by "Mitsubishi Outlander EV" (the-second-best-selling-plug-in-electric-car-in-sweden)
Published 08/10/2017 at 16:00
by "Mitsubishi Outlander EV" (the-second-best-selling-plug-in-electric-car-in-sweden)
Published 08/10/2017 at 16:00
Tags: Journalism
; Mitsubishi
; Leak
STARS: 10
After the overwhelming praise of the upcoming Mitsubishi Eclipse Cross, my sources found more exciting news on the world’s most interesting car company. So grab your popcorn and don’t forget to race to the edge of your seat, because we are going to take a sneak peek at Mitsubishi’s ambitious future plans.
2018 :
The glorious Eclipse Cross will finally be put on sale after much anticipation. Mitsubishi are “well aware that the Eclipse name has a bad reputation because previous models were too interesting”. They hope to fix this by:
- Removing all traces of previous Eclipse generations from the public eye.
- Asking auto journalists to do comparison tests with kitchen appliances.
- Putting wheatgrass in the CVT transmission fluid.
It is worth noting that Mitsubishi currently holds a prestigious second place in Sweden’s plug-in electric car market, where being “too interesting” is regarded as “dangerous for public image” according to the company’s management.
The rest of the lineup is to be kept the same, no refreshes.
2019:
The Eclipse Cross is set to receive a sister model, the Starion Exciting Version. Equipped with a slightly less punchy 1.4 litre engine mated to a CVT transmission, it is certain to satisfy. To celebrate the launch, Mitsubishi are planning to “purge” previous Starions to restore their reputation as an “established commuting and transport company”.
The Outlander and Outlander Sport will get a mid-cycle update.
The rest of the lineup is to be kept the same, no refreshes.
2020:
More nameplates will be revived as the range-topping GTO (Generic Trendy Offroader) is scheduled for production, featuring a new luxurious ‘VR-2' trim. In response to the booming subcompact crossover market, the FTO (Fashionable Trendy Offroader) will also aim to reach the hearts and wallets of #millenials.
The rest of the lineup is to be kept the same, apart from the Lancer - which will be finally replaced with the Nissan-derived Tsuru taxicab, its design unchanged for over 25 years.
When asked about the decision to replace the Lancer with the Tsuru for 2020, Mitsubishi noted “
any
update would make the Lancer look less dated”.
20??:
The 6th generation Outlander Sport becomes the latest addition to Mitsubishi’s entirely crossover-based lineup: featuring the 4th generation Eclipse Cross, new Starion Inspiring Edition, 2nd generation GTO VR-2 and FTO CVT. Everyone will also be excited for the latest Tsuru-based crossover, the ‘Lancer EVolution’.
The plant producing the Montero may shut down after being forgotten about, and the Mirage is to be replaced with a new line of sewing machines.
As one last word of note, my sources claim that Mitsubishi Motors will use a new corporate slogan in the future:
The second-most-popular choice for plug-in electric vehicles in Sweden.
They’re not wrong.
~ Journalism by M. Outlander EV.
"EL_ULY" (uly)
08/10/2017 at 16:05, STARS: 1
2017 Nissan Tiida in Mexico
The new Nissan Versa is also for sale at dealerships. The previous Versa aka Tiida will be around for just as long as the Tsuru was
"Mitsubishi Outlander EV" (the-second-best-selling-plug-in-electric-car-in-sweden)
08/10/2017 at 16:06, STARS: 2
My sources confirmed the Tiida will replace the Tsuru-Lancer in a few decades.
"TheHondaBro" (wwaveform)
08/10/2017 at 16:07, STARS: 0
Username checks out.
"Mitsubishi Outlander EV" (the-second-best-selling-plug-in-electric-car-in-sweden)
08/10/2017 at 16:08, STARS: 1
My sources do not lie.
"Full of the sound of the Gran Fury, signifying nothing." (granfury)
08/10/2017 at 16:11, STARS: 0
Tiida? WTF! I read that as ‘~’...
"RT" (rt-p)
08/10/2017 at 16:13, STARS: 4
This is FP material.
"Maxima Speed" (maximaspeed)
08/10/2017 at 16:14, STARS: 0
And the award for “Journalistic Hyperbole” goes to...........Mr. Mitsubishi Outlander EV, for his excellent endeavors in mediocrity!
"Mitsubishi Outlander EV" (the-second-best-selling-plug-in-electric-car-in-sweden)
08/10/2017 at 16:16, STARS: 2
Endeavour? More like GTO VR-2.
"Textured Soy Protein" (texturedsoyprotein)
08/10/2017 at 16:20, STARS: 0
I’m willing to admit that when the Eclipse Cross was first announced with a 1.5 liter turbo motor and some variation of Mitsubishi’s S-AWC awd system, I was mildly intrigued.
It turns out though that the final result has under 170 hp mated to a CVT and the awd system isn’t really even as good as the one in the Outlander V6 which at least has a trick front eLSD.
I am no longer intrigued by the Eclipse Cross.
"Mitsubishi Outlander EV" (the-second-best-selling-plug-in-electric-car-in-sweden)
08/10/2017 at 16:23, STARS: 0
Mission accomplished.
"Probenja" (probenja)
08/10/2017 at 16:33, STARS: 1
Funnily enough Mitsubishi did manage to launch a new production car, it’s a minivan with tiny tiny wheels called the “Xpander”:
!!! UNKNOWN CONTENT TYPE !!!
"Stef Schrader" (stefschrader)
08/10/2017 at 18:57, STARS: 0
I hate everything.
(also, you shut your mouth—the Lulzcer is perfecr)
"Mitsubishi Outlander EV" (the-second-best-selling-plug-in-electric-car-in-sweden)
08/10/2017 at 19:19, STARS: 1
The Lulzcer is perfect, it just also happens to be dated, especially by 2020.
My sources are encouraging me to look at Volkswagen Porsche next.
"daender" (daender)
08/10/2017 at 20:30, STARS: 1
I just searched CL for a Starion/Conquest because of you.
