by "JayZAyEighty thinks C4+3=C7" (jayzayeighty)
Published 06/03/2017 at 22:45
by "JayZAyEighty thinks C4+3=C7" (jayzayeighty)
Published 06/03/2017 at 22:45
No Tags
STARS: 1
Sorry for the off-topic after the jump.
I wasn’t really sure whether to post this as it seems too self-interested and uninteresting but I value the Oppopinion too much not to and had some shit to get out. If you want to ignore the nonsense in the middle, there’s a poor excuse for a summary at the end.
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I went through high school pretty anonymously, perhaps struggled with a bit more “baggage” than most, and generally failed to motivate myself enough to do very well for a sustained period of time. Still, I did fine and managed to get into the three schools I applied to (which amounted to about every appealing-but-realistic, in-state university for which I had not missed the deadline). I did not really have any extracurricular merits to speak of and felt fortunate and somewhat surprised to have such an opportunity, but I knew from the past several years of denial and futile attempts—since the time I lost interest and stopped performing beyond expectation—that I was jumping in the waters of further education with pockets full of lead. The depression and apathy that I blew off and was guilted by in the beginning were more difficult to overcome years later by the end, and it was long past being a vicious cycle. While I could carry on and get along with about anyone, I had formed no meaningful relationships (friends or more than that) and had as many non-social accomplishments to claim. Something needed to change in my attitude to get through college, let alone get through effectively.
I decided erroneously, judging by this posting, that I should chase a dream of travelling to Cuba to essentially improve my outlook and gain a reinvigorated perspective on life. Not to mention potential fodder for a stronger college application, of course. To simplify it at the risk of sounding idealistic, I was going to leave my problems at the doorstep. I reasoned this out in logical terms, but as justification more than scrutiny of the idea. I decided that I would work a joyless job for a bit more than four months and use that extra cash to briefly experience a different way of life. I started work, the vague September deadline went by, and I kept working to sustain that familiar routine. By the time I forced myself to move on from the unproductive monotony I had willingly entered, it was April.
I swore that I would get moving on things then and there, and I will spare you the details aside from the fact that one Cuban acquaintance who offered to let me travel with him in early July went MIA, but I am now up shit’s creek without a paddle in April... by which point I had initially planned on re-applying after having carried out my plans and returning with an improved outlook on life. To address my hope of having an improved perspective, I do think that part of me does value the chance to go to college and all that entails on a subconscious level. However, I look at the present reality and realize that I wasted an entire year now and inevitably more because I can go to college in spring at the earliest. And while I am fortunate to simply be able to do such a thing, that fact negates whatever positive outcome came of largely fruitless work and time.
If I can still do the trip, I will. But if I cannot help but write off this year, I just want to get back on the horse and move on with my life. That’s something that I could not honestly say before this all transpired, which perhaps shows an intangible benefit. I wanted to force myself to change more drastically, to come away feeling more encouraged or interested than I do now, to do what I had planned to do to the effect I had hoped it to have. While in a way, I think that kick in the ass might have worked, I do not know whether I can make it happen or even if I should from a practical standpoint. Maybe I should buy a plane ticket now and go for broke, or maybe I should accept the loss and hope that I can move on where I could not before. I guess that what I’m asking is what opponauts, of whom the vast majority are more rational than I am, would do.
Sorry, again, for the self-absorbed stream of consciousness.
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TL;DR- If you were unable to do a certain critical thing or feel a certain way, created a plan to help change that, set aside a dizzying amount of time for said plan, and completely slept through the deadline with little of the desired result, would you fall further behind your peers and out of practice to execute the plan or try to cut your losses without being convinced you have changed in a meaningful way?
Also, has anyone started college a year or two late or in the Spring? If so, I would really appreciate a recollection of your experience. Thanks in advance to anyone who made it this far.
"jkm7680" (jkm7680)
06/03/2017 at 22:53, STARS: 1
Gap years are in style nowadays, plenty of people are taking them. Especially if you’re planning on going out of state and starting over anyways.
"smobgirl" (smobgirl)
06/03/2017 at 22:56, STARS: 1
I didn’t start late, but I went for two years and then dropped out. After waiting tables with a bunch of morons for nine months, I started again during a summer semester. Thankfully my manager at the restaurant was cool enough to sign some paperwork to get me in-state tuition at the new school and let me continue working (until he got transferred out).
I think the time off gave me more respect and more motivation to just get an effing degree and a real job. Unfortunately I restarted at a school with no engineering program so my first two years were sort of a waste. Things mostly worked out and I don’t regret anything, but I might have done some things differently if I could see the future. Or maybe not - I think it might have changed the type of suffering, but I would’ve suffered all the same.
