An Unusual Habit That I'm Not Ashamed Of

by "PatBateman" (PatBateman)
Published 05/02/2017 at 08:06

Tags: No Ragrets
STARS: 2

Every morning, I make a large cup of strong coffee with my Keurig. And every morning, I add five ice cubes and a splash of sugar-free hazelnut creamer to my coffee so I can chug it immediately, because I drink coffee for caffeine. And I want that caffeine NOW.

Why sip on coffee when you can hurry the hell up and wake up instead?

Replies (42)

"BlueMazda2 - Blesses the rains down in Africa, Purveyor of BMW Individual Arctic Metallic, Merci Twingo" (bluemazda2)
05/02/2017 at 08:12, STARS: 0

I don’t chug it, but I do drink it at once after I let it cool down to a kinda warm temperature. I drink it straight up black.

The caffeine does nothing for me at this point. I can drink a venti black iced coffee from Starbucks and fall asleep within half an hour.

"DipodomysDeserti" (dipodomysdeserti)
05/02/2017 at 08:13, STARS: 3

Strong coffee and Keurig are two mutually exclusive concepts. If I had a Keurig I’d probably try to dilute its taste and drink it as fast a as possible as well.

"Tripper" (tripe46)
05/02/2017 at 08:13, STARS: 1

I make a double espresso, and get in the shower. When I get out it’s the perfect temperature to whack down like an actual shot. Then I’m out!

"pip bip - choose Corrour" (hhgttg69)
05/02/2017 at 08:14, STARS: 0

i get to work then make a mug of instant (Nescafe Blend43)

works for me.

"PatBateman" (PatBateman)
05/02/2017 at 08:15, STARS: 1

Try drinking half a bottle of RedLine and see if that still holds true.

WARNING: Only conduct this experiment if you have nothing to do the next day. If the caffeine affects you, you might not sleep for another 12 hours.

"PatBateman" (PatBateman)
05/02/2017 at 08:16, STARS: 0

The coffee tastes fine, but my wife buys the strongest coffee that she can find. I’m used to it at this point.

I would like a nice cappuccino maker, though.

"PatBateman" (PatBateman)
05/02/2017 at 08:20, STARS: 2

ONLY a double? Occasionally, my office will have a wholesaler come in and set up a barista in our large conference room. It’s always fun to tell the guy to fill up my 20 oz Yeti with espresso.

Those are very efficient days, let me tell you.

"PatBateman" (PatBateman)
05/02/2017 at 08:21, STARS: 1

However you do caffeine is good.

"Party-vi" (party-vi)
05/02/2017 at 08:22, STARS: 2

blerf. Take caffeine pills instead.

"Smallbear wants a modern Syclone, local Maple Leafs spammer" (smallbear94)
05/02/2017 at 08:22, STARS: 1

I’ve been toying with the idea of getting some of this and turning it into ice coffee.

https://www.caffeineinformer.com/caffeine-content/death-wish-coffee

"PatBateman" (PatBateman)
05/02/2017 at 08:23, STARS: 1

Or cocaine. Even faster.

"Tekamul" (tekamulburner)
05/02/2017 at 08:24, STARS: 0

The only unusual thing is the creamer. Don’t they have a shit-ton of cows in Texas?

I usually drink the first cup at maximum rate, too. Caffeine is the only vitamin supplement I take.

"PatBateman" (PatBateman)
05/02/2017 at 08:24, STARS: 0

DO IT. Hell, I might do it.

"PatBateman" (PatBateman)
05/02/2017 at 08:28, STARS: 0

Funny you say that. I live in a new, very large subdivision that is still being built out. Up until recently, we had cows in the pasture behind our house. They moved the cattle off the land to build more houses. I miss hearing the moos at night.

I’m currently weening myself off the creamer. And it’s only a splash to get a little taste of hazelnut.

"Tripper" (tripe46)
05/02/2017 at 08:28, STARS: 1

Anymore is too much before I’ve had anything to eat haha. When I get to work, I’ll eat breakfast and have a couple more cups of coffee or another espresso. I’ve got to roll it back by late morning early afternoon or I start to tweak out a little.

"Rust and Dust - Oppositelock Forever" (rustanddust)
05/02/2017 at 08:28, STARS: 0

You may want to check out cold brewing. I’m fairly useless before getting coffee into me in the mornings, but I hate the idea of a warm cup of coffee when it’s already 80F at 7:15am, which should be happening in a few more weeks, unfortunately.

Also relevant:

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"TheBloody, Oppositelock lives on in our shitposts." (thebloody)
05/02/2017 at 08:30, STARS: 2

I do the opposite, I go to a little Italian market, order my Americano or Cappuccino (depending on what I’m in the mood for), put my phone in my pocket and just sit for 10-15 minutes enjoying it disconnected from the world and people watch.

"Smallbear wants a modern Syclone, local Maple Leafs spammer" (smallbear94)
05/02/2017 at 08:30, STARS: 1

I’ve been thinking about it for quite a while. But I tend to fight tooth and nail against spending money on Amazon. Or anywhere, if I’m honest.

It’s USUALLY a good thing.

"PatBateman" (PatBateman)
05/02/2017 at 08:30, STARS: 2

Try drinking iced green tea for the rest of the day (until about 4 pm). It keeps the caffeine in the blood without the “I AM CORNHOLIO I NEED T.P. FOR MY BUNGHOLE” effect.

