by "Honeybunchesofgoats" (honeybunche0fgoats)
Published 08/15/2017 at 22:01
by "Honeybunchesofgoats" (honeybunche0fgoats)
Published 08/15/2017 at 22:01
No Tags
STARS: 2
In college I dated a woman. It’s a long story and worthy of its own story. Anyway.
She thought she was sick. We were out shopping for art supplies and she said she needed water, so I volunteered to go get her some. I go out, find a store with water, bring it back.
She takes a sip. “It’s cold.”
“Yeah.”
“Why didn’t you get room temperature? I’m sick. ARE YOU TRYING TO KILL ME?”
“No?”
[Pours half of the bottle out and throws the rest away]
“You don’t care about me. You don’t care if I die. We’re breaking up.”
“No. Don’t go. Stay.”
I walk off.
I go to a headshop to celebrate and buy myself a Zippo lighter.
I go back and she’s packing and talking about how I don’t care about her. I give her the Zippo and say “I bought you this.”
She starts crying.
We broke up two years later. I found the lighter and kept it. It was mine to begin with. It’s my lucky lighter.
"K-Roll-PorscheTamer" (k-roll390)
08/15/2017 at 22:08, STARS: 14
This story and it’s structure does me a confuse.
"scoob" (scoobsti)
08/15/2017 at 22:09, STARS: 4
"Honeybunchesofgoats" (honeybunche0fgoats)
08/15/2017 at 22:10, STARS: 0
That’s what being in that relationship was like. The full story involves attempted suicide and me telling a cop I was going to “punch him in the fucking face.” It... it was not my best relationship.
"K-Roll-PorscheTamer" (k-roll390)
08/15/2017 at 22:12, STARS: 1
Can we get the fuller story then?
"Honeybunchesofgoats" (honeybunche0fgoats)
08/15/2017 at 22:18, STARS: 2
When I’m more sober. The abridged version is that she attempted to kill herself and in the course of looking for her, I called the police. The police officer who responded was slightly belligerent and was questioning me as if I was a suspect. When I heard from someone who found her, I ran off. Later, while waiting for the ambulance, he said he could arrest me. I told him I was going to “punch you in the fucking face, you mother fucker.” Then I told the university’s rep (this was in college), “if you don’t get this mother fucker away from me, I will see to it that you and this mother fucker lose your jobs. I’ve had a long night and I’m a spiteful cocksucker, so I will spend every cent to fuck you over.”
Good times. College was fun once I realized they were terrified of being sued.
"Berang" (berang)
08/15/2017 at 22:22, STARS: 1
dating
"DC3 LS, will be perpetually replacing cars until the end of time" (dc3ls-)
08/15/2017 at 22:24, STARS: 4
Now I have something else to add to my list of redflags to look for.
“Why didn’t you get room temperature? I’m sick. ARE YOU TRYING TO KILL ME?”
"Honeybunchesofgoats" (honeybunche0fgoats)
08/15/2017 at 22:25, STARS: 3
Seriously, where the fuck do you find room temperature water?
"Highlander-Datsuns are Forever" (jamesbowland)
08/15/2017 at 22:39, STARS: 3
I dated a girl from Wyoming once. End of story. You should try this, Wyoming produces very interesting people.
"Manwich - now Keto-Friendly" (manwich)
08/15/2017 at 22:41, STARS: 2
This is how it would play out with me:
“Why didn’t you get room temperature? I’m sick. ARE YOU TRYING TO KILL ME?”
Me: “if I wanted to kill you, I’d use something more effective that a bottle of goddamn water”
“We’re breaking up”
Me: “Okay” (walk away from her and to my car)
And I was in a relationship that was very much like that... where she had some batshit crazy logic and would use that batshit crazy logic as a “reason” to break up... 3 times. Of course 5 minutes after, i get a million and one calls and texts asking me to come back.
And I used this behaviour as a reason why I didn’t want to live with her... let alone anything beyond that
And by the third breakup, I was at the point I simply didn’t care if we stayed together.
The “emotional basket case” issues offset her awesome double-D tits and other things I liked about her.
"Manwich - now Keto-Friendly" (manwich)
08/15/2017 at 22:43, STARS: 0
Grocery store... either in the juice or pop isle.
"Manwich - now Keto-Friendly" (manwich)
08/15/2017 at 22:50, STARS: 0
I just had another idea relating to this:
“Why didn’t you get room temperature? I’m sick. ARE YOU TRYING TO KILL ME?”
Instead of responding to that idiocy, play this song instead:
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"Flynorcal: pilot, offshore sailor, car racer and panty thief" (flynorcal)
08/15/2017 at 22:55, STARS: 0
“I go back”
I found your mistake. Right there.
"themanwithsauce - has as many vehicles as job titles" (themanwithsauce)
08/15/2017 at 23:03, STARS: 0
You and I.....we may have dated from the same pool of crazy.
"Manwich - now Keto-Friendly" (manwich)
08/15/2017 at 23:15, STARS: 2
What’s wrong with girls from Wyoming?
"Highlander-Datsuns are Forever" (jamesbowland)
08/15/2017 at 23:52, STARS: 1
This pretty much sums it up. It was a fun and crazy ride.
"random001" (random001)
08/16/2017 at 06:41, STARS: 0
We need more drunk HBOG stories...
"Roundbadge" (Roundbadge)
08/16/2017 at 07:16, STARS: 1
I...I didn’t....know...that there were sober HBOG stories.
"random001" (random001)
08/16/2017 at 07:20, STARS: 1
I concede the point, good sir!
"Roundbadge" (Roundbadge)
08/16/2017 at 07:30, STARS: 0
I need to Oppo more at night. I miss the best stuff and feel like a nerd for commenting in the morning.
"random001" (random001)
08/16/2017 at 07:33, STARS: 1
Eh, it’s all good. I am usually up pretty early, so I have early oppo time. All oppo time is a good time to oppo.
"ateamfan42" (ateamfan42)
08/16/2017 at 09:46, STARS: 1
The “emotional basket case” issues offset her awesome double-D tits and other things I liked about her.
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"ateamfan42" (ateamfan42)
08/16/2017 at 09:49, STARS: 0
The bulk packages of bottle water are usually stored at room temperature in stores.
I think the bigger question is why someone would think cold water would harm them, or why they thought their partner could read their mind on water temperature preferences.
"CaptDale - is secretly British" (captdale)
08/16/2017 at 12:23, STARS: 0
huh.... thanks for sharing?
"Manwich - now Keto-Friendly" (manwich)
08/17/2017 at 19:47, STARS: 0
Yeah... she started out below the Hot/crazy line, but as the relationship went on, she deviated into the Danger Zone.
Lol
"ateamfan42" (ateamfan42)
08/18/2017 at 08:52, STARS: 1
Well, as mentioned on the video, a woman can disappear from one place on the chart, and reappear anywhere else. Sounds like you experience that :)