"interstate366, now In The Industry" (interstate366)
06/03/2017 at 23:00, STARS: 0
I took a year off. It was a good move.
"wafflesnfalafel" (wafflesnfalafel1)
06/03/2017 at 23:01, STARS: 0
Several of our millennials at work have gap years, (of course they were spent in Europe smoking weed on their folks’ dime....) I was a year late as well - had funding issues so I worked, interests changed, reality hit, etc. You do the best you can with what you have...
"JayZAyEighty thinks C4+3=C7" (jayzayeighty)
06/03/2017 at 23:06, STARS: 1
That’s very true. When put in those terms, the choice seems between trying for a successful gap two years or calling it at one botched gap year. It all seems incredibly silly writing all of this now, but I almost felt that this year was a drastic attempt to rekindle some interest in life going into it. To that end, I suppose it has been fruitful to a limited extent but perhaps only because the grass is greener on the other side.
I can only really afford to go in state, so perhaps that should have factored in to this decision. Maybe college will be a different enough environment anyways, but the mistakes I make there are not going to be free. Either option carries a risk, but I’m having a hard time calculating the more worthwhile of the two. I hate to realize how melodramatic I sound right now.
"jkm7680" (jkm7680)
06/03/2017 at 23:13, STARS: 0
That’s exactly what a gap year is great for. Getting in touch with yourself and adjusting to life outside of school. If you got anything at all out of it, then I’d call it a success.
Good luck man!
"Toby F., Manager" (itsmefromhr)
06/03/2017 at 23:18, STARS: 0
I’m a recent business grad (BSBA) that :
-had similar baggage
-considered dropping out my 3rd and partial of my 4th year
-genuinely felt at times that college was not for me
-took 5 years obtain my BS and changed my major 3 times (2 officially)
-it also was not until my 4th and 5th year that I really took school seriously and was able to find peace and focus
That said, anything is possible. Age also does not matter. My experiences (both at community college and university) led to the realization that I could no longer effectively estimate the ages of my peers. Many of whom were older (and few younger) than expected. Being 22, many appeared to be the same age in my classes (again, both at community and university); whereas in reality a good percentage were around 20 or nearing their mid to late 20's. I also shared classes and graduated (at community and university) with much older folk (30's, 40's, and 50's), and they too seemed to fit in for the most part, contributed well, brought experiences and perspective that others lacked, and about 10 or so have served as great personal inspirations and have turned to become great friends.
"InFierority Complex" (lanciere)
06/03/2017 at 23:18, STARS: 0
I worked for a year after high school before enrolling in college. I was definitely in the minority compared to those who just got out of school but it doesn’t really matter and nobody really cared. As it happens I had a bit of an existential crisis a few years in a joined the army for a couple years before getting back to school at 25 (I think?) in the spring of 2014. Again nobody really cared but it did make me feel old even if I was never the oldest in any of my classes either.
Basically people have a bunch of reasons for going back to school at different stages in their life. There’s no reason to feel anxiety over taking time to figure things out, work and saving up money, or whatever before jumping into higher education.
"Tristan" (casselts)
06/03/2017 at 23:19, STARS: 0
I was unchallenged and subsequently unmotivated in high school, dropped out, got a GED, didn’t know what to do with my life, tried to get a job and move out but my parents filled me into college... Went for 3 years undeclared, as well as also unmotivated... I hate school... Accrued $40k in loans, quit, joined the military, enjoyed 8 bad ass years working on AC-130 gunships, lived in a place I loved, found a line of work I loved, made life long friends, met my wife, saw the world, and wished the whole time that I would have joined at 18. I’m 33 now, working as an aircraft engine mechanic in Oregon, currently on a 3 week with trip to Las Vegas, about to graduate community college and starting at Oregon State in the fall.
If you want the adventure of a lifetime, join the military and get paid to do it. The experience transformed me from an unmotivated, stereotypical millennial into someone with a lot more drive and focus, I’ll never run out of stories to tell, and I have friends all over the world.
"JayZAyEighty thinks C4+3=C7" (jayzayeighty)
06/03/2017 at 23:23, STARS: 0
Thank you, this resonates with me. That your time off impacted your motivation to get a degree makes me feel less like I am telling myself what I want to hear. For the most part, the “suffering” was as anticipated but perhaps shifted my attitude in a way I could not will it to change. If only it didn’t take someone else’s recountal of just sucking it up for me to do so!
