by "Katsumoto" (katsumoto)
Published 06/21/2017 at 09:12
by "Katsumoto" (katsumoto)
Published 06/21/2017 at 09:12
No Tags
STARS: 4
I have a friend who lost his place due to fire. Being nice, I let him stay with me til he got his insurance money to move into his own place again.
My neighbor behind me. I live on a corner, house is on one street, garage faces another. My neighbors house faces the same street my garage does. Anyway, hes one of those eco friendly people that does some composting and reuses what he can to throw out less trash.
He only makes like a bag a month if that. I told him throw it in my can instead of paying for the service and not using it.
My friend took the trash out and noticed my neighbors bag. I use white bags, neighbor I guess doesnt. He brings it up, i tell him and proceed to get a lecture about it. How the neighbor should pay and so on.
I told my friend, its not your bill, your house or your say at all. Which it isnt. Its my trash can and I can do whatever I want with it.
I eventually tell my friend, if your going to tell me how to run my house and its bills, you’ll need to find a new place til insurance pays out. He has ABSOLUTELY ZERO say in my bills. He offered to pay half of my bills while he was here and I said I didnt need it.
Yet, I get lectured on it. Really? I tried to be nice, give him a roof while he got back up on his feet. Then you tell me how to run my ship? Fuck you.
I told him to drop it or find a hotel. Cuz at this point, im tired of it. Him and his lectures. I guess being nice to someone who lost it all is over rated.
He used to be a nice guy. Fun to be around and drink with. Now its fatherly life advice on everything, my house, my business and my life. Mind you, none of which he has any to do with. Hes not on any of my shit.
I made it 30 years pretty well, dont need advice from anyone except the tax man during tax time.
Just saying, if someone offers you some help, dont try to tell them what to do when your getting their help.
He brings it up tonight, he will be sleeping in a hotel before the night ends. Period.
Sorry about my rant. My other friends that know him agree. That he just should, as I learned from the military, shut up and color.
Heres some exhauat ideas from Japan for your time.
And the best for last.
Stay weird Japan
"Honeybunchesofgoats" (honeybunche0fgoats)
06/21/2017 at 09:19, STARS: 1
I genuinely cannot conceive how he’s taking umbrage to something that doesn’t concern him and doesn’t cost you money. I will never understand the sort of mindset where someone would want to deny someone else some benefit when there’s nothing to be lost or gained.
"Katsumoto" (katsumoto)
06/21/2017 at 09:25, STARS: 4
Exactly. If I dont care, and its my trash , then no one else should.
My eco neighbor, is also the same guy that would get a call at 3am and come help you fix your broken car. He’ll do anything for anyone. He fixes alot of peoples cars for cheap. Pulled an engine and swapped it for a lady for 300 bucks because it was all she had.
He acts like my trash bill is paid per pound. Its like 50 every 3 months, and all i gotta do is put it within 3 feet of the street.
Trashman has some sweet machine that grabs the can, tips it into a dumpster on the front, then when the dumpster gets full, it gets dumped into the truck.
"404 - User No Longer Available" (toni-cipriani)
06/21/2017 at 09:26, STARS: 1
You kept using the word “friend”, but I failed to find said “friend” in your post.
I hope you disowned him already.
"RacingShark" (racingshark)
06/21/2017 at 09:28, STARS: 0
$50 a quater?! Damn, I pay more than twice that and they forget to pick up my recycling every week!
"Katsumoto" (katsumoto)
06/21/2017 at 09:29, STARS: 0
Hard to disown someone youve known since you since high school.
But hes making a case for it.
"CalzoneGolem" (calzonegolem)
06/21/2017 at 09:31, STARS: 0
He probably thinks he’s genuinely being helpful.
"Katsumoto" (katsumoto)
06/21/2017 at 09:31, STARS: 0
Its with WM. I only have the trash can, no recycling.
Plus my city set up a deal with them to prevent elderly from overpaying for trash.
"Wagonlife740" (wagonlife740)
06/21/2017 at 09:36, STARS: 0
It’ll be all back to normal again once he is gone. Seriously I used to live the awesome life with roommates, and I got a long with all of them better when they didn’t live with me. Before and after. (Wonder if I’ll get along with my girlfriend better if I kick her out lol)
"pip bip - choose Corrour" (hhgttg69)
06/21/2017 at 09:42, STARS: 0
that last one is a case of..............um, yeah.
