How

by "Smallbear wants a modern Syclone, local Maple Leafs spammer" (smallbear94)
Published 04/21/2017 at 12:52

Tags: Shitpost ; no reaaaaaally shitpost
STARS: 2

Does toilet paper become “PRO”?

Replies (55)

"MrDakka" (mrdakka)
04/21/2017 at 12:54, STARS: 1

Pro = 2 ply toilet paper?

"RamblinRover Luxury-Yacht" (ramblininexile)
04/21/2017 at 12:55, STARS: 2

It gets paid for playing and gives up amateur status. Duh.

"Smallbear wants a modern Syclone, local Maple Leafs spammer" (smallbear94)
04/21/2017 at 12:56, STARS: 0

HD FUR WIPIN’ MA BUT

"Ash78, voting early and often" (ash78)
04/21/2017 at 12:56, STARS: 3

By working your ass off.

"Rusty Vandura - www.tinyurl.com/keepoppo" (rustyvandura)
04/21/2017 at 12:56, STARS: 1

Depends upon your diet.

"Smallbear wants a modern Syclone, local Maple Leafs spammer" (smallbear94)
04/21/2017 at 12:57, STARS: 1

No longer part of the “Miracle on ass” team

"Chariotoflove" (chariotoflove)
04/21/2017 at 12:57, STARS: 2

I think there should be industry standard ratings that we can all understand and use to inform our purchases. They should start with “oatmeal”, and move up through “corned beef”, “chili”, and finally “Taco Bell burrito”.

"Smallbear wants a modern Syclone, local Maple Leafs spammer" (smallbear94)
04/21/2017 at 12:57, STARS: 0

Not sure I want that paper

"Smallbear wants a modern Syclone, local Maple Leafs spammer" (smallbear94)
04/21/2017 at 12:58, STARS: 0

Rusty nails, empty soft taco shells and the odd scorpion.

"Smallbear wants a modern Syclone, local Maple Leafs spammer" (smallbear94)
04/21/2017 at 13:02, STARS: 2

Taco Bell All-Bran Burrito with Ghost Pepper Sauce

"Chariotoflove" (chariotoflove)
04/21/2017 at 13:04, STARS: 1

Oh man, I need a bathroom trip after just reading that.

"Smallbear wants a modern Syclone, local Maple Leafs spammer" (smallbear94)
04/21/2017 at 13:04, STARS: 1

Sorry :)

"Ash78, voting early and often" (ash78)
04/21/2017 at 13:05, STARS: 2

Well, there’s always bush-league paper, but it’s in the Ladies’ Room.

"JRapp: now as good as new again" (jrapp)
04/21/2017 at 13:06, STARS: 1

I assume it’s to toilet paper, like the blue shop-towels are to paper towels - tougher, reusable, etc...

"DAWRX - The Herb Strikes Back" (karsonkinja)
04/21/2017 at 13:06, STARS: 2

“You only have one anus. So why leave things to chance? Let the Pros handle it. ‘Cascades Pro’”

"Flynorcal: pilot, offshore sailor, car racer and panty thief" (flynorcal)
04/21/2017 at 13:06, STARS: 4

“Now with less splinters”

"Smallbear wants a modern Syclone, local Maple Leafs spammer" (smallbear94)
04/21/2017 at 13:08, STARS: 0

...

"Smallbear wants a modern Syclone, local Maple Leafs spammer" (smallbear94)
04/21/2017 at 13:08, STARS: 0

...

"Smallbear wants a modern Syclone, local Maple Leafs spammer" (smallbear94)
04/21/2017 at 13:08, STARS: 0

*snort*

"415s30 W123TSXWaggoIIIIIIo ( •_•))°)" (415s30)
04/21/2017 at 13:08, STARS: 3

Probably means it’s like tissue paper for building management cheapness.

"Smallbear wants a modern Syclone, local Maple Leafs spammer" (smallbear94)
04/21/2017 at 13:08, STARS: 1

“Reusable” is not a word I EVER want to see on a toilet paper lable.

"Smallbear wants a modern Syclone, local Maple Leafs spammer" (smallbear94)
04/21/2017 at 13:10, STARS: 2

"Smallbear wants a modern Syclone, local Maple Leafs spammer" (smallbear94)
04/21/2017 at 13:10, STARS: 1

I just puckered a little.

"JRapp: now as good as new again" (jrapp)
04/21/2017 at 13:10, STARS: 1

But is it really that different from “recycled”?

"Smallbear wants a modern Syclone, local Maple Leafs spammer" (smallbear94)
04/21/2017 at 13:11, STARS: 0

Pro cost-cutting. There’s a unique angle of looking at pro.

“Daewoo--We Are Professional Grade”

"Smallbear wants a modern Syclone, local Maple Leafs spammer" (smallbear94)
04/21/2017 at 13:13, STARS: 1

“Previously Enjoyed” or “Pre-Owned” would also be preferable to “Reusable”.

