by "itschrome" (itschrome)
Published 06/30/2017 at 15:02
by "itschrome" (itschrome)
Published 06/30/2017 at 15:02
No Tags
STARS: 6
So after all the replies basically told me I was basically an idiot if I didnt do it I reached out to the misses. In less than 10 lines in an email I told her what the deal was. She replied with “lets go talk to a dealer this weekend if theres one in stock you like, get it.” Wait what? I did not expect that! Damn thats awesome!
Thats when I think the universe miss understood my desire for a challenger to mean I was looking for a challenge. I shit you not less than 5 min later I was fired. Over what? Basically some one who has no idea what we do complained i was taking too long to resolve a complex issue asked for the case to be reaaaigned and that I never handel their work again. Never mind i was on the case because all other techs had no idea how to resolve it or even start ro resolve it. They were also our 3rd largest client.. I hate my slef and my life soo much right now.
Its been a hard year for me. I was bought out from a job i started last year vecause they hired an engineer but wanted a helpdesk robot. I left a good stable job for that position. I went 5 months with out work before starting this job in February.
On top of that me and the fiancee have been having hard times in our relationship, we’ve been going to therapy and been doing really well. Love is hard but our love is worth fighting for, we just nees to learn to communicate and I nees to learn how to be a husband. My father was never really there for me and never showed me what it means to be a man. I dont mean in the sense that a real man does (insert stupid Manley thing here). I mean how to be a husband and a father and a good member of society. He’s a selfish, manipulative, lying peice of shit. My whole life he’s always found people to take advantage of, to use for his own gain. He lies about everything and never takes accountability. He also never worked. When tou hear republicans talk about dead beats that abuse the system, thats my father they are talking about.
Which leads me to how my year has sucked. In march he was arrested, first for child porn and later for.. look fill in the blanks i dont want too.. long story short he’s going away for a long time and its been really hard on the family that even still cared about him.
At this point I feel gutted. Im just soo emotionally burned out and lost feeling. I dont know who I am, who I wanted to be or how to get there. Im worried my life is only about to get worse and I can only hope my relationship can survive this. I’m genuinely am scared for my self and future.
I just wanted a awd 2 door barge.. i didnt want this kind of challenger..
"Krieger (@FSKrieger22)" (Krieger22)
06/30/2017 at 15:10, STARS: 2
Ouch. Hopefully things do get better for you.
That said, you’re willing to learn to be a better person. As someone who has had way more experience with narcissist-like types (which your father sounds like), this gets credited way less than it should. Obviously, it’s not everything, but I’m willing to go out on a leg and say that that is what separates the rest of humanity from them.
It is worth fighting for, keep up the good fight!
"WilliamsSW" (williamssw)
06/30/2017 at 15:11, STARS: 1
Damn! That sucks- you getting let go sounds like total bullshit, but you gotta pick yourself up and get back at it.
Frankly, it sounds like they didn’t really appreciate you anyways, so hopefully at the next job, they do!
"itschrome" (itschrome)
06/30/2017 at 15:15, STARS: 2
I feel like at this point things can only get better!
And yes I would agree, Narcissist is very much what my father is. Like a super grimy Narcissist.
And ti’s not soo much I need to be a beter person I just need to learn how to take on the rolls of husband, father and good citizen. I learned to be a man by trial and error, I think I did an ok job but the lack of exposure to a good father and husband I just don’t know how to do it or whats expected from me. I’ll get there and thank you!
"itschrome" (itschrome)
06/30/2017 at 15:16, STARS: 0
that’s what I am hoping too! thanks!
"Chariotoflove" (chariotoflove)
06/30/2017 at 15:17, STARS: 4
Remember the people who love you and make life worth it. It can get better. It will get better. You’ll find another opportunity for your skills, and when you’re old and sitting with your grandkids next to your wife, you’ll tell them about this time like it was a temporary hiccup on your journey.
"itschrome" (itschrome)
06/30/2017 at 15:19, STARS: 2
thanks man. That’s what I am hoping.
"Maxima Speed" (maximaspeed)
06/30/2017 at 15:21, STARS: 2
Whoa! Ummm, that sucks. I’m right there with you man. I just got fired Sunday. It’s sucks but you keep on full speed ahead. The next job will be better. Hang in there.
"nermal" (nermal)
06/30/2017 at 15:31, STARS: 2
Life is a series of ups and downs. Sometimes they come within 5 minutes of each other.
You mentioned wanting to become a better man and (future) husband. The thing is, a man that can’t overcome challenges and setbacks is a weenie. Use this as an opportunity to prove yourself to not only your fiancée, but also to yourself.
Approach getting fired as what it is, which is empowering. You’ll get through this in some manner, how well you end up is up to you. Once you’ve experienced getting fired, and coming out successful afterwards, you no longer fear getting fired. It will change the way you approach both work and your personal finances, both for the better.
Take the weekend off to get your affairs in order. Relax, accept that it is done and you can’t change it. Spend some time with your fiancée, and prove to her that you are indeed a strong man that she can rely on, even in the worst of times, and not a weenie that crumbles under pressure.