"Katsumoto" (katsumoto)
06/21/2017 at 09:47, STARS: 0
I dont have room mates. My house, my bills on my own.
I let him stay to be nice. Now hes acting like he has a stake in any of my bills. All my shit is in my name, and my name alone. If i cant get it in my name I dont need it.
He acts like hes paying for it all. He hasnt given me a dime and I wont take his money. Tried to be nice, but it proves theres assholes everywhere.
"Katsumoto" (katsumoto)
06/21/2017 at 09:49, STARS: 0
Dont lie, you measured it on your screen and compared it to yours.
"jimz" (jimz)
06/21/2017 at 09:53, STARS: 0
out of all the people I went to high school with, I occasionally hear from one.
it’s not that hard.
"Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo" (thetomselleck)
06/21/2017 at 09:53, STARS: 2
I’ve had several friends crash with me over the last decade. Even my best friend... I kicked him out after two weeks because I was going to kill him
"jimz" (jimz)
06/21/2017 at 09:54, STARS: 0
some holier-than-thou jackasses feel they need to bestow their “wisdom” on everyone, and always have a high-minded lecture ready to go.
"pip bip - choose Corrour" (hhgttg69)
06/21/2017 at 09:54, STARS: 0
damn!
am i that predictable?
;)
"404 - User No Longer Available" (toni-cipriani)
06/21/2017 at 09:54, STARS: 0
I don’t know about you, but I personally find keeping my connections is actually harder than losing them. I practically lost contact to most of my high school friends. But then I’m also halfway across the globe.
Connections are easily lost if contact isn’t as regular as they used to be.
"Katsumoto" (katsumoto)
06/21/2017 at 10:00, STARS: 0
I live in the city as i did when i went to HS. Most of my current friends are from HS.
I joined the military, and came back home.
When i was in Japan, most of my current friends would email and say hi or we’d talk for a little bit.
I only have a few real friends and hes one. So go figure. How do you cut off a friendship thats 12-15 years long? I know his family and he knows mine.
"Katsumoto" (katsumoto)
06/21/2017 at 10:02, STARS: 0
This is just temporary and it was to help him.
But i dont know. My trash is my business. 1 bag a month isnt a big deal.
"Katsumoto" (katsumoto)
06/21/2017 at 10:03, STARS: 0
Lol i was just joking. Didnt know you actually did it.
"ESSSIX GmbH - Accountant/Wagon Thumper" (thedlo)
06/21/2017 at 10:06, STARS: 0
Does that neighbor do you favors? Like is there a benefit to you letting him do that? (the cost really is insignificant if it is that little he throws out)
Generally I would say that anything that brings neighbors together and little cost to anyone is always worth it. You never know what you may need from someone.
"Katsumoto" (katsumoto)
06/21/2017 at 10:06, STARS: 0
Yea but this is talking to each other ALOT since high school. Hang out and drink every now and then.
Hes helped me when i needed it. So its hard to cut off someone who’s been a brother to you.
"Katsumoto" (katsumoto)
06/21/2017 at 10:14, STARS: 3
He does every now and then. Just little stuff. If im out of town he’ll keep an extra eye on my place. Mows my grass if ive been outta town for too long. Makes sure my dog is ok.
If hes cutting his grass and my car is outside, he’ll make sure not to throw grass at it.
Its all small stuff really. The trash is one thing i can do for him. He used to just dump it in some random dumpster behind a shopping center.
I tow his cars around for free. If he breaks down and needs a tow, ill take care of it.
Just trying to be nice to the guy whos nice to everyone.
"ESSSIX GmbH - Accountant/Wagon Thumper" (thedlo)
06/21/2017 at 10:19, STARS: 0
Exactly; do unto other as you would have them do unto you.
Cheers
"Manwich - now Keto-Friendly" (manwich)
06/21/2017 at 10:19, STARS: 0
Ever hear the saying “No good deed goes unpunished”?
I recommend you read this:
https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/open-gently/201609/is-it-true-no-good-deed-goes-unpunished
"Katsumoto" (katsumoto)
06/21/2017 at 10:45, STARS: 0
Ive heard it. I just try to be nice. That way even if something happens, at least some people remembered I was nice.
I can be a dick, and i do get mad. Just depends on what youre doing to piss me off.
"Manwich - now Keto-Friendly" (manwich)
06/21/2017 at 10:52, STARS: 0
I completely understand.