 I just don’t want that word on my tp

"BlueMazda2 - Blesses the rains down in Africa, Purveyor of BMW Individual Arctic Metallic, Merci Twingo" (bluemazda2)
04/21/2017 at 13:17, STARS: 1

Certified Pre Owned Toilet Paper

"Smallbear wants a modern Syclone, local Maple Leafs spammer" (smallbear94)
04/21/2017 at 13:17, STARS: 2

*shudders*

“Certified” makes it even worse.

"Krieger (@FSKrieger22)" (Krieger22)
04/21/2017 at 13:19, STARS: 0

Bulk sales for office complexes or school campuses?

I can easily see the single ply stuff my college uses being passed off as “pro”.

"TheHondaBro" (wwaveform)
04/21/2017 at 13:20, STARS: 1

For the real toilet paper enthusiast.

"JRapp: now as good as new again" (jrapp)
04/21/2017 at 13:20, STARS: 1

What’s the process of certifying? Who tests and certifies it?

"Smallbear wants a modern Syclone, local Maple Leafs spammer" (smallbear94)
04/21/2017 at 13:23, STARS: 0

Obviously, but WHY is it pro? And why bother? They could have easily packaged their ordinary paper... and frankly my ass can’t tell the difference, if there is one.

"Smallbear wants a modern Syclone, local Maple Leafs spammer" (smallbear94)
04/21/2017 at 13:24, STARS: 0

YOUR MOM

"Smallbear wants a modern Syclone, local Maple Leafs spammer" (smallbear94)
04/21/2017 at 13:24, STARS: 0

When you just can’t leave things to chance.

"Scary__goongala!" (corymagee)
04/21/2017 at 13:28, STARS: 1

Only available to Jalopnik Gold card members

"Smallbear wants a modern Syclone, local Maple Leafs spammer" (smallbear94)
04/21/2017 at 13:28, STARS: 0

HAHA I GOT THIS WITHOUT PAYING MY DUES

"Stapleface" (patrickgruden)
04/21/2017 at 13:29, STARS: 2

Maybe it’s been recycled? It’s a “pro” for having been through this shit once before?

"Smallbear wants a modern Syclone, local Maple Leafs spammer" (smallbear94)
04/21/2017 at 13:31, STARS: 1

I may just go back to newspaper and corn cobs

"CalzoneGolem" (calzonegolem)
04/21/2017 at 13:33, STARS: 1

Reinforcing fibers.

"Scary__goongala!" (corymagee)
04/21/2017 at 13:34, STARS: 0

You ruined it, the Gawker police are on their way to your place of residence by nown I bet.

"Smallbear wants a modern Syclone, local Maple Leafs spammer" (smallbear94)
04/21/2017 at 13:35, STARS: 0

ouch

"Smallbear wants a modern Syclone, local Maple Leafs spammer" (smallbear94)
04/21/2017 at 13:35, STARS: 0

oh shit did I say that out loud?

"CalzoneGolem" (calzonegolem)
04/21/2017 at 13:52, STARS: 1

Next step up is abrasive particles.

"Smallbear wants a modern Syclone, local Maple Leafs spammer" (smallbear94)
04/21/2017 at 13:56, STARS: 1

1600 grit please

"Rusty Vandura - www.tinyurl.com/keepoppo" (rustyvandura)
04/21/2017 at 13:56, STARS: 1

Sand, shattered glass, hemlock...

"Smallbear wants a modern Syclone, local Maple Leafs spammer" (smallbear94)
04/21/2017 at 13:57, STARS: 1

Yum.

"Frank Grimes" (FrankGrimes)
04/21/2017 at 13:58, STARS: 3

asbestos

"Smallbear wants a modern Syclone, local Maple Leafs spammer" (smallbear94)
04/21/2017 at 13:59, STARS: 2

For dem fiery poops

"Smallbear wants a modern Syclone, local Maple Leafs spammer" (smallbear94)
04/21/2017 at 13:59, STARS: 3

Or was that supposed to be a pun...

ass-bestos

"CalzoneGolem" (calzonegolem)
04/21/2017 at 14:01, STARS: 0

It only comes in 100, 60 and 40

"Frank Grimes" (FrankGrimes)
04/21/2017 at 14:02, STARS: 2

I did consider making the pun butt I wanted to be taken seriously.

"Smallbear wants a modern Syclone, local Maple Leafs spammer" (smallbear94)
04/21/2017 at 14:03, STARS: 2

You cruel person

"Smallbear wants a modern Syclone, local Maple Leafs spammer" (smallbear94)
04/21/2017 at 14:03, STARS: 1

what you did there

"XJDano" (xjdano)
04/21/2017 at 15:15, STARS: 0

The reusable kind. Wipe, burn shit off, repete.

"Frank Grimes" (FrankGrimes)
04/21/2017 at 19:33, STARS: 1

and morons are always wondering why i keep a propane torch in the bathroom.