"PatBateman" (PatBateman)
05/02/2017 at 08:31, STARS: 1

First cup of coffee goes to my stomach at maximum rate. The second cup goes into my Yeti with ice for sipping on while I drive to work.

"PatBateman" (PatBateman)
05/02/2017 at 08:32, STARS: 4

I mean, if I could do that, I totally would.

But kids.

"Tripper" (tripe46)
05/02/2017 at 08:33, STARS: 0

ooo I’m going to try that because you perfectly described how I feel after that 5th cup at 3pm.

"nermal" (nermal)
05/02/2017 at 08:40, STARS: 1

Keurigs are the debbil.

Heat water in a (stainless) kettle, fresh grind whole beans, and put in a french press. Total cost for all three parts is less than the cost of the machine, bean are wayyyyy cheaper and less wasteful, and it tastes a bazillion times better.

Plus you can consume much more caffeine that way.

"Tekamul" (tekamulburner)
05/02/2017 at 08:49, STARS: 0

You coulda milked those suckers yourself! There’s nothing like a splash of body-warmed, non-homogenized, non-pasteurized happiness to start your day.

Yes, I’ve had still warm milk from a cow. No, it’s not actually a good idea.

"Rico" (ricorich)
05/02/2017 at 09:08, STARS: 1

Nothing to be ashamed of! I doubt anyone here is some coffee sommelier lol

"Azrek" (azrek)
05/02/2017 at 09:09, STARS: 0

I’m super odd as well. I like my coffee to be room temperature. I want to just drink it like a normal drink...not sip it.

So I will pour a cup of coffee at my desk...and forget about it for like 30 minutes. Then I add some Irish Cream sugar and drink away.

Everyone looks at me funny and I just shrug.

"ttyymmnn" (ttyymmnn)
05/02/2017 at 09:10, STARS: 0

I’m a sipper, because I find that scalding coffee is a wake-me-up in itself. My grandfather would always pour the first bit of coffee into his saucer and sip it out of that because he wanted it served at 211 degrees.

"DipodomysDeserti" (dipodomysdeserti)
05/02/2017 at 09:12, STARS: 0

My wife has a cappuccino maker that she bought about ten years ago. I go through phases where I’ll buy the pods and have cappuccino in the morning. Otherwise I use my french press. I either make coffee syrup or a normal person brew depending on how I’m feeling.

"TheRealBicycleBuck" (therealbicyclebuck)
05/02/2017 at 09:26, STARS: 1

Similar start-up routine over here. I skip the Keurig for the STRONG coffee from the Bunn. If I were stuck with a Keurig, I would buy several of the pack-it-yourself pods and pack them to the brim. My uncle uses this technique to get the maximum punch out of his machine. I have to admit, the coffee out of his Keurig was better than any I’ve had from the machine at work.

"Rusty Vandura - www.tinyurl.com/keepoppo" (rustyvandura)
05/02/2017 at 09:53, STARS: 1

"user314" (user314)
05/02/2017 at 10:06, STARS: 1

"Nerd-Vol" (Nerd-Vol)
05/02/2017 at 10:32, STARS: 0

I’m okay with this!

"ttyymmnn" (ttyymmnn)
05/02/2017 at 10:34, STARS: 0

"Full of the sound of the Gran Fury, signifying nothing." (granfury)
05/02/2017 at 11:13, STARS: 0

Excedrin Migraine (or the generic Target alternative) is about the only thing that keeps me going some days.

As I write this I am sitting around, non-functional, waiting for the effects to kick in so I get my day underway...

"Rusty Vandura - www.tinyurl.com/keepoppo" (rustyvandura)
05/02/2017 at 11:28, STARS: 0

Really?? I’ve never seen that one. Where did you find it?

"Rusty Vandura - www.tinyurl.com/keepoppo" (rustyvandura)
05/02/2017 at 11:29, STARS: 0

I have the pictures from the coffee table drawer.

"Rusty Vandura - www.tinyurl.com/keepoppo" (rustyvandura)
05/02/2017 at 11:31, STARS: 0

I’ve taken to using Energy Shots for my caffeine. I mix half of one in 20 ounces of water and drink it down. Doesn’t taste the greatest , but I don’t get the bellyache that comes with coffee, though the creamer helps greatly.

"ZHP Sparky, the 5th" (e30s2k)
05/02/2017 at 11:44, STARS: 0

Tried AeroPress or a Bialetti Moka Express?

Aeropress makes a much smoother cup of coffee than a standard French press. And the Moka Express makes the most delicious, smoothest coffee syrup if that’s what you’re going after. Both super duper easy and quick clean up too. Results better if you hand grind your beans or have a good uniform electric grinder.

"ttyymmnn" (ttyymmnn)
05/02/2017 at 11:51, STARS: 0

I got it from you, probably 25 years ago.

"ttyymmnn" (ttyymmnn)
05/02/2017 at 11:51, STARS: 0

Scanned?

"Rusty Vandura - www.tinyurl.com/keepoppo" (rustyvandura)
05/02/2017 at 12:08, STARS: 1

Maybe so. I have no recollection.

"CaptDale - is secretly British" (captdale)
05/02/2017 at 14:19, STARS: 1

Kids suck!