feel the same way here.)

I totally dig the trust angle on this, though, and I hope you can resolve the matter satisfactorily. Here’s a Cosmo to help:

"CaptDale - is secretly British" (captdale)
08/25/2017 at 13:03, STARS: 1

That is rough. Being lied to and taken advantage of can really hurt. I am sorry you are feeling that way today.

Have some cars:

And the best