by "ImmoralMinority" (araimondo)
Published 06/06/2017 at 02:15
by "ImmoralMinority" (araimondo)
Published 06/06/2017 at 02:15
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STARS: 6
I lived here for only a few years, but they were significant.
My first job after law school, I worked on elections in Bosnia, so my path to the bar was all fucked up. I left the day before I graduated, and was off the grid for 4 months. You could barely send mail across the country, much less to the US.
So I came back, took the Bar in LA, then moved to Oakland because friends had moved there, I had nothing better to do, and because they hooked me up with a cheap one bedroom in a dangerous ghetto that was too cheap to resist. My now-wife moved in pretty quick, and in 1998 we were making a home in that shitty neighborhood.
That neighborhood is now gentrified and expensive. What were liquor stores with drug dealers are now coffee shops and tea houses. But I have ghosts here.
I have written and shared here about my two amazing boys, but I have not talked about my first son, Franklin. You see, he was born dead; perfectly and fully formed, alive mere hours before, but born dead.
Usually, the umbilical cord is coiled tight like an old school phone cord, and cannot be kinked. Sometimes, for reasons that are not understood, the cord is straight like a garden hose, as it was for Franklin, and he cut off his own blood supply by tucking his chin. And he was gone. My youngest had the same issue, but with monitoring and early induction, he was born alive and well.
What is the difference? By the time my youngest was born, I had a better job, more money, and better insurance. When our first died, our healthcare was a public assistance program that no longer exists.
You might think of me as conservative because of what I do, but I had to watch my wife give birth to a dead child because I did not do enough, and because our health insurance was not good enough to be taken seriously. I worked on single payer for California the first time. We got crushed.
Coming back here makes me remember because he died here, but this place has a lot of memories of love as well. This was our first home together. It hurts, but it is also part of what binds us as a family
Sorry for getting serious on you, but I am 180 miles from the Sunchaser. Forgive me.
"BlueMazda2 - Blesses the rains down in Africa, Purveyor of BMW Individual Arctic Metallic, Merci Twingo" (bluemazda2)
06/06/2017 at 02:21, STARS: 0
I’m extremely sorry to hear about that. I can’t even imagine how you feel. If there’s anything I can say right now, is that you’re one hell of a fighter and one hell of a father. Keep on doing what you’re doing. We are all here for you. We are with you.
"gmctavish needs more space" (gmctavish)
06/06/2017 at 03:14, STARS: 0
Man, that’s heavy. A very similar thing almost happened to me. I was born with the cord wrapped around my neck, and I wasn’t breathing, apparently I was very lucky to be revived.
I’m sorry you had to go through that
"RallyWrench" (rndlitebmw)
06/06/2017 at 03:26, STARS: 1
Jeez, man, I’m sorry to hear that. My second had an umbilical scare and that was hard enough, can’t imagine what you both went through. Strong people.
"TheD0k_2many toys 2little time" (thed0ck)
06/06/2017 at 03:45, STARS: 0
My older brother came out with the cord wrapped around his neck and not breathing, they revived him but it was scary.
Im sorry to hear about that, and the memories associated with that place
"shop-teacher" (shop-teacher)
06/06/2017 at 04:49, STARS: 2
I simply cannot imagine the pain of having a stillborn child. Much like it is impossible to know the kind of love a parent feels for a child, until one has a child. The pain of losing one is unknowable to those of us who haven’t
It happens far too often, there’s even another Oppo who went through that a few years ago. For what it’s worth, it happens sometimes even with good insurance. That’s one benefit I have through my job, very good insurance. Despite that, a coworker of mine had a stillborn child last year. Sometimes there is no way to stop tragedy.
I’m sorry for your loss.
"RallyDarkstrike - Fan of 2-cyl FIATs, Eastern Bloc & Kei cars" (rallydarkstrike)
06/06/2017 at 05:20, STARS: 1
Sorry to hear friend...a terrible tragedy...we all have our ghosts in the closet somewhere :(
"random001" (random001)
06/06/2017 at 06:27, STARS: 1
A sad story to be sure. I have feels for you right now.
"R Saldana [|Oo|======|oO|] - BTC/ETH/LTC Prophet" (r-saldana)
06/06/2017 at 06:47, STARS: 1
Holy shit, truly nightmare fuel man. You don’t just have ghosts there, you have a freaking poltergeist. I’m really sorry about your firstborn.
"Manny05x" (Manny05x)
06/06/2017 at 07:40, STARS: 1
There is nothing better than knowing where you came from and making a better living for yourself and your family.
Sorry to hear about your son.
"Stapleface" (patrickgruden)
06/06/2017 at 08:35, STARS: 1
You know, looking at the smashed window, I wonder if thieves do that shit on purpose to inflict maximum damage. Those dumb quarter windows are almost always the most expensive ones to replace on a car.
"415s30 W123TSXWaggoIIIIIIo ( •_•))°)" (415s30)
06/06/2017 at 09:38, STARS: 0
I don’t even drive through the east bay when I have to go to san jose etc.. for work. NPR always has some cataclysm on 880. It’s only a few miles longer to go down 280 and it’s peaceful. My friend from the Marines went to Bolt?, Berkeley before USMC. I went to OCS with him.
"Censored" (chrisbrown2992)
06/06/2017 at 10:10, STARS: 0
As someone who has been through many misscarages in the infertility struggle, there is nothing harder as a husband to do than watch your wife go through this. We had 7, but never made it past 3 months, I can’t imagine the emotions at full term.
My story ends happy as well, as we have a beautiful adopted 5 year old girl. We have had her since minute 1 of her life. It was, is and will continue to be an amazing experience.
"WiscoProud" (wiscoproud)
06/06/2017 at 11:43, STARS: 0
That’s f’ing brutal. I’m so sorry for your loss. I can’t imagine what that would have been like. I’m glad you’re okay and have your family.
"wiffleballtony" (wiffleballtony)
06/06/2017 at 14:18, STARS: 1
So, Bosnia or Oakland, who wore it best? Also sorry about the kid, I know those feels.