"JayZAyEighty thinks C4+3=C7" (jayzayeighty)
06/03/2017 at 23:33, STARS: 0
Hah, now that sounds like a plan. More than anything I feel wasteful had the past year been set aside without reason beyond teaching me a lesson about not wasting time. If I can get myself in gear and be successful in an academic setting after this, then I have no problem chalking it up to a necessary readjustment. I just would be in a world of hurt to start school and discover that I squandered it by returning with the same lazy, cynical apathy that needed to be shaken before making the investment.
"JayZAyEighty thinks C4+3=C7" (jayzayeighty)
06/03/2017 at 23:34, STARS: 0
If you don’t mind my asking, what did you do during that year?
"interstate366, now In The Industry" (interstate366)
06/03/2017 at 23:38, STARS: 0
Became much more self-reliant, basically. Got my driver’s license (at 19), learned some stuff around the house, and some other stuff I can’t remember right now. I also experimented with alcohol and marijuana.
"lone_liberal" (token-liberal)
06/03/2017 at 23:51, STARS: 0
Being born a poor, I had to do the military before college so there was a six year gap for me. No life altering plans, just six years of military bullshit so that I could have a shot at an education.
"JayZAyEighty thinks C4+3=C7" (jayzayeighty)
06/03/2017 at 23:57, STARS: 0
Thanks, I find this very reassuring. I could definitely see myself at the end of a circuitous path a few years down the road also, and it doesn’t seem like an inherently bad thing for someone like me. I would say that the existential crisis is a few years behind me and while it did not end with enlistment, it probably played into the crossroads I am at today. I guess that it’s just the state of malaise that has followed me since that point and until this one.
I have a bit of regret for not really living the past years in the fullest sense of the term, and perhaps see going back to school as a way to do so. In a way, I feel that it’s about damn time to take another swing at an enjoyable life in the traditional sense, but also wonder how I am better equipped to do so. Maybe it is not completely negative to challenge oneself to operate in different circles, age included. While it may be difficult to jump back into the curriculum, it is not as if I studied hard enough in school before that my knowledge from there would be of particularly great use in higher education. I will definitely try to take your advice and hurrying so much to figure things out.
"JayZAyEighty thinks C4+3=C7" (jayzayeighty)
06/04/2017 at 00:07, STARS: 1
This makes me feel a lot less anxious. I am far from the most decisive, determined, together person and it sometimes seemed as if almost everyone else I knew was a whole lot closer to it. Good to know that many end up in the same boat and that it doesn’t take away from their experience. Sweating a year or even two seems very trivial. Thank you.
"Maxima Speed" (maximaspeed)
06/04/2017 at 00:08, STARS: 1
Funny you should say that. Tomorrow I am returning to college after a 4-5 year hiatus. I have changed majors but all my classes will carry over. I had started college out of high school and did very well the first two quarters, Mostly A’s with some B’s (this was before the school switched to semesters). Then I started making friends and taking advantage of my new found freedom, along with deluding my self into thinking I was to good to have to study. Basically I did good in high school because my parents drove me to succeed, in college nobody made me do anything. My grades dropped and with it financial aid. I went an got a job thinking I could do fine in the work place. I did okay, worked at a pizza place, quit to work at a large grocery chain, quit. Next I went to a home improvement store, everything was great, fast tracking from part timer all the way to Salesman in no time all the while, working to move up even more. Recent changes in the company have now made it clear that long term “careers” in the company are not a reasonable proposition, I’m also tired of retail. So I dropped down to 20 hours and $2.00 less pay so that I can go to college and pursue a stable job. I feel confident that I’ve grown up enough to do it right this time around. I’m also paying out of pocket from my saving, which is an extra incentive.
"smobgirl" (smobgirl)
06/04/2017 at 00:12, STARS: 0
Part of my suffering was because leaving my parents’ school of choice left me completely financially independent, but without any way of getting FAFSA-based financial aid. I don’t recommend going that route! I thankfully ended up with some roommates in a similar situation (older, working, relaxed but responsible) and we helped each other out. I struggled for money until I was done but I wasn’t really lacking any experiences (in my opinion - I didn’t have money for international travel but I had plenty of adventures by car). I also learned that I am damn stubborn and if I want something bad enough, I will get it.
"JayZAyEighty thinks C4+3=C7" (jayzayeighty)
06/04/2017 at 00:14, STARS: 0
Man, that is a compelling argument to join the military. The beginning of your story sounds very close to where I was. I’ve actually heard the idea from two other people and while I had not seriously considered it in all my life, there is certainly a point to be made for it. It sounds like you went in at a place I am nervous about being in a few years down the road and gave you the tools to better your position. I am not sure if enlisting is a great fit for me but I won’t write it off and it does sound like quite a few people enjoy their time afterwards. Thanks for the idea.
