by "Honeybunchesofgoats" (honeybunche0fgoats)
Published 04/28/2017 at 17:06
by "Honeybunchesofgoats" (honeybunche0fgoats)
Published 04/28/2017 at 17:06
No Tags
STARS: 5
It’s one thing if you want to put stupid dog and cat puns in my annual bill or other normal correspondence, but when you send me a letter announcing that you’ve switched insurance underwriters (sorry, “joined paws”) and fill it with dog puns (“delighted from nose to tail with this new partnership”) while informing me that my annual premium is rising 30% to $1,300 a year, you no longer offer 100% reimbursement, and that my deductible is increasing by nearly 200% to $350 per visit, those puns make me want to track you down and kick the shit out of you. To put it in puns that you will understand, woof woof I want to punch your face in meow.
"CB" (jrcb)
04/28/2017 at 17:10, STARS: 3
It’s the whole “time and place” thing that companies don’t have a good grasp of.
Funny stuff in day to day business and/or with positive news? Sure, go right ahead.
Funny stuff when telling a customer that things are going to cost them more? You’re an asshole.
"benjrblant" (benjblant)
04/28/2017 at 17:12, STARS: 1
ooh, ooh! lets translate these puns.
“joined paws”= monopolized.
“delighted from nose to tail with this new partnership”= Happy we’re bringing in more treats (monies) from reduced competition and fewer market options
Any more?
"Honeybunchesofgoats" (honeybunche0fgoats)
04/28/2017 at 17:15, STARS: 2
I just have to take solace is the knowledge that somewhere out there is a communications major who was so desperate for employment that they answered a job posting that had “ability to invent cat puns” under qualifications.
"Honeybunchesofgoats" (honeybunche0fgoats)
04/28/2017 at 17:18, STARS: 0
Not a pun but “We’re excited to be offering exciting new services such as PetCoach, hotline that will allow you to speak to a veterinary specialist 24/7"
Meaning: “we know your dog is not a laptop, but here’s a shitty service that you won’t use so we can pad your premiums.”
"Textured Soy Protein" (texturedsoyprotein)
04/28/2017 at 17:22, STARS: 0
Here is a selection of email ads from our pet sitting service.
"Sampsonite24-Earth's Least Likeliest Hero" (sampsonite24)
04/28/2017 at 17:25, STARS: 1
our pet insurance is through nationwide and it covers 100% of the cost with no deductible, we just pay up front and they reimburse us. its wonderful
"benjrblant" (benjblant)
04/28/2017 at 17:26, STARS: 1
“new call-in service” = A “specialist” to google things for you.
"Honeybunchesofgoats" (honeybunche0fgoats)
04/28/2017 at 17:29, STARS: 2
Fur babe, fur baby, and pet parent are all phrases that make my violently angry.
I die inside every time I take my dog to the vet and the receptionist asks if “Gracie’s parent is here.” I care and like my dog more than a lot of people. If I had children, I would probably like my dog more than them, because she isn’t a disappointment. But I am not her “parent,” she is not my “child.” She is a dog. I am her owner. Is she a friend? Yes. But she is a friend that I purchased with money through a financial attraction. She’s never said so, but I’m sure she finds that shit as condescending as I do.
"For Sweden" (rallybeetle)
04/28/2017 at 17:29, STARS: 1
$350 per visit
wut
"Honeybunchesofgoats" (honeybunche0fgoats)
04/28/2017 at 17:30, STARS: 1
I’ll have to check that out. I went with PetPlan originally, because they gave me a 15% alumni discount, but that’s not really making much of a difference with that hike in premiums and deductibles.
"If only EssExTee could be so grossly incandescent" (essextee)
04/28/2017 at 17:37, STARS: 2
Your pet plan costs more than my people plan.
"Honeybunchesofgoats" (honeybunche0fgoats)
04/28/2017 at 17:44, STARS: 1
Mine too. Like mine, it’s probably more comprehensive too. I have poor priorities.
"PS9" (PS9)
04/28/2017 at 18:00, STARS: 1
Drop’em.
"OPPOsaurus WRX" (opposaurus)
04/28/2017 at 18:11, STARS: 1
That’s a solid fuck no. Thats more than my house insurance
"yamahog" (yamahog)
04/28/2017 at 18:16, STARS: 1
now I’m curious how fancy this dog is and/or how they earn their keep
"Textured Soy Protein" (texturedsoyprotein)
04/28/2017 at 18:20, STARS: 1
Yeah it’s a bunch of cutesy patootsie nonsense. I don’t worry about it because this pet sitting service is very organized. They have a database of all the specific instructions on what to do with your pets (with three cats aged 10, 13 and 15 there are LOTS of instructions) so whichever sitter from their company comes on a given day, they do the same stuff. They leave notes and text you which is good because my wife always worries about them when we’re away. So getting the texts keeps her calm.
"Honeybunchesofgoats" (honeybunche0fgoats)
04/28/2017 at 19:07, STARS: 1
She’s a Rottweiler. She’s pretty broken and had two knees replaced when she was two. She doesn’t really do much besides sleep and eat and ignores me when I call her.