by "Your boy, BJR" (jerseyshoreben)
Published 04/29/2017 at 17:52
by "Your boy, BJR" (jerseyshoreben)
Published 04/29/2017 at 17:52
No Tags
STARS: 5
Wooooowwwwwww what an insulting exploitive piece of shit. YEAH KIDS YOU TOO CAN GET REVENGE ON THOSE WHO WRONG YOU BY KILLING YOURSELF. And they want to make a season 2? Fuck that. Luckily, good ol’ Benjles here has a solution to fixing this.
Here it is: THIRTEEN REASONS WHY PART TWO: THIRTEEN REASONS DIE
Complete 180. It already is an exploitation show, but instead of trying to hide it, lets go balls to the wall. Lets embrace it. Stranger Things is the new Poltergeist/ET, so lets make season 2 the new Zombi 2/I Spit on your Grave. I’m talking ALL out. Brutal, yet stylized gore. A psychological thriller subplot. Lets get Tom Savini to do the effects, John Carpenter to do the soundtrack, Tobe Hooper to guest direct an episode. Gratuitous graphic eye injuries. Everyone on the tapes gets killed by ironic novelty deaths.
The plot?
Yeah. Lets open it up with the guidance councilor getting his throat torn out. They find his body in a very public place. Next up it goes down the list. The jock guy who spread the pic gets killed by a power drill to the brain via the eyeball. A video of it spreads around the school. What do the victims have in common? They both were on the tapes. People immediately suspect Clay of doing it for revenge. But that’s not the case, turns out Hanna’s back. This time as an unstoppable undead killing machine. He has to clear his name and stop her. There will be a chainsaw duel in the last episode, idk how we’ll get there, but we will. I’m also thinking a castration is in order. A Robert Englund cameo. An homage to The New York Ripper by way of face exploding off thanks to a well placed revolver shot. Either way, I’d watch the fuck outta that. And it would totally make up for the first season, and the fact that they’re considering a second season.
Unimog for your time.
"Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo" (thetomselleck)
04/29/2017 at 18:02, STARS: 0
My wife had a similar analysis.
"OpposResidentLexusGuy - USE20, XF20, XU30 and Press Cars" (jakeauern)
04/29/2017 at 18:03, STARS: 0
Lyle is Butch Jones first name. We are not happy with him right now.
!!! UNKNOWN CONTENT TYPE !!!
"Your boy, BJR" (jerseyshoreben)
04/29/2017 at 18:04, STARS: 0
Needs less figurative autofellatio and more literal goresplosions?
"Your boy, BJR" (jerseyshoreben)
04/29/2017 at 18:05, STARS: 0
What
"Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo" (thetomselleck)
04/29/2017 at 18:09, STARS: 0
Well, specifically that it promotes suicide as a revenge tactic, or in her words, “makes suicide appear glamorous.” See also: They’ll miss me when I’m gone.
"OpposResidentLexusGuy - USE20, XF20, XU30 and Press Cars" (jakeauern)
04/29/2017 at 18:13, STARS: 0
We were talking about 13 Reasons why.
"Berang" (berang)
04/29/2017 at 18:30, STARS: 1
what is 13 reasons for those of us who don’t give a shit about pop culture
"Your boy, BJR" (jerseyshoreben)
04/29/2017 at 18:33, STARS: 1
Show about a girl who kills herself then has someone pass out her suicide note (in cassette tape form) around school.
"Frenchlicker" (frenchlicker)
04/29/2017 at 18:51, STARS: 1
Supposedly the writers said they were going for a raw look at suicide. I say they can go fuck themselves. I will admit I have been on the verge of suicide before. And you know what, that is when I had some of the single most selfish thoughts wash over me in my existence. There are some that may be at that point that may see this and it may convince them it is the right thing to do because they can get back at people that way. That’s why the Society for the Prevention of Teen Suicide has guidelines for what not to put into a show targeted at teens or anybody in general, which they ignored. And on top of that the show creators talked to top psychologists and proceeded to ignore almost every single bit of information and suggestions given to them. One major no no from literally everybody is DO NOT SHOW SUICIDE ON SCREEN and guess what.
Tl; Dr I agree, the creators of this show can go fuck themselves.
"mazda616" (mazda616)
04/29/2017 at 18:52, STARS: 0
It seems to be really triggering for those that have anxiety and depression and other mental health issues. Not cool in my book. I have struggled with bad anxiety for years now, so I refuse to watch it.
"Your boy, BJR" (jerseyshoreben)
04/29/2017 at 19:07, STARS: 1
So I’m thinking after THIRTEEN REASONS DIE is a success, we do CHAPTER III: THE THIRTEEN’S REVENGE
After having her head lobbed off in the chainsaw duel, undead Hanna becomes a cyborg. The 13 reasons come back, now as undead killing machines themselves, and they’re a cyborg/zombie fight. Lets throw some ninjas and Chuck Norris in as well. That one will be a 2 hour movie, not a season of TV.
"G_Body_Man: Sponsored by the number 3" (gbodyman)
04/29/2017 at 19:39, STARS: 0
They’re making a season 2 of this cynical, exploitative shitshow? Fuck that.