"JayZAyEighty thinks C4+3=C7" (jayzayeighty)
06/04/2017 at 00:19, STARS: 0
That makes me feel better about it then. In a way I accrued some understanding that might be useful in the coming years not doing what I did the last one. Thank you!
"Slant6" (slant-6)
06/04/2017 at 00:24, STARS: 0
Now I can’t speak from my own experience, but I was an RA last year and had a few residents in your situation, starting school after a year off, and a few starting 4 years out of highschool.
Basically my one year out residents did just fine and as a whole seemed more collected and successful than my just out of highschool freshmen. The 1 years seemed more focused, all of them are sticking with their major and were able to get good grades without burning out too much.
Despite my best efforts as an RA my 2 guys that waited 4 years (one military, one worked on his dad’s farm) both dropped out at the end of first semester. They just had a hard time getting back into an academic mindset.
Now my data isn’t entirely sound, many variables could have done many different things, and everyone is different. But from what I understand it’s always harder to do well in school the longer you wait. So if you’re going to do this, now is the time. You actually might be better off with your year off, I think after 12 years of grade school people can use a break to relax and grow up a little.
Hope I helped some. As an RA for mixed academic backgrounds, I got special training for situation like yours (my building was campus overflow so I had new freshmen, transfers, and returners). I’m happy to answer any questions you might have about the transition into campus life (I’m actually working on the university literature for this program as my summer job).
"JayZAyEighty thinks C4+3=C7" (jayzayeighty)
06/04/2017 at 00:31, STARS: 1
If I were to take the negative spin away from this, I guess that I could characterize the past year as one of building self-reliance. Perhaps not a bad thing after all. Thanks.
"I have another burner, try to guess it!" (ihaveanotherburner)
06/04/2017 at 00:37, STARS: 1
Tbh like 90% of the ppl not military are like Tristan and me, it’s not like they’ve figured out how to breed supersoliders yet. Most of them are just any rando of the street.
I enjoyed it as did Tristan. The military is very peaky, when it sucks it SUCKS but when it’s awesome, it’s stories to tell your grand kids awesome. I’d highly recommend it overall. Just pick a branch and job (except Marines, too lazy to type on phone, but I’ll explain why not if you want.) Don’t stress too much about the specifics of the job you choose, because most likely the recruiter doesn’t know anymore about it than you. It’s part of the experience really.
As for starting school late: I would still do it. I went back to school in the spring 4 years after HS. The key is to start at community college. It’s waaay cheaper, you can build your GPA and transfer to a 4 year school instead of applying, plus it’s more “low key” I guess, which makes readjusting to school quite a bit easier.
PS another benefit of CC is that many of the other students there will be older too, not straight out of HS. At mine, probably half the students were 20 in the fresh/soph classes.
"Tristan" (casselts)
06/04/2017 at 02:40, STARS: 0
Never did I ever think I would join right up until I did it. I was starting another year of college with no direction, sickened at the thought of taking out another loan to do something I didn’t want to do and wasn’t doing me any good, and it seemed like a hell of an adventure. I intended to do 4 years and get out. My wife talked me out of doing 20. Now that I have a little baby at home, I’m glad I’m there with her, though. Like I Have Another Burner said below- when it sucks, the suck is real (36 hours of work straight while in Spain, weekend duty, being stuck on graveyard shift), but when you’re sitting on top of a gunship watching Air Force One taxi by or touring Crete with your closest friends on your day off, or jamming throttles for 16,000 horsepower of turboprop engines on a maintenance run, it’s pretty sweet.
"ADabOfOppo; Gone Plaid (Instructables Can Be Confusable)" (adabofoppo)
06/04/2017 at 07:53, STARS: 0
I excelled at school; not in a “look at me bragging about how smrt I am” way, I was just really good at taking tests and did not have much challenge in HS. (I’m also not really all that smart.) And I hated HS. I have very few friends from then that I still talk to. I generally just wanted it all to be over with as soon as possible.
Had no idea what I wanted to do afterward. Got into my local small-town college. My mom started work full-time shortly after I signed on. So I was incredibly fortunate to get a free 4-year degree. I had the crazy idea that I wanted to work in a car museum, as History came easy so that’s what I majored in.
Now I have a BA in History and zero use for it. I teach people how to use the tech in their new/new-to-them Japanese Luxury Vehicle; so I’m putting my degree to good use. Not.
