Remember that Time "Adequate" Man Didn't Like Light Green Cars?

by "For Sweden" (rallybeetle)
Published 04/18/2017 at 15:03

Tags: Green is Good ; Green ; Chevrolet C10 ; Chevy C10 ; Chevy ; Chevrolet ; C10 ; Truck Yeah
STARS: 8

Never listen to the opinions of celebrity journalists, kids.

Replies (42)

"CB" (jrcb)
04/18/2017 at 15:07, STARS: 0

“Celebrity” is a very loose term.

"Mercedes Streeter" (smart)
04/18/2017 at 15:09, STARS: 2

Green all the things!

"OPPOsaurus WRX" (opposaurus)
04/18/2017 at 15:10, STARS: 1

haha and you don’t even mention the use of ‘journalist’

"Ash78, voting early and often" (ash78)
04/18/2017 at 15:10, STARS: 1

"CB" (jrcb)
04/18/2017 at 15:11, STARS: 0

I didn’t think that needed to be said.

"TheBloody, Oppositelock lives on in our shitposts." (thebloody)
04/18/2017 at 15:12, STARS: 1

I mean, if that’s not a reason to have your man card revoked I don’t know what is...

For this exercise, I’m gonna stick to basic colors and not delve into the sordid and confusing world of official car colors, like Ocean Pearl, Red Chili, Forest Moon, Tangerine Bath, Tongue, Amethyst Fart, Vanilla Girthstone, Granite Night Terror, and Blue Methane. You can get lost for days in that tangle of glossy and sparkly finishes. Here’s how I’d rank the worst of them:

Bright green. What are you, the Green Goblin? I’m all for a hunter green sports coupe with a tan leather interior. That’s pure SEX, my friends. But once you dial that green up to sour apple, that shit looks like a clown car.Purple. I’m a Vikings fan and even I would kick a purple car right out of the driveway. The best reason to pick a bright color for your car is if A) You bought your fourth impossibly fancy Italian sports car and already have it in red, yellow, and black, or B) You’re buying a Geo Metro or some other cheap piece of shit, so you may as well spring for the purple one and then refer to it as “The Hot Rod” for laughs.Tan/Beige. My folks owned a beige Volvo, which is the most ‘80s car possible. Tan cars have not aged well. A tan car may as well be unpainted. “Why yes, I would like the Dead Sea Camouflage for my van.”

I should disclose here that I own two cars: one bright red, and one bright white. I did not expect to own a white car, but that’s what the dealer had, and hanging out at a car dealer makes me wanna die, so I bought the white minivan and got the fuck out of there. That’s how people end up driving cars that are purple and green and other weird colors. They don’t WANT a purple car, but it’s there on the lot and the price is right, and so they compromise and drive home in a fucking eggplant. I’m still amazed that car manufacturers can sustain a business by pre-fabricating green cars and hoping someone is desperate enough to buy one.

This is the most fuckboi response I’ve ever heard.

"DipodomysDeserti" (dipodomysdeserti)
04/18/2017 at 15:12, STARS: 3

"Jcarr" (jcarr)
04/18/2017 at 15:13, STARS: 2

I generally love reading Funbag, but he was off on the car color thing today.

I mean “hunter green”?

Excuse me, it’s British Racing Green, dammit.

"For Sweden" (rallybeetle)
04/18/2017 at 15:14, STARS: 0

Journalists who cover celebrities are celebrity journalists.

"CB" (jrcb)
04/18/2017 at 15:15, STARS: 0

"CB" (jrcb)
04/18/2017 at 15:15, STARS: 0

Ah, gotcha. I thought those were tabloid journalists? Have they rebranded their garbage?

"CB" (jrcb)
04/18/2017 at 15:16, STARS: 3

That’s one thing that keeps me from sending Jalopnik links to people is the fact that they curse like fifth graders who just found out what swear words are.

"not for canada - australian in disguise" (for-canada)
04/18/2017 at 15:18, STARS: 3

I will not tolerate this slander of Czech Racing Green.

"For Sweden" (rallybeetle)
04/18/2017 at 15:19, STARS: 0

I consider athletes to be celebrities, so probably.

"Ash78, voting early and often" (ash78)
04/18/2017 at 15:19, STARS: 1

Exactly...there’s a time and a place for it, but outside of using it for comedy or emphasis, it’s just lazy writing.