I’ve learned that some people NEED to be treated like shit from time to time to stop them from taking liberties in one way or another.
I’m actually going through a situation right now with someone I’ve known for a long time. I told them to do something a while back so they wouldn’t fuck things up for themselves.
They didn’t.
And the shit hit the fan recently and came crying to me for help.
And I am helping them... but I’m taking the attitude “You’re going to do what I tell you to do. No more bullshit or you’re on your own”
"promoted by the color red" (whenindoubtflatout)
06/21/2017 at 11:14, STARS: 0
I gave my friend a wide berth when he started getting into the financial independence movement.
Every other conversation was about how I was going to die poor and alone because I bought a $200 TV or I didn’t put 99% of my money into a 401k according to some “guru” on the internet so I could retire at 40.
It’s like, if you’re going to have debt up to your eyeballs, multiple credit cards, and complain that your job can’t cover your spending, maybe you shouldn’t lecture people on their money?
"Katsumoto" (katsumoto)
06/21/2017 at 11:29, STARS: 0
My friend is complaining about trash. When he is a guest in my home.
He tries to lecture me on my finances when he wishes his looked like mine. Hes brought it up before, i tell him to be quiet and my finances are my business.
I own my home, business office, 5 ram 5500s, 2 new car carriers, and my debt consists of my Hellcat. Just wanted something on my credit.
Other than that, ive got a credit card but i only use it to put gas in my gas guzzler.
"TorqueToYield" (torquetoyield)
06/21/2017 at 11:53, STARS: 1
Always do a favor that costs you nothing.
Especially with neighbors.
Some people just have a stick up their ass about freeloading, and ‘paying your way’ and pull on them bootstraps, blah blah blah, I find those types are always the one’s who have been given the most for nothing and worked the least for whatever it’s worth.
"ateamfan42" (ateamfan42)
06/21/2017 at 12:13, STARS: 0
Your “friend” is complaining that you are doing a small favor for your neighbor that effectively costs you nothing. What precisely is wrong with that? Good neighbors help each other out all the time. If he can’t understand the value of doing your neighbor a favor, he might not be the kind of person you want as a friend.
Heck, my neighbors do things for me that directly cost them something. We had several huge snowstorms this winter. One neighbor snowblowed my driveway a handful of times and another used his loader to move my snow. That was wear and tear on their machines, use of their time, and consumption of their fuel. It didn’t go unappreciated. (One neighbor got free home brew and the other homemade cookies. It was the least we could do.)
And yes, I’m planning to get my own snow blower before next season ;)
"merged-5876237249235911857-hrw8uc" (merged-5876237249235911857-hrw8uc)
06/21/2017 at 12:15, STARS: 0
How can a guest in your home even think they have any place to make comments about how you live? I’m an opinionated person, but if I’m crashing at someone’s place, it’s all “what can I do to help out” and fuck all about whatever they are doing. Wow, just wow. It’s one thing if you were soliciting advice, then by all means, but until then, no need to butt in. Good on you for doing the right thing, but understandable if you kick this friend out the door, at least you helped them out as much as you already have. Better than nothing.
"Katsumoto" (katsumoto)
06/21/2017 at 12:24, STARS: 1
I guess he doesnt understand that. Its apart of homeownership. Have to be nice to the people around you, cuz it isnt like an apartment. Your neighbors will live there for a long while.
Hes used to apartment complexes and the “neighborly love” that happens there.
My neighbor mows my grass sometimes. Watches my house, my dog and everything else when im outta town.
"Katsumoto" (katsumoto)
06/21/2017 at 12:34, STARS: 1
He mentions it tonight and he has 10 mins to pack his shit and go.
Ive thought more and more about it. Hes stopped being a friend and trying to run my life. Ive done extremely well for myself.
Sure, i got a free house, and a business to take over. But the house is way way different than it used to be and i paid for the renovation. The business has grown past what it ever was. Took it from a one man show, to having multiple employees, trucks and a dedicated office.
Yet with all that, he tries to give me pointers like hes been where ive been.
"merged-5876237249235911857-hrw8uc" (merged-5876237249235911857-hrw8uc)
06/21/2017 at 15:05, STARS: 0
I wish you well in your dealings with your friend. Or sucks it comes to that, but at least you did a nice thing and helped a fellow person out for a time. That’s more than most would do. Some folks just don’t know their place, and a guest should be just that, a guest, not a pest. When the former becomes the latter, it’s time to go. Good luck.