I have been incredibly fortunate not to have had to take on huge student loans that I’d only have recently paid off; I grad-giated college over 10 years ago.
Here’s the advice: Don’t go back to school unless you know you need that degree to further a career goal.
College is expensive unless you get them to give you money. Your gap year has clearly served you well; but it has also reduced how willing they might be to give you financial help. (Probably. I could be wrong as I don’t work in college admissions)
Instead I’d find a job you enjoy and go to trade school if you need more experience or training.
Don’t take on debt unless it is required to help make you more money. So basically housing and a car payment. Nothing else is worth borrowing money over.
"TheRealBicycleBuck" (therealbicyclebuck)
06/04/2017 at 07:56, STARS: 0
I took a year off in the middle of my college adventure. I took another couple of years off between my bachelors and masters degrees. That time was essential for personal growth and to affirm my direction in life.
When I started teaching, the best students were the ones who took some time off or were returning to school later in life. They were the ones with their priorities straight and were there to learn.
"JayZAyEighty thinks C4+3=C7" (jayzayeighty)
06/04/2017 at 15:18, STARS: 0
That’s good to know. Maybe another six months or even a year won’t be such a problem if I can make good use of that time. Thanks.
"JayZAyEighty thinks C4+3=C7" (jayzayeighty)
06/04/2017 at 15:29, STARS: 0
Awesome, good luck with starting again. I hope that I’ve changed over the time away as well. Thanks.
"JayZAyEighty thinks C4+3=C7" (jayzayeighty)
06/04/2017 at 16:31, STARS: 0
I’m very much on the same page as you and looking at college purely as an investment with all else aside sounds sensible. I do not know specifically what I want to do, which would perhaps be one upside of college (albeit an expensive one). Still, it is worth considering a career path before deciding on a four-year university. Thank you.
"JayZAyEighty thinks C4+3=C7" (jayzayeighty)
06/04/2017 at 16:36, STARS: 1
This is very informative. While I don’t feel so bad about taking a break in between, you have given me more incentive to return as soon as I can. You helped a lot, thanks!
"JayZAyEighty thinks C4+3=C7" (jayzayeighty)
06/04/2017 at 16:41, STARS: 0
I’m not rich, relatively speaking, but I am fortunate enough to be able to get through with manageable student loans with the sub-$15,000 tuition schools (after scholarships) I am looking at. Did time in the military change what you ended up doing?
"lone_liberal" (token-liberal)
06/05/2017 at 20:15, STARS: 0
I didn’t mean to sound like I was criticizing you, it was more about me whining about my circumstances. I really don’t know if it would have changed much. Even though I did well in high school, the school itself was poorly equipped and taught so I would have been way behind in math and science but who know if starting college as an 18 year old (actually 17 because of when my birthday is) would have been better or worse than starting it as a 25 year old. It surely would have been very different.
"JayZAyEighty thinks C4+3=C7" (jayzayeighty)
06/05/2017 at 21:19, STARS: 0
Not at all, I am the only one who seems to be whining here! I am more just glad to know that the return to academic life isn’t too arduous. I didn’t go to the greatest school but it was at least significant enough to be equipped with more advanced classes. In a way I would like to see if I can correct my past mistakes and actually have a good time in college, but your peers probably seemed like kids going in at 25. Did you choose a career based on your time in the military at all?
"JayZAyEighty thinks C4+3=C7" (jayzayeighty)
06/05/2017 at 21:26, STARS: 0
Thanks for the tips. I strongly considered starting off in CC a while back, and that is certainly a good option. The regional community college system around here is pretty good and allows you to transfer to some pretty damned good schools. As for the military, it certainly appeals to me more now than ever. While I’ve always had a great respect for military service, I never glorified the idea of it so much. It’s definitely on the table, as is CC for easing back into things without the financial burden. I’d love to have some awesome experiences without necessarily needing to budget and plan for them myself.
"JayZAyEighty thinks C4+3=C7" (jayzayeighty)
06/05/2017 at 21:32, STARS: 0
I certainly won’t rule it out. Congrats on the baby, it sounds like you had some really cool times! I hope OSU will yield some as well.
"JayZAyEighty thinks C4+3=C7" (jayzayeighty)
06/05/2017 at 21:37, STARS: 0
Ah, I see. That is not an easy situation at all. I am glad it worked out; probably not many people would have made the best of things, but it sounds like good roommates can help. Was your new school was in another state? I’d better start applying for FAFSA... again.
"Tristan" (casselts)
06/05/2017 at 22:00, STARS: 0
Thanks! Whatever you decide, put 110% into it and you’ll get just as much out of it.