Then put your head down and commit to finding work. Fix your resume, contact your connections and let everybody know you are looking, and start firing off applications for anything you are remotely qualified for. Consider starting your own business as well, now is a perfect time for it.
"Bourbon&JellyBeans" (bourbonandjellybeans)
06/30/2017 at 15:36, STARS: 1
Sometimes, for reasons that I don’t understand, life loves to tease you with things. You think you’re getting a new Challenger? Life makes it look like it’s gonna happen and then
BLAM
life takes it away again.
This has happened to me twice recently. In February, I applied for a great job in DC. I applied and they wanted an interview right away. They had me come in, barely asked me anything at all, had me meet the higher-ups, and asked me for a goddamned start date. It was in the bag. Well, they got back to me the day after the interview and told me that, due to a bureaucratic technicality, I couldn’t have the position as quickly as they needed it filled and thus couldn’t hire me. I was preparing a letter of resignation when I got the email. That job could have been a real, well-paying career.
Then just this month. My fiancee and I are house-hunting. We currently rent an old house in a shitty part of town that’s only getting shittier. Well, we found what was basically the perfect house in our price range - beautiful house, freshly painted inside and out, huge back deck with a friggin’ hot tub, sweet master bedroom/bathroom, updated kitchen, couldn’t see any neighbors, a private boat slip - it checked all the boxes. We went into negotiations with them and gave them a great offer, and that’s when things fell apart. Their realtor started making excuses saying that the owners don’t have much equity in their home (they’ve lived there for 20 damned years) and how they really can’t take our offer. So they countered with what was basically the listing price and no closing help whatsoever - but at least they threw in their kitchen table to lessen the burn. So we countered that and they haven’t gotten back to us in four days so who knows. Our realtor says it doesn’t look likely. Houses like that just don’t pop up in the area we’re looking so if this one gets away it’s likely we won’t find another like it.
I guess I just wanted to rant with you. I don’t have much constructive shit to say. :(
"arl" (arl1968)
06/30/2017 at 15:37, STARS: 1
You and your wife love each other and are working to make the marriage better. That’s really all that matters right now.
Fire up that resume, update LinkedIn, and start calling recruiters. You’ll need to put the Challenger dream on hold, but it’s only temporary. And frankly, if they fired you for what you described - you deserve a better working environment anyway....
Hang in there! Challengers aren’t going anywhere!
"Sweet Trav" (thespunbearing)
06/30/2017 at 15:39, STARS: 1
My only concern is that Dodge charges $0.25 a mile if you go over your lease and only lets you lease a max of 15K miles a year. Don’t know if you drive a lot, but factor that into your decision.
"RallyDarkstrike - Fan of 2-cyl FIATs, Eastern Bloc & Kei cars" (rallydarkstrike)
06/30/2017 at 15:55, STARS: 1
Try and chin up friend...we’re here to help and provide random automotive musings when needed. Hope you find more work soon. Any chance you could get that stable old job back you mentioned...?
"xc90v8/I4 :(" (xc90v8)
06/30/2017 at 15:57, STARS: 1
I can’t really give you any advice about what it’s like being in your situation since i haven’t gone through anything similar. But I’m sure it’ll just make you a stronger person and you’ll learn how to deal with rough times.
My father never taught me to be a man or a good citizen or husband either. He wasn’t bad or anything and certainly trying. But he just couldn’t pass it on because he was always working and does have troubling with knowing how people feel, even his own children.
So I was always looking for other rolemodels out there and I certainly found them. Some were neighbours, an uncle, parents of friends an so on. I don’t know why, but so many people have aspects about them that I would like to see in myself and that kind of helps me. That’s no replacement for a father but it certainly helps me along a good bit.
"Rico" (ricorich)
06/30/2017 at 16:41, STARS: 1
Just looking for the silver lining here so bear with me:
Maybe the Universe just saved your ass. Let’s say that you weren’t fired today but instead a month from now. Then let’s say you went to the dealer this weekend as planned and committed to a lease.
Losing your job a month into committing to a lease for 24-36 months would have likely put tremendous financial strain on you and your wife. This would’ve added more stress to an already stressful situation (losing your job). Then compound that with existing issues that you two are trying to resolve and basically this all could have gone a lot worse.
"CaptDale - is secretly British" (captdale)
06/30/2017 at 17:59, STARS: 0
Wow, that is a lot of rough all at once. I know it can be hard to see the light at the end of the tunnel, but trust me it is there. There is always something better coming even if it is after waves of shit. You have a partner that loves you and was totally ok with you basically getting a giant toy and she will be again I am sure. I am also sure you’ll get back on your feet and be able to tell us all about the new job that let you and the misses take the new car on a road trip. So just remember to breath and keep on keeping on.
"Discerning" (discerning2003c5z)
06/30/2017 at 18:27, STARS: 1
Look at the bright side, there are a number of cars that are better than a challenger - including for less money.
You dodged a bullet as far as I’m concerned...
Lol