by "RamblinRover Luxury-Yacht" (ramblininexile)
Published 06/01/2017 at 10:16
by "RamblinRover Luxury-Yacht" (ramblininexile)
Published 06/01/2017 at 10:16
Tags: literary shitposting
; also ordinary shitposting
; shitposting
STARS: 2
“Just the place for a Snark!” the Bellman cried,
As he landed his crew with care;
Supporting each man on the top of the tide
By a finger entwined in his hair.
“Just the place for a Snark! I have said it twice:
That alone should encourage the crew.
Just the place for a Snark! I have said it thrice:
What i tell you three times is true.”
The crew was complete: it included a Boots—
A maker of Bonnets and Hoods—
A Barrister, brought to arrange their disputes—
And a Broker, to value their goods.
A Billiard-maker, whose skill was immense,
Might perhaps have won more than his share—
But a Banker, engaged at enormous expense,
Had the whole of their cash in his care.
There was also a Beaver, that paced on the deck,
Or would sit making lace in the bow:
And had often (the Bellman said) saved them from wreck,
Though none of the sailors knew how.
There was one who was famed for the number of things
He forgot when he entered the ship:
His umbrella, his watch, all his jewels and rings,
And the clothes he had bought for the trip.
He had forty-two boxes, all carefully packed,
With his name painted clearly on each:
But, since he omitted to mention the fact,
They were all left behind on the beach.
The loss of his clothes hardly mattered, because
He had seven coats on when he came,
With three pairs of boots—but the worst of it was,
He had wholly forgotten his name.
He would answer to “Hi!” or to any loud cry,
Such as “Fry me!” or “Fritter my wig!”
To “What-you-may-call-um!” or “What-was-his-name!”
But especially “Thing-um-a-jig!”
While, for those who preferred a more forcible word,
He had different names from these:
His intimate friends called him “Candle-ends,”
And his enemies “Toasted-cheese.”
“His form in ungainly—his intellect small—”
(So the Bellman would often remark)
“But his courage is perfect! And that, after all,
Is the thing that one needs with a Snark.”
He would joke with hyenas, returning their stare
With an impudent wag of the head:
And he once went a walk, paw-in-paw, with a bear,
“Just to keep up its spirits,” he said.
He came as a Baker: but owned, when too late—
And it drove the poor Bellman half-mad—
He could only bake Bridecake—for which, I may state,
No materials were to be had.
The last of the crew needs especial remark,
Though he looked an incredible dunce:
He had just one idea—but, that one being “Snark,”
The good Bellman engaged him at once.
He came as a Butcher: but gravely declared,
When the ship had been sailing a week,
He could only kill Beavers. The Bellman looked scared,
And was almost too frightened to speak:
But at length he explained, in a tremulous tone,
There was only one Beaver on board;
And that was a tame one he had of his own,
Whose death would be deeply deplored.
The Beaver, who happened to hear the remark,
Protested, with tears in its eyes,
That not even the rapture of hunting the Snark
Could atone for that dismal surprise!
It strongly advised that the Butcher should be
Conveyed in a separate ship:
But the Bellman declared that would never agree
With the plans he had made for the trip:
Navigation was always a difficult art,
Though with only one ship and one bell:
And he feared he must really decline, for his part,
Undertaking another as well.
The Beaver’s best course was, no doubt, to procure
A second-hand dagger-proof coat—
So the Baker advised it— and next, to insure
Its life in some Office of note:
This the Banker suggested, and offered for hire
(On moderate terms), or for sale,
Two excellent Policies, one Against Fire,
And one Against Damage From Hail.
Yet still, ever after that sorrowful day,
Whenever the Butcher was by,
The Beaver kept looking the opposite way,
And appeared unaccountably shy.
"Jcarr" (jcarr)
06/01/2017 at 10:18, STARS: 1
!!! UNKNOWN CONTENT TYPE !!!
"Smallbear wants a modern Syclone, local Maple Leafs spammer" (smallbear94)
06/01/2017 at 10:19, STARS: 0
I don’t know what that is so I’m just going to drop this here and hope for the best
"RamblinRover Luxury-Yacht" (ramblininexile)
06/01/2017 at 10:21, STARS: 0
"Smallbear wants a modern Syclone, local Maple Leafs spammer" (smallbear94)
06/01/2017 at 10:26, STARS: 0
"itschrome" (itschrome)
06/01/2017 at 10:51, STARS: 1
that’s all fine and dandy but be ware the boojum!!
"TheBloody, Oppositelock lives on in our shitposts." (thebloody)
06/01/2017 at 10:51, STARS: 0
"RamblinRover Luxury-Yacht" (ramblininexile)
06/01/2017 at 10:56, STARS: 0
Not going to be charmed with smiles and soap, I take it.
"RamblinRover Luxury-Yacht" (ramblininexile)
06/01/2017 at 10:57, STARS: 0
It is this, it is this that oppresses my soul, When I think of my uncle’s last words: And my heart is like nothing so much as a bowl Brimming over with quivering curds!
"TheBloody, Oppositelock lives on in our shitposts." (thebloody)
06/01/2017 at 10:59, STARS: 0
Not if it’s coming from every Tom, Dick and Harry...
"RamblinRover Luxury-Yacht" (ramblininexile)
06/01/2017 at 11:01, STARS: 0
How are you on railway shares? Threatened by them?
"itschrome" (itschrome)
06/01/2017 at 11:05, STARS: 1
Contrariwise, if it was so, it might be; and if it were so, it would be; but as it isn’t, it ain’t. That’s logic.
"itschrome" (itschrome)
06/01/2017 at 11:05, STARS: 1
why are we doing lewis carroll quotes again?
"RamblinRover Luxury-Yacht" (ramblininexile)
06/01/2017 at 11:09, STARS: 0
I was bored. Do we need another reason?
"itschrome" (itschrome)
06/01/2017 at 11:11, STARS: 0
nope! I love nonsense and nonsense he did well!
"RamblinRover Luxury-Yacht" (ramblininexile)
06/01/2017 at 11:16, STARS: 0
I’ll admit to some “geeking the squares” with the Hunting of the Snark pull as well. Fewer people are familiar with it, and it’s exquisitely insane.
"TheBloody, Oppositelock lives on in our shitposts." (thebloody)
06/01/2017 at 11:18, STARS: 0
I find them unsuitable to be Frank.
"RamblinRover Luxury-Yacht" (ramblininexile)
06/01/2017 at 11:24, STARS: 0
To be Frank... I’d have to change my name.
"TheBloody, Oppositelock lives on in our shitposts." (thebloody)
06/01/2017 at 11:28, STARS: 0
Surely, you can’t be serious?
"itschrome" (itschrome)
06/01/2017 at 11:30, STARS: 0
word, loving doing that. sorry I ruined it.
"RamblinRover Luxury-Yacht" (ramblininexile)
06/01/2017 at 11:32, STARS: 0
I like the introduction to Hunting of the Snark almost as much as the thing itself. It’s a whole little blather about nonsense words being okay if they’re a combination of two words...
“...
For instance, take the two words “fuming” and “furious.” Make up your mind that you will say both words, but leave it unsettled which you will first. Now open your mouth and speak. If your thoughts incline ever so little towards “fuming,” you will say “fuming-furious;” if they turn, by even a hair’s breadth, towards “furious,” you will say “furious-fuming;” but if you have the rarest of gifts, a perfectly balanced mind, you will say “frumious.””
And also an “explanation” about what he meant by “and the bowsprit got mixed with the rudder sometimes” which makes things even more confusing.