"Tekamul" (tekamulburner)
04/18/2017 at 15:24, STARS: 0

Cars is not a thing Drew knows. Besides, loud colors hold their value better

Also, the worst color is Audi Papaya Orange, also know as Thanksgiving Jackolantern.

!!!error: Indecipherable SUB-paragraph formatting!!!

"shop-teacher" (shop-teacher)
04/18/2017 at 15:24, STARS: 2

Yeah. Drew is funny, but he clearly knows jack squat about cars, and is dead wrong. He didn’t even mention the actual worst car color, gold.

"Ike" (untitledcarshow)
04/18/2017 at 15:33, STARS: 0

Unless there mine

"vondon302" (vondon302)
04/18/2017 at 15:39, STARS: 1

So much this!

"Rustholes-Are-Weight-Reduction" (rustholes-are-weight-reduction)
04/18/2017 at 15:43, STARS: 1

Well U wrong

"AMGtech - now with more recalls!" (amgtech)
04/18/2017 at 15:50, STARS: 1

I would happily sound my money on any of his supposed worst colors if it meant I didn’t have to drive something painted “I’ve-given-up-gold” or “old-man-tan”, more commonly known as “beige”.

"For Sweden" (rallybeetle)
04/18/2017 at 15:54, STARS: 0

but beige can be Good

"AMGtech - now with more recalls!" (amgtech)
04/18/2017 at 15:55, STARS: 2

Oh don’t get me wrong I don’t disagree, it’s just least likely to be good.

"Brickman" (legomaniacman)
04/18/2017 at 15:57, STARS: 1

Green is the best :D

"415s30 W123TSXWaggoIIIIIIo ( •_•))°)" (415s30)
04/18/2017 at 15:59, STARS: 1

My dad had that exact same truck

"For Sweden" (rallybeetle)
04/18/2017 at 16:00, STARS: 0

it’s a good truck

"415s30 W123TSXWaggoIIIIIIo ( •_•))°)" (415s30)
04/18/2017 at 16:04, STARS: 0

I wish he still had it, I got a grey 85 Chevy step side in high school. That truck went to the ranch in MT like everything else, I guess he sold it at some point.

"Chinny Raccoon" (chinnyraccoon)
04/18/2017 at 16:06, STARS: 0

I like it. The worst colour is clearly Black. It robs all the detail and shows up dirt.

"Nothing" (nothingatalluseful)
04/18/2017 at 16:07, STARS: 1

Take your black/white/gray vehicle and love it, damnit!

"shop-teacher" (shop-teacher)
04/18/2017 at 16:36, STARS: 0

You have convinced me more than ever that I am in fact correct.

"shop-teacher" (shop-teacher)
04/18/2017 at 16:38, STARS: 2

Agreed. And while I like how grey looks, it’s become so common and played-out that I feel like it’s being transformed into “give-up-grey.”

"Shoop" (shoopdawoop993)
04/18/2017 at 16:44, STARS: 1

That is bad.

"For Sweden" (rallybeetle)
04/18/2017 at 16:45, STARS: 0

no it is Good

"Pickup_man" (zekeh)
04/18/2017 at 16:54, STARS: 1

Carson (the person who submitted that question) is why we can’t have nice things.

"For Sweden" (rallybeetle)
04/18/2017 at 17:03, STARS: 1

I bet Carson watched All the President’s Men more than once.

"Pickup_man" (zekeh)
04/18/2017 at 17:21, STARS: 0

I don’t even know what that is.

"19JRC99" (19jrc99)
04/20/2017 at 23:36, STARS: 0

Can I have it?!

"For Sweden" (rallybeetle)
04/20/2017 at 23:39, STARS: 0

I wish it’s a good green

"LongbowMkII" (longbowmkii)
04/23/2017 at 16:12, STARS: 0

Beige is better than white-silver-black.

I saw a green(stellar silver) mazda5 and was jealous:

There are actually a lot of great colors on the 5. Wish the ND had as much choice.

"AMGtech - now with more recalls!" (amgtech)
04/23/2017 at 16:15, STARS: 0

No. Even an SLS looks like despair in beige.

"LongbowMkII" (longbowmkii)
04/23/2017 at 16:21, STARS: 0

an SLS looks like despair no matter the color

"AMGtech - now with more recalls!" (amgtech)
04/23/2017 at 18:20, STARS: 0

Oh no he di’n’t! GTFAC!